posted on Apr, 28 2011 @ 03:32 AM
I am also relating to most of these posts. It's nice to know my partner, my friends and my family are not alone in this feeling
I used to care greatly about my career/money/things/status quo. I worked for a big corporation and I loved it up until about a year and a half ago. I
moved up slightly in the company and I started to see how things really worked. I soon began loathing the company I worked for and it was a fight with
myself every morning to get up out of bed and drag my ass into work. The negativity of the entire situation really drug me down to the point I
couldn't stand another minute. I went on stress leave for two months, and I started to enjoy my life again. I was free! I wrote more, drew more, went
outside more, loved my partner more and I felt happy.
I figured that I really just hated the company and their slimy political greedy ways. So I applied around. I found a job with another company, it was
ultimately the same job but the company was known for treating their employees well and having a really awesome corporate culture. I was really really
stoked for my first day and I felt good being there. Everything seemed to burn just a little bit brighter there. But then about two months later, I
realized I hated it just as much.
I had an epiphanal moment where I realized that it had nothing to do with the company I was working for. I realized that I was doing something
absolutely meaningless. My job had absolutely no point except to make the rich richer and to kiss the asses of the sleeping idiots who get to the
point of tears (or blurting obscenities) because of an invoice $2 off what it should be. Sure, I was getting a nice paycheque, but what made it worth
I am trying to maybe add a little meaning into it by trying to be more empathetic and breaking a rule here or there to give the customer a little bit
more than what they (the company) might deem as fair. It seems to brighten some peoples day and it helps me a little and seems to give my job a small
amount of value.
Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely grateful for a roof over my head, food on my plate and a warm bed. Nothing beats it and I truly feel for the
people who don't have this "luxury". Should I have to give up my soul for these things? NO.
I wish this story had a happy ending, but I'm still there and I'm still wondering what's the point?! Why am I giving a 1/3 of my life to a big
corporation that cares about nothing but image and money?
There has GOT to be a better way, and boy howdy I am on the hunt for it. I feel the change/foreboding you speak of and it can't happen soon enough. I
will do what it takes and I'll die for the change that's needed if necessary.
One thing I've learned over the last few years of "awakening" is that death should not be sought, nor should it be feared.