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I feel helpless. I need some life advice and do things really get better after HS?

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posted on May, 19 2011 @ 03:26 PM

I talked to my mom about this, and she said "a rule is a rule, it's there for a reason. Stop trying to get over the system." But that's what bugs me. I'm somewhat of a free spirited and independent person. I just want to do my own thing, and as long as I'm not hurting anyone.

This right here is the heart of your post. If your like many others on this site you go against the grain, you break rules, and you do what's natural. I wouldn't worry about a job and would continue to be a free spirited and independent person.

why should anyone care?

They shouldn't care but just humor them because things will change. Have faith. If you've ever believed in anything in your entire life, believe that change is approaching fast and whether you know what to do with change is completely up to you. This isn't a message to you as a High School Student which you and myself have been categorized and separated as, this is a message to you as a soul to other humans who have souls. It makes no difference how old you are we have been young and old many times before.

Do not question the path you are on just know that it is the right one because from my heart of hearts I can see that we are not so different and that we share a similar opportunity in the future. You are right to ask the question if this is indeed your future. Proudly I can say it is not.

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 03:30 PM
It's crazy to think that when I was in high school I never thought I would be the person I am today... I'm 24 years old & My personality has almost flipped. In High School I was the really quiet Shy guy who only would only really talk to the 4 or 5 good friends I had. Girls were always on my mind lol but I was this insecure shy "nice" guy. ha ha I laugh now everytime I think about it. Once I started to go to College something changed. people weren't so focused on what clothes someone was wearing or who was dating who or how dorky or fat someone looked.
Instead people minded their own business focused on themselves and it didnt matter anymore how someone appeared to someone else. Grades are an important fundamental habit. whether you like a class or not it's important to complete your work because in the World of work, to succeed is with knowledge and to get knowledge is to seek it and practice it. Things may not seem so great now but Trust everyone when they say it gets better. Focus on school no matter how boring or tedious it may seem and focus on yourself. Being physically active is a great way to reduce anxiety or stress. I weight lift & or run. Music is always great too!
Also... Forgot to say that NOW I am a confident outgoing person due to experiences in my life. enjoy yours

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 04:03 PM
Yes. People are much more mature in college and the idiots are far and few between. Most of the idiots who are making life hell for you will not go to college. At least not for long; I found that those type of people will drop out within a year or two...

Also, stop letting that anger build up inside of you. It will turn you into those that are tormenting you if you let it. Find a way to let that anger out. Or you can find some form of spirituality to practice, that will work even better. The ego is the main cause of your anger, to destroy it, would be getting to the root of the problem. So, enlightenment would be the best course of action, but probably not the most practical. More practical than both of these suggestions would be just some basic meditation, as you don't need to invest a lot of time into getting started, and it works very well.

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 04:15 PM

Originally posted by mossme89
reply to post by OptimusSubprime

I'm 18, but apparently when you go to a public high school (what my school is), you waive away part of your rights, like the military.

That's another thing. There was this kid who put glue in my hair Freshman year. He apologized to me this year and we've been acquainted since. Anyway, i ran into him the the halls one day. He was headed to the front office because a teacher asked to confiscate his phone and he said no. He was about to be suspended for it. Luckily, i keep a cheap old phone in my backpack that i don't use, in case a teacher asks to confiscate my phone. It even looked like his. I gave it to him and he told the principal he had reconsidered and gave him my phone. But this was only after they made him "Sit and think about what he had done" alone in a room for an hour. But, it raised personal questions over whether they were blowing things out of proportion.

You don't give away any of your rights in public school. As I'm sure you know, public school is nothing more than a state institution, like the DMV. They can tell you that you aren't allowed to use the phone, but they sure as hell can't confiscate it. The school has to abide by the state constitution, because it is a state run institution. Any teacher that tells you otherwise is lying to you.

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 04:25 PM

Originally posted by mossme89
I forgot to mention that I go to the richest school in the 5th richest county in the USA
Probably more likely someone would become a politician than anything else...

My family isn't rich, we're middle class and were able to get in before house prices went through the roof. But we're surrounded by lawyers and people who make $200,000+
edit on 19-5-2011 by mossme89 because: (no reason given)

I wonder how many of those people are actually happy? Some are I'm sure, but certainly not the vast majority of them. I come from an area like that, and I know that most of those types of people are too caught up in materialism and keeping up with the Jones' to actually enjoy life. Your goal should be to find a happy medium to that, whatever that may be.

