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A Secret for A Secret 'Woman'

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posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:05 PM
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Men and woman have held secrets every since Adam and Eve started double dating back in the days with Wilma and Fred Flintstone. Adam could never understand why eve would always say to Wilma>

‘Come go with me Wilma, I have to go powder my nose’

One-day Eve got on Adams nerves so bad, he sent a message by Pterodactyl to Fred and said, we need to have ‘a boy’s night out‘ meet me in the forest at 10pm sharp...and bring alot of those flashy shiny things with you.

Those 2 events started a Secret Society of knowledge that has been guarded by men and woman every since Eve took Wilma to the ‘Powder room‘, and every since Adam enunciated to Fred …‘A BOYS NIGHT OUT’

I would like to ask woman, is it possible that we can share the Greatest secrets ever told between the two genders.

It has been told to us men that Eve left you all a secret book and directions that has been passed down from woman to woman across the planet in secrecy every since the ‘powder room event‘. Well guess what! Adam left us instructions to, in a secret forest where trees for some reason look like stripper poles where him and Fred used to hang out on there... ‘Boys night out‘.

Today I will share with you EXCLUSIVE knowledge and secrets from the book of Adam and freds 'boy’s night out', if you share the powder room talks with me and the highly classified secrets amongst the woman.


Rule1. Don’t never ever fart in front of your man ,its not funny ,its not cute, and your man will cheat on you faster then light because of one simple spill of gas. You have 10 times in a relationship of 30 years plus to ever fart, in front of your man…and it is only acceptable if he catches you in your sleep…PERIOD!

Rule2. Learn to cook. A man should never ever have to cook dinner coming home from a hard day of work. If you do the cooking, later on , he will start cooking and he will play his role, but you have to do it first, don’t ever think a man is suppose to do the cooking first, if you start to think he has to cook, he will find some one else to do the cooking for him….Fast !

Rule3. The ‘special treatment is not just for birthdays and Christmas and when asked to. It is only right for a man to get the special treatment 12 times a month with out asking, preferably, saving 2 times when Mother Nature decides to call. If you do not or wont do that ,then most likely your man is getting some treatment and therapy from a coworker or something.

Ps. For those kids on here that think they are… SO ‘Grown‘,aand all in 'grown folks business', we are talking about birthday cakes and aromatherapy candles.

Rule4. You have only 4 times in a month to hang out with your girlfriends, if you exceed over 4,your man will start wondering ,and he will then start to exceed the limit of hanging out. So if you love your man, spend more time with him and less time texting and yakedy yakking and hanging out with your friends.

Rule5. If you talk to your friends more then you talk to him…he will cheat.

Rule6. If your man comes home limping ,or moaning or groaning ,don’t just sit there and ask that stupid question’ 'what’s wrong with you’ immediately get off your fat Ares, go get the alcohol and rube your man down ,make dinner ,run his bath water, and give him the special treatment/ birthday cake. If a man is asked a stupid question over 7,800 times in the course of 15 years, he will then find somebody else on the side that is smarter.

‘It’s The Thought That Counts’ Adam and Fred’
Chapter 23 ‘Boys Night Out‘, > ‘My back hurts‘

1. If your man works standing on his feet, he should never ever have to ask you to rub his feet.
2 times a month is all that is needed.

2. ‘If your man sits on the job, he should never have to ask you to rub his back’
Two or three times a month is all that is needed.

3. Always, tell a man you love him first. Why? Because you are the alpha of the relationship, you are the key to holding a relationship together, a man will look for 50 ‘I love you a years’, if not your man will cheat on you.

‘Thought that don’t count’ Adam Fred and Barney,
Chapter 43‘Boys night out’ ‘What barney found out about betty’


4. Don’t ever tell a man how many partners you had if its over 10,he will use you and never love you or respect you.

5.Don’t ever tell your man that you gave the speciel tretment beside to your first ,any other speciel treatment stories is not prohibited in a mans knowledge of your past.

I have shared with you woman exclusive ancient knowledge on how to keep a man happy ,and the things of what not to do that will turn them off and cause him to cheat.I cant share all of our ancient knowledge with you but can you please share with me some of the 'powder room talks'.











do you want to always feel young


Do you want to feel like your the only girl in the world?


or is it that you just want more.

youtu.be...



edit on 29-5-2011 by Immortalgemini527 because: (no reason given)
edit on 29-5-2011 by Immortalgemini527 because: (no reason given)
edit on 29-5-2011 by Immortalgemini527 because: (no reason given)
edit on 29-5-2011 by Immortalgemini527 because: (no reason given)




posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:18 PM
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Sorry, I didnt get passed the book of secrets, they also forgot to give me the instruction manuals for these kids.



