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Mental/ nervous breakdowns and the comprehension of the universe.

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posted on May, 16 2011 @ 06:37 PM
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I am 14 years old, I don't care what you say about me I want honesty. I am not crazy, this is my personal experience.
The 14th of May 2011, I sat in a parking lot of my mother's car and had a nervous breakdown or something. I hate shopping so I normally stay in the car to type on my computer. I'm a writer, little poems and occasional sci-fi. My breakdown had been coming for weeks, I was anticipating it. A mix of lack of sleep, haven't been eating much and stress. Every time I stood up to go into the hallway of my house, I'd get dizzy and see shadow people shuffling into my deceased grandmother's room. I didn't know what was wrong with me.

I screamed, cried and nearly passed out from lack-of-air. People walked past and asked me was I okay I said I was fine. After a while the crying and screaming stopped, can't remember anything for a while. I remember wiping the tears away and feigning bravery like the doctor. Not crying and staying strong.

I sat there, deep in thought and thinking, Ideas started to flood my mind about the universe. I thought about everything how death isn't darkness and is in another dimension.

Aliens are within us and the shadow people are just things of our consciousness. The line between the living and dead is blurry, past everything we know yet so close. The in-between and the darkness. I thought about the possibility of their being a doctor, possibility of everything. I was shaking like a leaf.

I got out of the car danced in the drizzling rain screaming "If you want me you can take me!" I was laughing and no longer afraid. The comprehension of bliss, afterward I felt calm. I got back into the car, sat down and started writing about it.

When my mother came back out, she gave me a few bananas and some water, I didn't tell her about the breakdown by then I wasn't crying, screaming or shaking anymore. Now when I look at my writing from the 14th, it seems cryptic and vague. It was like I was possessed. I no longer see the shadow people and am no longer feeling like a mental collapse. What do you think I had breakdown or a surge of genius ? I don't know, now I'm okay. Am I crazy or sane ?




posted on May, 16 2011 @ 06:39 PM
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Originally posted by Heartisblack
Am I crazy or sane ?


Sounds like a healthy dose of puberty if you ask me.
Hormones can play hell on your mind.



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 06:48 PM
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When you are young, you have a small consciousness and your awareness is close to your 'self'. If you have expanded your consciousness, the kids your age probably seem immature to you. As most people get older, the consciousness expands as the void is filled. If it's filled with crap, it never gets full. If you fill it with pure wisdom, it stays full and expands further.

In this experience, you met yourself and expanded your consciousness some. Your awareness also expands as this happens. It's important you don't fill it with anything that is not worthy of it. Fill it up with Confucius. Read Proverbs. Read the book, As a Man Thinketh by James Allen. LINK Here is a great audio book. LINK Whatever you do, have your parents read the material first. I paid my son $100 to read, highlight and circle words he didn't know in the book As a Man Thinketh. He read it six times after the $100.
edit on 16-5-2011 by SuperiorEd because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 06:51 PM
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Kids, my age are immature that is why I stopped being bothered with my friends! They're lazy and don't know what is going on in the world! I thought I had a mental breakdown, sounds like a mental awakening.



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 06:54 PM
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Originally posted by MJZoo

Originally posted by Heartisblack
Am I crazy or sane ?


Sounds like a healthy dose of puberty if you ask me.
Hormones can play hell on your mind.
lmao s for you my funny friend. Sounds like you may of had a break down or somesort of fit. Tell your parents to be on the safe side. You shouldnt be having breakdowns at your age.



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 06:57 PM
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You sound very much like me when I was 14 years old.

Your environmental conditions determine your view on life - for me, I was overweight and bullied, so I retreated into a world of sci-fi and fantasy.

I read constantly, and wrote poetry - I was a loner, and I had fantasies of grandeur, and rising above the normality and depression of life.

In my honest opinion, these early thoughts shaped me into the man I am today. I am an extremely successful businessman, and have a very level and clear head. In all fairness (without trying to blow my own trumpet), people are always asking me for advice on what to do with their life.

The point I'm trying to get at; stay unique!, but make sure you use this energy to fuel yourself to achieve greater things.

If you love writing, then write til your fingers bleed - seek critiques, learn techniques, explore, grow.

You'll be fine



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 07:02 PM
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There are several types of people in the world. Some people never meet their 'self' and stay immature all their lives. Some people progress slowly and don't bother to explore what the self is. Others actively seek truth. These are the seekers in life.

You have three parts to who you are. You have your mind (Spirit). You have the subconscious (Law / Regulating systems). You have your body. The mind tells the subconscious what to do. The body is created and regulated by the subconscious. When is the last time you told your hair to grow? When is the last time you activated the cones and rods in your eyes? This is the job of the subconscious.

The subconscious acts two directions. It tells your body what to do and it tries to tell you what to do. If you allow this, you are controlled by the subconscious and not the mind. This is emotion over intellect. Impenetrability says that no object can occupy the same space of another object. If the emotion is stronger than the intellect (Mind / Spirit), then it wins. If the mind is stronger than the emotion (5 senses), then it wins and the subconscious obeys. This is called equanimity. Equal balance of the mind, soul and body.

