Mods, please feel free to put into the appropriate forum as I felt it could have been in military, social issues, predictions or general
conspiracies. Maybe it should be put into ALL of them?...
Today, I decided to present to you the shorts history
in a brief and insightful résumé.
At the beginning, people were naked, so we will skip over that period and also skip the togas, robes and kilts period of human's dressing.
Well, the name sums it up pretty good. It was a clothing from the waist to the knees, an sometimes to the ankles, with separate coverings for each
legs. Breeches is a double plural
word(s?) that covers separately its own definition.
For those having problems to image words, I added a picture. ( I have to admit I couldn't find any photography of breeches prior to the modern one
you will see. I didn't look hard for it, I'll confess, but it could be a military conspiracy, more on it later, as in a few more words later...
Then we were blessed with the sensuality of knickerbockers
... If you have been alive in the last ten years and more, you might have heard of
an actor named Johnny Depp who played a pirate in popular movie whose story is based in the Caribbeans.
Why do you believe Mr. Depp wants to play again and again the role of that pirate? Because of the millions? The Fame? Nope. It's all
Just look at Johnny go...
Well... Obviously, he's not going anywhere, and we don't see his knickerbockers, BUT, he's with Penelope Cruz!!!
The next images ARE
Eh! What did I tell you about the knickerbockers's sensuality...? This one is made of beige velvet.
What more could a man want? Oh, they
were also the trends of golfers...
No, sillies! These are not pants for the knees, these are almost shorts for the legs!
Yet, despite being classy, they were also boring. Look... the pic is in black in white... I mean, come on!
Next, please! And the last, by the way!
Just like you did at the moment, when I fell on this piece of information, about the Bermuda Shorts, I thought; "Could they be proof of an alternate
reality?" From what seems evident, er, no, the Bermuda Triangle has nothing to do with its sudden apparition in the lives of humans.
It is the Military of the British Empire that did!
I told you there was a conspiracy beneath it all! Shorts came from the country where resides interdimensional reptilians! Why the Bermuda
Soldiers posted there were sweating so much from the heat that they began cutting there... what was the name for pants, then?...
Anyway, the British Military decided to issue "standard issue" Bermuda Shorts for the military personnel posted in hot, sweaty countries.
Here is a leaked photograph of what is not necessarily considered to be the first pictured Military BS.
Alas, as for every military technology, civilians ended up doing the same, presumably for the same reasons.
Today, there is a Fashion Conspiracy that took the relay, forcing us to look constantly for new kinds of shorts, in this true fake Global Warming of
the globe. The one positive aspect of this technology; it helps to feel somewhat refreshed, but adversely also exposes a lot more skin to the
Following are examples of civilian shorts, now also wore by women. ( After make-up, robes, and wigs, they also had to take this from men!... )
( It looks like my bathroom carpet! )
Circuit Board Shorts
( It may be me, but I fail to see the boy here... )
To be fair to everyone, here's one for the ladies...
...and another one for pigs... er, men...
As a last note, it seems there is a strange habit that has taken roots in the USA, at first, then worldwide, for the last 25 years. That of eating
shorts, can you believe that?...
For the faint of heart, I've hidden the identity of the person in the next picture. I've posted it a bit further down so you can opt out of
watching it... You were warned...
Now you have no excuse for ignoring the shorts story.