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The elipton is supposedly Russia's top 'top secret' weapon. Its existence is flaunted by its greatest (and only) proponent, the Russian ultra-nationalist Vladimir Zhirinovsky. During his recent visit to Serbia, Mr Zhirinovsky not only reportedly tested a 'very, very small' elipton against a Bosnian Muslim unit ('12 Muslim soldiers died') but also left a bigger elipton behind. He gave it to the Serbs with strict instructions that it only be used in case of dire emergency, such as Nato air strikes against the Bosnian Serbs.
Yesterday, the Serbian politician entrusted with the weapon, the suspected war criminal Zeljko Raznatovic, better known as Arkan, warned the West that if it did not stop threatening to bomb the Serbs he would have no choice but to unleash the beast.
This highly dubious armament is, depending on the day it is being described, either a sonic or electronic device which fuses neutrons and protons with fatal results. 'The world has no idea of the real power of this weapon,' Mr Zhirinovsky's deputy, Alexei Vidnenkin, told a Belgrade press conference recently. 'It can kill people in a matter of hours and those killed do not know what they died from.'