Not All Men & Women are evil- stop being a basher

I have seen a growing trend around ATS lately of many women bashing threads, a lot of which contain some pretty horrid, disrespectful and outdated stuff to say the least and quite frankly I’m getting tired of them. Lets make things pretty clear here, not ALL women are attention seeking, manipulative, . Just the same as not ALL men are jerks to put it mildly, to make such assumptions makes the poster appear small minded and fickle to say the least. However I digress, the reason for my post? I am curious about how someone (notice I said someone and not man/women) gets such hateful views of the opposite sex, what forms these thoughts in someone’s mind? What creates the chauvinist?

First off let’s get the proper meaning of chauvinist both male and female:

Chauvinism ( /ˈʃoʊvɪnɪzəm/), in its original and primary meaning, is an exaggerated, bellicose patriotism and a belief in national superiority and glory.[1] By extension it has come to include an extreme and unreasoning partisanship on behalf of any group to which one belongs, especially when the partisanship includes malice and hatred towards rival groups. Jingoism is the British parallel form of this French word, when referring to nation.[1] A contemporary use of the term in English is in the phrase male chauvinism.[2] Because "chauvinism" is most often heard in this context, it is often mistakenly believed to refer exclusively to "male chauvinism" such as anti-feminism and sexism.

Male chauvinism was studied in the psychoanalytic therapy of 11 men. It refers to the maintenance of fixed beliefs and attitudes of male superiority, associated with overt or covert depreciation of women. Challenging chauvinist attitudes often results in anxiety or other symptoms. It is frequently not investigated in psychotherapy because it is ego-syntonic, parallels cultural attitudes, and because therapists often share similar bias or neurotic conflict. Chauvinism was found to represent an attempt to ward off anxiety and shame arising from one or more of four prime sources: unresolved infantile strivings and regressive wishes, hostile envy of women, oedipal anxiety, and power and dependency conflicts related to masculine self-esteem. Mothers were more important than fathers in the development of chauvinism, and resolution was sometimes associated with decompensation in wives.[3]

Female chauvinism is a less commonly used term used to describe the symmetrical attitude that women are superior to men. The term female chauvinism has been adopted by critics of some types or aspects of feminism; leading second-wave feminist Betty Friedan being a notable example.[4] Ariel Levy used the term in similar, but opposite sense in her book, Female Chauvinist Pigs, in which she argues that many young women in the United States and beyond are replicating male chauvinism and older misogynist stereotypes.

source

Now clearly both sexes can be chauvinist……not just men not just women!!. i think society as a whole have a lot to answer for when it comes to both this and sexism ( which btw is different), women are portrayed a certain way (as are men) and both are expected to live like that and think like that. Society deems that a woman needs to be looked after, cared for, and protected, in the same way society also portrays guys as needing to be strong, the provider, the protector. In this day and age this is null and void. In my eyes this is stereotypical and taught from a very young age. Chauvinism seems to represent an attempt by someone who suffers anxiety and shame arising from one or more of four prime sources: unresolved infantile strivings and regressive wishes, hostile envy of women/men, oedipal anxiety, and in the case of men power and dependency conflicts related to masculine self-esteem. I think that Mothers were more important than fathers in the development of chauvinism, and this can cause a decompensation in wives or husbands.

People need to realize that not all men/women are the same, stop bashing us all into one big convenient basket. I think one of the problems that arise is that people fear change, men ( or I should say some men I don’t want to generalize) for example don’t like to be spoken back to , they don’t like to be disagreed with, they feel that they are superior to women because they are stronger, wiser, protector and whatever. Women (some) are just as bad as men though. But you can’t go through life classifying people, I don’t go through life blaming ALL men for the way a past partner treated me, I don’t blame ALL men because of the way my dad was, I don’t BLAME all men for my bad experiences. What really annoyed me in some posts is that women are deemed as manipulators, uncaring, wimpy, evil, whores, etc etc etc my question is this, are men not exactly the same thing as women are? We can all manipulate, we can all be wimpy, we can all be evil (to an extent) and yes we can all be whores! Men are just as bad yet the women get the bad names for it? In today’s society that is a cop out. SOME men need to take their own advice and views they have about women and apply it to their own lives (same can be said in the opposite direction).

