Software Helps Parents Oversee Children On Facebook

Internet security firm Check Point on Tuesday launched software that lets parents watch over offspring on Facebook without being "friends" at the online social network.

Physorg.com

I think this is absolutely needed and right on time. I have had many friends whose children have been the victims of bullying on facebook. While monitoring my daughters account a few years ago I stumbled across conversations between her and another adult that was totally inappropriate. The behavior resulted in a ban from facebook imposed by her father and me. .

Now that she is older, it is much harder to stay on top of everything she is doing. I truly believe this very well may prevent kids from becoming victims, and alert parents to specific struggles their child may be dealing with.

I can't help but think of the the tragedy this past weekend where 2 teen girls made a suicide pact and killed themselves at a slumber party. The mom found her own daughter hanging from her closet. How senseless and tragic a scene. Perhaps those girls would still be alive if this software had been in place.

The world is a rough and dirty place for our children today. They need all the support they can get. This is only a plus in my opinion.

Your thoughts,
Pax

Lovely, I'm really worried about my younger sister. She keeps posting pictures that could get her in a lot of trouble, or kickd out of school, and she gets in to a lot of arguments online. Maybe its just because she is 16, idk, but she keeps blocking my mother and I so we cant see whats on there. I just worry about her! I am pleased that I will be able to share this with my parents.

Originally posted by paxnatus
Perhaps those girls would still be alive if this software had been in place.

It's called spyware, and if children realize their own parents are using it on them, it will damage their relationship.

How do you say "we trust you, but are going to spy on you"?

There is no way any teenager will feel bad lying to their parents if they know their parents behave like this. So expect it.

Originally posted by NerdGoddess
Maybe its just because she is 16, idk, but she keeps blocking my mother and I so we cant see whats on there.

I just worry about her! I am pleased that I will be able to share this with my parents.

Why even let them use it to begin with? Has anyone not heard of all the abuse that kids take and dish out on fb? It is laziness on the parents part, or ignorance, it is the electronic babysitter. After all, we, or at least I grew up listening to my parents telling me not to talk to strangers, yada yada yada. But along comes fb and it is suddenly alright to associate with strangers you cannot see, that is even worse in my book. The internet is not exactly a place for kids to be freely roaming around in like their backyard, fb is an adult game and if kids are going to play adult games, the kids must accept adult consequences when things do not go the way it was intended. You were warned.

Unbelievable replies!! I have to go for now but believe me I will respond to some of these outlandish claims.


Thanks, Pax

There's no substitute for only letting them on the net in the main room.
None of my kids have access in their rooms.

I have no intention of going down the big brother route with them.

Originally posted by NuclearPaul

Originally posted by NerdGoddess
Maybe its just because she is 16, idk, but she keeps blocking my mother and I so we cant see whats on there.

I just worry about her! I am pleased that I will be able to share this with my parents.

reply to post by NerdGoddess


Posting on a public website makes it our business, toots. If your sister hates you for snooping on her, perhaps the way to fix that is.... to let her make her own mistakes. She'll be an adult in 2 years. What will you do then?

Any teen who knows what they're doing will soon know they're being spied on...and will not trust you again for a long time...over protective parents are annoying. Parents who spy are near on hated.

And they shall simply find a way around it, very easily, very quickly. Either by takin activity the software will pick-up to another site, by disabling the software while they use facebook, or using other software which stops it from working.

This, is pretty much worthless software.

I am coming back to this thread to answer to all who said this is a bad idea, because it is spying on
on your children etc.........

You have got to be kidding!!! Are you parents or not?
My job is NOT to be my kids best friend! It is to be a parent! That means looking
out for their well being including their safety. I don't give a rats ass about them
trusting me or not! If this program could help prevent a potential suicide who
cares about them feeling like their privacy was invaded.

Most kids talking about potential suicide are crying out for
help. Every parent needs to get their head out of the sand and
realize this is a real threat haunting our pre-teens and teens of
today.

Perhaps if our children know we are using this soft ware
they will be more conscious of their own behavior.

I wonder how many mothers and fathers whom have lost their children
to suicide or witnessed their child being victimized
would be so concerned about violating their child's privacy.

Please for your children's sake get your priorities in order!

Originally posted by paxnatus


Perhaps if our children know we are using this soft ware they will be more conscious of their own behavior.

Exactly, and they will simply find way around it so you wont know what they are doing. Whilst at the same time not trusting you and so therefore being far less likely to actually come to you when something is wrong.

You mention suicide, as someone who has been on the edge before, and medicated for it, I can tell you right now...the knowledge my parents were spying on me would have only made thigns far worse. And I never would have been able to finally tell them and get the help I needed.

Originally posted by paxnatus
Please for your children's sake get your priorities in order!

I don't think anyone would disagree if they thought it would make things worse for the children...so everyone does have their priorities in order, their opinion simply differs from yours.

I really believe every situation is different and every child is different. At least mine are. With my oldest son, when he broke my trust lying and stealing as well as just be sneaky and shady, I had to alternative other than spying on his computer. I am glad I did because I saved his ass more than once by not allowing him to meet up with some friends to vandalize and get drunk.

My other 2 kids I have not spied on them and have no reason to until they break my trust. I am lucky in that my kids are open with me about even there most personal stuff. I take interest in every thing they do and have a great relationship with them. No need to spy.

I would say this subject is dependent on the child, their interest and protection is my responsibility and I will maintain that through any means necessary.

reply to post by BLKMJK


Yes, infact I think I would prefer to change my opinion from my first post to agree with you. It really is more down to the child, for some it will be of benefit, for others it could caused problems to become much worse.

My only fear is parents will leap at this opportunity thinking it is a good idea, when for some children it will make issues more difficult leading to the parents missing something very important. Teenagers are very good at hiding things if they want to.

reply to post by StevenDye


yes thankyou, It DOES depend on the child, and the entire situation, it should ultimatley be up to the parent to decide if it is necasary or not. (sorry my spelling sucks)

Originally posted by StevenDye
reply to post by BLKMJK

 

Yes, infact I think I would prefer to change my opinion from my first post to agree with you. It really is more down to the child, for some it will be of benefit, for others it could caused problems to become much worse.

My only fear is parents will leap at this opportunity thinking it is a good idea, when for some children it will make issues more difficult leading to the parents missing something very important. Teenagers are very good at hiding things if they want to.

Some parents are very controlling and it only makes the child rebel even more. Spyware cannot substitute spending time and taking genuine interest in our children's life and interest. We are not Wardens and some parents are just too lazy or self absorbed to bother with building trusting relationships with their children.

As a teenager I was horrible and eventually was kicked out at 16. Though this was due to my own reckless self destructive behavior, it didn't help that my parents had absolutely no faith or trust in me nor would be bothered in actually getting to know me. This did wonders for my self esteem.