compassion? Never Again.

So, ATS

Today a man at the transport station told me he lost his travel card, and his debit card. And he had a long way to travel home. This man was well-dressed, sounded intelligent, really good articulating aswell. He told me he was a doctor, and could not get home, and he felt really stupid about it. Nobody would lend him the money, except of course me. First he asked 50 euros,.. i said ok well i believe you, let me store you number and name into my cellphone. I called his cell, and it was his number. I loaned him 50 euros cash. I also send him my bank account number by text message.

After that, he was so amazed. and thanked me, he was thunderstruck really. He said, there are so few people who do this, most people will simply say 'no', but you my friend, i will guarantee you will never forget this day. Thats what he said to me. He began telling me that he was a royalty. and that him asking for money on the street was actually a test. He was not from my country, but was as he said 'doing research' into our society. This man comes out of a Islamic country. He would repay me as soon as he had gotten home, plus some euros extra. The more i think about it now, the more stupid it becomes.

He wanted extra money for expenses he told me, to eat and so on. I said alright, how much? I ended up giving him another 100 euros to make sure he could get home. He told me very clearly several times, that the information that he was about to give would be hard to swallow for me, for he claimed to be a prince of maroccan ancestry. His dad, is the king of marocco. He told me he was adopted. Several times he told me, that he really was this person, and he really was going to pay me back. Although, there is still time for him to complete the agreement, in 2 hours time he should arrive at home, and repay me the money via bank transfer. He answers his cellphone also. I went to the police station, to check if there were any calls about this man, nope. Instead, i got laughed at by 3 female officers.

I Failed so hard today, i just needed to share this.

Maybe it was not compassion, but just plain stupidity. This also marks the last time that i'm ever giving money to anybody.

But hey, the last time i handed 5 euros to a man without a ticket without money, ended up being a very good day. That particular day, i said 'karma should be on my side today'. That day i walked into the heavyweight MMA Champion, a man who i very much respect, and been wanting to meet for a very long time.

Just wanted to share, comment if you like..

I haven't even finished reading this and I already have to say: Who the hell gives a bank account number to a stranger? I mean, WHO THE HELL?!

reply to post by Jepic

Well you can't do anything with a bank account number except, putting money on it, from your own account. You can't do anything with a number alone, you need acces to that number through a code and pas.

Originally posted by cyberjedi
Maybe it was not compassion, but just plain stupidity. This also marks the last time that i'm ever giving money to anybody.

The problem is that you have emotion and you ran into a grifter. Any good salesman knows that the best way to get someone to bite is to get them emotionally involved. This guy knew that, anyone who begs knows that, hopefully now YOU know that.

Moral of the story: Leave emotion out when money is involved.

Edit to add: Also, don't give out your bank account number, that's just not smart. If he asked you for it, there was a reason he asked for it.

Been there, done that. I have learned the hard way that being a compassionate person is a sure way to get ripped off, walked on, taken advantage of, lied to, manipulated, and left feeling like crap. My whole life has been filled with compassion for others, but there comes a point in time where the last straw has been drawn, and you have to say
enough is enough.

My last straw happened last month after an elderly relative manipulated me for over a year and then purposely ripped me off and then rubbed it in my face.

I'm going cold turkey on the compassion from now on.

Those that pray on the compassionate lose 3 times the amount that was originally given. You should be proud of yourself (though much the wiser I assume) because regardless your intentions were pure. Unfortunately there are some that feed on kindness and ruin it for others that are truly in need.

A very sad story of trust broken. I still like to think that most people are honest and not out to hoodwink anyone.

I generally consider myself willing to help folks out in need, and have been approached by people with various tales of woe. I guess I am a bit more jaded as I am quite guarded.

I recently had a guy standing by the bank with a big Bible in his hand looking for money. The Bible looked like a prop and I just wasn't buying his story. These people are always in need of a 'bit more money" to get a bus back to whatever they come up with.

I think commpassion should be guided towards places that are legit and can really help people.

reply to post by cyberjedi


Ehh don't kick yourself while you are already down. You learned a lesson and it's nice to meet someone who has a heart for a change.

How about this. If a poor woman with a child needs something to eat, but them the food but not give them the money to buy it themselves.

