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Why Most Relationships Fail Right From The Beginning. (A Quantum Explanation.)

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posted on May, 26 2011 @ 09:24 AM
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I've found that it is possible to almost reprogram our minds, even when it comes to relationships. This is a nice thread and I mostly agree. It's a tough topic. A relationship can be both the best and worst experience in one's life.

I do find that most problems arise when one doesn't feel secure with themselves on some level. Of course, when one person is like this, it can reflect onto the other person, sending that negative energy, but I believe there's a way to handle this. After being in a relationship for nearly a year with the same woman, I've come to understand the psychological levels which we both work in. There is so much negative energy dwelling in there and through the learning process, I would fall into deep depression. I was overwhelmed by negative energy from her past. This was made ten times worse by my judgmental morals which were ingrained into my mind as I grew up, despite not being religious. This cynicism would be my downfall. I had been trying to "reprogram" my mind by associating positive thoughts with all things. I discovered Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which I am still reading into, but this shows that it is possible to do this reprogramming. This therapy is used for all kinds of mental illnesses, especially depression. All of this negative energy can be converted, it just takes a lot of focus. I find it horrible that we somehow seem doomed to our ideals and morals which we grow up with, religious or not. These ideals just make the negative energy many times stronger. Changing my outlook overall with positive thinking, so far, has done wonders for the relationship.




posted on May, 26 2011 @ 09:32 AM
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reply to post by Scorpitarius
 


This is very well written! It is so true that those who do not have their own piece of life force sun energy to grow towards will take the energy from those around them. Just as a garden grows.

There have been some who have come and gone from my life who were on the take right through. It's always been sort of an empty feeling when I've had to step away after trying everything to find common ground, just due to self preservation.

Good relationships make each person a better person just by being part of it.



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 09:39 AM
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First, something I want you to understand…

…we are energy beings. Every atom in our body is made of loving conscious energy, and every interaction you have is an attempt to get that energy, or give it. Atoms respond to our intentions, our beliefs. (Tai Chi, for an obvious example, is energy harvesting and manipulating that energy throughout our bodies).Since most people don’t know or understand this, they manage to steal energy from others, or unknowingly give up theirs. Some do this using aggression, like a bully in school for example. By placing the other person in fear of you, you are taking their energy. Just ask a bully how he “feels” internally when he is bullying someone, or ask the victim how they feel. Others take energy by belittling the other person. We’ve all met that person (boyfriends do this often) who constantly questions everything you are doing, then makes you feel stupid for your ideas. “Oh, if we had only done it MY way, this wouldn’t have happened.” The most common method, at least in my opinion, is the “Poor Me syndrome”, this individual steals energy from others by making others feel sorry for them. I’m sure we’ve all met that person who always has something wrong in their life to complain about, is always sick, always sad. When you feel sorry for these individuals, you are giving them your energy. The same as if you pay attention to someone who constantly brags. There are many ways that individual humans manage to steal energy from others, everyone has their own unique way, depending on how they were raised and what has worked for them since birth.




I have a sister that believes just as you do, when anyone in the family has a problem, financial, marital or health, she is GONE, says they are going to sap her energy! She is not there for her friends when they are in need...but she is always there when she NEEDS...
edit on 26-5-2011 by Char-Lee because: (no reason given)
edit on 26-5-2011 by Char-Lee because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 09:43 AM
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reply to post by SinkingSun
 

SinkingSun said,
"I've found that it is possible to almost reprogram our minds, even when it comes to relationships. This is a nice thread and I mostly agree. It's a tough topic. A relationship can be both the best and worst experience in one's life.

I do find that most problems arise when one doesn't feel secure with themselves on some level. Of course, when one person is like this, it can reflect onto the other person, sending that negative energy, but I believe there's a way to handle this. After being in a relationship for nearly a year with the same woman, I've come to understand the psychological levels which we both work in. There is so much negative energy dwelling in there and through the learning process, I would fall into deep depression. I was overwhelmed by negative energy from her past. This was made ten times worse by my judgmental morals which were ingrained into my mind as I grew up, despite not being religious. This cynicism would be my downfall. I had been trying to "reprogram" my mind by associating positive thoughts with all things. I discovered Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which I am still reading into, but this shows that it is possible to do this reprogramming. This therapy is used for all kinds of mental illnesses, especially depression. All of this negative energy can be converted, it just takes a lot of focus. I find it horrible that we somehow seem doomed to our ideals and morals which we grow up with, religious or not. These ideals just make the negative energy many times stronger. Changing my outlook overall with positive thinking, so far, has done wonders for the relationship. "


Interesting ideas to ponder here . Thank you.



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 09:43 AM
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reply to post by SinkingSun[

edit on 26-5-2011 by ladyvoyageur because: double post



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 09:44 AM
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reply to post by Illusionsaregrander
 


A beautiful response....I wouldn't change a word of it.
It's like a doctor has to know how the body functions when it is working in order to diagnose and heal a body that is not working. You can't study the sickness without knowing how we are supposed to be when not sick. The same could be said about my thread here, I feel it is important for us to know what they really are, conscious and beautiful energy beings, or souls for those that prefer; (a rose is still a rose...) in order to understand how to heal ourselves.
Absolutely true and beautiful, thank you for the comment.
Peace and One Love!



