Facebook: Where Narcissists Connect (and how it isn't healthy)

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I mainly use my facebook now just to keep in touch with close friends who school over seas or in other provinces. I got really tired of people writting on my wall "what's up" or "how you been" and I reply with a paragraph and get nothing in response so I removed the capability for anyone to post, like, or comment on anything on my wall. Now I just use my wall to throw up w/e song I'm really digging at that time, a certain lyric that really struck me, or inspirational quotes or links to stories from time to time. I found in doing this, people who ACTUALLY want to have decent conversation tend to inbox me more frequently rather than just the simple one liners.

reply to post by Nastradamus


I noticed that whenever I would put up videos or songs with meanings, new NASA finds, political news as the time or anything that could lead to an intelligent conversation, it went ignored because...

And please forgive me FB users out there....

It had too many words. When I say too many words, I don't mean that it was a page long or anything...

I mean it had more than 6 or 7 words.

It didn't say "

"Off work,, going to get a drink"
"My baby, playing with her barbies"
'Anyone see The Game on BET last night?"

To put it gently, it was not 'dumbed down enough'. I know someone is going to be offended by that statement, but I'm just speaking in general about FB intellectual level.

I couldn't discuss the Syrian invasion by the United States, HAARP, recent earthquakes, the Drake equation, or FBI released documents on Roswell.

95% of the users have NO IDEA what I'm talking about, so they ignore it.

Honestly, that's why I'm addicted to ATS...i feel my brain being stimulated on here as there are many like-minded individuals and very constructive debate.

All in all, I didn't 'fit-in' with the FB crowd.

I think the truth is that you would never find a true to the core narcissist on Facebook, you tend to not find their details anywhere.......well not their real names. They don't like to have any records of themselves anywhere as their stories/lies could be checked out and it would be too high a risk for them to take considering most narcissists tend to have a long term partner while seeking attention elsewhere. I'm sure there are some as your article mentioned that go under false names with the best photo they can find to attract enough adulation from their false friends to keep them satisfied for a while!

We all have a certain level of healthy narcissim but I too fear that sites such as Facebook, Tumblr etc could create a generation with a higher level of narcissim that could damage them as people, making them all me, me, me. And it has been suggested that some who don't get the right ammount of likes or comments on their posts start to suffer from depression. It's sad that the internet, that was meant to connect us all across the world, can make some feel even more lonely and rejected. I think Facebook was a good idea and used right it can be a great tool but I hate what it has become to some people who are addicted to it and what they get from it.

I found that most people on my "friends" list didn't join Facebook for the intelligent conversation, they joined for the gossip or just to be nosey. I lasted 2 months before I became sick of not only the mundane posts like "just woke up" but of people intent of putting every detail of their private lives on there. Some things should just never be shared with everyone on your friends list and then their friends and I should not know the things I do about someone down my road!

reply to post by MissTiger


I very much agree!

I noticed myself getting sick of FB and its unintellectual posts fairley quickly. I also went though a period where i found myself getting upset because people would ignore my intellectual posts or not 'like' something.

I began to notice how high-school cliquish it can be,,,

The same folks that hung out together in high school and though they were the center of the universe did the same thing on FB.

Plus, lots of other people noticed how quickly depressed one can become after seeing all the glory and happiness or 'relationship status' of their peers.

Relationships get ruined, as people think 'liking one's comment is flirting...

The list goes on....

reply to post by RainboStar


Or -- it is used to promote your business, your music and your writing? Just like every other vehicle for promoting those things has been used for hundreds of years.

reply to post by ButterCookie


I should copy this and send it to my mom. Facebook embodies everything wrong with American, upper middle class society. Alot of feel good, wasted time.

reply to post by ButterCookie


Oh dear, I'm trying to think now whose posts I might have liked! Far too much can be read into things on Facebook, life is so much easier in real life. But then you do get people posting things that they would never say in real life. Thankfully I never added friends from school as I had already been through that awfull experience with Friendsreunited, some people just never move on from their school days and won't allow you to either in their heads.