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:19 PM
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In before the girls tear you a new #

seriously, if you're not being sarcastic, this is the dumbest thread I have seen to date.



And if this is an attempt at a joke, please ask the mods to place it in the appropriate forum.

Thanks.
edit on 29-5-2011 by GringoViejo because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:31 PM
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reply to post by GringoViejo
 


Couldn't agree with you more. What a sexist load of crap. I believe with an attitude like this, the OP is more than likely single and belongs to a religion that sees women as second class citizens. I'm not even going to bother, I'm in a good mood and I would like to stay that way.
edit on 29-5-2011 by sunsetatdawn because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:31 PM
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K...........

I dont get it ..........im sorry, I tried to read it but im not following, maybe its my fault i dunno but.........

My first thought...

Dont post when under the influence.........j/k

Where were you going with this?



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:34 PM
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reply to post by sunsetatdawn
 

How is it sexes,lol



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:34 PM
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And this ladies and gentlemen, is why I gave up on men! lol

Seriously hope your being sarcastic



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:35 PM
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reply to post by ManBehindTheMask
 

Woman have all types of secrets that men dont know about,i just want them to share.



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:36 PM
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Originally posted by Immortalgemini527
Rule1. Don’t never ever fart in front of your man ,its not funny ,its not cute, and your man will cheat on you faster then light because of one simple spill of gas. You have 10 times in a relationship of 30 years plus to ever fart, in front of your man…and it is only acceptable if he catch you in your sleep…PERIOD!


You know this as fact? Ehhhh wrong. So you are saying men will cheat cause a woman farted.
that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. You do realize we have the same digestive parts as you right? We DO fart. Seems you have issues with farting not the whole of man.



Rule2. Learn to cook. A man should never ever have to cook dinner coming home from a hard day of work. If you do the cooking, later on , he will start cooking and he will play his role, but you have to do it first, don’t ever think a man is suppose to do the cooking first, if you start to think he has to cook, he will find some one else to do the cooking for him….Fast !

Again are you serious?! Men can and DO cook and what about when the woman comes home from a hard day of work?? So she is suppose to cook? Wow stuck in the 50s much...

I know many couples where the wife doesn't cook and the man does. My ex and I use to argue over WHO would cook.



Rule3. The ‘special treatment is not just for birthdays and Christmas and when asked to. It is only right for a man to get the special treatment 12 times a month with out asking, preferably, saving 2 times when Mother Nature decides to call. If you do not or wont then most likely your man is getting some treatment and therapy from a coworker or something.

You are...well something the T&C's wont allow me to say. Seriously? Grow up.



Rule4. You have only 4 times in a month to hang out with your girlfriends, if you exceed over 4,your man will start wondering ,and he will then start to exceed the limit of hanging out. So if you love your man, spend more time with him and less time testing and yakedy yakking and hanging out with your friends.

WTH! Are you single? Cause if you have a gf or wife I'd like to tell her to get rid of you ASAP. You sound controlling! This is another dumb rule you have.



Rule5. If you talk to your friends more then you talk to him…he will cheat.

You are seriously delusional.



Rule6. If your man comes home limping ,or moaning or groaning ,don’t just sit there and ask that stupid question’ what’s wrong with you’ immediately get off your fat Ares, go get the alcohol and rube your man down ,make dinner ,run his bath water, and give him the special treatment/ birthday cake. If a man is asked a stupid question over 7800 times in the course of 15 years, he will then find somebody else on the side that is smarter.

WHAT "fat ares," you are borderline breaking the T&C here! So you don't want a GF or wife you want a damn maid and servant!




1. If you man works standing on his feet, he should never ever have to ask you to rub his feet.
2 times a month is all that is needed.
2. ‘If your man sits on the job, he should never have to ask you to rub his back’
Two or three times a month is all that is needed.

Wow just wow...You obviously know nothing of woman and want a slave not a partner.



3. Always, tell a man you love him first. Why? Because you are the alpha of the relationship, you are the key to holding a relationship together, a man will look for 50 ‘I love you a years’, if not your man will cheat on you.

Again you are so wrong! These are YOUR opinions and not the opinions or preferences of the entire male race.



4. Don’t ever tell a man how many partners you had if its over 10,he will use you and never love you or respect you.
5.Don’t ever tell your man that you gave the speciel tretment beside to your first ,any other speciel treatment stories is not prohibited in a mans knowledge of your past.

Number 4 is BS and so is 5. Special treatment? If you can't say it you shouldnt be doing it!



I have shared with you woman exclusive ancient knowledge on how to keep a man happy ,and the things of what not to do that will turn them off and cause him to cheat.I cant share all of our ancient knowledge with you but can you please share with me some of the 'powder room talks'.

