posted on Apr, 28 2011 @ 04:31 PM
You're probably young (?), and making early mistakes is actually a very good thing, since it will bestow upon you a level of prudence that only
experience can give.
But, we can't lose our compassion, even in the face of such terrible treatment. I guess we just have to be careful.
The saddest part of these things is the betrayal. You looked into this person's eyes, and he looked into yours. You felt you connected. You
trusted, perhaps not so much a stranger, but you trusted in the basic goodness of humanity, if only for that instance. It was a good thing really, in
so many ways.
But it can hurt, as I well know.
For me, I often try to ignore and stifle those faint glimmers of compassion that occasionally well-up, in the face of so much suffering and need in
the world. After many years, it's perhaps best classified as a "survival skill" of sorts, but sometimes these matters can get very personal.
A couple years ago, a young lady I knew of (I had never actually spoken to her) was injured, and required surgery. This in turn would cause her more
hardship, and I could foresee many things she would soon suffer in her recovery. After all, I had endured major surgery myself many years before, and
the recovery, and it's impossible to forget such a nightmare.
In a crazy moment, I was passing by a flower-shop, and I "spontaneously" decided to go in and arrange to have flowers sent to to this poor girl. A
"Get Well Soon" card was enclosed, but I then realized how silly it might look for me to actually sign it, since she had no good reason to think I
could care less about her. Plus, she was a an attractive young lady, still in high school, and no doubt people would think the predictable! But,
should that stop me?
Well, I was there, I thought it might cheer her up, but what to do? I made up an on-the-spot name to give the flower shop lady, as she filled in her
little sheet, not putting down my own name. I paid her in cash, and left the Get Well card without a name. After all, I had donated money
anonymously many times before, I really never wanted anyone associating me with that, and I figured it would still add a bit to her cheer. Which was
the entire point.
A bit more to it, but long story short, this nutty old flower-shop woman somehow knew this girl's family! She immediately suspected the worst (in
spite of me telling her that this was a student in a school, and having the flowers delivered there, to her school, certainly not her home!). This
didn't deter the old bat from noting a description of me and my vehicle, to identify the potential monster, as she quickly called the family, to see
what adventure she could stir up. Imagine! Flowers must be a boring business, I can only assume.
The story only got worse, and unbelievably, everyone threw this girl in front of the bus (so-to-speak), filling her head with completely unfounded
worry, just so they could use such a rare event to their gain.
A month went by, I had almost forgotten about that spontaneous anonymous "good deed", when I was confronted with an "accusation"! I didn't
realize that's what it was of course, at that moment I had already forgotten I sent it anonymously, and was almost ready to say, "Oh, think nothing
of it!" Well, no crime had been committed of course, but this is the kind of melodrama that certain kinds of people gets lots of mileage out of.
I felt terrible for the poor girl of course, apparently surrounded by a host of people in various stages of lunacy, but perhaps the situation was
somewhat understandable. I suppose I became the person in their minds people think they know, but then begin to assume the worst.
It got worse! No, there was nothing more with the accusers, they had failed to find the remotest sliver of a crime, and even the nutty old bag at the
flower shop admitted she had been flat out told it was for a student, there was never a pretense, other than my desire to remain anonymous (I wonder
But here's the part that got me: My own brother had been contacted by these nutty folks first, days before they came to me, and he never so much as
gave me a heads-up! Why?
Needless to say, I felt completely betrayed by my own brother. Honestly, I never saw such a thing coming. To me, it was unimaginable at the time,
that's how far in outer space I was about "family" in my naive mind.
To this day, I have no idea why he would betray me like that, and have even speculated that there may have been some jealousy over my modest
"financial success" (at least in comparison to his lack thereof). I really don't know. Even now, I could not do the same to him (or anyone, I
So, here it is two years later. An almost unimportant, off-handed situation, resulted in knowledge about my brother's true feelings that I never
could have guessed at before this "catalyst" of an event. It doesn't make me feel better, but I am grateful for the knowledge I wouldn't have had
otherwise. Sadly, I probably will never trust him again, and if you can't trust family, who can you trust...
Well, they say nothing happens by accident.
Compassion? Yeah, be careful, VERY careful!!