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Men and Child support. What is the answer?

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posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:01 PM
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reply to post by CaDreamer
 


You allege you pay $1,000.00 a month just for insurance for your kids? Ahhhhhhh, can you be more specific because I'm having trouble believing that! I'm well aware of how much medical insurance costs.....and it aint $1000.00 a month my friend!




posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:01 PM
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Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by CaDreamer
 


Do non-custodial fathers need a house to live in?

A one bedroom apartment is quite sufficient for non-custodial fathers since they don't have their kids most of the time.


thats kinda an odd thing to say....
sure why not one day if and when he ever stops bleeding money maybe he'd want to try again and maybe find the right one this time?



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:03 PM
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Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by Annee
 


Non-custodial parents are not realistic when it comes to child support.

This is the list of which non-custodial parents should pay half of in child support to the custodial parent:

1. Rent

2. Utilities (electricity, gas, water, phone)

3. Food

4. Clothing *basic

5. Transport

6. Dental checks @ twice a year including extras if needed

7. Medical/therapy (when needed)

8. Education (school fees, uniforms, stationary, extras)

9. Sports/extra activities

10. Tutoring *optional

any other costs relating to the said child beyond the above list then becomes optional for the non-custodial parent.

Now why is that so difficult? Now as a custodial parent, I'd be more than happy to cough up receipts for the above list to my ex..........getting paid is a whole different ball game though!


Wait, WHAAAT???!!!

Why should a man pay half of YOUR rent, car payment, utilities or for ANY extra-curricular activities such as sports for the child?

My parents were together and I couldn't afford sports equipment or a new band instrument, tough nookie kid.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:04 PM
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Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by And Now What
OMG are you serious? Yes the money is supposed to be for the kids, but more times than not it isn't. Tell me one mother, or father for that matter that receives cs that don't sit down at the kitchen table and eats the food that the other parents cs payed for............Do they Buy there own food separate? NO theres no better example than that
PERIOD! IMHO


YOU made a child. That is at least 50% your responsibility - - no matter what the circumstances are.

Child support payment is not YOUR money - - it is your child's money.



My responsibility ends with $300, half the cost of an abortion, plus cab fare.
edit on 1-6-2011 by CobraCommander because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:05 PM
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Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by CaDreamer
 


You allege you pay $1,000.00 a month just for insurance for your kids? Ahhhhhhh, can you be more specific because I'm having trouble believing that! I'm well aware of how much medical insurance costs.....and it aint $1000.00 a month my friend!


Im sure its possible if his kids have conditions not covered by the insurance ...????? or
that they are really accident prone.. maybe??



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:06 PM
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reply to post by CaDreamer
 


Have you considered joining a Fathers advocacy group on fathers rights? You will be amazed,as I was when I joined. Alot of info,like minded fathers,that truly care about their children.


Groups Advocating for Fathers Rights



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:07 PM
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reply to post by CaDreamer
 


But a majority of fathers who do have shared custody do NOT have their children 6 months of the year, let alone 3 months of the year.

If you can only afford a small room in a shared house then thats probably because you either earn less than $30k a year or you have a lot of debt meaning at some point in your life you lived well beyond your means. .



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:08 PM
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Originally posted by HomerinNC
reply to post by die_another_day
 


dont get me started on alimony...
alimony just means: I'm too lazy to get a job, so pay me for sitting around and doing nothing


Most likely means I've been out of the workforce for many years raising your children and it's gonna take me a little while to gain a marketable skill so for those years lost taking care of you and your kids please help me out here 'till I can get on my feet.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:08 PM
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I have always viewed child support as my children's money. What I started the first week I received a payment was I opened a new bank account for each child. I split the money between their accounts every week and I add 50% of the amount he sends to each of their accounts. I was adding more but I took on the responsibility of medical, dental and eye insurance and I pay for their food, schooling, medical and other fun activities they enjoy throughout the week.
I use the money in their accounts to pay for medical bills out of scope of my income, car insurance for our now 16 year old (she has a job and purchased her own car and pays for gas), their seasonal clothing, birthday and Christmas presents etc. Each child receives a little over 400 a month from their father and a little over 200 each from me. They have a nice sum saved up in their accounts so if nothing major ever comes up, god forbid, they will have most of their college paid for or even a down payment on a home if they do not choose college.
I think if more mothers would set up an arrangement such as this and show the father's or mother's whatever the case might be, there would be less bickering and hard feelings. My ex and I can not stand each other but he knows about the accounts and is 100% for the way I have done things. He knows the money he made is being used to care for his children and I have a clean conscious when I lay my head down at night.
The mothers who abuse this need to receive education on what this money is actually for and be forced to account for their spending. I know plenty of custodial parents who receive child support and refuse to work and it makes me sick. It is not the father's responsibility to support the child 100% let alone the custodial parent, it should be a 50/50 venture.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:08 PM
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Originally posted by CobraCommander

Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by And Now What
OMG are you serious? Yes the money is supposed to be for the kids, but more times than not it isn't. Tell me one mother, or father for that matter that receives cs that don't sit down at the kitchen table and eats the food that the other parents cs payed for............Do they Buy there own food separate? NO theres no better example than that
PERIOD! IMHO


YOU made a child. That is at least 50% your responsibility - - no matter what the circumstances are.

Child support payment is not YOUR money - - it is your child's money.



My responsibility ends with $300, half the cost of an abortion, plus cab fare.
edit on 1-6-2011 by CobraCommander because: (no reason given)


ouch! you sir are no longer my hero...



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:08 PM
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Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by CaDreamer
 


But a majority of fathers who do have shared custody do NOT have their children 6 months of the year, let alone 3 months of the year.

If you can only afford a small room in a shared house then thats probably because you either earn less than $30k a year or you have a lot of debt meaning at some point in your life you lived well beyond your means. .


Or your ex-wife lived well beyond your means.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:08 PM
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I think it's hard for everyone. Also think in terms of if you had the children 24/7 or majority of the time. Taking care of your offspring is priceless and not only requires money, but, energy, time and patience.

Being the custodial parents means less time to yourself, and being on constant guard.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:10 PM
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Originally posted by And Now What

Originally posted by CobraCommander

Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by And Now What
OMG are you serious? Yes the money is supposed to be for the kids, but more times than not it isn't. Tell me one mother, or father for that matter that receives cs that don't sit down at the kitchen table and eats the food that the other parents cs payed for............Do they Buy there own food separate? NO theres no better example than that
PERIOD! IMHO


YOU made a child. That is at least 50% your responsibility - - no matter what the circumstances are.

Child support payment is not YOUR money - - it is your child's money.



My responsibility ends with $300, half the cost of an abortion, plus cab fare.
edit on 1-6-2011 by CobraCommander because: (no reason given)


ouch! you sir are no longer my hero...


Lol. I am not a fan of abortion really. But so long as that is an option for women, that is where the man's responsibility ends. If she wants to keep it, that's her choice.

Not to mention that she could also give it up for adoption. Can the man put the kid up for adoption if he can't afford to pay support?



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:12 PM
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Text Blue
I am also paying my child support. As only any father should that doesn't have custody. That being said. I am all for the laws to be changed to fit both parents. And not so they fit only the female. I have had two long and steady jobs to support my son. My ex has had two as well. Although mine lasted many, many years. Her jobs have lasted a month each. Meaning she has worked two months out of twelve years. In the time she has not worked, she has seen fit to bring several men into my son's life that she met through the internet. None of which lasted beyond her getting knocked up again and claiming even more child support. Now she has three seperate children by three different men. The last child, she doesn't even know who the real father is. It is a sad state we men find ourselves in when we are forced to give up our rights to our own children to women just because they give birth. It's not right! I love my son, and do without many things just so he can even have the proper size fitting clothes to wear each year. What does she decide is more important to spend my support on? more DVD's, a new Flat screen t.v., another new computer (which my son is forbidden to even be on at her home), and dating sites for her to find new victoms on. You want to talk about bad...I had custody of my son when she ran off. But because she gave birth, I was told to have four days a month or none at all. But because I spent so much time with my son, we have a bond. A bond that pisses her off to no end. And now my son has decided that he wants to live with me full time. But we can't go back to court for this until he is 14, he is 12 now. I can't wait to take this back to court and let the judge hear my son speak about all that has happened. Maybe, with the good Lords blessings, I will have my son. And she will simple have to make do with only one other known father, and an unknown father. I know that not all weomen are like this, and I thank God for that. But for those that are, beware, the laws will change with time. Nothing stays the same forevere.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:14 PM
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Originally posted by Teeky
I think it's hard for everyone. Also think in terms of if you had the children 24/7 or majority of the time. Taking care of your offspring is priceless and not only requires money, but, energy, time and patience.

