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Men and Child support. What is the answer?

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posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 09:13 PM
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Originally posted by Hillbilly123069

Originally posted by g146541
reply to post by CaDreamer
 


I truly feel for you, in Kalifornia it seems only mothers understand how to raise a child, and it is quite priceless, both metaphorically and literally.
I can offer no advice except to say hang in there it does get better, right about the childs 18th birthday.
The states have a way of making some fathers dislike things about their children by charging the non custodial parent for huge amounts of cash and no tax deductions.
I understand why some fathers flee, it is a life sentance and child support cannot be removed by bankruptcy.
Back in 90 or so I was nailed for a little over 1500. a month for 2 boys.
I kept up with it but barely, i had no deductions and made a huge amount of cash that always went to the ex.
I literally bought her a house.
But it does get better, hang in there.


They upped it to 24 yrs old if the kids stay in school.


but not if they go into the military first. then they pay for the college...
)
edit on 1-6-2011 by CaDreamer because: (no reason given)

they meaning the military. college scholarships. and child support stops at 18...that will be October when my only son enters the marines.
edit on 1-6-2011 by CaDreamer because:
edit on 1-6-2011 by CaDreamer because: to add
extra DIV




posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 09:14 PM
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reply to post by Aeons
 


I fought my battle everyone by my self!!!!! and even though I lost 65% of the cases I had the ones that
were most important i won! Here in NC you sit in a court room long enough you will see. those who fight fight fight
get back up and fight more grab the bull by the horns, make a name for them self's the judges see that, they know some times when a person is on the up and up or being sly.....



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 09:15 PM
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reply to post by queenofsheba
 


hey, I'm not against alcohol.....nothing wrong with the odd glass or wine or a couple of beers.....

I stated quite clearly......ABUSE of alcohol and illegal substances should be a no go!!!!



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 09:15 PM
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reply to post by And Now What
 


Thats not what I said at all, I'm saying that 50% are housing, power, water, etc... and That is what a man/woman should have to pay if they are not the custodial parent. Maybe some people are made to pay more than that, but if they have the means then why not. But I was saying that utilities and Rent should be considered in the 50% of what it costs to raise a child.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 09:17 PM
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reply to post by SusyQ30
 


You are correct. If anyone with some intelligence READS the child support agencies websites and information, it states quite clearly that IS what child support should be going towards first and foremost!



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 09:19 PM
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Originally posted by HomerinNC
its funny, all you hear about is the deadbeat parents, you NEVER hear about the good ones that step up to the plate and do their responsibilities, why is that I wonder.. [/quote

There are no cheering squads for good parents. We all just have to smugly look at each other and know.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 09:21 PM
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Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by queenofsheba
 


hey, I'm not against alcohol.....nothing wrong with the odd glass or wine or a couple of beers.....

I stated quite clearly......ABUSE of alcohol and illegal substances should be a no go!!!!


Abuse of alcohol is harder to prove, though. It is a legal substance, but if a parent gets pulled over in a car over the legal limit with minor children in the car, then the law can step in and charge with child endangerment. My ex could have said, "But oh, she drinks wine every night, she's unfit." Never endangered my kids doing it, though. See, there's a difference. Whether or not we agree with it or not...cuz if a parent drinks a bottle of wine or a 12-pack of beer every night and passes out and who knows what the kids are up to...if nothing happens during that time to the kids, it's really hard to make a case of being an unfit parent. Bring in coke and meth though...big difference. It's the way the laws are written I suppose. And to be honest, in all my seven and a half years of working in social services, never once saw kids taken into protective custody cuz their parents smoked pot. That says alot.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 09:23 PM
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reply to post by SusyQ30
 


From my understanding utilities ect. are included in that 50%, Im talking about when the other Custodial parent
elects to seek more from the other simply cause they want a new car, or house, or what ever vise they see that is pretty and shinnie. Really though, are you saying you expect (for lack of better words) someone that's being Made pay 12-50% of their check every week to cs pay more. Uhm unless im totally misunderstanding you is that just pure beating a sucker when hes down? Low blow maybe, have you ever pause to think, if a man can support himself, you really think hes gonna support anyone else, including but not limited to hes kids? (and this applies for women too)



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 09:26 PM
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reply to post by Aeons
 


Wrong.


