Why Most Relationships Fail Right From The Beginning. (A Quantum Explanation.)

First and foremost, before anyone wants to come after me for this one; This is NOT relationship advice as our society would define it, this is something about what goes on behind the scenes in a relationship that very few know about, (I’ve never met anyone in person.) Although I use the examples of a couples-type relationship, this can be applied also to friendships, workplace relationships, or anything in between. I am concentrating on the lover-type relationships because it is those relationships that are raising our children today. I cry thinking about how children are raised; what I see and hear about. I don’t think I need to, nor do I want to, go into that. But I am hoping this will help bring couples together stronger so that it may strengthen the growth of their children. If that makes sense.
Also, I’m not saying ALL relationships will fail if they don’t agree with what I say, and I’m not saying you’re in a failing relationship. If your current relationship is working smoothly, perhaps I’m not talking to you; perhaps there is the balance I am about to speak about already (I believe it can happen subconsciously). Either way, I feel all will benefit from this information, especially those of us who have had a history of unstable relationships.

First, something I want you to understand…

…we are energy beings. Every atom in our body is made of loving conscious energy, and every interaction you have is an attempt to get that energy, or give it. Atoms respond to our intentions, our beliefs. (Tai Chi, for an obvious example, is energy harvesting and manipulating that energy throughout our bodies).Since most people don’t know or understand this, they manage to steal energy from others, or unknowingly give up theirs. Some do this using aggression, like a bully in school for example. By placing the other person in fear of you, you are taking their energy. Just ask a bully how he “feels” internally when he is bullying someone, or ask the victim how they feel. Others take energy by belittling the other person. We’ve all met that person (boyfriends do this often) who constantly questions everything you are doing, then makes you feel stupid for your ideas. “Oh, if we had only done it MY way, this wouldn’t have happened.” The most common method, at least in my opinion, is the “Poor Me syndrome”, this individual steals energy from others by making others feel sorry for them. I’m sure we’ve all met that person who always has something wrong in their life to complain about, is always sick, always sad. When you feel sorry for these individuals, you are giving them your energy. The same as if you pay attention to someone who constantly brags. There are many ways that individual humans manage to steal energy from others, everyone has their own unique way, depending on how they were raised and what has worked for them since birth.

Want proof? We have all felt this energy transference. Think of the last argument you were in where you were proven wrong. How did you feel at the very moment you realized you lost the argument? Now think of an argument you’ve been in where you have proven yourself correct. How did you feel at that moment?…

…The amazing thing is; as soon as you can understand this, you can actually get your energy from other sources instead of each other, then you can work on expanding your aura of energy away from you, in the intention of increasing it in those around you. It may help to understand that the universe is a massive ocean of atoms, all interconnected with each other, all made of loving conscious energy. There is no difference between you, the monitor you are reading from and the air in between. All are atoms of conscious energy. The only difference is the frequency at which the atoms are vibrating. For example, the air you are breathing is vibrating much faster than you are, and so it is light and invisible, whereas a rock is vibrating much slower than you are, and so it is heavy and dense. You can picture the universe like a glass of water, every drop in that glass is it’s own individual drop, but each drop is also part of the entire body of water. The universe is one massive ocean of loving conscious energy. Once you understand this, you can gain energy any time, without harming others.

Source
The above information is detrimental, beyond ANY doubt, to obtaining a successful relationship. I’ll explain why…

The first part of the problem is that most people are unaware of their own energy, in the sense I’m talking about it. When you don’t know about it, it’s hard to have a good balance, and it’s even harder to maintain higher levels of the energy you are made of. This is why it’s harder to maintain a positive attitude or emotions. This is why most people have zero control of their emotions. (No, sigh, I’m NOT saying that we should keep our emotions bottled up and stored away for later…I mean no self control during emotional floods.) Most of us enter into new relationships without having any control of our own energies and therefore our emotions.