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 04:30 PM

Originally posted by mossme89
I forgot to mention that I go to the richest school in the 5th richest county in the USA
Probably more likely someone would become a politician than anything else...

My family isn't rich, we're middle class and were able to get in before house prices went through the roof. But we're surrounded by lawyers and people who make $200,000+
edit on 19-5-2011 by mossme89 because: (no reason given)

Years from now you will be glad that you grew up middle class around a bunch of wealthy people... I know I am. You will grow to appreciate things in your life. The kids that you go to school with are probably spoiled and drive nice cars that their Daddy bought them. Those kids are in for a rude awakening once they get out of HS and into the real world. You however have the advantage of growing up in reality and will adjust to "real life" much faster and better than the majority of the kids at your school.

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 04:53 PM
I was randomly thinking the other day how funny high school was because at the time it seemed like a living hell, but looking back on it now, it barely even scratched my skin. I thought about what I would tell the 'past version' of me if I had the chance, in order to make my life easier back then.
I knew that everyone said things like, "It will all get better after high school, you will resolve your own doubts, etc.", but that just didn't cut it for me. I wasn't living 'after' high school, I was living 'in' high school and I needed clarity then.

My mind was filled with all the thoughts you described and the advice I give to you is the same I would give myself if I had the chance:

Just by realizing those thoughts and wrestling with those concerns, means that you have already conquered them.

I have spent the last few years of my life watching people around me fight many internal battles because they hadn't realized what you already have. It seems as if they have never searched within themselves at all. You seem like a very analytical person, and maybe sometimes you feel the need to analyse life itself sometimes. In doing this, feelings like the ones you describe are raised, but ultimately they provide clarity. Your life will be better for it and it all started with you wondering why you react to a situation a certain way. Life is funny like that.

Be happy and excited in the fact that you realize you have questions, because if you don't have questions, the answers which are constantly being presented to you in life, are meaningless. In a weird way, think of life as a fishing competition, with questions being the net. The more nets you have the more fish you have. And fish are awesome. They make life much more enjoyable in every aspect.

Have a look through the earlier posts again as well, there is some very good advice on what makes the journey easier. I just wanted to remind you that the journey is also the best part. It's a good thing life is full of transitions.

I hope your driving test went well and I wish you all the best.

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 06:10 PM
reply to post by OptimusSubprime

I know but they confiscate them anyway. Straight from the student handbook:

Cell Phones and Electronic Devices
Cell phones in school should be turned off from 7:25 a.m. to 2:10 p.m. including during lunch and in between classes. Those in violation will be confiscated and turned over to an administrator and a Disciplinary Referral will be written. The confiscated phone will need to be picked up by a parent. Detention will be given for a first offense and Saturday School for a second. Repeat violations are subject to additional sanctions, including “Failure to follow school rules” as covered in the Howard County Code of Conduct.

What am i supposed to do? Every day, i see several phones getting confiscated. If i say no, I'll get suspended for insubordination. If i tell them they can't do this, they'll just pull out the policy sheet. My vice principal is a real hard[donkey]. She'd be a good warden at a jail, let me just leave it at that. She takes her job WAY too seriously.
edit on 19-5-2011 by mossme89 because: (no reason given)

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 06:18 PM

Originally posted by OptimusSubprime
Years from now you will be glad that you grew up middle class around a bunch of wealthy people... I know I am. You will grow to appreciate things in your life. The kids that you go to school with are probably spoiled and drive nice cars that their Daddy bought them. Those kids are in for a rude awakening once they get out of HS and into the real world. You however have the advantage of growing up in reality and will adjust to "real life" much faster and better than the majority of the kids at your school.

I know what you mean. Sure I have a MacBook and an iPhone, but i had to work 2 jobs to get enough money for them. It really makes you appreciate it rather than having things handed to you. I pay for my own cell phone service (prepaid) and this one kid couldn't understand why my parents couldn't pay for it. He literally could not understand.

