Is it fair to bring another child into the World?

I ask this because my wife and I are thinking of children, but with the way things are going in the World today, is it fair to bring another child into the World?

Our Background:

We have been together for 7 years, she is Korean and I am Canadian. We met in Korea.

We are financially stable and could retire tomorrow if necessary. We have 3 children from previous marriages but not of our own and of course would like to start our own family together.

Yes, we are very much in love and we even work together. We love the food service industry and truly enjoy cooking/baking for our customers. We teach baking skills and Gluten-Free Baking as well. Many ask why we don't have kids.

I know our background doesn't matter when it comes to the state of the World but there it is. It does however, come into play when considering children. IMO

We have discussed this back and forth while always coming to the question of whether it's fair to a child to be brought into a World that is clearly not getting better any time soon.

We have a place in the Country away from the cities and could survive in a SHTF scenario of a certain level if need be. Water, food, tools, weapons. land and so on.

But...is it fair to a child to inherit what we have destroyed and to come into a World that could very well be a daily struggle to survive?

I appreciate that no one knows what is going to happen but if the possibility of a complete break down of society is looming larger everyday, is it fair to bring another life into the World when my wife and I cannot guarantee a safe and happy existence? After all, that is the thing parents truly want for their kids.

So I thought I'd put it out there and ask what other people think. And no, your answers won't make this decision for us. But it may give us more points to consider that we haven't thought of as we are emotionally invested in this so unbiased opinions can be valuable. Maybe some of you are thinking the same thing?

Forgot to mention that Yes, we have been leaning towards adoption as there are enough children with no parents but it is increasingly difficult to adopt. Doesn't matter what you do and the costs can take away from the security we could give.

Definitely a Catch 22

Any input would be appreciated.

Thanks

That's a very tough and personal choice. Many would and many wouldn't for a myriad of different reasons. Just think long and hard before you decide. Good luck to you.

Originally posted by Night Star
That's a very tough and personal choice. Many would and many wouldn't for a myriad of different reasons. Just think long and hard before you decide. Good luck to you.

We have been thinking for a few years and although we are not arguing the point (we both agree and disagree on the reasoning) we are still putting it off.

That's why I decided to ask the question. Maybe we're missing something that could make the difference. It shouldn't be this difficult of a decision but because of where the World is at, it has become so.

Thanx

I think it is, give the child a chance to experience life. There are many amazing places to see and adventures to take. Plus, who's to say he/she wont grow up successful in life and make out pretty good? Perhaps, the economy will get better by then. We don't know, that's the beauty of it.. I say go for it

reply to post by jude11


How many children have each of you sired? I'm assuming one of you have 2 and the other 1.

Although the ultimate decision lays with you both, get some feedback and ask the other children how they would feel about it......

Hello friend

I'm fairly young and have a son who is now 5 and I think to myself all the time what a crazy world he has been brought into. We live in a very interesting time were many things are happening good and bad all at an increasing rate. I often wonder what the future holds for him and all of us. My wife talks all the time about having another child, but the way the world has been lately I don't think I could go through with it. Not right now anyway. On the other hand though having him in my life has absolutely changed my life for the better and couldn't imagine living in a world without him. I don't really have a definite answer for you I guess it all comes down to just how you feel.

Have a good night

If you have the means to be able to take care of a child it is one of those wondrous things in life. The only thing is get your mind right cause your relationship will never be the same again. It will go from one and two to a plus one and or plus many. Be prepared for everything that comes along with that, and have the mindset that you are now going to have a huge responsibility that is not going to go away once you make the decision. If you can't decide my personal opinion is get her a dog and or a cat, even a fish or a bird, but not a baby. Any doubt leave without as they say. But as already pointed out it is a very personal opinion and it is very fare to bring a child into the world. Seeing the birth of my niece and nephew is one of the most life changing things that has ever happened to me.

The ultimate decision is yours, I know I regret it sometimes, but life is what it is, and unlike what one poster commented on - economy will get better - it will NOT. Things are never finite, neither are resources, populations, etc, in a finite world. At the very least living will become a lot tougher in the future. What does the future hold? No one knows, but the past can be used as a good guide. However, given this, it once again becomes a personal choice that you and your wife ultimately have to live with.

Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by jude11

 

How many children have each of you sired? I'm assuming one of you have 2 and the other 1.

Although the ultimate decision lays with you both, get some feedback and ask the other children how they would feel about it......

2 for my wife and 1 for me (I think)

A good idea but being that they are all on their own, this our life now and we know that they are accepting of us together. So lucky.