So what happens in a new relationship then?
Once the initial attraction has begun and been reciprocated, each member of the new relationship wants to gain the approval of the other. We do this by sending the other individual some of our own energy. A man might (and I stress “might”) hold the door open or pull out a chair, buy flowers or cook, the list is endless. A woman might compliment or send messages that she feels secure around him, flirt with him. I know these examples are extremely cliché, and I know not all relationships consist of one male and one female. The point is to try and bring you back to that moment of the beginning stages of a relationship, and the things you did for that new partner. Think of the emotional vibes you sent their way, the flirting vibes. Throughout the beginning of that relationship, in many many different ways, you were willingly sending energy to one another.

So what happens, where does it start to fail?
Eventually, as we grow used to each other, we start to send each other a little less energy, for others perhaps a LOT less energy. But we’ve grown addicted to the other person’s energy and we start to EXPECT them to give it to us like they have been. This is where the struggles start. Each member of the relationship is sending less energy to the other, but demanding more. Someone has to give, and often it will end in becoming the first “argument” of the relationship, and often this is the point where the dominant of the two will be established; the one who’s method of stealing energy is stronger than the others, will be the dominant.

Here I feel it’s important to explain something slightly off topic, though which does help to illustrate a little further, I suppose. We are energy beings, neither of us are purely male or female energy. If we could tap into the beings we are, we would be neither male nor female, but both; every atom consists of male and female energy, positive or negative (and I don’t mean good or bad). That being said, I will say that men have “activated” (for lack of a better word, and I really DO need a better word here) primarily the male energy of their being while women have “activated” primarily the female energy. (And yes, I know there will be many exceptions contrary to what I’m saying. Some men use mostly female and visa versa.) Male energy is outgoing, penetrating, forceful, (the sun is a male energy) while female energy is accepting, comforting and nurturing (the leaves of a plant are a female energy, the leaf is penetrated by the branch and the rays of the sun.)
When a male’s energy is out of balance, he will become aggressive and forceful, often getting in fights or other such acts of violence. When a female’s energy is out of balance, she will not be nurturing, but rather will be angry at everything the partner does, even if she can’t rationalize it. Of course there are many many other examples, every individual will have their own methods, my examples serve only to give you some example of what to look for in yourself.

So after the initial settlement of who’s method of controlling the energy of the relationship prevails, if the relationship doesn’t end here, you can see the type of relationship where one party is unhappy and submissive while the other party is not respecting of the first, but instead acting more like a leach. I’m sure we can all think of someone we know who is with a partner we feel they should leave; someone loyal to their partner, always bending over backwards to please their partner even though their partner treats them like hell, cheats on them and/ or physically or mentally abuses them. In fact, it might even be hard to find a relationship that isn’t this way.

So what’s the solution?
I believe we have all been conditioned to react in as negative a manner as possible to the energies around us; at least to a certain degree. There is a lot of unwarranted jealousy in most relationships (I know sometimes it is warranted). There is a lot of getting mad at the other individual for minor reasons, or reasons that don’t make sense. There is a lot of demeaning and belittling of your partner, and most of all, and most powerful, there is a LOT of selfishness and inconsideration towards your partner. This is ALL because of a lack of flow of natural energy, your constant hunt for energy, any way you can get it.

The solution is that first, before you get involved in a relationship, you need to make sure you are independent in your energy sources. There are an infinite number of ways to do this, but the first step is believing that you, along with everything in the universe, is pure energy, everything in existence is an expression of that energy, varying only in frequency; and you need to believe that you can fulfill your energy supply without robbing others of it.
Once you’ve done this, you can develop your own way to harvest energy from the unlimited pool which is the universe. An easy route would probably be to study Tai Chi. I’ve never practiced it myself, but have studied it’s techniques and have heard nothing but results. Tai Chi, translated, means harvesting energy. The body movements are coupled with visionary techniques and breathing techniques to help you harvest and manipulate energy throughout your body. Martial arts practitioners can pin point this energy, which is how you will see a karateka hit a pile of 8 cinder blocks, claiming to break only the 5th block, and the 5th breaks. He has directed the flow of energy from his body to his fist, then to the fifth block.
You can also try many of an infinite number of meditation techniques.

