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I need some life advice. Can anybody help?

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posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 06:38 PM
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I'm sure some of you have seen my recent thread about feeling like things don't matter. Anyway, i need some advice. As i've said before, i'm losing interest in anything that doesn't have to do with making friends, forming relationships, and otherwise interacting with people. I have no desire to go through the rat race, except to make friends and form relationships. I've just been going through the motions, doing schoolwork, but it feels empty and lately even going through the motions has been difficult.

It's 4th quarter senior year and i've already passed all my classes. I have no motivation to continue and my grades have slipped from A's and B's, to D's and E's. My parents are punishing me for my grades, but even that isn't enough to motivate me to improve my grades. I have no reason to, i'm starting at a community college to transfer, and after 30 credits, colleges stop looking at HS transcripts. It's not that i'm generally not motivated, when i get something in my head, i'm pretty motivated. I'm just motivated by personal bonds rather than school.

I've mentioned before that i'm taking zoloft for anxiety. Another reason why i took it was that i was kind of depressed over the world, the rat race, and had a lot of apathy and pain. I felt helpless and was lonely. I could still function, but every day was a drag. What truly got me out of the rut was socializing with others. But, being in school for 8 hours and socializing for 1 just doesn't feel balanced. Now i'm taking zoloft and have a different type of apathy. I'm no longer in pain, and can't cry if i wanted to, but i still don't care about school as much as socializing with others. I'm trying to do what makes me happy because i've been depressed for the past 2 years (since i "woke up"), but school does not make me happy. Making friends, however, does.

I've come here to ATS for advice because my hope is that you could understand my dilemma and see things from my eyes. I've seen professionals and tried to explain this to them, but they don't quite understand. "What do you mean you don't like the system? It works great!" Any advice would be much appreciated.
edit on 29-4-2011 by mossme89 because: (no reason given)




posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 06:58 PM
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reply to post by mossme89
 


For one, I don't think you're getting enough sunlight (can lead to low serotonin and vitamin D levels). Next, I'm in the last of this semester at college and feel like you do to an extent. I used to be a stay at home mom and had plenty of time for my family(and housework), but now, I am on the computer at home, writing essays and studying. It's anti-social to do this for too long and can cause a reaction of "I don't care, I'm just gonna sit here and chat." I am a Christian as well and Jeshua has helped me along in my daily tedious activities, especially finals. I just look at it as; I have to finish this to get a decent job and I already got a late start, so I must keep my nose to the grindstone and do it. Maybe you're at the age when you are starting to look for a mate and everything else seems trivial? If romance is your focus, calm down, get some exercise and ask God to help you find your soul mate, then leave it alone and continue making the grades. Minimum wage can't pay your bills as an adult, so get a relevant, enjoyable degree.
edit on 29-4-2011 by Clearskies because: to add.



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 06:58 PM
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reply to post by mossme89
 


I am not a doctor and I am not giving you medical advice, check with your doctor first, I am only giving an opinion, it is your choice as to what you do with it.

It does seem as if you have in some ways found something that gives you positive energy, go with it and explore it further. My opinion is to drop the meds and give it a good honest try, two months minimum, to get over any withdrawal symptoms and keep yourself focused. Keep doing what you like doing and balance that with what you need to be doing and you may just be all right.



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:00 PM
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Stop taking Zoloft and finish school (E, what the F does a grade E mean?).

You'll soon get over all that apathy that comes from being stuck in a box 8 hours a day. There's a whole world out there waiting for you!

Pharmaceuticals don't really help with the human condition. Just start looking into nutritional supplements and exercise and get your body nice and healthy to promote the health of that growing mind.



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:06 PM
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Originally posted by Clearskies
reply to post by mossme89
 

Maybe you're at the age when you are starting to look for a mate and everything else seems trivial? If romance is your focus, calm down, get some exercise and ask God to help you find your soul mate, then leave it alone and continue making the grades.

Thanks for the reply. Yes, that is what most of my issue is. I'm too much of a hopeless romantic for my own good and constantly think about meeting that special someone.


Originally posted by Skewed
reply to post by mossme89
 

It does seem as if you have in some ways found something that gives you positive energy, go with it and explore it further. My opinion is to drop the meds and give it a good honest try, two months minimum, to get over any withdrawal symptoms and keep yourself focused. Keep doing what you like doing and balance that with what you need to be doing and you may just be all right.

I was off the meds for more than 6 months. I was doing great, but then started to get really depressed and anti-social at home. I do great and am really happy around friends, but on the weekends i pretty much lock myself in my room all day, with or without meds. Maybe a little less with meds, but not much. I just don't like being around my parents sometimes because then they start whining about my grades or make me do something, when all i want is to relax and think. At least in my room, they don't bother me, except when i come out for meals and they complain that i'm being anti-social.

