I have a younger brother that has been living with my wife and I. This is the third time I have given him someplace to stay after a relationship he
was in fell apart, usually very dramatically. I am 48, he is 37 and has a 13 yr. daughter, which my 70 year old mother is now raising after his last
relationship imploded. He wouldn't be in my home now if it hadn't been for his daughter begging me to give him someplace to stay.
My wife and I both have children (each a daughter) from a previous marriage. Both are grown with families. Mine lives about 40 miles away and my
wife’s lives in our town. My wife’s daughter is going through a nasty divorce which should be settled in May. Her soon to be ex husband has moved
out of the house but still lives here in town.
My brother does this thing when he falls out of a relationship, he's done it for years. As soon as he jumps out of a relationship he immediately finds
another one to replace it with. In 2010 he was paling around with a girl. She is in the army so she was deployed around Christmas time. He then
started bad mouthing my step daughter husband, wanting to "kick his ass" so on and so forth. I told him around Christmas to keep his nose out of it
and to leave my step daughter alone, she didn't need the stress and headache of someone butting into her problems, that she was handling it fine by
herself. He pretty much did what I asked.
So, New Years Eve comes along and we all get together to celebrate. Earlier in the night I had warned my brother to lay off the booze and shut up
about the soon to be ex-husband. He goes drunk on me and they start getting cozy with each other as the night progresses. Sitting with each other in
chairs, whispering to each other, hiding under blankets and giggling. Teenager kind of stuff. It pissed me off so I got in his face and told him to
shut this crap up and go to bed. By this time my stepdaughter was in his face as well. I even think the two of them kissed in the kitchen earlier but
I didn't actually see it, just heard kissing sounds which really could have been anything.
The next day I laid it on him hard about the drinking and nosing into her business and he apologized for his behavior and said he would set it right.
Since then he has stopped smoking, drinking and is lovin' on some local church. All good things, don't get me wrong. But, he is still spending a lot
of his free time with my stepdaughter and her two young boys. He is in full blown rescue mode, just as he was when he met his current wife ( yes, he
is still married ) and her two girls. I have gotten so angry about this that I kicked him out last weekend. He really wasn't staying here much anyway.
I cant stand to speak to him now.
All of our relationships have changed because of this. My wife and her daughter are cold to each other now and I cant stand to be around my
stepdaughter or my brother. When confronted about it by my wife, my stepdaughter levels an avalanche of hate at her and accused her of meddling and
that there was nothing wrong with them coupling and it was none of her business. The stepdaughter seems to be promoting this whatever it is they are
doing. My brother just kind of shrugs his shoulders and won't consider it wrong. Many members of our respective families are asking us questions about
what is happening between them and we don't have any good answers. All of them look upon it with a disapproving eye.
Am I wrong about this being inappropriate? I mean, is my brother admittedly condoning and pursuing a more intimate relationship with my stepdaughter
right or wrong? He is messing with the lives of our grandchildren in this process. A divorce is something that a mother and her children must be go
through and experience with as little outside interference as possible so that they can grow from the experience and learn from it.
25-4-2011 by Lost_Mind because: Some spellings