This is NOT ancient knowledge. This sounds like some sexist man's personal choices. A man who obviously doesn't respect women.

Here is some "powder room talk"

Dont expect your women to do ANY of these things.





I am really sick of the woman bashing on this site..really getting sick of it. Funny thing is there are so many of these threads. You guys need to maybe look at YOURSELF and stop blaming women.



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:38 PM
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reply to post by Immortalgemini527
 




Sexist
–adjective
1.
pertaining to, involving, or fostering sexism: a sexist remark; sexist advertising.
–noun
2.
a person with sexist attitudes or behavior.



Origin:
1965–70; sex + -ist, on the model of racist

dictionary.reference.com...

If you are not aware of being ignorant, that does not mean you are not ignorant.



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:38 PM
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Originally posted by arriana
And this ladies and gentlemen, is why I gave up on men! lol

Seriously hope your being sarcastic


Its ancient rules amongst us men,how am i being sarcastic,you must of broke one of these rules,dont give up,just stay in your place as a woman and everything will be ok.
Its a mans world and dont ever forget that.



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:39 PM
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Originally posted by Immortalgemini527
reply to post by ManBehindTheMask
 

Woman have all types of secrets that men dont know about,i just want them to share.



guessing youre single, or will be if she reads this post...............mind telling me where youre from originally and how old you are?



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:43 PM
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Originally posted by Immortalgemini527

Originally posted by arriana
And this ladies and gentlemen, is why I gave up on men! lol

Seriously hope your being sarcastic


Its ancient rules amongst us men,how am i being sarcastic,you must of broke one of these rules,dont give up,just stay in your place as a woman and everything will be ok.
Its a mans world and dont ever forget that.


You *do* realise most of the stuff men do is to attract us ladies right? I think you need to re-evaluate your place in society.



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:43 PM
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Originally posted by Immortalgemini527
Rule1. Don’t never ever fart in front of your man ,its not funny ,its not cute, and your man will cheat on you faster then light because of one simple spill of gas. You have 10 times in a relationship of 30 years plus to ever fart, in front of your man…and it is only acceptable if he catch you in your sleep…PERIOD!

Rule2. Learn to cook. A man should never ever have to cook dinner coming home from a hard day of work. If you do the cooking, later on , he will start cooking and he will play his role, but you have to do it first, don’t ever think a man is suppose to do the cooking first, if you start to think he has to cook, he will find some one else to do the cooking for him….Fast !


Rule4. You have only 4 times in a month to hang out with your girlfriends, if you exceed over 4,your man will start wondering ,and he will then start to exceed the limit of hanging out. So if you love your man, spend more time with him and less time testing and yakedy yakking and hanging out with your friends.


1. If you man works standing on his feet, he should never ever have to ask you to rub his feet.
2 times a month is all that is needed.


Sorry to be horrid but this sounds like a cavemans wish list (for any potential girlfriends).

The thread was meant in jest though right?
edit on 29-5-2011 by Taffygirl because: grammar



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:44 PM
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reply to post by mblahnikluver
 


Thanks for that. You at least could give coherant answers to all of the most sexist, adolescent points of view, or "rules" as the op puts it. Wish I hadn't read this at all.



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:46 PM
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An attempt at humor...

To those that are reacting and taking this seriously, get help... Soon...

To the OP, better luck next time.



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:47 PM
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Originally posted by GringoViejo
In before the girls tear you a new #

seriously, if you're not being sarcastic, this is the dumbest thread I have seen to date.


i put my life on the line by telling these secrets,not just my life but man as a whole.To bad you didnt get the rules on how a woman is suppose to be,i will send you a copy...i got you !
edit on 29-5-2011 by Immortalgemini527 because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:49 PM
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Originally posted by Version100

An attempt at humor...

To those that are reacting and taking this seriously, get help... Soon...

To the OP, better luck next time.




he flat out said he was serious.............soo that theory of yours goes out the window

also this thread is about par for this particular member
edit on 29-5-2011 by ManBehindTheMask because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:49 PM
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Reply to post by Immortalgemini527
 


Wow, just wow.

Your outrageous postings are making me angry, I bet it doesn't come close to how the female members of ATS feel!

My advice is if you truly want a loving and exciting relationship, do pretty much the opposite of everything on that list.


 
Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com
 



posted on May, 29 2011 @ 05:50 PM
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ROTF !!!!

This thread had me in tears laughing !!!

Nothing personal but you sound...how can I say...

Prehistoric !!!!!!!!!!

Immortal eh?? We'll see just how long you'll remain immortal once some ladies find out about this thread.

I seriously can't believe someone still thinks this way in this day and age !

WOW !






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