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and that is the key word.
and had complained to her family that she felt ostracized and bullied
Originally posted by ofhumandescent
I've been bullied both as a child and an adult and it's worse than a death by a thousand cuts.
Corporate bullying is where the employer abuses employees with impunity knowing that the law is weak and jobs are scarce, eg:
•coercing employees to work 60/70/80 weeks on a regular basis then making life hell for (or dismissing) anyone who objects
•dismissing anyone who looks like having a stress breakdown as it's cheaper (in the UK) to pay the costs of unfair dismissal at Employment Tribunal (eg £50K maximum, but awards are usually paltry) than risk facing a personal injury claim for stress breakdown (eg £175K as in the John Walker case)
•introduces "absence management" to deny employees annual or sick leave to which they are genuinely entitled
•regularly snoops and spies on employees, eg by listening in to telephone conversations, using the mystery shopper, contacting customers behind employees backs and asking leading questions, conducting covert video surveillance (perhaps by fellow employees), sending personnel officers or private investigators to an employee's home to interrogate the employees whilst on sick leave, threatening employees with interrogation the moment they return from sick leave, etc.
•deems any employee suffering from stress as weak and inadequate whilst aggressively ignoring and denying the cause of stress (bad management and bullying)
•"encourages" employees (with promises of promotion and/or threats of disciplinary action) to fabricate complaints about their colleagues
•employees are "encouraged" to give up full-time permanent positions in favour of short-term contracts; anyone who resists has their life made hell
What is bullying?
People who are bullied find that they are:
•constantly criticised and subjected to destructive criticism (often euphemistically called constructive criticism, which is an oxymoron) - explanations and proof of achievement are ridiculed, overruled, dismissed or ignored
•forever subject to nit-picking and trivial fault-finding (the triviality is the giveaway)
•undermined, especially in front of others; false concerns are raised, or doubts are expressed over a person's performance or standard of work - however, the doubts lack substantive and quantifiable evidence, for they are only the bully's unreliable opinion and are for control, not performance enhancement
•overruled, ignored, sidelined, marginalised, ostracised
•isolated and excluded from what's happening (this makes people more vulnerable and easier to control and subjugate)
•singled out and treated differently (for example everyone else can have long lunch breaks but if they are one minute late it's a disciplinary offence)
•belittled, degraded, demeaned, ridiculed, patronised, subject to disparaging remarks
•regularly the target of offensive language, personal remarks, or inappropriate bad language
•the target of unwanted sexual behaviour
•threatened, shouted at and humiliated, especially in front of others
•taunted and teased where the intention is to embarrass and humiliate
•set unrealistic goals and deadlines which are unachievable or which are changed without notice or reason or whenever they get near achieving them
•denied information or knowledge necessary for undertaking work and achieving objectives
•starved of resources, sometimes whilst others often receive more than they need
•denied support by their manager and thus find themselves working in a management vacuum
•either overloaded with work (this keeps people busy [with no time to tackle bullying] and makes it harder to achieve targets) or have all their work taken away (which is sometimes replaced with inappropriate menial jobs, eg photocopying, filing, making coffee)
•have their responsibility increased but their authority removed
•have their work plagiarised, stolen and copied - the bully then presents their target's work (eg to senior management) as their own
•are given the silent treatment: the bully refuses to communicate and avoids eye contact (always an indicator of an abusive relationship); often instructions are received only via email, memos, or a succession of yellow stickies or post-it notes
•subject to excessive monitoring, supervision, micro-management, recording, snooping etc
•the subject of written complaints by other members of staff (most of whom have been coerced into fabricating allegations - the complaints are trivial, often bizarre ["He looked at me in a funny way"] and often bear striking similarity to each other, suggesting a common origin)
•forced to work long hours, often without remuneration and under threat of dismissal
•find requests for leave have unacceptable and unnecessary conditions attached, sometimes overturning previous approval. especially if the person has taken action to address bullying in the meantime
•denied annual leave, sickness leave, or - especially - compassionate leave
•when on leave, are harassed by calls at home or on holiday, often at unsocial hours
•receive unpleasant or threatening calls or are harassed with intimidating memos, notes or emails with no verbal communication, immediately prior to weekends and holidays (eg 4pm Friday or Christmas Eve - often these are hand-delivered)
•do not have a clear job description, or have one that is exceedingly long or vague; the bully often deliberately makes the person's role unclear
•are invited to "informal" meetings which turn out to be disciplinary hearings
•are denied representation at meetings, often under threat of further disciplinary action; sometimes the bully abuses their position of power to exclude any representative who is competent to deal with bullying
•encouraged to feel guilty, and to believe they're always the one at fault
•subjected to unwarranted and unjustified verbal or written warnings
•facing unjustified disciplinary action on trivial or specious or false charges
•facing dismissal on fabricated charges or flimsy excuses, often using a trivial incident from months or years previously
•coerced into reluctant resignation, enforced redundancy, early or ill-health retirement
•denial of the right to earn your livelihood including preventing you getting another job, usually with a bad or misleading reference
A favourite tactic of bullies which helps them evade detection is to undertake a "reorganisation" at regular intervals. This has several advantages:
•anyone whose face doesn't fit can be organised out through downsizing (redundancy) or transfer
•ditto anyone who challenges the reorganisation
•ditto, their job can be "regraded" or "redefined" to the person's disadvantage
•each reorganisation is a smokescreen for the bully's dysfunctional behaviour - everyone is so busy coping with the reorganisation (chaos) that the bully's behaviour goes unnoticed
•the bully can always claim to be reorganising in the name of "efficiency" and therefore be perceived by those above as a strong manager
Source and again a very good site: www.bullyonline.org...
This site: raisingchildren.net.au... gets into school bullying by the following topics.
What is bullying?
How to spot signs of bullying
Talking to your child about bullying
Tips for talking about bullying
What is bullying?
On the surface, it’s like teasing. Most of us know how that feels. But sometimes kids tease other kids over and over again. Or they might tease because they really want to hurt somebody’s feelings, or make sure that somebody is left out of games or activities. This is when teasing becomes bullying.
Other examples of bullying are:
saying mean things or calling people names
leaving people out of activities or spreading nasty stories about them
hitting and pushing people or taking their things.
Girls tend to bully in indirect ways that can be hard to spot. Boys tend to be more physical.
Originally posted by Quasar_La-Zar
I do not remember the time before i was born,
life will start again in a new body case with a new brain.
Believing in god is just a required behavior for many of us to survive, and for others like me, its not.
Originally posted by doyouremember
reply to post by ViperChili
you're probably a bully, and shun those who you assume to be mentally unstable. how many mentally unstable people have you tried to help in your life? How many mentally unstable people have you judged in your life? how many times have you contributed to others' mental instabilities? how many times have you desired to cause others pain?
where is the benefit in your reply?
Originally posted by ViperChili
I don't care about other peoples feelings. Emotions are best kept to oneself.
Originally posted by wrkn4livn
Or, perhaps he see life a transitory state... We will ALL end up where these two young people went so or later. So they miss out on having children, getting in debt, working their lives to make someone else rich, and in the end, are right where they will be 60-70 years from now... Look at the positive. Maybe they will reincarnate into another life the were really meant for.