posted on May, 7 2011 @ 02:47 PM
*receives ticket in the mail for Possession of Marijuana*
*reads* On Dec 1, 2015, our surveillance cameras caught you smoking a tobacco like substance behind the Exxon Mobile station between Macy's and
Walgreens. If this was not you, please report to your local police authorities. If this was you, please report to your local police authorities or
receive a bench warrant, in which, if you are noted by police officials and have not turned yourself in, you will be detained. We are trying to keep
crime off the streets for your protection. Please obey the laws and you will be safe. *trashes garbage gov't claim*
*2 days later walking into a local publix*
Officer standing by the door as if expecting JD: Exuse me sir, are you Mr. John Doe?
JD: Yeah what's up?
Officer: Yes, I saw you were walking down the street. Our extremely advanced security system saw you and face-detected your face and matched it to
your facebook picture on your facebook account, which the government can use as a database for your protection. According to your statuses and our
advanced super security system installed for your protection, you were in possession of Marijuana.. I'm going to ask you to not resist because if you
resist, it's just going to get worse, and we're going to have to diagnose you as a possible trafficker for terrorist and treat you immediately.
*JD runs away, officer, with a sadistic face, robotically pulls his radio off his shoulder*
Officer: He's running, over
*JDs Phone rings*
JD: *panting* Hello?!
Phone: [calm, professional, threatening voice] Mr. John. If you continue going north you're going to reach the river where we have national security
on boats. South is full of cameras, East is the mall with more cameras, and don't go west, there's a National Security Station there.You dont have
to make this difficult for us... Remember all your friends... Don't make us come chase you or it will be wor...
*throws phone and continues running*
*JD jumps a 1,000 foot gap over the river and pulls out 2 m4 carbines out of no where.*
WELCOME TO THE MATRIX