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 10:40 AM
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I agree with you, my friend. Beings of energy, this place is energy! And you know, its a pretty awesome thing when you think about it.



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 11:06 AM
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this is awesome... i recently thought about this theory without reading about it or nething. in my last relationship i felt that my gf was taking alot of my energy as she was doing so much better in life and i was doing so much worse. it is very true.



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 11:07 AM
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Originally posted by SystemResistor
Lover type relationships fail after they fail to have children, their indulgence in thier emotions eventually de-activates thier desires as there is no "result".

Its all a part of our botchy programming.
edit on 25-5-2011 by SystemResistor because: (no reason given)


Not true! My husband and I have been together twenty years and we do not have children. (By choice not because of biology) Of all of the couples we know, ours is the longest lasting and the most peaceful. After all this time we feel like we are still dating. He is my best friend and i respect and admire him today as much today as I did 20 years ago. We came to the relationship two wholes, not two broken halves seeking completion.
edit on 26-5-2011 by summerbreeze.ddp because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 11:16 AM
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reply to post by mistafaz
 

Is there a way to stop wave functions collapsing too soon? It annoys the ladies so.



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 11:25 AM
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What it boils down to is some people are a** bags and should be avoided



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 11:32 AM
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I had to damn near lose it all to figure out how to make a relationship work.

It actually is pretty easy.. Once you realize that you are 100% powerless over the actions of the person that you are in a relationship it becomes much easier.

When both parties think they can 'change' their significant other it just starts a cycle of self destructive behavior that kills a relationship. My wife still does things that used to drive me 100% nuts, but I have to remember that she is her own person.



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 11:35 AM
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reply to post by Scorpitarius
 


I don't feel my teachings are new age.

No, they’re New Age. I mean, come on: your screen name is Scorpitarius. That’s astrology run through the New Age concept-mincing machine. I'm an old dog, there ain’t too many new tricks I ain’t seen.



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 11:46 AM
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I saw one post (first page) which to me, gave the most common sense answer, and proven by my own life experiences, which spoke of "mutual dysfunction". Also, be *honest* and *aware* of WHY you are getting into a relationship with someone. I used to be wallowing in the constant instability of poverty and poverty of instability, while harboring unacknowledged undiagnosed disabilities that were greatly contributing to this. And I would try to get involved with people, whether it was a guy, or a group of like minded buffs. Totally operating on hidden motives and expectations, of, "I hope I get rescued". "I had -better- get rescued." Ohhhhhhh mmmy gawd, disaster from Mega Hell. I was unhappy, uncomfortable, hated my clothes, hated my hair, but when the other party made me feel happy with something to look forward to and live for, then I would get enough energy to "fix" further, my inner unhappy causing things. Of which never worked out that way.
See, you have to have a reasonably happy secure stable life, know yourself TRUEly, and be comfortable and confident about how you feel under your own skin and clothes AND THEN get involved with people. AND THEN.
There have been studies done, which show that people who were born to educated parents with money, who get a good healthy upbringing and quality education, and come from good genetics (high IQ and physically attractive) go on to form good marriages, friendships, and collegues, who they meet in college. But this is a no brainer to me.

What do you all think of money, status, education, upbringing and genetics (class and poverty) toward the effect upon relationships and the "energy" between people?
edit on 26-5-2011 by simone50m because: edit



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 11:55 AM
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reply to post by Scorpitarius
 


Great Post. I have found that lately being open minded about new ideas has helped me to be a happier person. I read a book called the 4 agreements that you should read if you have not yet. To me this is about people's perception of energy. We think of batteries or fuel or the sun. I can see all of that but I can feel my energy being messed up when someone belittles me or something like that, but since we cannot quantify it then we do not believe it. Look at the Harry Potter films.. basically they are inferring that to be a wizard you must control your energy... etc.. You see examples of the bad people in the movie stealing the other people's energy by scaring them or belittling them etc... anyways, forget about the haters, they have stopped learning and are likely less inclined to be open to new ideas, hopefully some of them could take one day out of their life and try to listen to what you are saying and think like you are thinking and see if it makes them feel any better. Thanks for posting.



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 12:11 PM
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To think of people as 'energy beings' makes us feel we are only just particles, random occurances and thus just molecules of proteins, DNA, and other science babble. We dont act based on chemical reactions because we are just matter, we are living souls, we have a spirit that lives within us. And we react accordingly to those who affect us negatively, by making us sad or frustrated, to those who affect us positively, by complimenting us and supporting us.

To break the human body down to its elements, takes away the fact we have an eternal soul. This goes directly against a Creation and Creator Yahuwah, and therefore makes man 'God' by saying we created our circumstances therefore we make choice cause thats all we are, just a complex structure of protons neutrons and electrons.

We don't send out energies to people, but we do send out unclean spirits that are contained within ourselves, not demons but evil spirits that affect everyone. And we can send out good clean spirits that lift up people, and bring joy to their lives and give them hope.

Revelations 16:13 "And I saw three unclean spirits like frogs come out of the mouth of the dragon, and out of the mouth of the beast, and out of the mouth of the false prophet."

We don't realize how much of our lives is affected spiritually day to day. And when we learn to acknowledge it, we can understand how to control it. Yelling at someone, or putting them down, discouraging people is sending out unclean spirits to them, if they accept them it will negatively affect them, if they don't they will not be affected. Likewise with encouragement, love, and compassion sends out clean spirits that flow from around us and if the person accepts it, will be lifted up positively. This has nothing to do with our own power, but this is a power we don't see or understand fully, where we must be cautious always how to speak to people, as that is where these spirits come from, from our words out of our mouth like Revelations states.

What happens when you are 'moved' by a song? Or what happens when someone offends you or your family and you become upset? Or when your sad and someone just hugs you and doesnt say anything? How did you become 'empowered' by that song? Or why did you suddenly become angry at that person? Why did you right away feel compassion from that person who hugged you?

When in a relationship, these days men and women want the best for each other in the beginning, but after time of knowing each other, most get annnoyed by simple quirks or habits and also get lazy over time. In the beginning the 'love birds' are together dating, having fun, talking, helping one another, and after that they now are married or permanently together, the challenge or the fight for each other is over. And the desire for one another faulters, slides, or some cases is strengthened when people become closer. People don't send out 'energy' to each other in that instance but both individuals want the same thing, companionship and love. So they both comprimise a little to get what they want. And when you get it, its not always what you thought it would be.

Don't you sometimes work very hard for something you want for weeks, months at a time and the challenge to get it is what drives you. But when you get that item, and its in your hands, don't you feel unsatisfied with it? And lost the desire for it?

The struggle is what makes us move forward. When couples are no longer striving to please each other, or impressing one another so they can choose them, they lose their desire or drive for one another. Keep that in mind that todays society has ruined alot of the reason people get together for good and stay together with fulfilling relationships.

Nowadays people are dating for years at a time, sleeping with one another, sharing homes or living together, helping pay bills, always around each other as if they were married. And what would be the point of marriage? They don't see anything different happen to them except for a ring on the finger. People have lost the preciousness of being together by having the things they shouldnt have before they are married, instead of after.

Isn't it more special when you don't know what will happen at the end of the movie? What happens when you know all the circumstances of the relationship, how each one lives their day, eats their food, works, kisses, has their habits in the bedroom etc etc. The special relationship isnt special no more, its unfulfilling.

I go by Scripture, and we were not meant to be dating or living together or making out with each other. I am talking about men and women here. If a man and women have a desire to be together, and its something they both want to explore, you get Married. No sleeping together, no kissing, no making out, no testing the car before you buy it!!! This is one of the reasons our relationships these days are unfulfilling, and failing.

Anyways theres my rambling, keep in mind we are spiritual beings who long for another half of ourselves. And real love, im not talking the butterfly feeling and stars in your eyes, I am talking Scriptural love. Doing things for each other without expect of payment back is real love. That is what our Messiah Yahuwshuwah did for us, He died for Us, doesn't want anything from us, but to love him, love others and He wants us to do. Relationships fail because the true meaning of love has been lost, that means giving, helping, compassion, forgiveness etc. When couples love each other, like Scripture wants us to do, we always have a drive to please each other as long as the love is in us. Then you never become lazy or unfulfilled.

Also woman was made for man, not the other way around. Read your Scripture. Pray for guidance, love one another, treat another kindly, tell the truth, its the key to eternal life (John 14:6).

1 Corinthians 11:8-9 "For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man."



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 12:21 PM
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reply to post by SinkingSun
 

Thank you for you comment. It's a great addition to the thread. I see a lot of similarities in what you've said and what I have gone through, or am still going through.
Peace and One Love



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 12:24 PM
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reply to post by ladyvoyageur
 

Thank you for your comment. I believe that every relationship we have ever been in has had it's purpose, even those that have caused us grief. Sometimes that purpose isn't known to us for many many years later.
Peace and One Love



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 12:26 PM
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reply to post by Char-Lee
 


This is an unfortunate example of someone who has knowledge but is using it only for self gain. This is the problem with the powers that be of this world too.
I'm sure soon her knowledge will bring her to a state where is is more selfless. Perhaps direct her to my thread here.
Peace and One Love



posted on May, 26 2011 @ 12:27 PM
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reply to post by 4Starlight2Decay0
 


You have a point there. I made the mistake when I was younger and much dumber, of getting involved with that individual who fits into the descriptions of Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Psychopaths. It's really easy now -------- to see that. (Too late though. "Youth is wasted on the young!")





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