I do think the worst type of posts I saw on Facebook were the "That's it, I can't cope anymore" or the "Think you can talk about me and get away with it" sort of post so that people would then comment asking what was wrong or if they were ok.All done to draw attention to themselves. I found it very sad that not one person on my friends list mentioned the earthquake etc in Japan but thankfully none of my real friends who I actually speak to aren't on Facebook either.

I must say it's been uplifting since I deactived my account and people don't expect me to know what's going on now as they did when I had an account.

Best we just stick to ATS

Nice read. thx.

I watch my 26yr old unemployed / unemployable sister-in-law pump 40 hrs a week into FB and she actually believes people give a hoot of what she is thinking and doing or that she has a headache.

Honestly it is amazing to watch her think she has friends (all online) yet can not interact or hold a conversation with adults.

I think it is a great tool to connect and share but nothing beat real interaction if you can.

Just sad to see an able bodied person hide behind a keyboard and live in self evolving fantasy.

/rant off

It's fun to feel high and mighty, but ATS is just another Facebook. It has "stories," posted by members who each have their own "profile page," and who can friend each other.

For bonus points, we can even star and flag each other for popularity.

Facebook is what it is. Dozens of my "friends" posted about the Japanese quake within minutes of it happening. Some of my friends quickly organized a rock n roll charity for earthquake relief. Out of 120 "friends" I only have one who ever posts mundane information about what he does when he gets out of bed in the morning, and -- as he is a performance artist -- I am fairly certain he is doing it as part of an elaborate joke or gag.

Narcissism is rampant on the Internet. The biggest indicator is people who see the world through their own lens, and project that view onto everyone else, assuming it to be universal.

reply to post by ButterCookie


Yeah that annoys the crap out of me too. All of my intelligent or witty statuses go unheeded. I bet if I posted drama or my day to day life I'd be a celebrity.

The funny thing is we are all narcissists. Take all your mirrors down for 1week and you cant look at your reflection anywhere. Guranteed you will be geeking and a nervous wreck at day 7,,especially the women.

Originally posted by 0zzymand0s
It's fun to feel high and mighty, but ATS is just another Facebook. It has "stories," posted by members who each have their own "profile page," and who can friend each other.

For bonus points, we can even star and flag each other for popularity.

Facebook is what it is. Dozens of my "friends" posted about the Japanese quake within minutes of it happening. Some of my friends quickly organized a rock n roll charity for earthquake relief. Out of 120 "friends" I only have one who ever posts mundane information about what he does when he gets out of bed in the morning, and -- as he is a performance artist -- I am fairly certain he is doing it as part of an elaborate joke or gag.

Narcissism is rampant on the Internet. The biggest indicator is people who see the world through their own lens, and project that view onto everyone else, assuming it to be universal.

I have to disagree about ATS

ATS is not narcissistic at all, in my opinion. Yes there are ways to rave or support member's posts or threads, but it's all in the name of information.

Its productive.

Facebook just wants to know who all agrees with them about personal, self-centered things.

A popularity contest mainly.

ATS is my virtual family because I actually get a high from learning and being in the company of like minded (or not so like-minded, but smart) individuals. Debates here are going to at least be constructive , and you don't find yourself having to dumb things down so much....

Facebook, as an ATS'er once stated, is where you'd better keep conversation as simple as possible. You can't discuss anything dealing with news, politics, aliens, or religion. Mostly because

and pardon me again,

it'll be over the majority's heads. They appear not to be too inclined to reading, watching CNN or the Science/History channel...... trust me, NO ONE will 'like' your comments, even about the millions of Earth like planets found, FBI Roswell documents, or the Japan quake..

Speaking of Japan ( and Haiti, Chile, etc) quakes......

FB users tend to only post

"Thank GOD we were spared", and things like that, right before they post about the new burger they just tried at Burger King....which will receive

31 likes
64 comments

Facebook is great for me. I Use it to keep in touch with family and friends I left behind in the US. I tend to accept any invite from people I knew, but end up deleting a lot for being annoying as hell on facebook. Drama whores, religious nuts etc etc. My friend list is only 40 or so people at the moment, which suits me just fine. Only one person I never knew is on my list, a great friend from myspace, I quit myspace shortly after the presidential election.

reply to post by ButterCookie


"I couldn't discuss the Syrian invasion by the United States, HAARP, recent earthquakes, the Drake equation, or FBI released documents on Roswell."