Originally posted by dyllels

Thanks for the message
Yeah, maybe deep down i feel like things will get better, but now i'm in high school and that's what matters. But hopefully things will get better. I'm just the type of person that likes to resolve issues ASAP and it sort of irks me to leave outstanding issues, especially with that one girl who rejected me to prom. I can't even send her a message on facebook, she blocked me the last time i did that.

I hope your driving test went well and I wish you all the best.

Oh yeah, i have it tomorrow. Haha if anyone has any tips on backing into a space, parallel parking, or bribing the instructor, let me know

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 07:51 PM
I know almost exactly what you're going through OP. If its ok im going to give you some background knowledge on me. I am 18 and also graduating this year. In freshman year i had a good time at my school, i was good friends with a decent group of people and had good grades and a great gf. By the end of that year i had no girlfriend and none of those friends because for whatever reason all our parents had to switch jobs that same year. So i switched a new school with 1700 people compared to the 500 at my last school.
I am like you, nice to everyone even if someone seems to get mad at me or sad i try to make things seem not as bad as they are because tomorrow it shouldn't have an effect on how your life should be lived. The problems really aren't as big as they make them seem. I was also bullied quite a bit but I always fought back, although i never hit first. which suprised people since i am only 5'3 but i am in good shape, play football and was raised to know its not right to be treated that way. I never hungout with the regular group of people. After losing all of my good friends I didn't really want to put the new effort in, I just talked to the people who talked to me and I have 2 real good friends and i am seeing alot of my family.
I grew up with only my mom until 14 when i started living my dad. Rough childhood i guess but i am strong willed and a strong mind. I weigh things out like you do, except with the cell phone situation, i would put it in my pocket and tell them i won't use it again. never got it taken aha. I usually put morals ahead of most rules. I have thought about what you said before,
" I'm somewhat of a free spirited and independent person. I just want to do my own thing, and as long as I'm not hurting anyone, why should anyone care? " , that is really the way things should be but there is way too many laws and other people that don't agree with other lifestyles and it causes conflict. It would only be possible if you were living off the land.
I was dating a girl for 18 months and it was amazing, real love. its been over almost 2 years and i still get reminded of her. at the end we broke-up because she cheated and chose to go with the group of people i consider to be 'jersey shore wannabes' , no exaggeration. that is humiliating to know i lost her because of one night. so i feel your pain bro.
I have had a bit of help along the way from a close friend mary jane.

After reading your post i feel like i'm kinda the same person as you. what i have to say is no matter what always keep your head up man. If you just got dumped keep your head up because that will only show who has more heart. Don't worry about the bullies either bro, in 2 years you won't even be thinking about them. Find what you love in life and try to turn it into a career or hobby. I'm not the most productive for hobbies but i do a lot of meditation and I can find balance in situations in my life. The only person your going to be with forever is you so do what you love, but don't hurt others in your path. ahhhh wow this is longer than i thought. sry bro

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 08:19 PM
I understand where you're coming from dude, everybody always says these are the best years of my life, but I completely disagree. All throughout high school I've been a loner, bouncing from one friend group to another until they basically all began ignoring me and disassociating themselves from me. Even when I did have what I thought were friends, they would only answer a small amount of my phone calls or text messages, but I guess I convinced myself every time they would answer and hang out with me. So after years of rejection I just said **** it, and basically gave up on friends altogether. I figured it's better to accept that I'm a loner and live that way than waste time calling and texting people every day when I'm just going to end up staying home alone either way. At school I always had people to talk to, not exactly friends but acquaintances, but outside of school its always the same thing, they ignore my phone calls, ignore my text messages, or come up with excuses. Throughout high school, I probably left my house to go hang out with people once every two weeks, and that's a generous estimate, it's probably more like once a month to be honest.

But today was my last day of high school, I graduate next Sunday, and I'm done with that terrible environment. I hated every day of it, and I'm glad to be done with it. I plan to major in Astronomy because I'm really into just about anything dealing with space and the universe, and now that I'm finally free from high school I feel a lot better. Forget about high school, and try to pursue the thing that you enjoy most in life.