They complain that because i'm anti-social around them at home, i must be like that at school. It's not the case. My peers don't make me do things, punish me or complain. If they do, i just go the other way. I'm just a bit of a free spirit, it's not something i do to be mean, that's just me.



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:06 PM
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Originally posted by mossme89
I've mentioned before that i'm taking zoloft for anxiety.


SSRIs "remodel" the brain, causing serotonergic neurons to migrate all over where they don't belong. Depending on how long you've been on it, you may have a long and rough road to get off them, but you should as soon as possible (the right way) which means looking up ssri withdrawal support groups online.



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:07 PM
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Do you know of a nice safe place where you can just take a couple of friends and get out in nature for a while?

A weekend, or a week, can do wonders for the mind. Go fishing if that's something you might enjoy. If not, pack lots of food.

You need a change of scenery.



They complain that because i'm anti-social around them at home, i must be like that at school.

Don't they realize that all teens are like that? I was, I hated it at home, couldn't wait to move out. It's part of growing, and separating from the parental units. Too many parents don't remember what it was like to be young. For me, it seems like yesterday (it wasn't though). I lived in my room, never came out. I think I turned out normal enough

edit on 29-4-2011 by snowspirit because: added



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:09 PM
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Originally posted by ancientmustytext
Stop taking Zoloft and finish school (E, what the F does a grade E mean?).

Just start looking into nutritional supplements and exercise and get your body nice and healthy to promote the health of that growing mind.

It's like an F, but it's just what they use. It goes A B C D E, not A B C D F nowadays.

I actually am on the Track team, so i do get a lot of exercise in, and that's what also makes me happy... My only worry with going off Zoloft would be that my parents would constantly tell me how much better i was on it (even though a lot of it is a placebo effect) and pressure me to go back on. i hate conflict, so i don't want to deal with this.


Originally posted by grizzle2

Originally posted by mossme89
I've mentioned before that i'm taking zoloft for anxiety.


SSRIs "remodel" the brain, causing serotonergic neurons to migrate all over where they don't belong. Depending on how long you've been on it, you may have a long and rough road to get off them, but you should as soon as possible (the right way) which means looking up ssri withdrawal support groups online.


I've been taking it for a couple months on and off. Before that, i last took it in August '10 and for 2 years before that. I can go off it with little or no withdrawl symptoms.
edit on 29-4-2011 by mossme89 because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:09 PM
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reply to post by Skewed
 


Whoa there. You said you were not a doctor. Then why are you advising someone to go off medication? That is dangerous advice to give anyone.



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:12 PM
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So now schools aren't even using Fs for a failing grade anymore?? How PC of them.


2nd ___



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:13 PM
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If apathy is your problem then try getting of ATS for a while, some of this stuff just makes you sick and depressed.



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:14 PM
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Originally posted by aboutface
reply to post by Skewed
 


Whoa there. You said you were not a doctor. Then why are you advising someone to go off medication? That is dangerous advice to give anyone.


This may be a stretch, but in his defense, the opening sentence also states to check with your doctor first. So he gave advice basically on to ask your doctor about coming off the med. Worded wrong maybe but its the internet.



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:18 PM
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I have a 17 year old daughter, so I'm coming from a mom's point of view...

This is a tough time for young adults - you are preparing to get out on your own, either to go to college or to find something you want to do. Your brain is still maturing, hormones are trying to balance themselves out, etc. I DON'T think that some of the Doom and Gloom on this site helps at all. You are just getting ready to start your adult life, and when you read thread after thread on how bad things are, I can see where you just want to stop trying and live for the moment.

What you have to understand is that all throughout human history there have been bad times! And there also have been good times. Keep up hope, and realize that you do have many, many years ahead of you! You have to live your life by looking forward. Whatever happens in our world, your generation is the one that will keep us going. Learn all that you can, about as much as you can, and just be prepared to change plans if necesssary.

I guess what I'm saying is that no one really knows what is going to happen. You are too young to give up. And just because you read something on the internet doesn't mean it is true.

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say! And I agree that maybe you should stop the meds for a bit. They can cause a dulling in drive, and caring.

Good luck!



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:25 PM
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Originally posted by mossme89
I've been taking it for a couple months on and off. Before that, i last took it in August '10 and for 2 years before that. I can go off it with little or no withdrawl symptoms.


That's good. You're lucky. Most psych drugs should never have been invented, much less sold. I can't say "especially ssris" because they all seem to be worse than the last. I've known a lot of people who were destroyed by psych meds. Just keep in mind what you're doing to yourself when you take them. I've seen someone go postal on ssris. Not a pretty picture. They upped his dose, of course. That's not usually what happens, most people just seem to be inappropriately detached, and many are in some private bizzaro hell that can't be explained in any meaningful way.



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:28 PM
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Originally posted by kwakakev
If apathy is your problem then try getting of ATS for a while, some of this stuff just makes you sick and depressed.