A person in real need won't be begging for your money.

reply to post by cyberjedi


Oh! Pfff... Yea... That must be so... Go quick boy! Give me your bank account number. I guarantee you will be surprised at how much money you have left the next morning...

You're probably young (?), and making early mistakes is actually a very good thing, since it will bestow upon you a level of prudence that only experience can give.

But, we can't lose our compassion, even in the face of such terrible treatment. I guess we just have to be careful.

The saddest part of these things is the betrayal. You looked into this person's eyes, and he looked into yours. You felt you connected. You trusted, perhaps not so much a stranger, but you trusted in the basic goodness of humanity, if only for that instance. It was a good thing really, in so many ways.

But it can hurt, as I well know.

For me, I often try to ignore and stifle those faint glimmers of compassion that occasionally well-up, in the face of so much suffering and need in the world. After many years, it's perhaps best classified as a "survival skill" of sorts, but sometimes these matters can get very personal.

A couple years ago, a young lady I knew of (I had never actually spoken to her) was injured, and required surgery. This in turn would cause her more hardship, and I could foresee many things she would soon suffer in her recovery. After all, I had endured major surgery myself many years before, and the recovery, and it's impossible to forget such a nightmare.

In a crazy moment, I was passing by a flower-shop, and I "spontaneously" decided to go in and arrange to have flowers sent to to this poor girl. A "Get Well Soon" card was enclosed, but I then realized how silly it might look for me to actually sign it, since she had no good reason to think I could care less about her. Plus, she was a an attractive young lady, still in high school, and no doubt people would think the predictable! But, should that stop me?

Well, I was there, I thought it might cheer her up, but what to do? I made up an on-the-spot name to give the flower shop lady, as she filled in her little sheet, not putting down my own name. I paid her in cash, and left the Get Well card without a name. After all, I had donated money anonymously many times before, I really never wanted anyone associating me with that, and I figured it would still add a bit to her cheer. Which was the entire point.

A bit more to it, but long story short, this nutty old flower-shop woman somehow knew this girl's family! She immediately suspected the worst (in spite of me telling her that this was a student in a school, and having the flowers delivered there, to her school, certainly not her home!). This didn't deter the old bat from noting a description of me and my vehicle, to identify the potential monster, as she quickly called the family, to see what adventure she could stir up. Imagine! Flowers must be a boring business, I can only assume.

The story only got worse, and unbelievably, everyone threw this girl in front of the bus (so-to-speak), filling her head with completely unfounded worry, just so they could use such a rare event to their gain.

A month went by, I had almost forgotten about that spontaneous anonymous "good deed", when I was confronted with an "accusation"! I didn't realize that's what it was of course, at that moment I had already forgotten I sent it anonymously, and was almost ready to say, "Oh, think nothing of it!" Well, no crime had been committed of course, but this is the kind of melodrama that certain kinds of people gets lots of mileage out of.

I felt terrible for the poor girl of course, apparently surrounded by a host of people in various stages of lunacy, but perhaps the situation was somewhat understandable. I suppose I became the person in their minds people think they know, but then begin to assume the worst.

It got worse! No, there was nothing more with the accusers, they had failed to find the remotest sliver of a crime, and even the nutty old bag at the flower shop admitted she had been flat out told it was for a student, there was never a pretense, other than my desire to remain anonymous (I wonder why!).

But here's the part that got me: My own brother had been contacted by these nutty folks first, days before they came to me, and he never so much as gave me a heads-up! Why?

Needless to say, I felt completely betrayed by my own brother. Honestly, I never saw such a thing coming. To me, it was unimaginable at the time, that's how far in outer space I was about "family" in my naive mind.

To this day, I have no idea why he would betray me like that, and have even speculated that there may have been some jealousy over my modest "financial success" (at least in comparison to his lack thereof). I really don't know. Even now, I could not do the same to him (or anyone, I would hope!).

So, here it is two years later. An almost unimportant, off-handed situation, resulted in knowledge about my brother's true feelings that I never could have guessed at before this "catalyst" of an event. It doesn't make me feel better, but I am grateful for the knowledge I wouldn't have had otherwise. Sadly, I probably will never trust him again, and if you can't trust family, who can you trust...

Well, they say nothing happens by accident.

Compassion? Yeah, be careful, VERY careful!!

JR