"I know it seem hard sometimes but uhh
Remember one thing
Through every dark night, there's a bright day after that
So no matter how hard it get, stick your chest out
Keep your head up, and handle it" - Tupac

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 08:37 PM
High school is like the world you COULD be forced to live in! And, you just might have to.
Question. Did you change your high school or did your high school change you?
This is philosophical stuff, no doubt, but, this is how the world works Get used to it. The world can suck, it depends on what part of the world you live in. But, it can also start sucking because you just sit back and watch it all go to hell, and, it can stop sucking because you step out and take a stand. I say, stop trying to please.

I smoked a lot of dope in "high" school. I was one of those that didn't change the school, and the school didn't change me. It took me a few years after high school to realize the world is #, but you don't have to be.

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 08:54 PM

I have a major case of cognitive dissonance. In other words, my actions are different than my attitude, creating confusion, stress, and major inner conflicts. For example, I have little desire to get good grades or study hard, especially if the subject doesn't interest me. Yet, I do it anyway because I feel like I have to in order to get a decent job. I keep asking myself why i do all this, go to school, study, etc. Part of the reason is that i am pretty much forced to by my parents. The other reason is that I have this faint hope that if I get a degree, and a good job, that I'll be happy.

I may catch some flak for this but....

The truth is that you are a slave to a system which you must bend to, else the system will cast you aside, because it doesn't care if you live or die.

However, the same can be said of nature. We must follow nature's rules or we perish... this is because we are "stuck" inside these bodies (for now.)

The problem with rules of THE SYSTEM is that they don't allow for enough recess time on the playground...all work and little play... and now as you're approaching adulthood - and independence, you are feeling the trappings of the system around your wrists, ankles and throat.

Welcome to the real world Neo! You are a slave.
Don't feel too alone, we are all your fellow slaves. Most of us anyway.

Now, any ideas on how to beat this crappy system?

edit on 19-5-2011 by DeReK DaRkLy because: yeah, yeah... i know

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 09:02 PM
not only do they get better, but you more or less get a fresh start even if you don't go to college. Move out, move away and start a new life

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 09:31 PM
reply to post by mossme89

I won't lie to you.
It gets worse, just in a different way.
You will shed ancient problems only to bear new ones.
each person's life is different.
And most people here lie to you.

If you take my strategy, you will become a workhorse,
you will dissociate yourself from everybody around you,
you will work hard, drink lots of coffee, and strive for
a really good career, because deep down inside, you believe money brings happiness.
The end path to this is more hard work, you become a mule
for the rest of your life doing a repetitive job. You will be lucky to marry and have kids,
but you will most probably not due to the fact that you have dissociated yourself from
everyone around you. Making new friendships will be hard, and when you get over the
anxiety, you will notice that everything is empty around you, that nothing means anything,
including your new friendships. You will realize that you no longer connect with anyone because
you have lost your individuality and your ability to feel. Good news is you'll have money to travel
the world and buy crap you don't need. If you succeed in getting a good career that is...

If not, you will work hard for the rest of your life, you will not be wealthy so you will not
be able to travel the world or buy crap you don't need, the kicker is you won't be able
to buy things that you DO need. There is a multitude of negative outcomes that can follow
such a path. Too many to mention.

My advice to you is, stand up for yourself, people prey on those who appear weak.
Don't do drugs, try to drink socially, don't make it an addiction.
Build yourself goals and follow them through, don't drift in limbo,
you'll never see the end of it and you'll waste precious years of your youth.
The sooner you finish university the sooner you'll feel accomplished,
because then you'll be totally independent from everyone else, and that is a
massive burden off your shoulders right there, not to mention that you could
use the extra cash to travel the world and see what beauty it holds.
Getting a woman when you got money ain't all that hard, as long as she's broke
and needs someone to cling on to, I never said love existed or that you should marry her.
Your choice in the end really.
edit on 19-5-2011 by Radekus because: (no reason given)

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 09:41 PM
post removed because the user has no concept of manners

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posted on May, 19 2011 @ 10:02 PM
reply to post by kerazeesicko

The only loser I see here is someone whose pointing fingers and making accusations,
You're insulting a kid who has a hard time growing up cause he has low self esteem.
And you think that calling him a loser is going to help? No, you're just fueling your own ego.
Go away you Troll.

The Bourgeois will never understand the Proletariat, go back to the shadows from which you came demon.

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 10:37 PM
For what it's worth: keep your chin up, buddy.

