This inherent, all consuming feeling of "waiting" - but for what?

I'd like to consider myself a fairly successful, well adjusted human being - I don't have any major hangups or issues.

In fact, from the outside, I'd dare say I have the idealistic "perfect" life.

My fiance and I are self made millionaires - we own a large investment portfolio, run a very successful business, we are both fitness fanatics (I train 4+ hours a day).

We are well educated, attractive, have a great group of friends, are very respected in our community - we are still young (30 years old each), and do pretty much whatever we want, whenever we want to.

I've achieved everything I wanted to in life - scored in the top 5% throughout school - did not attend university, but instead joined the military, and ended up in the Commando regiment, and spent time serving in East Timor and Afghanistan.

I am not in a position where I find myself waiting ... and the "for what" question is plaguing me.

I feel as though there is a package which is sold to us all when we are growing up - this package consists of the popularized ideal of "making it", and achieving your goals.

The trouble is - what does one do when they make it? It's like finishing a game that's meant to take 40 years in 10 years ... I'm left looking down the barrel of the next 30 years, not having a clue what to do.

Normally you can ask advice from friends or family - but I don't know anyone else in my position.

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not whinging or complaining about being in this position - I'm just throwing the question out there to see if anyone else is in the same boat?

Or, even better - what would people suggest is a worthy cause to embark on? Considerable assets, youth, and a strong desire to do "something" which has a purpose.

This may just fade into the ass end of ATS, but maybe, just maybe, someone will read this and post an insightful reply.

*with baited breath* ....

Sounds like you're in a real terrible position. Congratulations.

[2nd]

Originally posted by Mactire
Sounds like you're in a real terrible position. Congratulations.

[2nd]

Thanks for being insightful enough to understand what I'm saying, and providing your incredibly astute and intellectual contribution.

3rd (wtf)

reply to post by ExCommando


You're more than welcome to invest in my business so that I can reach the same level you're at and pass it forward to the next person in my position.

reply to post by ExCommando


Just from an outsiders perspective, it sounds as though you are waiting to make a difference. I realize that you have been in the military and that is wonderful, thank you. But I mean make an ever lasting impression on someone or something. In your spare time do you volunteer? Do you have children?

I'm sorry, fella, but your thread reads more like a boast than a crisis.
If you've achieved everything you want in life and now find yourself staring down the end of a barrel with no clue as to what you should do, then you're not as fullfilled as you claim.
Being a millionaire, there are limitless things you can do to invest your time and money in; travel, educate, donate, etc.
If you're through with your hopes and dreams, create some new ones.... help somebody with theirs.
You could ditch everything and start from scratch, see if you can do it again, better, faster.
70% of success is "right place/right time", but some people, no matter how intelligent or qualified will never be in that special place at that special time and will spend their lives in misery because they know they have what it takes, but no connections or help to get there. You could be that person, that stepping stone. I don't mean to come across as a cold hearted ass, but I just can't warm up to the 'woe is me millionaire archtype'. I've seen too many talented people stomped on and never given the time of day to feel sorry for the guy that [admittedly] has everything.

reply to post by ExCommando


Hi mate,

I've seen a number of people in your current situation in life, and understand how it can seem so difficult for direction when there are no restrictions to your actions and choices.

But, you are in an envious position my friend where once you know what you want to do, you can just go and do it. No one here can answer your question... only you can. So work with ways to get the answer out into the open for you to see.

So, as an example, sit down with pen and paper and start writting down ALL the ideas that come into your mind when you ask yourself, "What do I really want to do with my Life?" Really allow yourself to get into the Feeling of the Question you are asking.

When finished you may have a list of a few things that at first you may want to discard. But, look at each one individually for their own merit. One of the things on the list will be what you Want to Do.. and some may dovetail together to form a bigger picture showing a direction.

Most people never do what they really want deep down inside to do in the world. You are in a position where lack of limitation is a bonus.. even if you take a completely new direction to anything you have done before.

Lastly, you have to Enjoy what you do.. so anything on that list which provides real feelings of Joy is something to look further into.

