The Rapture Report-Live testimonials from around the world, 26 minutes to go.

reply to post by OldCorp


You selfish bugger.......SHARE man SHARE that popcorn

My cigarettes... were just raptured.

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/9346401b69cd.jpg[/atsimg]

oh noes... it has started after all...

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/91a9283b7587.jpg[/atsimg]

Originally posted by elcapitano75
My cigarettes... were just raptured.

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/9346401b69cd.jpg[/atsimg]

ROFLMAO

Mine were raptured as well, luckily the convenient store down the street must have had naughty smokes, so I was able to procure some more.

the zelda fan in me says that when god looks down on me, he's going to say "You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?"

is that heathen of me?

Originally posted by WilliamRikeronaSegway

is that heathen of me?

Totally. That's why you're still here while everyone else is... still here also

OK sooooooooooooooo
NZ had no rapture?
Im not giving up!!!!
1 hour to go here

Harold Camping Was Right!

Sort of...But he's not going to like it...

After a few minutes reading the live twitter feed of the rapture, I decided to repent. Just in case. All of a sudden, Boom!. Nekkid in the sky, wondering if I will ever savor the flavor of cookie dough ice cream again.

Upon arriving at the pearly gates, imagine my surprise when it turns out that God turns out to be none other than George Carlin! As it would turn out, I wasn't "raptured" at all. It seems Lord Carlin believes that the state of the religion in general is so bad, that he prefers people think for themselves and just use last minute repentance as a "gothcha" to shove in the faces of sheep.

He also had a message for Mr. Camping. Lord Carlin has decided that Harold will the only person "raptured" but it won't be to heaven. It will be to a duplex in new jersey. One side is a same sex swingers party. The other is L. Ron Hubbard's house. He gets to chose where he spends eternity.

After receiving this message, I was sent back down to Earth where I found a brand new pint of cookie dough ice cream, but no clothes were in sight.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

reply to post by GringoViejo


I knew it!! His part in Dogma was code.

He had Randy "The Macho Man" Savage working the gates didn't he?

reply to post by Hijaqd


You know it!

THIS JUST IN:

Rapture
Is
Currently
Knocking
Reactors
On
Louisiana
Lake
Entirely
Down!

Originally posted by alkesh
reply to post by OldCorp

 

dude, greatest waiting video ever. i have tears in my eyes. thats some funny s**t. you laughin didnt help either

edit on 21-5-2011 by alkesh because: (no reason given)

I aim to please.

Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by OldCorp

 

You selfish bugger.......SHARE man SHARE that popcorn

FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!!!

Now this is a GREAT idea.

@ProfBrianCox: We should all pretend the #rapture is happening so that when Harold Camping gets left behind later today he'll be livid

That'll teach the old bugger to fear monger

I can calm down now .. they said it would be right after midnight that the rapture would happen ..

I guess my request was heard after all ...

I told them beofore I took my nap at 9pm which was really wierd cuz I never get sleepy that late at night an wake back up
but yeah so I told them to never miind and just go ahead and take those who are ready an prepared ..
kinda crazy tho about this being tired an all at 9pm so I slept 3 hours .. kinda wierd for me to do that ..
I'm glad I stayed and didnt have to go .. LMAO

reply to post by Fishticon84




Dang it that's not funny!! Now I'll have it stuck in my head!

reply to post by jennybee35


You're welcome.
I put soooo much effort into that one

George Noory mentioned abovetopsecret on Coast to Coast am tonight. Open lines for the Rapture for the next 2 hours. It's gonna be an awesome show! Bound to be some interesting callers. I've been thinking about calling the show for a long time, tonight may be the night. Why not right? Might be my last chance.
If you call in make sure to mention your'e an ATS member.

reply to post by ZeroReady


Aw man I completely forgot to tune in!
Thanks for reminding me

reply to post by ZeroReady


He's just talking about those stupid oranges again