Originally posted by AQuestion
[ In this life, in regards to relationships, we are told to experiment and find the right after finding all the wrongs. We will never find love that
way, it would be a miracle. If all you know is the false, how can you identify the truth?
You cannot appreciate the other person's range unless you understand your own and choose someone who has the same range, not greater and not less,
not the leader and not the follower, the partner. That is my take on it. Be well.
I like old people. I always have, ever since I was a little child. And what I have learned about relationships is that the people with the best
relationships are NOT the people who choose the perfect person. But the people who commit to an imperfect person, and who learn to work with what
they have, develop love that is unconditional rather than selfish and self serving, and who stick by their partner no matter what happens.
The people I know who hold hands, exchange knowing looks and stroke one anothers hair, who bathe their weaker loved one, because they cannot, these
are not people whose every day was bliss. These are people who committed to one another and stuck through the marriage even though every day was NOT
bliss. They fought, they hurt one another, they made up, they fought some more, they became bored, they issued ultimatums, but they stayed together.
I do not believe that love is the matter of finding the right person. I believe love is a matter of BEING the right person with someone who is
similarly willing to commit. It doesnt take the same range and depth. It takes a similar willingness to work, and stay, and try and try again.
I dont ask younger people who are searching for love and good relationships how to have them. Even at 6, 8, 10 I knew that to understand a thing you
asked someone who had been doing it successfully for their whole adult life.
Finding the perfect person is not what these "masters" of relationship tell me is most important. Commitment, for better or worse, in sickness and
in health, for as long as you both shall live is what they tell me is the "secret" to a long and good relationship.
When you go into a relationship thinking that it is about the other person, you are off on the wrong foot.
My two cents, borrowed from a lot of old people I know.