The last two years of my high school years I abused drugs to "help" cope before college, even though I had made honor roll and states within my sport. Feeling bummed out is part of the whole cycle, some of us feel it harder than other.

But the important thing is to always keep your chin up.

Things may or may not get better after you finish high school, but that's up to you to decide.You've probably been told that quite often, but it really is true. Personally, after two years of college I dropped out and pursued what I loved and, while things may get rough, I generally am always smiling.

Take it from someone who has hit rock bottom, listen to yourself and your desires, and you have nowhere to go but up.

And as cliche as it is, when I was younger (which, really, I mean only 3-4 years ago as I am just about 21) reggae music really helped me. If you don't mind the style, this kind of music helped me quit some tough substances:

Like I said, chin up. You'll always meet someone who's been lower, be grateful you've got the chance to pick yourself right back up. Feel better my friend.


edit on 5/19/2011 by Konah because: (no reason given)

posted on May, 19 2011 @ 11:02 PM
Hey man, been there and done that. I was the really talented kid in high school that was never part of the
" in crowd" or the "pretty people"...and I was never fringe enough to be part of the "rebels"... but they both used me for my talents. I was one of those invisible kids that no one saw and only a hand full ever remember. Like you, I had crushes unpersued, rejection, anger, angst...

To focus that energy I started lifting weights... I also read...anything and everything.... I got really smart and the coach that never noticed me was begging me to try out for football... It was cool rejecting him the way he had rejected me my freshman year.

Anyway, High School will be over soon enough...I have seen maybe a handfull of the people I graduated with since then...I hated high school and have no desire to go to any of the reunions that have been put together since.

Friend...College, if you choose to go is totally different. I dated girls out the wazoo...had girl friends...joined a fraternity and still have friends from then... and lots of really good memories. And I still read a lot, too.

What you are feeling is normal high school teen to adult crisis will go away... and you will find someone to love...and you will get a life.

However, you are in a critical stage of life and it could set the course for years to come. How good your life is may be determined by a few simple decisions now.

At 48 years of's some advice....

Don't worry what others think except at a job interview.... be who you want to be and then you will be happy....

Nothing wrong in dating, but don't force love or a relationship. I believe there is someone for everyone. Case in point, my ex-wife and I dated for a year prior to marriage. The woman I now call my wife dated for 4 months and got married...we have been married for almost 11 years now.

Keep your horse in the barn until you are sure you love someone...and then keep it saddled up until you are ready to make babies... I have a daughter that I love dearly, but she was the result of a bad decision...and it still impacts her life and mine.... sometimes good, sometimes not so good. Be careful

Read, study, learn anything and everything... get a college degree if possible...they ain't what they used to be...more like a glorified HS diploma these days...can't hardly get a decent job without one.

Start planning a financial future now while you are young. No, you don't have to be a Wall Street wizkid...just use your noggin' and talk to anyone, advice, stories... invest in some cheap real estate with a good future... for the price of a cheap car you could be the owner of a piece of land in 15 years...just think, a piece of property paid for by 33... impossible? I have a 3 acre lot almost paid for at 135 bucks a month on a 15 year maybe a year left...that is the cost of a 5 dollar happy meal each work day in a month. OR you might invest in a simple mutual your research.... but with a simple monthly allowance of say 100 dollars... starting at say 21 years could have hundreds of thousands by the time you are 51... trust me, time flies.

Figure out what you have a passion for and persue a way to make money at it....

Try to have a spiritual side to life... don't know what you believe if anything, but it does make life easier to believe in something.

Laugh... I am in the late summer of life and life is too dang short to take too seriously. That is whay I ride around with a big ass pirate flag painted on the tailgate of my pickup... people point, stare, even take pictures...but I like it...especially with my hippie mustache and goatee and bandana around my head... cut off jean shorts and work boots and tye-dye T....look like a psychadelic pirate for sure.

Relax only gets better...there will be tragedy, sorrow, and burdens...but there will be fun, and love, and girls, and BBQs and what ever else you want to do....It's all up to you, man.

posted on May, 20 2011 @ 06:33 AM
I guess what really frustrates me in HS is that some people when i try to talk to them, just blow me off. Others, I instantly become a creeper by talking to them, because they don't know me. Well then how are you supposed to meet people if you don't want people you don't know talking to you?

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