Thanx

I am having the same thoughts. I have come to no conclusion either. The only difference being I have no children at all yet.

It's a thought I am having a lot of trouble siding one way or the other. I still have time to stew over it a little more and see where the world goes in the next 5 years or so.

There is no doubt that the child will be loved and finances arn't a problem. We just don't know what the future will hold and wether or not when the child grows into adulthood, what that world will be like for him/her. That's just it, none of us know for sure. You can have that child, nurture it and love it and hope for the best as all parents do when having a child.

My wife and I are against reproducing (not in a judgmental way) and recommend adopting for those who are interested in raising a child.

And here is a link to a group with extreme views on the matter: The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement

PTX

Originally posted by Golithion
If you have the means to be able to take care of a child it is one of those wondrous things in life. The only thing is get your mind right cause your relationship will never be the same again. It will go from one and two to a plus one and or plus many. Be prepared for everything that comes along with that, and have the mindset that you are now going to have a huge responsibility that is not going to go away once you make the decision. If you can't decide my personal opinion is get her a dog and or a cat, even a fish or a bird, but not a baby. Any doubt leave without as they say. But as already pointed out it is a very personal opinion and it is very fare to bring a child into the world. Seeing the birth of my niece and nephew is one of the most life changing things that has ever happened to me.

I appreciate that but my wife is the most loving and giving woman I have ever met so no doubt there. I also have many qualities to give I believe.

BTW, she's allergic to cats so that won't work.

We are both sure that we can give a lot to a child so that's not of concern to either of us. It's the future that we are concerned about. Seeing a child suffering because of what the World has become is the issue for us.

Thanx

When my husband and I were younger it was easy enough for us to decide against having children, but then again we always struggled financially and life was never easy for us. To bring a child into the world and have to deny it so many things would have broke our hearts. And seeing the world as it is today, we have no regrets. We pour our love into our neices and nephews and their children. We had pets instead.

Originally posted by Night Star
There is no doubt that the child will be loved and finances arn't a problem. We just don't know what the future will hold and wether or not when the child grows into adulthood, what that world will be like for him/her. That's just it, none of us know for sure. You can have that child, nurture it and love it and hope for the best as all parents do when having a child.

From a pure logical perspective it will not get any better - nothing gets "better" in a finite world (finite resources and physical size) when consumption, money, demand, population growth, etc. all mimic exponential growth functions. Two things either happen - we find a miracle energy source, learn to get along and migrate to other planets, or we enter some catastrophic era where man or nature thins the herd. I'm not too optimistic about the former...

Originally posted by Planet teleX
My wife and I are against reproducing (not in a judgmental way) and recommend adopting for those who are interested in raising a child.

And here is a link to a group with extreme views on the matter: The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement

PTX

I forgot to mention that we are also considering adoption. I'll have to add that to the post.

Yes, we have been leaning towards adoption as there are enough children with no parents but it is increasingly difficult to adopt. Doesn't matter what you do.

Thanx

reply to post by jude11


That is the worse thing you can do to yourselves in this situation is try to predict the future. Heck I don't even think god can predict it. But believe you me with your guidance and hers by the sounds of it you have nothing to fear. Teach the kid everything you know and will get along in the world just fine.

Dude, I''m a 14 year old kid and every day I fear my time in this world being cut short. It has became a phobia or obsession for me. I'm terrified of the world literally ending, maybe adoption is for you. Never count an opinion out. Peace.

I am the father of three children, two biological one step.

I would recommend haveing children to anyone whom had heart, and love to spare. I have learned so much from my children I could not even begin to express. Everything both good and painfull along the weay has been a chance for me to learn and grow. I am helping people to learrn and grow, to develope ideas and ideals, I can't think of a single thing that can effect the state of the world in this way and give the kinds of rewards and just punishment that kids give you.

Good with animals? Like to teach or nurture? Think you have somethink worth passing on geneticaly or intellectually?

These are some good questions, if you deal with "issues" expect them to be brought to the surface, raiseing children is reality strait up and in your face.

I hope you do someday have kids (feel comfortable with it), And all the best.


Cheers, and all the best.

Originally posted by Golithion
reply to post by jude11

 

That is the worse thing you can do to yourselves in this situation is try to predict the future. Heck I don't even think god can predict it. But believe you me with your guidance and hers by the sounds of it you have nothing to fear. Teach the kid everything you know and will get along in the world just fine.

You are right, no one can predict the future. However, logic and math do not lie. I know its easier to sympathize and comment on this topic emotionally, but what about logically?