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I just cant bring myself to care about anything anymore....

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posted on May, 27 2011 @ 01:23 AM
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Life has become joyless and painful. I honestly enjoy nothing about living anymore. I don't care if its a nice day outside, I don't care if my favorite team wins and I don't care if anyone speaks to me again. I have spent weeks lying in bed browsing online, watching TV and sleeping.

I've lost everything that used to be important to me and it doesn't even matter. I feel nothing. I truthfully do not want to wake up to face another day. Its just an absolute numb feeling.

If I had the balls to take my own life painlessly, Id consider it. I do know there are people that love me and I do care enough not to put them thru that type of pain. But I have wished to fall asleep and not wake up.

Everyday feels like a stormy rainy day that's not worth getting out of bed fo r.Every day feels longer and longer. I know I'm never going to be rich and ill end up working til the day I croak. What's there to be happy about?

I've given up on happiness and life in general... nothing is worth the effort required.

I'm 31 now.. I can't imagine living another 31 years like this. What can I do??

I'm not begging for sympathy, I am just not comfortable admitting this to people close to me.




posted on May, 27 2011 @ 01:38 AM
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sigh
you just described my life as well. i just turned 21, and ive lost all faith in life. i feel like i've already lived my life, i've lived in europe, had several jobs, been in and out of the military. i've been jobless for about a month and a half, my wife supports me and i live with my parents. i get up late everyday and just sit around. on average i spend about 4 hours of my day sitting outside watching the sky thinking. i haven't considered suicide because my time will come eventually, i might as well stick around to see if anything changes or not. ive noticed a growing huge corruption in government, growing tensions between religions and races, lack of friendliness from everyone, and its mind torturing. ive tried several things to get out of my funk, getting new friends, meditation, but i just really don't have enough motivation. ive spent the last 9 months researching history and religion hoping to find the hidden secret of life to somehow bring happiness back to me but im unsuccesfull.



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 01:39 AM
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reply to post by jstanthrno1
 


What do you feel you are missing, or what do you feel you need or would make you happy and bring you into joy again?

I'm sorry you are feeling so low.

And just to add, sometimes our feelings of despair come from a body lacking important nutrients. Not to downplay your feelings, but they can be magnified by a body not getting what it needs as well.



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 01:48 AM
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reply to post by kalamatas
 


I was just about to jump in and explain in detail about how my girlfriend left me a year ago and I lost everything that day and since then I have been in a similar situation where I just dont do anything and more and more dont care...

But this guy makes some sense. I never actually thought about nutrients!
I mean its obvious that Molson, Hershey, and Dominoes are not good for a man all the time, but I never actually put ANY thought into the fact that THAT may be what is causing my depression.



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 01:53 AM
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You're not alone, and what you are feeling is pretty common. You have to want to be happy to be happy in the first place. Meditation worked for me and it took atleast 4 months to get any results. I'm still in a lackluster situation, and I despise what I do for a living. Despite all this, I can honestly say I've been happier than I have ever been in 15 years. If you give up, that's the exact result you get. Hopelessness. I spent too many years wasting my thoughts on such petty things. Yeah, I dealt with unmedicated depression from 12 - 27 and that did terrible things on my personal choices in life. You can't bring me down now! In my personal opinion I am glad I never tried antidepressants either. I see where that has led alot of people I know.
edit on 27-5-2011 by religiousmurder because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 01:56 AM
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Sounds like you grew up with a skewed expectation for yourself. When everyone is pressed to be the best they can be and taught that "you can do anything" some people are going to be set up for failure.



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 01:56 AM
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Life it seems will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters, no one else

I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me but now he's gone

No one but me can save myself
But it's too late
Now I can't think
Think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though
It never existed
Death greets me warm
Now I will just say goodbye






Fits me to a T. And has for years. Sometimes it's worth it to stick around just to see how many people you can piss off to be with you.



