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Everything You Wanted to Know About Semen-Collecting Robots (and Then Some)

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posted on May, 10 2011 @ 11:38 AM
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Ever since last month’s China International Medical Equipment Fair in Shenzhen, China, a curious video (above) has been spreading across the blogosphere. The gadget in question is apparently an automatic sperm collector, an all-in-one machine into which men can donate sperm (hands-free). The video treats the entire subject in a rather ridiculous manner, raising two questions: How does this gadget actually work? And does anyone actually use them? Today, there are in fact several companies selling automatic sperm collectors on the internet. Your average sperm-collecting gadget consists of a kiosk with a monitor that provides stimulating visuals (!), complimented by sounds (!!). A little lower is a “semen-collection sheath,” which purportedly simulates the feel and movement of a vagina.On top of visual stimuli, another company says that their gadget uses “infrared heating to simulate the temperature of female vagina [sic],” which consists of two inflatable tire-like structures. Once enveloping a penis, the sheath continues vibrating until the man, er… successfully donates his sperm. The robotic sperm collector apparently has a “high success rate of 95%.”


source

Not exactly sure what to say about this




posted on May, 10 2011 @ 11:41 AM
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reply to post by iforget
 


It looks like a glorified vacuum cleaner.

Couldn't they find an easier way to do this?
I can think of a couple. . .



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 11:42 AM
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I guess ATS should buy one and rent it to it's woman-less "members"....lol....
edit on 10-5-2011 by Caji316 because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 11:42 AM
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reply to post by iforget
 


Explanation: S&F!

Personal Disclosure: It's clearly a seminal victory for science and robotics and hands free semen donation!



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 11:44 AM
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reply to post by AnteBellum
 


Looks like a coffee maker to me hope no one gets confused between the two
(it's the creamer)



I have always read they have a vending machine for everything in Japan I guess they weren't joking



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 11:45 AM
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reply to post by AnteBellum
 




Couldn't they find an easier way to do this?
I can think of a couple. . .
I can think of one. The person in your avatar.


Jokes aside, that's a pretty silly contraption.
It would feel weird and certainly not turn me on.



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 11:45 AM
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Some things are best done the old fashioned way.



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 11:48 AM
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The old "BallPark Franks" commercial comes to mind...you know...where the wieners put dents in the grill...



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 11:48 AM
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I would like to purchase two , please!



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 11:57 AM
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The Chinese people who are involved with this machine are probably going to mix all the sperm together and make a super human lmao.



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 12:03 PM
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It would probably just break my heart and run away with my television anyways.



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 02:26 PM
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reply to post by iforget
 
That looks quite costly compared to handing the guy a plastic cup and an adult magazine


But the Japanese have toilets that play music and wipe your butt when you're finished, so leave it to them to think of advanced technology to take care of your every need!


On the more practical side of the issue, do you really think a guy wants to use that thing after 1000 other guys have used it? Can they really get it clean enough between uses?



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 02:31 PM
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Wow this whole hands free/easy life technology thing is getting a bit ridiculous. Too tired to cook dinner? Call for a pizza delivery. Hate stairs? Ride an elevator. Hate all the work and mess involved with donating your sperm? Use the Sperm collector 3000.
What else are we going to be too lazy to do lol?



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 02:33 PM
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Well, it that works out well....

Maybe it can be connected up to help out here:

Controversial Ideas: Does Semen Act As an Antidepressant to the Recipient?,
www.abovetopsecret.com...



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 02:42 PM
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come on now, considering the fact that most chinese men are far shorter, does this mean i'll have to get on my knees to donate?
the sure can't get a mens XX large shirt right, the sleeves are always to short.



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 02:43 PM
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I'm only slightly disturbed.



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 04:09 PM
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Looks like a mighty small opening. Are they planning to come out with the adult version or is that what works for them over there?



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 08:43 PM
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all i can picture is goldbloom in Jurassic park talking about the dinos and comparing it to the pirates of Caribbean ride where the pirates dont come to life and kill everyone


i mean imagine the lawsuits when one of those things breaks while in use

that could be some serious damage right



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 08:55 PM
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Somebody call "Woody" Allen!

They finally invented the Orgasmatron!"


So if they make this thing coin operated, does it count as prostitution?


I could see them put one of these things in every high school boys locker room in the nation. Just think how much it would cut down on sexual harassment of high school girls!

Just think of how many "donations" they could get in just a few days!

Thine cup runneth over!



posted on May, 10 2011 @ 09:08 PM
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Who would ever believe me if I told them I caught herpes from a robot?!?!

My Doctor would never stop laughing at me!



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