Men and Child support. What is the answer?

reply to post by ofhumandescent


No, you just sound like a bitter MIL whose son can do no wrong. Of course she is a horrible person. If she was a great person, you wouldn't tell us anyways, because you have to make a case for custody.

All you have done is come on here and talk about how horrible she is. If she was that evil, your son wouldn't of fallen for her in the first place.

And yes, I do have a clue. I have a very good clue.

Originally posted by bluemirage5
It's all to do with COMMON SENSE....I tried to tell you about 100 posts back but like I said, if you can't meet your ex wife half way and negotiate child support, you obviously lack basic communication skills and could'nt negotiate your way out of a fish bowl!

I don't think you have any idea how it works. A custodial parent can go in and say "I don't need or want any support," and the court can still order the support. The custodial cannot forfeit the "child's right" to any of the support.

Besides, many women have no interest in a reasonable conversation with their ex (no matter how great their communication skills are LOL - really, how niave can you be?), they'll happily take every cent they can get whether it's fair or not.

reply to post by sonnny1


Ok, you have sadly given up the ghost. If that is the only lame retort you can use. But then when you started posting random statistics for no reason, I knew I got under your skin.

So you are but am I? So you are but what am I?

Originally posted by nixie_nox
The best thing for a child when they are young is to stay home and bond with a parent. Not to be stuck in an institutional setting, with strangers and non family members. Not to mention the cost of childcare is extremely expensive and it may have been more then the salary of the person working, so they opt to stay home, and usually choose the person who makes more to keep working.
But by your blaise attitude, we should just stick all children into daycares and what is best for them be damned.

What on earth are you talking about? I'm a huge proponent of a parent staying home.

Originally posted by nixie_nox
And why should we live in a society that punishes people for raising their children? The US is already the worst for that, many countries allow paid maternity leave. Why are you advocating the seperation of children from their parents?

How does society "punish" a parent who chooses to stay home?

The U.S. does allow paid maternity leave.

Originally posted by nixie_nox
Good thing your not. You advocate institutiosn raising children and that no one should be held responsible for providing for them.

So now you're just gonna make stuff up huh?

Originally posted by nixie_nox
by the way, congrats on being a professional victim.

I don't consider myself the victim, I consider my kids the victims (the "professional victims" are the feminists).

reply to post by SevenBeans


If a woman has broken out of an abusive relationship then that obviously tell you the husband's communication skills is that of a caveman...or worse.

If both parents have come to a private arrangement in regards to child support/access/property and assets, the lawyers draw up the legal documents and get it stamped by the Family Court without either parent being there. No custodial parent forfeits child support.....thats just wishful thinking on your part. No judge is going to accept a private agreement where child support is not part of that and no custodial parent is going to agree to such a private arrangement where child support is not going to be paid anyhow.

Originally posted by bluemirage5
If a woman has broken out of an abusive relationship then that obviously tell you the husband's communication skills is that of a caveman...or worse.

Who said anything about an abusive relationship?

reply to post by bluemirage5


Whats wrong with that?

reply to post by SevenBeans


There you go.....and now you have some understanding WHY non-custodial parents should pay child support!

Originally posted by bluemirage5
If both parents have come to a private arrangement in regards to child support/access/property and assets, the lawyers draw up the legal documents and get it stamped by the Family Court without either parent being there. No custodial parent forfeits child support.....thats just wishful thinking on your part. No judge is going to accept a private agreement where child support is not part of that and no custodial parent is going to agree to such a private arrangement where child support is not going to be paid anyhow.

You keep suggesting that any Man with the tiniest bit of communication/negotiation skills should be able to come to a reasonable, private agreement with his ex... that is nonsense.

As for "negotiating" on child suport, generally the court will allow agreements that call for "more than normal" support, not less.

reply to post by SevenBeans


It's an example of why some women can not and should not have any communication with their ex's; if the ex husbands want to act like cavemen then let her lawyer and the courts deal with the child support issues.

Originally posted by bluemirage5
There you go.....and now you have some understanding WHY non-custodial parents should pay child support!

You mean so their Mother can blow it on jewelry and other garbage while making the kids miserable by screaming at them all the time and acting like they're an annoyance?

Ok yeah... I guess that does make sense.

Originally posted by bluemirage5
99.9% of non-custodial fathers do not want shared custody arrangements because it means he would have the children 6 months of the year!

More sexist garbage.

reply to post by nixie_nox


My son fell for her because she is 5' tall, a little over 100 pounds, billowy blonde hair that was down to her waist and very physically beautiful.

I advised him to think with the head on his shoulders but like most men he thought with his other head.

Let's see...................bitter mother in law, no - I have forgiven her and wish her no harm.

No, my son isn't perfect but he did pick up their child every night, and take care of her every single night while she went to school, and to bars to help her brother with his Kareokee business...........every single night after work she left her daughter for my son to take care of.

Whan our grand daughter was two, she came to our home at around 3AM with the police and demanded her daughter who we were watching for her.

We complied.

We, my husband, son and I did not see or hear or know where our grand daughter was for over three months..........imagine not knowing where your child was for three months.

My son gained 40 pounds and she found him undesirable so she lied and said he hit her..................my son does not hit nor is he violent..........sloppy beyond belief, absent minded, eats too much, smokes cigerettes, somewhat lazy but if your kid was drowning while everyone was standing around with their finger in there ears he would be the one to jump in and save your kid or you............he is a humanitarian, a very decent human being.

My ex daughter in law used the same lawyer her father used against her mother. Her mother subsequently left the state and her children to her husband (my ex daughter in law's father).