To gain Atonement, you need to place your mind in the drivers seat for all choices. The more you fill your mind with good things, the better it can drive your consciousness. There is a problem with this. You are not capable of fully managing your spirit. No human is. Some are better than others. The entire point of Christ dieing on the cross was so that His Spirit (The Holy Spirit) can enter your being and transform your mind, soul and spirit. This is the Atonement spoken of in the Bible. At-One-Ment. Doubt, hatred and bias against God keeps this from ever happening. Luke 10 explains this. You must love God and love your neighbor. Your neighbor is even your enemies.

Good luck. I'm sure others will convince you that I am not telling you the truth. Fortunately for you and I, the flow of truth cannot be held back. It is a raging stream. Once you take a dip, you are there forever.


Originally posted by Heartisblack
Kids, my age are immature that is why I stopped being bothered with my friends! They're lazy and don't know what is going on in the world! I thought I had a mental breakdown, sounds like a mental awakening.

edit on 16-5-2011 by SuperiorEd because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 07:04 PM
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reply to post by Heartisblack
 


Is a hormonal rush, dear, it happens, you are full with them right now and all going wild, wait when your testosterone start to go down the hill, in middle age, at that time you will have another brain storm and this time is going to be all about how close your are to senility.



Seriously hon, is just hormonal rush enjoy it while it last and stay away from processed foods and junk.



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 07:05 PM
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Aliens are within us....


You are right, some call them angels or demons. They are real. Try to find out what "the plan" of "them" is. As far as i know, there is a faith or destiny, that they are giving to you. it is hard to see what their plan is, because they are non-human being with totally different ways of operating. But if you watch with that in your mind, you might see what they are up to. what they "want" for you and your life. if they are just hostile and destructive, you have to defend yourself with your demand for your given right to stay healthy and not to suffer. because "they" do not have the right to harm you in any ways.



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 07:09 PM
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Originally posted by marg6043
reply to post by Heartisblack
 


Is a hormonal rush, dear, it happens, you are full with them right now and all going wild, wait when your testosterone start to go down the hill, in middle age, at that time you will have another brain storm and this time is going to be all about how close your are to senility.



Seriously hon, is just hormonal rush enjoy it while it last and stay away from processed foods and junk.


I'm female and I live on health food, haven't had a bag of chips since I was 11



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 07:12 PM
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Originally posted by Heartisblack
My breakdown had been coming for weeks, I was anticipating it. A mix of lack of sleep, haven't been eating much and stress. Every time I stood up to go into the hallway of my house, I'd get dizzy and see shadow people shuffling into my deceased grandmother's room. I didn't know what was wrong with me.

I screamed, cried and nearly passed out from lack-of-air.


Okay, so you're oxygen, sleep, and nutrient deprived....and people are saying this is just hormones


It sounds more like you're purposely seeking attention, but in a self destructive way. You tell yourself you don't need help, "I'm okay", but that's not the truth and we both know that. You're here on this forum screaming for help, and/or attention. You're not alone. MANY are in need of help. Many souls are suffering these days.

It's up to you what you want to do with your life. If you want to be creative, channeling this madness isn't necessarily a bad route. Just make sure you're strong minded enough to not totally skitz out and do something that lends you in jail, else another family torn apart. Just be happy you're able to deprive yourself so much and stay somewhat sane. Some creative people are naturally so bonkers that to do what you've done might just push them over the edge for good.


PS, it doesn't matter what people here say...these shadow people are obviously a hallucination and a product of a nutritionally deprived mind going slightly bonkers. Been there, done that. The experience does lose it's fun-factor after a while. Enjoy it while it lasts, and please be safe.



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 07:13 PM
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What is your religious background? What about the background of your family?

Maybe you were attempting to project another belief system (maybe that of your parents) onto what you experience in your own life? Meaning the things you see are deemed evil and demonic them but a part of you was conflicted because you knew that there was a possibility that they weren't?
edit on 16-5-2011 by cry93 because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 07:14 PM
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I think that nothing happens by accident. The fact that we are all here discussing this represents purpose. Synchronicity always leads us on the path of life. Nothing is wasted. All of life is choice, chance and the actions of others. Chance, as we incorrectly call it, is providence. This is the guiding hand of God in our lives. This makes all of life choice; either ours or others. God is one of the others. Love and bestowal is always His purpose. Hormones or not, it's no accident. I think you are right though. Hormones are light too much light on a delicate flower. In this case, a great analogy.


Originally posted by marg6043
reply to post by Heartisblack
 


Is a hormonal rush, dear, it happens, you are full with them right now and all going wild, wait when your testosterone start to go down the hill, in middle age, at that time you will have another brain storm and this time is going to be all about how close your are to senility.



Seriously hon, is just hormonal rush enjoy it while it last and stay away from processed foods and junk.