Myself, I just envision something I truly love, like my son or my wife; you can picture a plant, a vacation spot, whatever you truly love. I carry this love and extend it to all I see. I love every person I see, I love every tree, every building, every bird. (I understand a lot of you will think this is dumb or not understand it, but it’s what works for me.) Everything in existence is energy, and the best vibration for energy is that of love. Loving all of existence fills me with energy. Sometimes I just look in the eyes of people I walk past and see them for the energy beings, spirits, they are; loving them. I have envisioned that every atom in the rays of the sun, or every drop of rain, that beats on my skin is filling me with energy.

These are suggestions, but only you will know and find what works for you. It may be praying to God to fill you with his spirit, it may be lighting candles and incense to set the mood and meditating. Find your way to connect to your truth and your God, the true God.
When you have control of your energies, you have control of your emotions. Not that you are controlling them and willing them away, but you realize that anger is just a way to manipulate energy from others, and that you are the only one allowing yourself to get angry. So you don’t get angry. You start to realize your own techniques for stealing energy from others, and you can stop doing it.

When you’ve done this, then you are ready to be in a relationship; ideally with someone who has also gained control of their energies. You can come into a relationship as half a circle, your partner as another half. Together you are a full circle; but are dependent on the other to be whole. Instead, you should enter a relationship as a whole circle, joining with another full circle, so that together you are a strong, impenetrable bond, but apart you are still whole.

If you and your partner are both able to harvest energy from all that is, you can then start practicing giving each other energy as you each harvest it. But that’s another topic all together.

I hope this helps;
Peace and One Love.

reply to post by Scorpitarius


I would actually use this entire post as an example of why relationships fail.

When people start saying crazy crap to comfort themselves death is never to far behind.

I agree completely!

I don't know what else to say but I had to say I completely understand and i don't think you are nuts or weird. It makes sense and it is basically what I tell people.


I have had relationships where i felt the other suck the life out of me basically at times but I did let them until I realized they were "toxic" for me.

I think people also need to learn to compromise and communicate in relationships. I think all of it goes together.


I really enjoyed this thank you.

Here's how to find a successful relationship:

-Meet someone who you have a few common interests with, but by all means DO NOT have everything in common with that person. You'll only grow bored of one another, as your life becomes mundane and routine. Find some interesting aspect of what she likes to do, and she'll likely oblige you and return the favor.

-Make sure they don't annoy you. People very very seldom change. If they annoy you now, they will annoy you in the future. In fact; take the most annoying trait about this person and multiply it times 10. That's how much this little quirk will bother you in 5-10 years.

-Be spontaneous. This goes for sex, vacations, dates, whatever. Once you begin to scedule you're life, you've already begun to remove the spark in the relationship, and have replaced it with a spot in your day planner.

-Live together for a year before getting married. You can never EVER know someone you haven't lived with for at least a year. Running off and getting married 2 weeks after meeting Jessica at Cousin Kendal's wedding is dumb. Sure people have been able to pull off long and happy eloping marriages, but people also win the mega lottery. Besides; if it'll work out after 2 weeks, it'll work out after 12 months. What's the rush?

-If you want kids and the other party doesn't [or vice versa] get out of the relationship, no matter how much you love them. You're only headed for a lifetime of resentment in the future, and it isn't fair to you or them. Once you know you're serious, children should be the first topic discussed.

-[This is for my boys] If she asks you if she looks fat in an outfit, tell her the TRUTH. Her initial response may be to get pissed and put you into a knuckle induced coma, but she'll be even more pissed if she discovers she indeed does look fat once your outing pics hit facebook. She may not want to hear that the $200 skirt she picked up isn't working out, but she'd rather hear that than be immortalized and tagged for all to see on some social networking site.