My ex daughter in law's father raised her to be a real fighter, his motto was "get them before they get you".

When he first met me he was laying on a couch smoking and drunk, suffering from dementia - he said, "God you're fat". He did not raise up from his laying down position, he just laid there cussing out his daughter because she would not have a second abortion.................my grand daughter.

All of my daughter in law's (ex daughter in law's) siblings are mentally screwed up big time.

Her younger brother has four children out of wedlock and left his wife with two or three other kids...........he smokes pot in front of his kids, my grand daughter has told me she watched and the smoke made her feel funny and sick so she went outside.

Want more u2u me.......................no, I am no longer bitter. I have to let this go because as you can tell things are changing, start researching into quantum physics, our planet earth is in flux, there are major changes occurring and those that do not have love within their hearts and are not service to others will be left behind - the Christians call it "The Rapture" in actuality, according to quantum physics, and the Mayans, 2012 ends a cycle and there is the possibility that an entire planet for the first time will ascend together into a higher dimension, leaving behind it's twin with those that harbor hate, despair, fear and cannot FORGIVE.

As of now, I do forgive my son's ex wife, she is a tortured soul, and like her father who had exactly three friends attend his funeral (my husband's entire family came for support)..............she will most likely end up like her father because she knows nothing better.

My guess Nixie is you are still quite young - you have much to learn and not a lot of time left if the Mayans are correct.

Learn to love, forgive and move on.......................do not hate, do not try to "get even" - karma, the universal law will take care of us all.

Possibly you may find Dolores Cannon's Books interesting.

Yes my son made a poor choice, I warned him, but he didn't listen.

This time, his new fiance is totally different, she is a lovely sweet wonderful person who has stuck by my son even after being harrassed and stalked by my son's ex.

We still do not have a address so I can send my grand daughter a birthday or Christmas card - she had a cell phone by court order but my ex daughter in law smashed it.

I forgive her...................I love her even because she cannot help how she was raised.

Raise a child or animal in hatred and that is what they will know.

If we are to make this planet a better place we must put aside our pettiness, forgive and learn to love each other - for we are all really one, like drops of rain and "god" is the ocean.

Peace and Safe Journey

reply to post by SevenBeans


You know what......

The non-custodial parents who treat their ex wives like crap would'nt dare go on to the streets or to work and speak to his employer or fellow workers with the same disrespect......once you are no longer a couple, you treat your ex wife with the same respect you would of your fellow man.

For example: you abuse your wife but you would'nt dare go and abuse your boss or fellow work mates, right? So that means you do have a level of control outside the home.

That tells me constructive communication can be achieved if you treated your ex wife with dignity and respect in the first place.

I've already supplied the answer. Equal rights for both men and women in regards to time with their children. No fighting , no bickering, this thread should be closed and eveyone on here should be calling their congressmen about sponsoring such a bill in their state.

reply to post by ofhumandescent


12 statements in that post and ten are about how horrible she and her family is. I don't think you have forgiven.
You can try to make yourself seem zen by saying so, but it doesnt' make it true.
Or there wouldn't be 12 statements about what is wrong with her and all the "bad" things she has done.

And you don't know my age or my story. You have no idea what I have been through. And what I know and why.

Originally posted by bluemirage5
The non-custodial parents who treat their ex wives like crap would'nt dare go on to the streets or to work and speak to his employer or fellow workers with the same disrespect......once you are no longer a couple, you treat your ex wife with the same respect you would of your fellow man.

For example: you abuse your wife but you would'nt dare go and abuse your boss or fellow work mates, right? So that means you do have a level of control outside the home.

Are you saying that me describing how she treats my Son is abuse? Great, describing the behavior of an abuser is now abuse against that person. Brillant.

And custodial parents treat non-custodials like crap just as often as vice-versa.

Originally posted by bluemirage5
That tells me constructive communication can be achieved if you treated your ex wife with dignity and respect in the first place.

And once again you're full of crap. My ex told me that if I ever filed for divorce I would NEVER see my kids again (even if she had to lie and say I abused them). "Constructive communication, dignity, and respect" were no longer part of her vocab when I told her I no longer wanted to be married to her... she used every tool at her disposal trying to destroy my life (at a huge cost to our kids).

Like I said your little, "treat a woman with respect and they will respect you" mem is absurd (and sexist, once again).

reply to post by ofhumandescent


Well, if you really believe in the Mayan calender and by end of 2012; for God's sake.....you are talking nonsence now!

Remember this: healthy mind = healthy body! A good healthy diet and exercise might do the family alot of good in more ways than one!

reply to post by bluemirage5


Why is it always the man who is made to look like the brute..............my grand daughter at four came in the door crying because mama was punching papa with the police laughing at the desiginated pick up spot.

My son has never hit my ex daughter in law.............he is 6'2" and weighs over 215, if he hit her (she's 5', 100 lbs) she'd be dead.

No, I personally have seen more women punch around on men than vice versa..........women, the new breed of women are getting mean, and I mean really mean.

Now, NOBODY should be hitting anybody period.

But, the old sterotype of poor abused woman is passe.

And many women are using the system that was originally set up to protect them, to now abuse men.

reply to post by SevenBeans


For God's sake, pull your finger out of your noch!

During access does your son look nice and healthy? Does he wear clean clothes? Is he developing at a normal age of a 5 year old boy? I'm assuming he comes to you with no apparent physical marks of abuse......

then your kid is thriving and his mother is doing a good job!

So stop whining!