What if Animals/Other Lifeforms Could Post on ATS?

I was thinking about this today.

Like what if dogs could post?

A real crazy one is what if trees could post?

What if they could log into the internet with their roots and post on ATS?

I already know Demi-gods and people who are actually alienz post on ATS, why not animals and trees?

I think a lot of the posts would look something like this:

adslfm;a;oij ;aeoljf aer dslkfjm ;andvasdf

Because of all the hooves and stuff.

reply to post by notsofunnyguy


Well let's say they had keyboards designed for hooves.

Or better yet, a animal to human language translator.

reply to post by SolarE-Souljah

If I let my dog post, all the threads would either be about bacon or naps.

Mostly bacon.
(she's a good dog )

If trees could post they would be pissed about the show Axe Men

reply to post by notsofunnyguy


Notsofunnyguy - I had to laugh out loud on this one! I just got a very strange look from my husband....

OP - I have a cat that plays World of Warcraft, so hey - anything is possible. I have a tortoise on my lap as I type - wonder if she can read? She got mauled by a dog 3 weeks ago, and now has a fiberglass cast for half of her shell. She'd probably be ranting about the evils of dogs, and how they didn't deserve freedom. Then the dogs will retaliate and say that tortoises are ancient fuddy duddys, and shouldn't be allowed to vote.

Then my cat would start a rumor of a Dog Rapture, and say it was tomorrow....

reply to post by SolarE-Souljah


i speak pine and a little birch.


grass is very complicated.

if they could post, they would be much smarter than us.

think of it, if they could communicate to us, with their very different lifestyles, how could we even relate to a plant or a dog or a kangaroo?

they could be the ultimate pragmatic idealogical life forms or the most philosophical we ever could imagine,

or even just plain stupid.

i do know some horny toads tho.

they are interesting.

The tree outside just relayed a message to me.

"OMG humans why. Why you gotta be so rude? Why you gotta be such humans for?
One day, we will eat your decomposed flesh and grow from it."



PS: Trees are cool.

from the dog:
"How hard is it to just pick up the doodoo from the carpet without ranting for 10 minutes. I mean, a girl's gotta go when she's gotta go. Paw at the door? Oh, the humanity. It's soo much easier to just...go. I mean, it's the size of a cheeto...you'll live. Oh, and that two year old? I know my eyes are a little on the buggy side, but he doesn't need to poke them. Oh, and those cats? *****EDITED BY MODERATOR FOR PROFANITY***
And what's with these dresses I keep getting forced into...."

from the female cat:
"LOL stupid dog. I get free roam of the house. And she has to wear those stupid lookin dresses...and what's with this other cat? Could he refrain from licking my head for a minute? What is he, my mother? What a douche. Oh, and that guy walking around naked? Put some shorts on, I'm a year away from being a senior, I don't want to go blind early."

from the male cat:
"durrrr, food. durrrr, food. Water? glug glug?" /hairball

probally go something like this>

fish: the new world conspiracy. the beevers are enslaving us by building a network of dams

New thread by GreenGecko: It's MYYYYYY JUICE DROPLETS!!!

That's right. You see that juice can over there? You see those sugary droplets inside? Listen up Geckos, those are MY DROPLETS!! I will guard the sugary treat with my life. Oh what other gecko, you coming to scope out my juicy goodness? That's it

*GreenGecko chases other geckos wildly and chirpppppp chirppp chiropprrpr.

muahahaha other geckos. It's all mine....

Dogs and cats would probably say:
"We want our natural, God-given reproductive rights!
Why don't humans spay or neuter THEIR young, when there's almost 9 Billion of them, and nowadays they are constantly in heat and and their bimbo females stay pregnant from the moment they enter high school.
The males even constantly call each other "dogs", which is highly insulting to canines.
Enough is enough!
Woof woof!"

reply to post by halfoldman


Arf Arf! The Woofulution has begun!

We shall start with the mailmen.

A dog would reply something like this -
hi...
hi...
ball?
ball?
food?
food?
what are we going to do next?
You...
you...
you...
food?
hi..
hi..
hi..

If my sweet dog could tweet, it'd be

Peed
Ate grass
Chased a butterfly
Peed
Bit Daddies ear
Chased tail
Poo'd
Had Pizza because she's such a good girl
Ate sofa cushion
Peed

Nap time.

My Lulla is a Border Collie that is a beautiful example of why there is a heaven.

reply to post by SolarE-Souljah

Meowmen and howllelujah to that!
These are the bones of contention.

Trees? They'd probably have so much to complain about and discuss, one wouldn't know where to start.
I guess they'd scold us for using wooden crosses in our symbolism, but not respecting the trees.
They'd probably say: "Now how would one of your Saviours have been crucified if it wasn't for one of us trees who died first?"
I'm not sure if they're entirely against being smoked if it increases their range and saves other trees.
I guess some would argue: "You gotta grow a head to get ahead".
I don't think they'd like being genetically engineered.

Interesting question.

Terry Pratchett, in his novel REAPER MAN talked about how the trees lived so long that they couldn't actually see what happened to/with humans... it occurred too fast. And for dogs and cats, who live only 20 years at most, our actions must seem inanely slow.

I do feel that life forms are sentient (not sure where I draw the line, though) -- I know they wouldn't be as obsessed about human individuals though they might obsess over human actions as a group.

Interesting question.

It may be total chaos. Plants and animals, as everybody knows, have very different problems than us. So maybe they would share us how they pissed on the carpet yesterday. Well, if more intelligent animals like dolphins, could share something with us it would be very nice.

you got me im actualy a parrot, i have trouble typing so thats why i have several typos in my posts

reply to post by SolarE-Souljah


I kind of get the feeling they might say something like: