Facebook: Where Narcissists Connect (and how it isn't healthy)

Not sure if this is in the correct thread, mods move if necessary


Check the article: Facebook and Narcissism

"They're well-liked upon initial meetings, but have more difficulty maintaining "warm and intimate relationships".

The meat and potatoes of the article:

For people with narcissistic qualities, Buffardi said, social networking sites are effective vehicles of self-promotion. Online, they can assemble armies of casual friends, choose the photos in which they look most attractive and, through quotes and comments about themselves, create a compelling personal narrative.

As social networking sites gain traction among greater swaths of the population -- Facebook now has more than 100 million members -- psychologists are becoming increasingly interested in how personality traits are expressed on the Internet. This study was one of the first attempts to achieve that. "These sites, like MySpace and Facebook, are becoming vastly popular. Lots of individuals are posting information about themselves and some psychologists have wanted to determine how narcissism manifests itself on Facebook," Buffardi said, adding that her study focused on narcissism as a trait, not a clinical disorder.

People identified as narcissistic in this study may have inflated views of themselves, she said. But they don't necessarily need to seek therapy for what can be a severe personality disorder. Buffardi and Campbell were particularly interested in narcissism because, while it may find expression online, it can hinder the creation of healthy relationships offline.

Wendy Behary, a narcissism expert and the author of "Disarming the Narcissist," told ABCNews.com that Facebook allows narcissists to remain disconnected from true intimacy and maintain a lack of accountability. They may look like they have a ton of friends, but they're actually affiliates, or awestruck followers, she said.

"At the core of most people who are narcissistic, underneath they often feel inadequate, lonely [and] a sense of shame because they haven't learned the skills to connect with someone in a real way," she said. "Facebook allows them to stay in hiding."

In addition to finding that people who score higher on narcissism personality tests tend to have more friends and wall posts on Facebook, the study also noted that they chose more glamorous photographs.

Mod Note: Posting work written by others.– Please Review This Link.

Oh my god, I love this thread.

I really don't like facebook. Okay, I have a page, but I recently deactivated the account.

While I understand that it is a way to connect with other people, all it really does is broadcast your life and personal business to a bunch of people who (most likely) don't really care. Making you feel superficially important.

My thoughts:

All Very True.

Too many times, friendships, family ties, and romantic relationships are damaged and ended because of FB. People are so wound up about who 'liked' or 'commented' on their status and comments and it because a Jerry Springer show.

Couples get paranoid about infidelity because their mate 'likes' a person's comments too much.

Also, there is high-school clique mentality.

The whole narcissism attitude derives from people being able to have a platform in which to communicate something to the world, and they decide to post:

"Walking into Walmart"
"Me and the kids at Chuck E. Cheese"
"Just waking up"

Its pretty much a high-school popularity contest, to see who has the most friends and who agrees with their opinions and likes their glamour shots.

People, realize that these 'virtual' friendships are just that. Nothing more.

Post that you need help fixing your car and see who all posts back 'Where are you located?."

I am glad to have disconnected from FB, and I have even had a relative get offended and had nothing more to do with me because of it.

Conversation:

"Hey, check my FB status."
"Can't. I cancelled my FB account."
"What!!! So you are all anti-social now?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I'm more sociable without it. I can now enjoy the company of real people."
"Goodbye"
"Dang, what did your status say"
"Goodbye!"



See what I mean????

reply to post by ButterCookie


I use Facebook to talk to friend and have an online profile. I only post statuses that are inspirational and informative. This is simply a generalization.

Originally posted by RainboStar
Oh my god, I love this thread.

I really don't like facebook. Okay, I have a page, but I recently deactivated the account.

While I understand that it is a way to connect with other people, all it really does is broadcast your life and personal business to a bunch of people who (most likely) don't really care. Making you feel superficially important.

Thanks!!

I just recently deactivated my account 2 weeks ago!! I feel much more sociable and free!!!!

I called this problem with "Facebook" back when Friendster was all the rage. You can widely see how the effects of sites like these reflects on, not just the youth, but people of all ages today. No one really needs to know you're at Bed Bath & Beyond, and they're out of towels. I can't drive a block without seeing someone riding the yellow line, steering with their elbows, while double thumbing a friggin' iPhone. Remember the glory days when you had to wait a whole 10 minutes to get home to call someone and tell them the news. All of this crap is suppose to expand human sociality, but it actually hinders in-person communication in a completely negative way. I've also noticed a rise in hostility due to these sites.

Facebook can be useful to keep in touch with distant friends and relatives, share family pics, etc, but the day to day mundane and often redundant info being shared is pointless. Twitter is the worst.

reply to post by RainboStar


Plus, people should realize that there is no REAL need to stay 'connected' with people from high school, for example.

You are a different person and so are they. You just knew them a long time ago and that's that, but for some reason, we have a paranoid-type desire to stay 'connected', even though we will never ask these people to have lunch, meet-up, or even call on the phone.