Being the custodial parents means less time to yourself, and being on constant guard.


That's the choice you make when you decide to become a parent.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:14 PM
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reply to post by And Now What
 


You know, funny thing that. I know alot of non-custodial fathers and their ex wives......and when no:2 wife comes along....I think, omg you can't be serious!

Usually, the first wife is the right one but so many husbands just throw away the best thing that ever happened to them. They soon find out their mistake....by then it's too late.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:14 PM
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reply to post by CobraCommander
 


polarization happens on all big issues so i concede that. i am not even fighting over who should pay. I have paid faithfully for 12 years...and did it on my own too for 2 years before my ex made it official by getting it court ordered and tripled. my beef is it should be non taxable income. or some others such incentive to assist low income men who are PAYING and have no arrears. the non deadbeats...like myself.

to other posters about their exes spending the money like its a lotto winning. Not your call as upset as you get the courts have determined that the woman is better at taking care of the child by awarding the child to the mother. if the court is wrong that's what child protective services is for, use them they are your ally. i say that from experience. However don't go pointing out the flaws in your ex until you have had a good look at yourself first. Don't complain about your exes drinking if you have the same problem etc.
I don't drink at all. i don't do so because my first wife is an alcoholic. ..a fifth a day habit.

My children are nearly fully reached adulthood. my battle is nearing the end i give this advice out of my personal dealings with the system. My kids get it, they struggled too, but because mom was wasteful and threw parties every week for years, not an exaggeration. my kids are now very close to me because they see now that they didn't see me as much as they wanted but i had the same problem there was no time left in the day to be there and keep myself from jail as well .
i put myself through college during all this. guys it is a beastly beastly path that you will be traveling down. i am advocating for people to stand up and see howbig this issue is and how it must be addressed its literally killing people.

when i say low income i mean net not gross income.

edit on 1-6-2011 by CaDreamer because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:15 PM
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Originally posted by CobraCommander

Originally posted by And Now What

Originally posted by CobraCommander

Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by And Now What
OMG are you serious? Yes the money is supposed to be for the kids, but more times than not it isn't. Tell me one mother, or father for that matter that receives cs that don't sit down at the kitchen table and eats the food that the other parents cs payed for............Do they Buy there own food separate? NO theres no better example than that
PERIOD! IMHO


YOU made a child. That is at least 50% your responsibility - - no matter what the circumstances are.

Child support payment is not YOUR money - - it is your child's money.



My responsibility ends with $300, half the cost of an abortion, plus cab fare.
edit on 1-6-2011 by CobraCommander because: (no reason given)


ouch! you sir are no longer my hero...


Lol. I am not a fan of abortion really. But so long as that is an option for women, that is where the man's responsibility ends. If she wants to keep it, that's her choice.

Not to mention that she could also give it up for adoption. Can the man put the kid up for adoption if he can't afford to pay support?



You Made an excellent point there,
you are now back my hero!!!!



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:15 PM
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Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by Annee
 


Non-custodial parents are not realistic when it comes to child support.

This is the list of which non-custodial parents should pay half of in child support to the custodial parent:



You don't have to convince me - I know.

Being a single parent - - even with support - - and family support these day is extremely difficult.

My dad left my mother because she contracted polio - he couldn't handle it. I divorced my husband because he was jealous of his own children and it was beginning to affect them. My daughter tried to let her son's dad pay voluntarily - - only when he became a teenager did she file for support. She's received a total of $27.

My daughter married a man when her son was 9 - - he was behind on his payments - - so she had to work to pay for his kids - - while her son barely got necessities. But too bad. You create a child - - it is your responsibility to support that child.

BTW - - she loves her husbands daughters. She did not like it that her son was denied things - - but I did not raise whiners. My main focus has always been integrity.

In the long run my grandson learned about responsibility and there are no hand outs.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:17 PM
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reply to post by bluemirage5
 


no it means i pay 35 % of my income in child support another 25% in insurance (court ordered) i live on 40% of my income ...i earned nearly 50k last year...you don't live in California do you?

edit on 1-6-2011 by CaDreamer because: to add mocking tone



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