According to the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), nearly 75 percent of all child custody awards are made to the mother. Only about 10 percent of child custody awards are made to fathers. The rest of the child custody awards involve some sort of joint custody arrangement.

According to the Census Bureau, parents who owe child support are more likely to pay the ordered child support if they either share custody of or have visitation rights with their children.

Recent Census Bureau child custody statistics also indicate that nearly 40 percent of all noncustodial fathers have no access to or visitation rights with their children

Source: www.childcustodycoach.com...


We have two lawyers (criminal law) in the family here in Illinois and they say Illinois is more backwards and the statistics run more like 80% or higher in favor of the woman.

Now, with my ex daughter in law, she came to our home at 3 AM (We were baby sitting our grand daughter overnight)..........with the police, removed our grand daughter with my son right there and disappeared for three months.

If my son had attempted this, he would have been stopped and not allowed to take his daughter (sorry takes the males sperm 50% to make a baby). And he would have probably been charged with kidnapping his own daughter, who he raised while mom was busy living her own life.

We have been told that according to "the law" the child(ren) are classified as belonging like property to the mother.

And by the way, my son is the one who worked full time came home and took care of my grand daughter because her mother was busy going to school, and singing at bars.

Don't get me going on this sweet heart.....................the joint custody and divorce laws are very anti male here in Illinois.

Do your research.
edit on 1-6-2011 by ofhumandescent because: grammar



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 09:30 PM
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reply to post by bluemirage5
 


They can say what ever they want, ITS NOT ENFORCED !
I read somewhere that the world was gonna end may 21 IT DIDN'T!
IVE SEEN parents use their smartone's card or nc childsupport card to go by condoms and adult toys, hey by all right they can do that i guess, simply cause they are the ones holding the kids, whos gonna stop them? You? Your website you hold up in front as if to defend your hatered toward whom ever ? just saying MHO
We all need to understand the system IS BROKEN, child support nowadays isnt for kids, its about money!!!!



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 09:36 PM
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reply to post by And Now What
 


50%

Joint Custody is a joke here in Illinois a big fat mucking joke.

If you are the paternal grandparent, (the only set that really care, love and cherish this child) forget it you have no rights, no say so.

Joint Custody means that if mom decides to obey court rulings (if she doesn't the court will play around for about 8 years) the father may have his child(ren) for 48 hours every two weeks.

Forget school plays
Forget dancing recitals
Forget girl scouts
Forget being informed who your child's doctor, teacher, school, report cards..............on and on and on it goes and yes we have had some of the best lawyers and spent top dollars.

In Illinois, no one, not even family services will talk with the child until they are twelve.

The mother can have eight boy friends within eight years, sleazy bar fly friends, relatives that have criminal records and do dope in front of their kids (her one brother has four children out of wedlock and has abandon them now)................but the court doesn't care.

They simply don't care.

The children, now it is millions of them slip through the cracks and our system is corrupt to the core, all it is, is a money scheme to pad the pockets of the lawyers, judges and court officials at the expense of our children.

And no mommy isn't always the best choice.

My grand daughter has told me stuff that she should not have had to see or hear................but, the court does not care.

She will survive and endure because she has a strong, good loving father, grandfather and me to fall back on.

Her last words were, "When is anybody going to ask me who I want to live with?" I said, "When you are twelve you will get to talk to the judge"............she replied, "Well I'm ready now, I want to go live with my papa and XXX, they love me, not mama."

She just turned ten and on her tenth birthday we got to celebrate (several days late) she said, "Well two more years to go and I won't ever have to see my mother again".

Her mother because of her vendictiveness has hung her own self ................... we have never bad mouthed her mother.

Her mother has alienated her own daughter by her meaness and playing head games that now her daughter recognizes.

I sincerly wish nobody out there reading this ever has to go through the heart ache we have had to endure.

I think about her every day.
edit on 1-6-2011 by ofhumandescent because: grammar



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 09:41 PM
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reply to post by And Now What
 


Child support IS about the survival of our children from day to day until they turn 18! If child support is not about money to pay for the basic neccessities of what all children are entitiled to, then what IS it about? Without money to pay for these things, children start sleeping in cardboard boxes, under a park bench, eating out rubbish bins......children are NOT dogs or wild beasts!

