Basically, the guy runs the world. But in true Illuminati tradition, you'd never know it to look at him.
Nor would the untrained
eye even see it in his vanilla bio.
But I've been up a while drinking coffee and I'm seeing things much clearer now. For the restricted forum only, I submit your Illuminati Master.
[Corrections in brackets
Michael Badnarik - A Short Biography
Pronunciation: Bad när' ik
(a as in "ago", ä as in "car", i as in "is")
[Googling "ago-car-is" first returns a 1952 Studebaker StarLight from Lake Geneva painted Venice Red. Recently
sold. The Illuminati approve.
Born August 1, 1954 [under the Illuminati banner of Revolutionary French cyclist Louison Bobet rewinning the Tour De France
] in Hammond,
Indiana. Parents, John (retired from the oil-refinery and steel-mill industries) [Duh!
] and Elaine (a retired executive secretary), still live
in Indiana in a house they built when Michael was two years old [on an Indian graveyard
]. Two younger (but much taller) [hetero
brothers, Chuck and Steve; both married [being the straight ones
] and living in neighboring Midwest states (Southfield, MI, and Aurora, IL,
respectively) [unlike "confirmed bachelor" Michael
Joined the Cub Scouts at age 6 [undercover
] and began marching in Independence Day parades [now marching in any parade he can find:
], where later as a Boy Scout he carried the American flag (a task that he undertook with great dignity and respect) [while setting
]. Achieved the rank of Life Scout and missed his Eagle badge by only three merit badges [because Eagle Scouts aren't allowed near real
]. Served as assistant Scoutmaster in Bloomington (in college) [that's just creepy
], and as an adult Scout leader for a total of ten
years [off the chart creepy, still single right?
]. (Cites his favorite part as helping Scouts to achieve their Citizenship merit badges)
[and reading them Alister Crowley poetry
Enrolled in 1972 at Indiana University in Bloomington [located at 39°9'44" North; 86°31'45" West, or the Hub of Enlightenment as proven by
manic numeric Illumination correlation representing the coordinates as seperate components multiplied, reversed than divided (119970/15444) equaling
(1)7.76 aka (1776) or 7.77 the numerical representation of man's potential
] as a Marine Biology major [seeking Atlantis
] (with dreams of
sailing the oceans with Jacques Cousteau) [ah ha ha, he really said that; sorry
]; later switched to Chemistry as a more practical career path
[for making pipe bombs to spread his anarchist vision
While in college, served as volunteer [double agent
] for American Red Cross and as an Advanced First Aid instructor, CPR instructor, Water
Safety Instructor trainer, and chairman of the Bloomington Volunteers and Disaster Action Teams [to get acquainted with response times to perfect
his specialty: a second larger bomb for first responders
Hobbies include photography [blackmail
] (including darkroom developing) [porn
], camping, sailing, canoeing, mountain-climbing,
scuba-diving1 (starting at age 12), skydiving2, hang-gliding, snow-skiing1, shooting1 (pistol, rifle and bow-and-arrow) [assassignation
motorcycling [your basic James Bond Illuminati stuff
]. He also enjoys exploring all types of [secret rooms in
] museums and libraries
[to unravel the Davinci Code in his quest for Ultimate Power
Became interested in the U.S. Constitution in 1983 and began a life-long journey in self-study of this founding document of the country he is so proud
to call his home [and sworn enemy
Became a Computer Programmer in 1977 for Commonwealth Edison at their nuclear power plant in Zion [this is TOO EASY!
], Illinois; taught control
room operators about computers [and hygene
]. Was promoted to Senior Software Engineer for their Braidwood Nuclear Simulator project, which he
managed from '82-'85 (his favorite job assignment, basically a $6-million "computer game" for which he was totally responsible).
Moved to Montebello, CA, and held a "secret security" ["secret" in quotes makes it's sinister implications "cutesy"
] clearance at
Northrop to work on the Stealth Bomber simulator, '85-'87 [training Muslim extremists
[Was fired and
] Relocated to San Luis Obispo, CA, in 1987 as a System Administrator and computer trainer at PG&E's Diablo Canyon nuclear
plant; spent 10 years as a member of the Applied Technology Services Team writing software [viruses
] and traveling the state installing
real-time data-collection servers [spyware
] to their remote power stations; was an instructor for hundreds of employees teaching
state-of-the-art systems being installed [and recruiting his vast Internet Army of Discord
Moved to Austin, TX, in 1997 where he was a programmer and a trainer for Evolutionary [anti-Creationist
] Technologies International. He quickly
became the Senior Trainer and began traveling across the U.S., and to Canada, England and Australia [making crop circles everywhere he went
as instructor, consultant and "high-tech diplomat" [to the Reptilians
Became an independent computer consultant in 2001 [downsized
], but began to turn his attention (and talents as an instructor and communicator
]) to teaching his 8-hour [brainwashing seminar
] "Introduction to the Constitution" class.
Was elected Executive Vice-President of his dormitory at Indiana University [ah ha ha, sorry
], and became a BMOC ('big man on campus') known
for getting things done [with ruthless efficiency
], while always maintaining the high principles instilled by his parents [Oil and
Was put-off by the "politics of politics" [turned away by both Democrats and Republicans
] until his greater understanding of the Constitution
] led him to [be tapped for
] the Libertarian Party [Illuminati
], and a renewed optimism [for world
Libertarian candidate for Texas House of Representatives (Austin-area) in 2000 [lost
] and 2002 [lost again!
]. Made official announcement
as a candidate for the Libertarian Party presidential nomination on February 17, 2003 (Presidents' Day) [under the Illuminati headline of NWO
owned Time Magazine's cover "The Secret of Life"
] and traveled over 25,000 miles across
the U.S. in the 15 months [25,000 / 15 = 1666.666
] leading up to the Libertarian Party National Convention in Atlanta [symbolized by a
Phoenix being reborn of fiery destruction
] and his nomination victory on May 30, 2004 [the 136th anniversary of Commander in Chief John A.
Logan of the Grand Army of the Republic issuing General Order Number 11 designating May 30 as a memorial day "for the purpose of strewing with
flowers or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died" in the name of revolution for revolution's sake
be the death of us all.
[Edited on 2-8-2004 by RANT]