Yah.. like most people want to discuss conspiracy theories or wars.

I have deep serious discussions with some of my 1500 friends, which I guess makes me a narcissistic punk who doesn't wash or change his clothes for months at a time, plays in a punk band and tends to get naked in public much too often and isn't ashamed of his man boobs at all. Narcissism... sure.

I do have meaningful discussions; I've been posting up interesting ethical questions and touching all kinds of subjects about consequentialism such as the trolley problem, discussing Externalism and Solipsism such as Brain in a vat and the dream argument, and other such topics. This results in long threads and hundreds of replies.

Of course not everyone partakes in these discussions yet a lot of people do but there's a huge difference between discussing ethics and philosophy and bringing up HAARP and going crazy over conspiracy theories that I like to indulge in on this website.

And yes, I do know all these people and yes I do have a social life... I actually went out tonight for a dip in the pool at the hotel where a friend works; I hosted a party with hundreds of people yesterday; I was out the day before that shooting pictures with tons of friends and Facebook helped me organize and plan all that. ...what did you and everyone else that's complaining about Facebook do this weekend?

People lie, that's a fact. From first dates to guy talk... most of it is BS. People who are into themselves a bit too much, Facebook just makes them more obvious with all the pictures... but these people have been doing that way before any of this was created.

Go out in a bar and you'll see these people all over the place.

reply to post by kylioneXsushi


I admit to using Facebook as a soapbox for things I like and dislike.

But on occasion, I tend to share music I really like with FB friends.

I've got closet narcissism (I'm no monster, only I suffer) and this is very true. I can make a solid image of who I am and unlike real life situations; I'm in control. It's a good thing as it gives me some rest.


Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com

reply to post by ButterCookie


Well, I see myself as making a difference and eventually, these people will pay attention.

I do have a small circle of friends that often read up on the same stuff mentioned on here.

I have never been on facebook and as a misanthropic, introvert, it is unlikely that I ever will, not a judgement, a mere preference. Had I ever had any inclination to do so though, it would have rapidly evaporated after having watched the documentary film Catfish! It is a fantastic and deeply, though subtly so, disturbing.

For a documentary, Ariel and Henry film Nev as he begins a long-distance relationship with Megan, conducted over the Internet and phone calls, and they discuss meeting in person. She sends him MP3s of her songs, but Nev discovers that they are all taken from performances by other people on YouTube. He later finds evidence that Megan and Abby have made other false claims.[2][4]

Ariel urges his upset brother to continue the relationship for the documentary. The siblings and Henry eventually travel to Michigan to make an impromptu appearance at the Pierces' house and confront Megan.[2][4] They discover that the person behind all these Facebook personae is Angela, in "reality" a housewife who cares for two disabled stepsons in addition to Abby. Although Angela's husband Vince exists, the real-life Megan has no contact with the family and was not the person talking to Nev. The trio also finds out that Abby is not a child prodigy, and she cares little for painting or drawing altogether. Angela is the artist behind the paintings. Angela also used fake photographs for herself, Vince and Megan, and her fake friends.

It is explained that Angela seems to have fabricated these fictional people on Facebook as a way to escape the regrets that came with sacrifices she had to make in order to have a family and a stable life. As the film progresses towards the end, Angela's life around the house and interactions with her family are shown.

en.wikipedia.org...(film)

Excellent documentary too. Recommended.

reply to post by BadPenny


I saw that documentary, it was indeed disturbing. That kind of person though, is a small minority on the internet I would think though... I look at people like that lady, and shake my head. All that creative potential gone to waste prettymuch, it's sad. If she had put it to good use, she could probably write some decent books, you know?

reply to post by TKDRL


I agree it must be rare, and that certainly, in this case, it is very sad. But I should imagine that there are less benign predators out there too.