posted on Apr, 29 2011 @ 10:21 AM
I have to do it.....
THE TWO COWS ANALOGY...
ANARCHO-COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both cows. The government sells the milk in government stores. You can't afford the milk. You
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The state takes both, and gives you a little milk ... once.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and gives you spoiled milk.
COMMUNISM - CAMBODIAN: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
COMMUNISM - CAMBODIAN: You have two cows. The government sends a teenager in a red bandana to shoot them, then he shoots you.
COMMUNISM - MODERN CHINESE: You don't have any cows. The government sets up a joint venture with McDonald's.
COMMUNISM - CHINESE: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman
who reported the numbers.
COMMUNISM - CHINESE: You have two cows. You take care of them. The government takes all the milk, but you are encouraged to steal some of it back
(before someone else does).
COMMUNISM - MAO: You have two pigs. The government launches a campaign to convince you to donate them "voluntarily" to provide meat for workers in
the city. The government then declares that people don't need pigs to make pork. Quoting the correct phrases from your little red book, you and your
neighbors try to create pork from sheer willpower. Your local party leader reports that you have exceeded all expectations. Your neighbors starve.
COMMUNISM -- MAO: You have two bulls. Several people are killed while attempting to milk them.
COMMUNISM -- CASTRO: Fidel Castro has two cows. They are F1's, a cross between the Cebu cow and the Holstein cow. Only one cow, "White Udder,"
works. When she dies she is stuffed and placed in a museum by Castro, "The Dictator of the Cows," where "future generations could admire her
magnificent udders." You have not seen cow milk since 1985.
COMMUNISM -- CUBAN: You have two cows. Fidel tells you some undercover CIA agents have infected all of the cows in your region with a foreign disease
that kills the cows. You and your family become malnourished. It begins to occur to you that Fidel doesn't know what he is talking about.
COMMUNISM -- CUBAN: You no longer have any cows. They sailed to Miami. You still have no milk - but you do have Fidel.
COMMUNISM -- "PURE": You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
COMMUNISM -- "PURE": You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. Well, maybe the local bully gets
more, or a few neighbors band together to kill you so that there is more milk for everyone else.
COMMUNISM - IDEALIZED: You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.
COMMUNISM -- RUSSIAN: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. Then the government sends you to
COMMUNISM - RUSSIAN: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can
and sell it on the black market.
COMMUNISM - RUSSIAN: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have
42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th, 5-year plan
in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
COMMUNISM - RUSSIAN: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them
again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows, open another bottle of vodka, and instead decide to focus on how many apples you are holding
in your hands.
COMMUNISM - REALITY: You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most
"need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.
COMMUNISM - BUREAUCRATIC: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is
expensive and sour.
COMMUNISM - STALIN: You have two cows. You are shot as a counter-revolutionary. The cows are put in the Gulag.The milk? What milk? Who are you, and
why are you asking about milk, Comrade?
COMMUNISM - LENIN: You have two cows. You are shot as a counter-revolutionary. The cows are also shot as counter- revolutionary. The Proletariat gets
the milk, but refuses to drink such petit bourgeois liquids.
CONSERVATIVISM: You have two cows. You freeze the milk and embalm the cows.
CHRISTIAN-DEMOCRATISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. Then you covet it.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. A vote is held, and the cows win.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. They outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt.
DEMOCRACY -- AMERICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk and then blame Japan while border guards beat up
Mexicans sneaking into the country. People are outraged for a week or so and then go back to televised sports where there's no violence.
DEMOCRACY -- AMERICAN (a republic): You have two cows. The government exercises those powers delegated to it by the people, who are sovereign. The
majority does not rule because the people and their representatives (elected, appointed and employed) are constrained by various checks and balances,
including the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the three co-equal branches of government, and the 50 state republics (see, e.g., Article IV, section
4). So what the government does with your cows and with the milk from those cows depends on the interaction between the people and the checks and
balances mentioned above.
DEMOCRACY - FLORIDA: You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best
vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of
guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best looking one.
DEMOCRACY - AMERICAN: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the President is impeached for speculating
in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate."
DEMOCRACY - AUSTRALIAN: You have two cows. The government nationalizes your herd to control the price of milk and level the playing field for
consumers. Each cow has a calf and they grow into cows. The milkers union stage an industrial action (strike) to protest the increase in the number of
milk cows. A new party comes to power and the economic rationalists privatize your herd to control the price of milk and level the playing field for
producers. The government orders the slaughter of two cows to cut production and control the price of milk.You throw a huge beef barbie (barbecue),
with XXXX (how Australians spell beer), invite the milkers union, and give a speech espousing the merits of a level playing field. You still have two
DEMOCRACY -- BRITISH: You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
DEMOCRACY -- REPRESENTATIVE: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
DEMOCRACY - PARLIAMENTARY: You have two cows. Politicians decide who gets the milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. You give the milk to the government and the government sells it.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes one away and presses it into military service.
FASCISM - CORPORATE: You have two cows. The State takes both; their cronies form a corporation, hire you to take care of the cows and sell you the
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
LIBERALISM: You have two cows. You give away one cow and get the government to give you a new cow. Then you give them both away.
LIBERTARIANISM: Go away. What I do with my cows is none of your business.
LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. One has actually read the constitution, believes in it, and has some really good ideas about government. The cow
runs for office, and while most people agree that the cow is the best candidate, nobody except the other cow votes for her because they think it would
be "throwing their vote away."
NAZISM: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk which they milk themselves, and
run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbor.
SOCIALISM -- BUREAUCRATIC: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by
ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs
as the regulations say you should need.
SOCIALISM - COOPERATIVE: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage
SOCIALISM - FRENCH: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.