I need some life advice. Can anybody help?

reply to post by mossme89


I chose to not read the replies thus far in this thread and just reply to you as if it were just me you were asking this advice from. So if I repeat advice I apologize in advance.

I would be honored to give you advice in relation to the dilemma you seemingly feel you have.

Initially, what I can see is that you seem to have an inherent gift for gab so to speak. Meaning that your ability to socialize seems to come rather effortlessly and you are seemingly aware of this because you are drawn to want to envelope yourself in it despite your otherwise unexciting priorities that are seemingly taking up the majority of your time.

If I am correct in this assumption, then what I would like to convey to you is this. You need to focus right now and soak up every bit of knowledge that is offered to you, not only that, don't just half-ass these priorities. Allow me to explain why...

With your apparent "people skills" you have the opportunity to be the person that in social settings is the center of attention. Whether it is with a crowd or alone with one person. You, are in a position to be the person everyone seeks for knowledge, advice, acceptance, I could go on forever with the potential person that i truly feel you have the ability to be.

So your current position, you should consider a test. You seemingly have no problem comprehending the knowledge that is presented to you based on the grades you mentioned you at one time were maintaining. Your focus, is preemptive in regards to your need to socialize. However, you must first continue the education, if not, and although you may have ample opportunities to be involved in a multitude of social settings, you're going to do so only being average.

By gaining knowledge, whether scholastic or otherwise, you are solidifying your position in the social fabric and securing a spot that will set you apart from the rest. People want to be that person, and only someone that recognizes this early on will excel at it.

So with all of the aforementioned. I think you need to put a hold on the need to socialize right now, you're not ready to take it on as you would like to just yet. The drive that you have alone, tells me you will have ample opportunity. First, build the foundation of what will make you the best you can be at that. That would be your education, get as much as you can, do the best that you can at it, and your desire to socialize will come to fruition naturally and you will be the person that other people envy in the end,

Not everyone has this ability to do this, I feel you do, and I can assure you, that if you heed this advice, in the end you will see that all of the effort that you put in to it, will come back to you triple fold. Remain positive and believe that you will achieve the goal you've set out for yourself.

The ball is effectively in your court at this point...it would be a shame if you dropped it now.

Respectfully,
UberL33t

You have two choices in life. Pay attention to the things you dont like, stick to them and be unhappy, or realize life is great no matter what, and that it can get even better, and be happy...

No point in judging reality, feel happy to be alive, life is a great game.

Everything we do, we do it because we search happiness, we want to feel joy and good feelings.

You dont need to be dependent of things you cant control to feel good.

Its a question of focus and attention.

You can see life as a great thing and be happy, or stick to the bad things and be unhappy.

Remember, life is great, everyday is a gift, and it can even get better.

With this thoughts and beliefs, you will get over it.

If you think: Oh this world (or your life) is so bad... You will loose motivation to act. You can think: This world is great, to live is great, sure, it can be better, but its already great. What you are doing is to eliminate the negative vibes.

In the end of the day what matters is what you felt, forget the analytical mind that judges all the time. It makes you unhappy.

Convince yourself: You are happy no matter what, but you can be even better. This awareness that it can get even better will give you motivation. But the good vibes will motivate you to live, dont be afraid of lack of motivation because when we are feeling good there is always motivation.

But with this mindset you will start to get motivated to help other people because when we are not "hungry" anymore we focus on feeding other people...

One more thing. The mind works in routines.
Right now you are building negative mental habits. These habits can be replaced by positive ones. But it takes some time.
So, remember, to stop the mental focus on the dark side of life will take some time, but with patience, with absolute conviction you will replace the bad mental habit of focusing on the bad things of life by the good mental habit of focusing on the good things.

You can see whats wrong, and try to improve it, but you dont have to stick to it.

The golden rule of existence is: Life is great no matter what happens, we should love life everyday, every second of it. We should remember this in the everyday life, we should carry this awareness with us in the here and now.

If you cant understand it now, thats fine, one day you will.

reply to post by mossme89


It sounds to me as though you are going through a bit of a life transition. You are becoming more aware of the things in life that really have no impact on the end result....whatever that result may be.

Instead, you are focusing more on the things that really matter in your life but, it's hard for many to make that transition into what really matters.

It's great that you have made it this far...you should be extremely proud of yourself!