Got it??? Now which part of that don't you understand?



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 09:46 PM
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i see the thread has gone in a new direction, that is fine thank you all for your input i appreciate you all. :



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 09:49 PM
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reply to post by bluemirage5
 


lets see, uhm, the part where one of the parents deliberately attempts to become impregnated, have a kid for the sole purpose of using said kid as a tool or weapon against parent B with the intent of having someone else support her and a child because they are too trashy and unworthy to even be allowed to breed. Furthermore, Said Trashy person, manipulates the system, courts and powers that be to turn a profit of parent B. And (mostly females) she knows she can do it and get away with it taunting it in parent B face while he works 2 40+hour jobs for the next 18+ years to have a cardboard box to sleep in, and goodwill'd clothing to cover his body. the whole thing makes me sick to my stomach..... btw maybe the other parent should what what get a JOB..
edit on 03/05/2006 by And Now What because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 10:04 PM
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The most ludicrous BS about this whole system is how my multimillionaire father got out of paying "fair" Child Support payments, got out of paying for any of our colleges except my sister who's the oldest but he did eventually end up getting out of paying for her so that she couldn't finish. But, how the struggling, poor dads are being nailed to the wall, how me and my children and their father have to struggle in poverty simply because the harlot FAT A$$ ex of his refuses to work and lives on the government dime which enforces CS more than any other legal outlet (if I were to leave him I'd probably never get a hearing for CS unless I went on welfare). This is facts....
Have a lot of money and lawyers and the law's bending over kissing your A$$ regardless if they know you can pay what has been ordered and then some, then just like all other things in Government take it from the poor SOP who can barely make ends meet...vicous cycle that we see in everything from taxes to prison sentencing...and it goes on and on and on...

And what's worse my dad CAN and HAS BEEN GRANTED BY THE COURTS TO KEEP US, ALL 3 CHILDREN OUT OF HIS WILL (I will be fighting this though since it was granted in NJ and the dummy has moved to Maryland where they usually grant the children who contest the will at least partial estate) HA!!! EAT THAT DADDY!!!!


So it sn't just male/female divide, it's also have/have not divide...I seen it with my own two eyes. I thought when Clinton made these support laws "GOOD!!! Maybe S****HEADS like my dad wont ever again be able to get the court to drop the CS down below crap poverty level now" But I was wrong Money still has all the say...like they say money talks and BS walks and the people who are picking up the tab is the one's who can LEAST AFFORD it!!!!!

edit on 1-6-2011 by ldyserenity because: spellin



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 10:05 PM
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reply to post by And Now What
 


You make out almost all single parents are trash and have multiple children to multiple men. Thats is simply not the case. More than 50% of the single mothers out there are divorced women who never thought they would wind up divorced during their marriage vowels.

It takes two to make babies. You BOTH are responsible for the outcome should a child be concieved.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 10:13 PM
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Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by And Now What
 



It takes two to make babies. You BOTH are responsible for the outcome should a child be concieved.


I so agree with that, spot on!!!!! however I still contest, if theres not enough money to make ends meet, then why Not get a job, broken system and all, cs is what it is, if you have to pay x amount of dollars and a judge orders it, forget anymore from me, If you cant support the kids then maybe they dont need to be with you.... Maybe they need to be with the other parent and the cs lifted asap! then what you gonna do, ?/////



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 10:17 PM
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I got 5 years left.


Yep, it is unfair. I'm not going to mention my case because it is similar to so many other stories already posted.

Don't see politicians changing anything.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 10:18 PM
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Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by And Now What
 


You make out almost all single parents are trash and have multiple children to multiple men. Thats is simply not the case. More than 50% of the single mothers out there are divorced women who never thought they would wind up divorced during their marriage vowels.



For the record, dont remember saying anything about multiple kids from multiple dads, dont know where you got that from. Also, I would be inclined to disagree with that 50% you are saying for about the single mother divorced after marriage. Just an interesting number would love to see the source of that if you have it. and Lastly
You have to admit that this kind of thing goes on, and does. I have seen it, I HAVE BEEN A VICTIM OF IT AS WELL!!!!



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 10:18 PM
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My old boss used to earn $500k/year.

He gives $250k to 1 wife and $250k to the other.

He lives in a 1 bedroom apartment...



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