The Rapture Report-Live testimonials from around the world, 26 minutes to go.

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posted on May, 21 2011 @ 05:27 PM
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Just got a tech support call from Jesus. Apparently they're trying to run the Rapture software on Windows 95 ME. After a short chortle I told him to switch to Linux. Between getting Linux setup and the incredibly large download for the Linux version of Rapture 11.0 I figure we have till December 21, 2012. By that time they'll need to upgrade to 12.0, good thing I didn't mention that.
edit on 5/21/2011 by Terrormaster because: spelling correction




posted on May, 21 2011 @ 05:31 PM
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Apparently; yelling "HOLY $H!T, I'M FLYING!!!" gets you booted mid-Rapture.

Oh well, while I'm here...
might as well send you the First Official pics of the Rapture.


Capture da Rapture
edit on 21-5-2011 by Mactire because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 21 2011 @ 05:59 PM
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just awake, how did u go usa east coast?
did yall get lifted up to charlie sheens mansion?



posted on May, 21 2011 @ 06:01 PM
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posted on May, 21 2011 @ 07:15 PM
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U.S. Eastern time....here's what happened in the deep South....It's a Miracle I tell you...a Miracle....




posted on May, 21 2011 @ 07:35 PM
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MAN!!

We have a thunderstorm roll in, heavy hail, and a dang tornado headin our way....

Stoopid rapture, not only are you an hour and a half late, but it was a pretty nice day!



posted on May, 21 2011 @ 07:43 PM
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reply to post by zazzafrazz
 


Well, here in the American northeast, we experienced a very mild rapture with just a 10% chance of floating naked people. Jesus ditched me. Every time he says he is coming to hang out he blows me off and never shows. What a jerk



posted on May, 21 2011 @ 07:49 PM
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12 minutes left here in the West coast.

Isn't camping in Cali?

I can't wait for his PRPR (post rapture public relations) campaign!



posted on May, 21 2011 @ 07:55 PM
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So...how does it feel to get rapture punk'd....who says God doesn't have a sense of humor.

Guess these guys will go out of business now..... that business plan didn't pan out..

If The Rapture Happened Right Now, What Would Happen To Your Pets?


Register Your Pets With The Post-Rapture Pet Care Registry

Dear Fellow Christian:

As the Apostle Paul describes in Thessalonians as quoted above, at some point in the future Jesus will come in the air, catch up the Church from the earth, and then return to heaven with the Church. This is known as the Rapture and it will be glorious. But what of our pets? Who will take care of our pets when we're gone?


www.aftertherapturepetcare.com...
edit on 03/28/2011 by Destinyone because: (no reason given)
edit on 03/28/2011 by Destinyone because: (no reason given)
edit on 03/28/2011 by Destinyone because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 21 2011 @ 08:15 PM
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reply to post by Destinyone
 




God doesn't care about animals now? Or is that the church believes? Seriously haha, I've been seeing this around on ATS lately, it's so funny.



posted on May, 21 2011 @ 08:31 PM
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I can just see the Aliens scheduled to pick us up on Dec, 21, 2012....laughing their butts off tomorrow morning.



posted on May, 21 2011 @ 08:39 PM
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Originally posted by David291
reply to post by Destinyone
 




God doesn't care about animals now? Or is that the church believes? Seriously haha, I've been seeing this around on ATS lately, it's so funny.


On the site, they said they've arranged for atheists to care for your pets...guess they won't be going for sure...according to the After the Rapture Pet Care service.....



posted on May, 21 2011 @ 08:58 PM
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Flyers from Kinko's for Rapture...$3,572.00

Billboards for preparing for Rapture $100,000.00

That awkward moment when Harold Camping realizes he got it wrong for the second time.

PRICELESS!!!!!


edit on 03/28/2011 by Destinyone because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 21 2011 @ 08:59 PM
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Now can I eat my pizza and watch the Mavs, thunder game in peace? Without any rapture interruptions?



posted on May, 21 2011 @ 09:10 PM
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I am still waiting for Godot...



posted on May, 21 2011 @ 09:17 PM
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Once again, sadly for you fecalpheliacs out there, I will not have to eat my own feces.
Once again, an "end of the World" date has come and passed...
Once again, the ATS board was whipped up into a frenzy of finger pointing, arguing and fighting over rubbish.

Like in Sept 6 1994.... NOTHING happened!!

Here's some boobies: ( . ) ( . )



posted on May, 22 2011 @ 05:25 AM
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www.bbc.co.uk...


Followers of an evangelical broadcaster who declared that Saturday would be Judgement Day are trying to make sense of the failed prediction. Some believers expressed bewilderment or said it was a test from God of their faith, after the day passed without event. Meanwhile, the evangelist at the centre of the claim, Harold Camping, has not been seen since before the deadline.

oh well there goes another date

this thread has had me crying at times
great one,nice to have a lighthearted convo on here for a change

S+F for you my friend



ETA:goodness,even though its not happened some will still believe that god is now stalling and testing they,re faith
And harold camping not been seen since huh...................now theres a surprise
edit on 22/5/11 by cut3ypie because: my take on the post
edit on 22/5/11 by cut3ypie because: spelling mistakes



posted on May, 22 2011 @ 07:11 AM
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Originally posted by cut3ypie

ETA:goodness,even though its not happened some will still believe that god is now stalling and testing they,re faith
And harold camping not been seen since huh...................now theres a surprise


He's been raptured from the public eye...



posted on May, 22 2011 @ 07:34 AM
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Originally posted by Mactire

Originally posted by cut3ypie

ETA:goodness,even though its not happened some will still believe that god is now stalling and testing they,re faith
And harold camping not been seen since huh...................now theres a surprise


He's been raptured from the public eye...


How nice that God let him take over 100 million in donations with him. Heaven must have pretty high real estate prices.



posted on May, 22 2011 @ 08:53 PM
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reply to post by Destinyone
 


It was an expensive ticket.





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