Don't give up and don't think that there is anything "wrong" with you. Just follow your heart and your instincts and you will find your way.

Originally posted by Lolliek
I have a 17 year old daughter, so I'm coming from a mom's point of view...

This is a tough time for young adults - you are preparing to get out on your own, either to go to college or to find something you want to do. Your brain is still maturing, hormones are trying to balance themselves out, etc. I DON'T think that some of the Doom and Gloom on this site helps at all. You are just getting ready to start your adult life, and when you read thread after thread on how bad things are, I can see where you just want to stop trying and live for the moment.

What you have to understand is that all throughout human history there have been bad times! And there also have been good times. Keep up hope, and realize that you do have many, many years ahead of you! You have to live your life by looking forward. Whatever happens in our world, your generation is the one that will keep us going. Learn all that you can, about as much as you can, and just be prepared to change plans if necesssary.

I guess what I'm saying is that no one really knows what is going to happen. You are too young to give up. And just because you read something on the internet doesn't mean it is true.

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say! And I agree that maybe you should stop the meds for a bit. They can cause a dulling in drive, and caring.

Good luck!

Such a mom answer....
All I will say is that I think teenagers SHOULD be reading this site, at least occasionally... But that's comming from an 18 year olds point of view.. I'm sure my mom would know what's best for me since my brain isn't done growing?

Oh well I may be a stupid ass kid but now that I have your positive reenforcement I am destined for greatness

Thanks, Lady

1st let me say that you have mental problems that require professional attention; and i might as well

2nd : Just becuase someone says they are a professional doesn't mean they can help you, and does not mean they can't hurt you

Ok now that we've got the plesentries out of the way, let me say that whatever you just finished studying probably isn't very interesting to you, so you might be wasting your time with that degree anyways (whatever it is)

But at least it sounds like you have good friends or can make friends easily... that's great if that's what you enjoy doing ... (I've been the opposite for the last few months; locked in my room reading) ... I can make friends easily, but I've distanced myself from my high school crowd becz they were never that good of friends and I can get more done alone, and have been happier alone for the last few months, but won't be alone forever. anyways this isn't about me

You keep refering to life as a "rat race" . Life is what you make of it. Lots of people make it a rat race. It sounds to me like you need to find a slightly different path.

It seems like you are intellegant and have potential to live a happier and more productive life, but Anxiety and Depression are two nasty words that I am all to familiar with ( I think it's a teenage thing )

Since I've "woken up", I made a vow to be as positive as possible about everything, and a year ago, If someone told me that all my depression could be solved by simply willing myself to be positive, I would have told them to SHUT THE # UP ..... Now I don't say that to anyone becz I'm a more calm person.

Also, you said your a hopeless romantic ? My Advice on that is don't spend your days searching for that special someone; Believe that if you are on the right path, that YOU WILL find that person when the time is right for both of you.

Ive been through that stage, you have to push through it.

It's already been said, You need some Vitamin D3

I was feeling the same as you about work and ever since i left school so i know exactly how you feel, just not giving a toss, the feeling of just giving up and i did not see a doctor, i was determined to solve this by myself because i know people who take anti depressents and they say it makes them feel worse!!

i live in the UK and we get hardly any sun that is capable of producing D3, the UV index needs to be at least 4 so winter sun or a sunny spell isnt gonna cut it.

After reading a thread on here about the benefits of Vitamin D3, i was skeptical because how can a basic Vitamin make me feel so much better, well D3 isnt just a vitamin, its a HORMONE, so i bought some off the internet from a well known chemist store, not just a random website (most chemists sell D3), i started on 2000IU tablets, taking 1 per day.

After 2 days of taking them i notice a considerable change in my overall mood and attitude towards my life and the people around me, no longer was i the miserable person at work, no longer did i have the "cant be assed to do this" attitude, it really did work for me and ever since then i take these tablets every day and ive not felt like i did since, i was feeling down and depressed since i had left school about 3 years untill i found this remedy which works for me.

Recently ive started taking 5000 IU tablets which is recomended by some of the leading researchers which are currently studying the benefits of this awesome vitamin.



I aint beating around the bush or trying to make it complicated for you, but these tablets are very cheap and give a huge boost, so why not give them ago, you got nothing to lose and they might work for you, like they do for many others, you can also read up www.vitamindcouncil.org...

It needs to be D3, not D.