Have you considered Philantrophy? The meaning and action behind it will unfold so many levels of your development that having a materialistic outlook would become meaningless.

If you look for that package deal. It is not going to be in this plane of existance, but in the divine.

If you have acomplished all that you seek to do in this reality. Then acomplish finding your true identity and then you will see, all is but a dream.

reply to post by ExCommando


Sounds like with all of your "apparent" success, it may not be all that successful.
I have those waiting gaps at night for a few hours after the sub goes down, but as soon as the sun comes up i know what to do and where to go.
Get out more often.
Go see things, even if it is just a field. you will find something new everyday.
I would say have a kid and sink yourself into parenting but, i dunno these days.
Hope it helps.

Originally posted by Mactire
I'm sorry, fella, but your thread reads more like a boast than a crisis.
If you've achieved everything you want in life and now find yourself staring down the end of a barrel with no clue as to what you should do, then you're not as fullfilled as you claim.
Being a millionaire, there are limitless things you can do to invest your time and money in; travel, educate, donate, etc.
If you're through with your hopes and dreams, create some new ones.... help somebody with theirs.
You could ditch everything and start from scratch, see if you can do it again, better, faster.
70% of success is "right place/right time", but some people, no matter how intelligent or qualified will never be in that special place at that special time and will spend their lives in misery because they know they have what it takes, but no connections or help to get there. You could be that person. I don't mean to come across as a cold hearted ass, but I just can't warm up to the 'woe is me millionaire archtype'. I've seen too many talented people stomped in and never given the time of day to feel sorry for the guy that [admittedly] has everything.

edit on 5-5-2011 by Mactire because: (no reason given)

I can see how the post came across - I spent ages trying to not make it sound like that.

This is something which weighs heavily on me; I didn't come from a priveleged background, my father committed suicide when I was 11 (I found him), and my mother has suffered from severe depression ever since.

What I have achieved has been through my own efforts and actions.

I posted this topic because it's the only avenue in which I feel I can be completely honest and open - and I understand I will cop flak because it may seem as though I'm the spoilt child having a rant. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I feel as though I am in a position where I have an opportunity to truly do something good in life - and I will exploit every, single avenue I can to try and make the best use of my time on this earth.

thats all on the outside now you must cultivate the inside

your mind and spirit although probably rich can grow far beyond your wildest dreams

becoming rich and successful and taking over the world are nothing compared to what you can do with your mind and spirit

Originally posted by g146541
reply to post by ExCommando

 

Sounds like with all of your "apparent" success, it may not be all that successful.
I have those waiting gaps at night for a few hours after the sub goes down, but as soon as the sun comes up i know what to do and where to go.
Get out more often.
Go see things, even if it is just a field. you will find something new everyday.
I would say have a kid and sink yourself into parenting but, i dunno these days.
Hope it helps.

Cheers fella. That's what I'm finding - success and worldly achievements are hollow.

I'm up at 4:00am every morning for training, so I see the sun rise as I pound the trail every single morning - and it's one of the only truly free moments of the day for me.

Originally posted by 11dead1
thats all on the outside now you must cultivate the inside

your mind and spirit although probably rich can grow far beyond your wildest dreams

becoming rich and successful and taking over the world are nothing compared to what you can do with your mind and spirit

This is what I mean - can you please expand on what you just said?

I've heard people saying this all the time - if you nurture your spirit and mind, you can achieve more than you ever imagined.

What can be achieved? What is possible? Please explain ...

I have no idea what to tell you. Not all of us have the ideal existence you do. I work full time and go to school full time, and maintain my home alone. I don't have a perfect fiancé and I'm not a self made millionaire. Im not an all American hero and I don't have a mansion.

Maybe you're coming to the realization that materialism doesn't satisfy your true needs. No one can tell you what things you need to learn or what you should do. That's entirely up to you. We are all here to learn our own lessons.

Originally posted by awakenone
Have you considered Philantrophy? The meaning and action behind it will unfold so many levels of your development that having a materialistic outlook would become meaningless.

