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My Latest Poem - I really like it.. written with real inspiration (not forced)

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posted on May, 14 2011 @ 12:34 PM
I read a poem called Lady Shalott just 15 minutes ago, and I couldn't help myself, I had to write something..
Which is nice, because I usually don't write that often - but luckily, my inspiration has been flowing lately.

This is about the Lovers.. not written wholly from the perspective of the Tarot, but alchemy, the law of attraction, romantic love and ego death does seem to be the main themes.

I really hope you all like it, it's probably my best material yet, I've only been writing for a year or so though so it's not like I have a huge body of work to compete with.

So without further ado:

Dear Page of Pentacles

The Lady of Shalott my friend - never to be seen again
Dancing in a field of joy
Caring not what she destroy
Cause out of fire water burns
For foolish men that dare to yearn

I calmy collect my skeleton dust
To put it in a urn with lust
Oh how long I've waited for this time
I never dreamed you would be mine
Took a look and saw your stare
Never thought you'd end up in my lair

Playing chess in our minds with you
Back and forth we fence, so true

Poison stinging in the mind, painful even when behind
Scorpio to death of time, never do you seem to mind
Coming like a wind to blow

Blowing the perfect paradox
Sharpness in your eyes, you're clever like a fox
Mystic seer tell me what
What sensual feelings do you plot?
I often wonder when I drift
Alien dreamtime when I shift?
Out of time like melting clocks
In to mystery like Spooky Fox
Are you truly made for me?
Tell me Sun I want to be
Near and far with you - you see

Watching you from afar with great passion
Noting how you weave your life in godly fashion
Smart and balanced like a Libra
Never thought you'd find your Tiger?
Here I am so brace for danger
Have you never seen a ranger?
Wandering to you in the dusk
Leaving body like a husk

Weaving fate in unknowing bliss
Never knew what you could miss

Soon it's time to meet again
And I will plant the seed,
Dear friend

(the Lovers)

I also want to ask the ladies: do you think it would be foolish of me to show this poem to the girl it's dedicated to?
Of course, knowing women.. I would never show it too early, I would have to show it in 'the perfect moment it was created for', if you know what I mean?

Anyway, enjoy, disparage or critique, you decide, is this mystique?

posted on May, 14 2011 @ 01:07 PM
WOW, I am at a loss right now...Its beautiful and yes give and give away when the moment is right. Thank you so much for sharing such beauty!

posted on May, 14 2011 @ 02:52 PM
I love it! It shows great passion and insight....she will love it as well!

posted on May, 14 2011 @ 03:17 PM
Amazing read, you could really feel the passion in your words.

I have tried my hand at poetry and learned that the best that you can write only come to you through patience rather than pushing yourself to create something.

Here is my best:

A subject we all know too dear,
Future pain we must all feel.
Sorrow and fear oh so near,
Death by-god has come here.

We lay a flower on the grave,
Watching whilst it too is taken away.
Gentle breeze washing through,
Joy and sunshine so-far removed.

For the brightest light appears dim,
Death we know has already been.
Taken away a body of love,
Nothing remains to hug.

Bringing the strongest man to his knees,
Beginning and pleading to let him leave.
Alone in his silence,
Broken and peeved.

Death cometh as it will,
Behind is left a path of hell.
For no cry, plead, desire, or prayer,
Can bring your loved one back from there.

A few poems I wrote

Was there any particular art, music, or literature that you were occupying your time with at the moment inspiration for this poem came to you?

posted on May, 15 2011 @ 03:25 PM
Thanks for the replies - I'm flattered =)

reply to post by Misoir

I like your poem, it's great, but I kind of disagree with your assertion.

Personally I never get anywhere by pushing myself, so I agree with that..
It's the patience part I can't agree with, when I write I just sort of enter some kind of 'trance' like state.. a word, a song or a movie creates a feeling(combination of thought and emotion) that makes my mind come up with something, a word, or two-three, a sentence.. that inspires me.
And then I begin.. and it all flows out, if I get stuck.. I just leave it at that- or I start working on another part of the poem, I then sort of rearrange it, working on different parts until I'm satisfied and then I tie it all together.

Hmmm.. I can't put my finger on any specific inspiration, except maybe alchemy.. I was listening to this:

Mixed with, this:

Listening to the metal in low volume in the background.. creating "stress", or a "violent tempo" - while the meditation music, turned up on a higher volume with lots of bass.. sort of mellows out the metal.
I then play around with the volume levels on both songs until I'm satisfied..


I just realized my main inspiration was the poem called Lady Shalott, I didn't read the whole thing.. didn't have to, before inspiration struck me.

So I guess my main inspiration was Lady Shalott, Alchemy, "Astrology meditation music" and Warhammer 40.000 - the best fictional universe ever(Bolt Thrower - Realm of Chaos)..

Nothing inspires me the way 40k does(, and nothing in 40k inspires me the way Eldar(Space Elves)( and Chaos(; does..

Just reading some material would get my inspirational juices flowing.

posted on May, 15 2011 @ 03:45 PM
Ohhh... again, I almost forgot, I'm whimsical today..

I wrote two new poems instantly after creating this thread, here they are:

I actually like these better, or at least the first one - which is kind of a continued version of the first, but more compact, less confusing and more to the point, it details my first real 'date'(we don't use that expression or even that concept in Sweden, we sort of just linger around each other- it's good because there's no obligation to pay for a date
) with the girl I like..

The other one, well, it's dark.. my first dark poem I guess.. I realized after writing it, that it's about Planet X and the Apocalypse.. don't ask why, I don't even know..

Candle lit dinner
Teasing and laughter
You smile, I smile
Melting in union with stars dancing on the ceiling
It's a wonderful feeling
Victory and boldness,
no longer shoulders of coldness
I'll warm you
Take care of you when you feel the need
I'll be there in speed
Laying on persian mats, midnight blue
Like the planetarium, reflecting on our hue
Rays of light creating illusion of flight
With power and might, seemingly false
But really real
It's a delight
A chance for greatness magic and true sight
Jupiter's gift to the Lion
Descended from Kings, a true scion
With Venus in the picture can defeat really exist?
I wonder
As we dance unknowingly into the mist....

And the 2nd one:

I have to set the tone first,
*Brooding music*
*Necromancer speaking with a slow raspy(like the rattling of dry bones or like the wind in a graveyard) yet dignified old english accent*

The symbols are in place
To wake the undead from the grave

The Necromancer takes his place at the altar stand
Performing rituals with his hand
He's the damned
The ever living ghoul
The Cosmic Fool
The Annihiliator
Refraining from the Golden Rule

Portals shifting in cycles like the moon
Supernatural green embers fill the room
Vacant chuches & gargoyles staring at the stars
Watching this ungodly comedy, a heavenly farce
Foolish men yearning for peace
Never knowing
Their mind will never be at ease

This is the tomb
The final resting place
These are the last days
Daemons come to feed on living flesh and doom
Fear strikes
Coldness envelops the darkness in the room
Ancient sigils wake to life
With the power of inverted light
Shifting shadows
Only living for the night
Clawing, scratching at your life
Not even God himself could win this fight

Claws scratching windows while you're trying to sleep
Incantations & whispers,
coming from the deep
Is this what you seek?
Knowledge is entombed
Surrounded by darkness, fear and death
Choose wisely, before you decide to take that final step.....


.... rolling on the floor.....
You? Never to be seen, anymore...

/Dark Eldar Aristocrat Black Hat

I'll probably try writing a poem about all the ATS subjects rolled up into one next.., but don't hold your breath, I'm lazy and unreliable like that. I'll give it a try when inspiration strikes though.

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