All seems to have been hijacked by companies selling stuff these days. I find facebook and twitter full of ads and sneaky ways to get you to click on an ad.
I only use them to promote my salons and online shops, so am as guilty as the next company

reply to post by kylioneXsushi


while it may be a slight generalization, the OP is merely pointing out the fact that facebook promotes unhealthy character traits. no one is saying facebook MAKES you narcissistic, just that it would enhance those qualities.

Like you, I'm among the most relaxed FB users. i log into my account two or three times a week on average to check if i have new messages from (real-life) friends and read some pages started by local music groups and activists in my hometown. i don't think folks like us need to worry about the negative effects of FB, as we are not on it enough.

but the kids who use the status update as a diary, comment on all of their friends' newest pictures (so sexay, guuurl!), play the stupid little mini-games? and the most alarming; the people who stay up until 3am FBing and then type "good night facebook!" into the status? i worry about the coming generation relying too much on, and taking for granted, internet related socializing. what happens when the plug gets pulled? or when your "friends" in real life aren't anything like on their profiles?

My recent FB statuses have been a video of the new Portal 2.
A quote: "He who wishes to appear wise should say what others already know. He who wishes to BE wise should say nothing."
An article about the new Graphene material.
A few pictures of Portal themes easter eggs.
A bit of information: "A little perspective on your lives. There are more stars in our observable universe than all of the atoms that make up matter within our galaxy."

I probably bore my non nerdy FB friends

Also, I moved a few months ago. I don't go out much here (Personal reasons) and I use FB to talk to all of my old friends from back where I used to live.

OMG I am a narcissist because I am lonely -___-

reply to post by kylioneXsushi


You dont sound like you fit the bill for a Narcissist. They are not saying that everyone who uses facebook is a Narcissist but it is easy to point out the ones who are...

I also have a FB and I rarely post on my wall because I don't think people need to know what I ate for dinner or who I hung out with this past weekend... I just use it to stay informed about social events and to chat with friends once in a while.

On the other hand I have friends who have like a thousand friends when they are only truly friends with a handful of those people. Not to mention they post every damn unintersting thing that happens to them. They also constantly change their profile pics and some have even had professional photos taken for their profile picture... It's kinda sad when you think about it lol.

Originally posted by kylioneXsushi
My recent FB statuses have been a video of the new Portal 2.
A quote: "He who wishes to appear wise should say what others already know. He who wishes to BE wise should say nothing."
An article about the new Graphene material.
A few pictures of Portal themes easter eggs.
A bit of information: "A little perspective on your lives. There are more stars in our observable universe than all of the atoms that make up matter within our galaxy."

I probably bore my non nerdy FB friends

Agree!

I used to do this (quote or post useful, intellectual topics) and soon saw that FB is totally not the place for that.

I got crickets EVERYtime...

chrrp....chrrrp.....

then I would test them and post something like, "Bout to hit the mall and grab some new shoes!"

29 likes
100 comments

My problem, as stated earlier, is that I feel that if ever you should be granted the opportunity to say something to the world, it should be useful and productive.

reply to post by TV_Nation


Exactly.

When people use the reason that they keep a FB account 'to connect and chat with old long-time-ago friends', I am hardley convinced, no offense, as I used that reason myself.

But when you really look at it, they have changed and you have too. There's nothing more in common, and the only thing that was in common back in the day was that you attended the same high school.

I understand that people are able to really get a genuine connection from true friends from the past, but the problem arises when you notice that you and that person don't even hang out, email, or call.

Your friendship is now a virtual one, nothing more.

I was going to write something mean about all of you who judge others but then I realized I would be as pathetic as you.

I've gone back and forth through deactivation, but realized the problem was my friend network and not much else. I was picking friends from way back that weren't interested in the same things as me. So I found a lot of newer friends who have a high degree of global awareness. You could say I'm a narcissist because I have a nice photo and have cut old ties, but maybe this is just an individual who's evolving. I rarely post any tidbits about my daily life, where I am, or what I'm doing. It's just another outlet to post alternative views and links, while meeting like minded people.

reply to post by ButterCookie


I only have around 60 friends on my facebook... I only friend requested people that are still in my life because like I said above what is the point of having 1000 friends when you are friends with just about none of them.

Also I have only had a FB account for 2 months lol so I am not really into it considering I was about 5 years late to the party.

reply to post by TV_Nation


Thats cool!

Again, the article isn't implying that only narcissists have FB accounts...It shows the correlation between a narcisistic personality and how FB tends to bring it out of ya...

God!!!! So True.... I think some people I know have lost touch with reality just using Facebook...

Another Machine thats CIA owned... to control the flow of information....

reply to post by ButterCookie


I agree with the article. I believe that the #1 hindrance to healthy close and meaningful relationships is dishonesty and deceptiveness which leads to lonliness, which leads people trying to compensate with facebook.
Another thing is that society makes it seem as though it's wrong to feel insecure. Insecurity is very common, yet people are afraid to own up and therefore they take pains to conceal their true emotions. Take for example women who dresses promiscuously, you can bet that she's working hard to hide her insecurity.