If you look for that package deal. It is not going to be in this plane of existance, but in the divine.

If you have acomplished all that you seek to do in this reality. Then acomplish finding your true identity and then you will see, all is but a dream.

Yes - I give a fair chunk of my money to charity.

How do you find your "true identity"?

At the end of day, once you have reached and achieved the things that matter to most of humanity--food, love, safety and financial security, there is always a urning and something more. A question remains: "Is this all there is?'

I am in a job where I interact with a great deal of people during the day, and I am find this feeling very prevalent with middle aged men. They seem lost to a degree. They have kids, raised them well, bought a house etc, but now they look forward and don't know what their purpose or point is.

I have had similar thoughts. I guess when you look at it sadly, many people seem to throw the towel in. The get engrossed in golf as the purpose to life, or watch reality TV.

I guess at the end of day, we are hear for a short period of time, and have find something that brings us a sense of fulfillment and purpose. What is that? For each of us we have to look within to see what nourishes us and brings us purpose.

I think that for many of us, doing something that makes a difference to others, and makes the world a better place is the answer. I have contributed to kids camps, helped raise money for homeless people, and tried to find ways that I could leave my mark.

You have the financial means to help people, and the smarts to put yourself to good use.

I think you have to find a passion and cause that you can assist in and find a way to make an impact.

Originally posted by BioStatistic
I have no idea what to tell you. Not all of us have the ideal existence you do. I work full time and go to school full time, and maintain my home alone. I don't have a perfect fiancé and I'm not a self made millionaire. Im not an all American hero and I don't have a mansion.

Maybe you're coming to the realization that materialism doesn't satisfy your true needs. No one can tell you what things you need to learn or what you should do. That's entirely up to you. We are all here to learn our own lessons.

Definitely - the point I'm trying to make (which I think you've seen), is that even with the perfect exterior, it's nothing but.

I'm not fulfilled, I don't feel like I've achieved even a % of what we are able to, and I feel more restless each and every day.

I think sharing thoughts like this help the collective as well as the individual - yes, you can't tell me what I can or should do, but by exploring, and sharing thoughts, we can hopefully influcence each other to achieve greatness (whatever that may be).

Well you have the resources and born with the determination to move forward. So, I really really really do not understand what is keeping you.

You could meditate perhaps or read some philosophy. I dunno man, I'm on the lower end of the social ladder so I really can't figure you out.

Originally posted by Ultraman2011
At the end of day, once you have reached and achieved the things that matter to most of humanity--food, love, safety and financial security, there is always a urning and something more. A question remains: "Is this all there is?'

I am in a job where I interact with a great deal of people during the day, and I am find this feeling very prevalent with middle aged men. They seem lost to a degree. They have kids, raised them well, bought a house etc, but now they look forward and don't know what their purpose or point is.

I have had similar thoughts. I guess when you look at it sadly, many people seem to throw the towel in. The get engrossed in golf as the purpose to life, or watch reality TV.

I guess at the end of day, we are hear for a short period of time, and have find something that brings us a sense of fulfillment and purpose. What is that? For each of us we have to look within to see what nourishes us and brings us purpose.

I think that for many of us, doing something that makes a difference to others, and makes the world a better place is the answer. I have contributed to kids camps, helped raise money for homeless people, and tried to find ways that I could leave my mark.

You have the financial means to help people, and the smarts to put yourself to good use.

I think you have to find a passion and cause that you can assist in and find a way to make an impact.

Thank you, I really appreciate your post.

I don't want to become that middle aged man with all the toys, who then spends his time at the gym or playing golf.

That scares the sh*t out of me, because it's truly the life unfulfilled.

Originally posted by anon102
Well you have the resources and born with the determination to move forward. So, I really really really do not understand what is keeping you.

You could meditate perhaps or read some philosophy. I dunno man, I'm on the lower end of the social ladder so I really can't figure you out.

What is keeping me is not knowing.

If money was not an issue for you - and you had nothing holding you down - what would you do with your life?