Yes I agree completely and one of the reasons why i get angry with some conspiracy nuts is the doom and gloom. They make it sound as though its such a no win situation and that there is nothing you can do about it anyway but they still preach it. Whether they realize it or not it can affect people. One sentence can change their outlook on life and mutate everything they see around them into sinister things. Some people are truly sensitive to this stuff and yes while critical thinkers might say "come on you nut theres nothing wrong" they believe it.
Fear mongering is not healthy and a proverbial "root of all evil".

OP- Sunlight does help and there are even "lightboxes" you can buy for home use for times when sun is not abundant (winter).
Personally i find a nature walk helps me as well if i get a bit brooding. Simply seeing life makes me glad to part of it. Enjoy the little things, what seems trivial to others isnt to you, so dont be afraid of enjoying it.
And internet + depression = Bad. Its giving your mind access to dark thoughts (which you shouldnt be encouraging), which the internet surely provides easy access to. Talk to a professional, just to vent if you need to, internet is just not enough for humans, I think the contact during venting is important.

But yeah seriously dont look to this site for life changing answers.



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:28 PM
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Hi,

I know exactly how you feel. I have been there myself. The only way i can describe it is you have a hole in your heart, a gap so to speak that only one thing can fill. In our creation we were made to have a symbiotic relationship with the Maker, Creator of everything. We were torn from our maker (God) by sin and left in the dark searching to fill that gap in our lives with anything that brings fulfillment. In the end we realize that we're missing something and attempt to try to fill it with something else. its a perpetual cycle that never ends. The answer is to come into a relationship with God himself and experience the fulfillment you were designed to live with. Your answer is just a few words away. Accept Jesus as your Lord and savior, repent of your sins and enter into a relationship with God and he will come in your heart, make you new again like a burden has been lifted off of you. It's a lifetime relationship that only gets better and better. Some here will disagree, call me psycho and discount anything religious but, I encourage you find out for yourself and mean with all your heart. When your reach out, he reaches in.

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him will have eternal life"

Do it and know the truth!



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:33 PM
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Don't take medical advice from someone on a conspiracy site. Im on Lexapro myself as I was diagnosed with PTSD and depression when I came back from Iraq. Weigh your pros and cons, not all medications work for certain people. I had a hard time taking it because I felt like less of a man. Unfortunately it took almost killing myself in front of my woman to realize the pros with medication out weighed the cons of how damaged I was. This isn't the same result for everyone. Do what you feel makes you better. Your more than welcome to U2U me if you ever need to talk or bit..



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:34 PM
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I think I have a solution for your grades and social life. Why not start a study group with some people in the classes you are failing. Have it at someone's house, the library, or at school....not only would you be with people but you would probably be motivated to get those grades up. You are obviously intelligent. I think you may also be experiencing something that happens to service men when they are working those last few weeks before ending their service. A co-worker (former service man) told me the proper terminology (about what I was experiencing) a few weeks before my retirement date. I just don't remember the term.



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:36 PM
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Sounds like you go thru a stage in life where a person decides to be independant or dependant in their decisions and ways. Also, sounds like dependance is dominating so far. Just remember, there are advantaves and disadvantages for each.
I personnally went very independant at your age. I have no regrets by the way.
Good luck to you!



posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 07:44 PM
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When i was young and in school, i would go to maybe half of the classes the other half of the time go goof off with
friends, icould not understand what the hell i was going to do with all the dumb stuff they wanted me to learn.

i wish i knew then what i know now, all that stuff i will never use... but if some one would of explained to me that
all that stuff was just to make me think.. And make my brain stronger, like exercise for the brain. Maybe it would of motivated me a bit more.

The best time to learn is when you are young.
Now that i am older and need to support my family, every good job there is, looks at the files from school when
i was young and now i pay for the discisions i took when i did not have to face the rat-race yet.

If you think that it's a harsh world, try going thrue it with no education.. It's fine if your alone but with a family it changes thing, you will need a good salary.. and they go with diplomas...

Your perspective of life will for ever be changing.. You do not feel the same way you did when you were younger,
you feelings have changed and they will.. Change again.. Teen years are the worst and hardest of all.. You will get thrue like everyone does.. Soon will be but a dream.. Unless you let it become a nightmare.

If you abandon now you loose the rest of your life... how would you feel as a teen to pay for the dumb things you did when you were 5. It would make you mad.. When you become an adult and look back at your teen years i guaranty you will laugh at what you believed when you were a teen..

Thing is as an adult ,you will pay for those unclear teen years..

My advice to you is when you are down, find somethings to make you laugh, soon all will be but a memory and
you will be fine... Maybe you could take the time in school you have and learn how you can make a difference in
a positive way to change the world.. You are the futur don't let it go to waist.. We old farts are counting on you to
change the world we screwd up..

A friend...



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