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 07:16 PM
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Originally posted by cry93
What is your religious background? What about the background of your family?

Maybe you were attempting to project another belief system (maybe that of your parents) onto what you experience in your own life? Meaning the things you see are deemed evil and demonic them but a part of your was conflicted because you knew that there was a possibility that they weren't?
I used to be Christian, half there and half not.



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 07:17 PM
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reply to post by Heartisblack
 


Instead of trying to define what happend, USE what happened.
Your experiences are like fuel ...



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 07:17 PM
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It might be interesting to view this another way. Perhaps the deprivation of needs triggered a deep state of awareness. This is the path that is suggested by most shamans. Empty the soul and get into a deep state of stillness. People do this every day when the fast and meditate. Deprivation of the 'self' is the key starting point for expanding awareness and consciousness. Interesting.


Originally posted by unityemissions

Originally posted by Heartisblack
My breakdown had been coming for weeks, I was anticipating it. A mix of lack of sleep, haven't been eating much and stress. Every time I stood up to go into the hallway of my house, I'd get dizzy and see shadow people shuffling into my deceased grandmother's room. I didn't know what was wrong with me.

I screamed, cried and nearly passed out from lack-of-air.


Okay, so you're oxygen, sleep, and nutrient deprived....and people are saying this is just hormones


It sounds more like you're purposely seeking attention, but in a self destructive way. You tell yourself you don't need help, "I'm okay", but that's not the truth and we both know that. You're here on this forum screaming for help, and/or attention. You're not alone. MANY are in need of help. Many souls are suffering these days.

It's up to you what you want to do with your life. If you want to be creative, channeling this madness isn't necessarily a bad route. Just make sure you're strong minded enough to not totally skitz out and do something that lends you in jail, else another family torn apart. Just be happy you're able to deprive yourself so much and stay somewhat sane. Some creative people are naturally so bonkers that to do what you've done might just push them over the edge for good.


PS, it doesn't matter what people here say...these shadow people are obviously a hallucination and a product of a nutritionally deprived mind going slightly bonkers. Been there, done that. The experience does lose it's fun-factor after a while. Enjoy it while it lasts, and please be safe.



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 07:19 PM
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You are awesome! That's a great comment. I spend my life following synchronicity. This is how I found this thread. "Experiences are like fuel." I am going to remember that quote.


Originally posted by Danjya
reply to post by Heartisblack
 


Instead of trying to define what happend, USE what happened.
Your experiences are like fuel ...



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 07:20 PM
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Originally posted by SuperiorEd

It might be interesting to view this another way. Perhaps the deprivation of needs triggered a deep state of awareness. This is the path that is suggested by most shamans. Empty the soul and get into a deep state of stillness. People do this every day when the fast and meditate. Deprivation of the 'self' is the key starting point for expanding awareness and consciousness. Interesting.


Very, very bad juju. Don't listen to this rubbish, people.

Dangerous nonsense, here.

Fasting is useful to empty the colon, and repopulate it with more beneficial bacteria. No more.



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 07:24 PM
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A glass that is half water is still full. Get rid of the air and it's still full. God chooses you as much as you choose Him. No accidents in this life. The ocean is more than the surface and waves.

Discourses of Rumi

"It is a pity to reach the ocean, and to be satisfied
with a little pitcherful from the sea. After all,
there are pearls in the sea, and from the sea come
a myriad of precious things. What is the value in
just taking water? What pride can intelligent people
have in that? This world is a mere foam fleck
of the True Sea. That Ocean is the science of the
saints, and within that Water is the Pearl Itself."



Originally posted by Heartisblack

Originally posted by cry93
What is your religious background? What about the background of your family?

Maybe you were attempting to project another belief system (maybe that of your parents) onto what you experience in your own life? Meaning the things you see are deemed evil and demonic them but a part of your was conflicted because you knew that there was a possibility that they weren't?
I used to be Christian, half there and half not.



posted on May, 16 2011 @ 07:28 PM
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RUMI

Now test yourself as to weeping and laughter,
fasting and prayer, solitude and company, and the
rest. Which of these is more profitable to you?
Whichever brings you straighter on the road and
gains you the greatest advancement, choose that
task. Take counsel from your heart, even though
others may disagree. The truth is within you.
Compare it with what others say. When they
agree, then follow that course.


Originally posted by unityemissions

Originally posted by SuperiorEd

It might be interesting to view this another way. Perhaps the deprivation of needs triggered a deep state of awareness. This is the path that is suggested by most shamans. Empty the soul and get into a deep state of stillness. People do this every day when the fast and meditate. Deprivation of the 'self' is the key starting point for expanding awareness and consciousness. Interesting.


Very, very bad juju. Don't listen to this rubbish, people.

Dangerous nonsense, here.

Fasting is useful to empty the colon, and repopulate it with more beneficial bacteria. No more.

edit on 16-5-2011 by SuperiorEd because: (no reason given)




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