What is the point in this apparent rant? Im sick and tired of people degrading each other with stereotypical views, blaming each other for their bad experiences, basically stop making everyone else a scape goat because your life sucks, or u were dumped or whatever bad thing happened between you and your ex/parents/teachers/so on and so forth. Not one person on this planet is better than the other, not one person on this planet is superior than the other, we are just all different, and that my friend is a very good thing.

Just SMILE and be happy, there is always something to smile about in life you just have to go and look.

reply to post by ronishia


Agreed agreed AGREED!

There is a heck of a lot of woman bashing on here than male bashing..It is a bit much imo.

I have nothing more to say because I AGREE 100% with you!

Ok. Just a two word reply here . `Penis envy`. kk puffs on pipe and shuts up,

Originally posted by bluemooone2
Ok. Just a two word reply here . `Penis envy`. kk puffs on pipe and shuts up,

huni i cant envy what i dont have plus i wouldnt be comfortabel sitting on bits everytime i relax

reply to post by ronishia

I think its a matter of cultural upbringing and the stereotypical views that are thrust on to us via media and environment..
Some people see the other sex as the enemy others see it as a challenge to be over come.(i dont )
Both these views are wrong
We are all here, now being part of this great planet, we need to get on better, regardless of colour race religion or sex.
We are all in this together..

reply to post by ronishia


Why are you out of the kitchen??
Get back in there!!



Seriously though...nice thread.


I think it is normal to vent a little here and there but the way people vent is a little over the top in my opinion.
Its ok for them to voice their opinion,I just wish it was done a bit more tastefully with more well thought out arguments.

Originally posted by DrumsRfun
reply to post by ronishia

 

I think it is normal to vent a little here and there but the way people vent is a little over the top in my opinion.
Its ok for them to voice their opinion,I just wish it was done a bit more tastefully with more well thought out arguments.

il let the 1st bit slide lol and exactly it is perfectly normal to have a vent , healthy even. but to go into full scale banshee looking froth at the mouth kinda state is just silly. and theirs no need to shove everyone into the same category!

reply to post by Envious


You make NO sense...

Are you off your meds?

Did someone let you out of your room?

Do they know you are roaming free?




for the record...ewwwww

Originally posted by Envious

Proof of female shallowness.

no its proof of how shallow a mind you have really. id appriciate if you didnt derail my thread tyvm

to quote one of my favorite singers

dont worry bout a ting, coz every lil ting gonna be alright - bob marley

Originally posted by ronishia
I am curious about how someone (notice I said someone and not man/women) gets such hateful views of the opposite sex, what forms these thoughts in someone’s mind?

Honestly, because some people, men and women alike get hooked up in a relationship with a person they are not compatible with and rather than just walk away when it becomes evident that they are not compatible they fight for their right to be in a "bad" relationship, then turn around and blame the other person. They think it's the other person's fault because the other person refused to change for THEM and see things THEIR way or do what THEY wanted. Don't get me wrong I've had my fair share of BAD and I mean BAD relationships, and I walked away from them with the knowledge of what I DIDN'T want anymore. I take 50% of the blame for every failed relationship I've had because it takes TWO to make it or break it. The bashers instead lay 100% blame on the opposite sex for every failed relationship they have ever had and hold on to the anger rather than learn form their mistakes and move on. Don't get me wrong I've bashed an ex or 2 maybe 3 in my time but I refuse to lay the blame on ALL MEN begin such and such because my ex was this way, just because my ex treated me like garbage, locked me up in the house, kept me in seclusion from my family and friends does not mean ALL MEN are going to do that!! If I thought that way I would never have found the man I am with today, he's a great guy, yea he has his moments where sometimes I mumble " blah you men are all a like, big babies!" but at the end of the day he does not mistreat me, abuse me or keep me locked up in the house, if I lumped all men into my past experiences with men then I wouldn't be where I am today, I'd be a lonely, man hating, bitter old hag out to bash any man who got in my way.