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 01:59 AM
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reply to post by Fishticon84
 


If I ate what you just described, I'd be a mess. I have to watch what I eat very carefully, or mood takes a nosedive. Proper brain function, chemistry balance, hormone balance... requires fully functioning organs and glands and sufficient nutrients. Overloading our livers, taking in stimulants, not easting enough essential fatty acids, too much estrogen mimicking ingredients, etc etc. and you're not going to see the world as hunky dory.



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 02:01 AM
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you know the old saying...........you are what you eat

That is more true than what people know in general and possibly one of the sources of why I was depressed. (or atleast aided it)



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 02:06 AM
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reply to post by jstanthrno1
 


The early 20's depression. I went through it. I'm almost 30 now and have dropped the whole poor me act.Ps im not saying that's you guys. But in life it way to easy to focus on the crap and fall into depression when you can fall the very opposite way doing the same thing except only focusing on the good. I had to go through something i felt would destroy my life to understand its up to me to make life the way i want it. Its funny its like the second you hit rock bottom and notice it you can finally see the top of the mountain. Mountain is example of the scale in happens to sadness. If your at the bottom you can see the top and at the top you can see the bottom but in the middle its hard to see both.



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 02:06 AM
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sounds like you guys are suffering from depression.



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 02:07 AM
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reply to post by kalamatas
 


Well thank you for all that. I'm definitely going to change what I eat now.
I know for most depressed people its hard to change things in their lives, but I have this little "problem" of getting obsessed with things for a few months and then dropping them if they dont do anything for me.
So getting obsessed with eating right should prove more useful than collecting D&D books lol.



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 02:11 AM
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Seeking help from loved ones...friends and family will help(esp., if they are willing to listen).
There's more joy to be sought then you feel now, depression does that. It will put you in an endless cycle.
Please seek help and keep yourself safe.



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 02:12 AM
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reply to post by Fishticon84
 


Vitamin Bs(B6,B12) will help too! Or if not the vitamins, food rich in the vitamins.
edit on 27-5-2011 by dreamingawake because: fixed



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 02:14 AM
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Meditation with various mudras and the right audio, and occasional mantra chanting... I used to suffer bouts with bipolar, but hardly a spat anymore.



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 02:15 AM
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Originally posted by dreamingawake
reply to post by Fishticon84
 


Vitamin Bs(B6,B12) will help too!
edit on 27-5-2011 by dreamingawake because: (no reason given)


Thanx. I'll take a look at how much those are or if there's a GNC multivitamin for men that has those in it.
I wont take prescription drugs or OTC drugs, but I'll take the natural stuff... well its still pills but its better than most the other junk.



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 02:19 AM
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reply to post by Fishticon84
 


My personal triggers are sugar, chocolate, caffeine, msg, dairy, gluten, soy....mostly things that taste good. I have to remind myself frequently that it's not worth it to eat those things. I'm like you and actually am on my obsessive healthy kick now and intend NOT to drop it.

I actually started a liver cleanse last week, and it's actually boosted my mood even more so after having been eating well and exercising.

Hope you stick with it!



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 02:21 AM
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reply to post by dreamingawake
 


Right! And omega 3's and sunshine. Sunshine does wonders for me too!



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 02:29 AM
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So you want to get out of your feeling of hopelessness funk?

Run.

Yes run everyday as long as you can.

I read a story years ago about a man who had depression and was feeling hopeless.

He was going to run and then run out into traffic,get hit by a car, to save his family the grief of him committing suicide ,and after he started running he forgot about killing himself.

He was able to eventually run a marathon and got his life together.



posted on May, 27 2011 @ 02:38 AM
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reply to post by kalamatas
 


I don't know what my triggers are but I do consume a lot of sugar, chocolate, and coffee (boy do I drink a lot of coffee). I doubt there's much good foods here at the moment because we're moving next weekend so we got a bunch of junk like TV dinners so that we don't have to let good stuff spoil during the move.
But I guess I could just eat (cheap) chicken and fish until I move and make a good diet and schedule.
Its definitely better than what I eat now.
Plus I'm sure it will give me the energy I'm gonna need to move all the boxes and other junk I'd rather not do.

I just switched to tea lol, yep just now. Mainly because I ran out off coffee but talk about perfect timing



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