-[This is for the ladies] Every man needs 30mins to an hour a day killing people online. This keeps him from killing people in the real world. You can take the man out of the cave, but you can't take away his need to decimate god's creatures whether they be living or pixelated.

That about sums it up.

reply to post by Scorpitarius


Dear Scorpitarius,

I do apologize; but, I absolutely disagree. I think you have done a wonderful job of attempting to explain your position; but, we disagree on the nature of things and therefore the solution. I do not believe we are energy, that is a material explanation of consciousness, that doesn't work for me. We are emotional beings, our hearts are emotions, our sentience is of changing emotions, not energy, that is a byproduct. We live in emotions, hopefully we control them with our minds. We do not steal or deny energy from one another, we impact others emotions as we show love or deny it and only show wants. Our opinions are not that different but the conclusion is because we start from different places.

The solution is to be with people who are growing at a similar place, others that have learned to love as we love. In that way we increase love together because neither gets more unless we both learn together. I like my description, yours is pretty good too; but, I believe mine is more defensible. I can prove we are emotional beings. But, you know you are and that we all are.

reply to post by Scorpitarius

Which bit of that explanation was the quantum part then?

I was expecting to see mutual attraction explained through particle-wave duality, the quantum electrodynamics of dating, a relative evaluation of sex according to the one-slit and two-slit methods and Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle applied to the whereabouts of the loved one after 10pm. Instead, I find some New Age witter about energy beings and energy thieves, without any explanation of what energy is being talked about, and nary a mention of Einstein, Bohr, Fermi or Feynman.

Disappointing, so say the least. Where’s the quantum beef?

Great thread mate, great info that everyone should read, absorb and understand.

It is quite hard though when one person in a relaionship understands and accepts such ideals, but the other doesnt. This can lead to a greater imbalance and difficulties.

S&F

reply to post by srsen

It is quite hard though when one person in a relaionship understands and accepts such ideals, but the other doesn't. This can lead to a greater imbalance and difficulties.

Meaning a head full of New Age fluff is an impediment to any meaningful adult relationship? Sounds about right.

I think most relationships fail because they are based on mutual dysfunction, and are opportunities to grow and become more healthy, and the simple fact is that lots of people dont really want to do that.

If one does, the other may not, both may start out wanting it, and one may slip into further dysfunction. Relationships done well are hard work, and they can totally transform you in wonderful ways. Lots of people are pure hedonists, and they avoid hard work and growth at all costs, no matter what they say.

Originally posted by Illusionsaregrander
I think most relationships fail because they are based on mutual dysfunction, and are opportunities to grow and become more healthy, and the simple fact is that lots of people dont really want to do that.

If one does, the other may not, both may start out wanting it, and one may slip into further dysfunction. Relationships done well are hard work, and they can totally transform you in wonderful ways. Lots of people are pure hedonists, and they avoid hard work and growth at all costs, no matter what they say.

Dear illusionsaregrander,

The way they teach people in the Treasury department to spot funny money (forgeries) is to teach them about the real thing first. You start with the way the paper is made, the ink is made, the plates are made and how the money is made. Once you know the real thing then you cannot be fooled. In this life, in regards to relationships, we are told to experiment and find the right after finding all the wrongs. We will never find love that way, it would be a miracle. If all you know is the false, how can you identify the truth?

You cannot appreciate the other person's range unless you understand your own and choose someone who has the same range, not greater and not less, not the leader and not the follower, the partner. That is my take on it. Be well.

reply to post by Mactire


^^^^
This.

and... be casual, be cool. Be friends.

Reconcile arguments before the day ends.

Lover type relationships fail after they fail to have children, their indulgence in thier emotions eventually de-activates thier desires as there is no "result".

Its all a part of our botchy programming.

reply to post by Scorpitarius


Love is energy, it fuels our lives just as any other emotion does, it's so much energy we become it in the physical form. As we age, it is very evident who is in love with someone and nothing else controls them. I remember that love is our greatest gift. Or if the relationship has gone awry and emotions created manifested into energy and the anger, disappointment, respect, laziness it all manifests in who we are.
In a quantum way, what if it all is an emotional existence of the energy, the universe may feel as we do...like we do. The beauty the ugly, I would struggle to say humans are the most unconscionable with natures wrath being known.

I'm trying to see where the "Quantum Explanation" is a referenced in the OP. I was hoping to hear something about wave function collapses that occur, after a night out of heavy drinking, waking up with what you came home with that night. Since you were too drunk you were in no position to be an "observer" and take any sensible measurement, the moment of collapse usually makes one wish they were in any of the other "many worlds."

There is basically one function in a relationship that can break it or make it.... its not love, its not trust, its not anything else other than one thing, the rest fall into place... and that is...

Communication

If one is unable to comfortably communicate with another, especially in a relationship, then there is something else that would be keeping them together that is not 100% genuine.

Through communication, in whatever form you're comfortable with, will send your other half the necessary information on a conscious and subconscious level the rest of said emotions.

If there is a breakdown in communication, such as keeping things and opinions to oneself, it can lead to other conflicts. Conflicts can be resolved through communication of course, so is one is open to talk to their partner about anything and everything, the relationship is destined to succeed

reply to post by Scorpitarius


A interesting and very simple way of looking at it, but sometimes the simplest ways are the best, and there is no need to complicate matters to much with to many rules and laws. I would think you can call that quantum but only if there is another particle out there that see it as you do, for any quantum locking to be going on.

Originally posted by Scorpitarius
First and foremost, before anyone wants to come after me for this one; This is NOT relationship advice as our society would define it, this is something about what goes on behind the scenes in a relationship that very few know about,

reply to post by Mactire

-[This is for the ladies] Every man needs 30mins to an hour a day killing people online. This keeps him from killing people in the real world. You can take the man out of the cave, but you can't take away his need to decimate god's creatures whether they be living or pixelated.

You know that sounds like some good practical advice to me, exempt the last part I am thinking about 1 hour a day killing people online is required, and then another hour would be required on planing how to kill those people online and also any zombies that show up. That should keep anybody pretty sane and occupied and not get any urges to go out of the cave and look for livelier targets, which would lead to troubles no doubt.

Nice post and I agree with you for the most part. Most people are oblivious to the energy exchange that goes on between all of us and all things. Here is an article I think some will enjoy, it expands on what you are saying:

To understand the sharing principle, one must look upon all persons as units of desire energy. Each person, male and female, possesses one unit each of solar plexus energy; this is the energy of desire and romantic love. The sharing of this energy must be carefully regulated by law because the wrong dispersal of it creates many of the negative emotions, feelings, and actions of mankind. Feelings of jealousy, anger, and emptiness primarily result when this law is broken and those who suffer these feelings usually have no idea as to the root cause.

Each person possesses one unit of desire energy. As long as he or she maintains a complete and full unit of this energy, he will not be afflicted with jealousy, anger or emptiness. For instance, if a person has little association with or desire for the opposite sex and is content to be alone and keep this unit of desire energy all to himself, he will maintain the one unit within him and not suffer jealousy, anger or emptiness because of relationships. When, however, he meets a potential mate he likes, sends out desire energy, and develops a romantic love toward him or her, he finds that he is no longer a complete energy unit. To be complete, the female must send to him the same amount of desire energy that he sends to her. If he does not receive it, he will feel unbalanced and will be forced, sooner or later, by his nature to take his energy back and once again become stable.

Read the whole article: www.freeread.com...

reply to post by Scorpitarius


OP, I think your post is very interesting and I agree completely.

Thanks for sharing your ideas.