Originally posted by mblahnikluver
reply to post by ronishia

 

Agreed agreed AGREED!

There is a heck of a lot of woman bashing on here than male bashing..It is a bit much imo.

I have nothing more to say because I AGREE 100% with you!

edit on 5/25/2011 by mblahnikluver because: grammar

I don't think he was talking about ATS specifically.

I run into women sexists just as much as men... They definitely exists, and the sad part is... they perpetuate males to be sexists, and vice versa.

They give each other feul to hate each other, so it will never end with those types that are succeptible to those tropes...

Originally posted by Envious
post removed by staff

PROOF of how some people can't let go of the anger and learn from their past mistakes!!!!! Just let go of your anger towards whoever wronged you and MOVE ON with life and learn to be happy!!!!

reply to post by Jubes


agreed at the end of the day we all partake in a little jesting with each other but there has to be a line that you dont cross, i feel for the people who have such deep rooted anger towards the opposite sex.

Originally posted by Laokin

she**
and agreed both sides are just as bad as each other,

reply to post by ronishia


Good for bringing this up!

There has always been lot of penis masturbating and lots of sexism on here! How ironic that it's the last place you'd expected it because people on here are "supposed" to be open-minded and evolved enough human beings to take it to the next level. I guess it has to do with the typical immature demographic flooding the net, but still, what a shame!!

I find it funny how this generation is even more BACKWARD then the past ones, in spite of all the information and technology that it's pampered with. Well, that's the "porn" generation for you.

It's not that the feminist movement should've never happened, is that it would've sure encounter a backlash that would make it seem problematic.

The problem is the system paradigm we live in. It's a "dominant vs dominated" paradigm. As long as we have people that need to build themselves at the expense of others, this conflict will never ends. This paradigm is especially consolidated by the "male" ego. Misogyny only breeds misandry.

Having said that, maybe this whole gender war will help the population reduction agenda after all.

Originally posted by Exv8densez
reply to post by ronishia

 

There has always been lot of penis masturbating and lots of sexism on here! How ironic that it's the last place you'd expected it because people on here are "supposed" to be open-minded and evolved enough human beings to take it to the next level. I guess it has to do with the typical immature demographic flooding the net, but still, what a shame!!

I find it funny how this generation is even more BACKWARD then the past ones, in spite of all the information and technology that it's pampered with. Well, that's the "porn" generation for you.

The problem is the system paradigm we live in. It's a "dominant vs dominated" paradigm. As long as we have people that need to build themselves at the expense of others, this conflict will never ends.

you actually made some good points in your post, ego has alot of answer for i think, some people have been used to having their ego's pandered to, their every need pandered to and when they meet someone who refuses to do this because of their own independence they cant seem to comprehend it, they dont understand on a deep level why this person doesn't treat them like god. i detest peoples superiority tbh, or god like complex as i call it.

in a way past times i suppose would be seen as better and more straightforward to a lot of people but the problem comes in when they have to realize that times are changed, some, just seem to want to cling to past ideals. but change in itself has brought problems i think, now for example more women are becoming independent, holding high power jobs, more likly to defend themselves against abuse and mens demeaning behavior and for some reason some men just dont like this , again its a superiority thing i think, alot to do with the way they were raised and media influences.

both men and women need to realize that the hate has to stop at some point, get to grips with the fact that as different as we are in a lot of ways we all have the same goals in life.

stop treating each other on the bias of passed failed relationships with a partner/parent/friend/teacher/ and such , its not healthy and its certainly not fair. one tip to take outta all this, always find something to smile about each day, it changes your whole outlook on life and makes the day a better one.