The Letter My Friend Says I Shouldn't Send - A True Story

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posted on Apr, 21 2011 @ 11:27 AM
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Originally posted by DAVID64
I agree %100. These people screwed you over and should know how you feel about it. They may think that somewhere down the road, all will be forgiven. Don't. These are the kind of people who deserved to be hated and reminded constantly of why. Your friend is wrong. SEND IT. Take out the "Please" when you tell them not to contact you.



How does that help the child?

The child MUST come first.

Any type of "self satisfaction" - - is not in the best interest of the child.




posted on Apr, 21 2011 @ 11:39 AM
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Originally posted by gncnew

Originally posted by Amaterasu


Anyone on ATS have helpful thoughts?
edit on 4/20/2011 by Amaterasu because: Add cast of characters


Look, I'm about be harsh. I don't judge you in the slightest, I feel very sincere empathy for your situation.

You need to get your crap in order. Your life sounds like a complete wandering vagabond style mess. You can't live like some traveling gypsy and properly give a child (especially a girl) a solid foundation to make confident decisions for her life.


Congratulations on all the stars. First, where did you get this "wandering vagabond style mess" from? I have been at the same residence for three years. Maybe you should examine some of your assumptions.


Get a job, a full time no sh!t real job, with benefits. Get an apartment. lock into a 1 year lease agreement and pay your bills.


I was laid off in 2006. I have applied to over 35,000 jobs since then. In person and on the net. I have had a hundred or more interviews. I am limited to desk jobs. No one is hiring old arthritic ladies when they have 50 or more 20- and 30-somethings applying. I went through savings, I went through 401K, all the support my friends and family could offer, and and went homeless because when I finally went to social services, I made the error of telling them I used to have a 401K but it was gone and that was why I was there.

They insisted I prove I DIDN'T have a 401K. The closing statement would be ok. In moves, the statement had been lost, and I called the company who bought out the company I had worked for and after being referred to about eight numbers, I was routed back to the original number. I wrote a letter but it vanished into corporate hell, and meanwhile...we sent my daughter to stay with my sister until we were stable. We were stable three years ago and that is when we first tried to terminate the guardianship.

So... We have an apartment, ok?


Drop your idealistic dream of starting a new political party - or whatever that crap in your signature is - and get focused on your actual life in the here and now.


No. And I'll tell you why. I believe I bring a solution to poverty on this planet, and I will fight to make it well-known. Because it won't work otherwise. There's plenty of time to look for work and take care of business. No "idealistic dream" or "political party," sir/madam. A solution for the planet in these troubled times.


You either put your daughter first, or you don't deserve custody of her. Playing around with all these dalliances while not holding a job and remaining "homeless" simply isn't showing that you have any intent to put her first instead of yourself.


I AM NOT HOMELESS NOW AND HAVEN'T BEEN FOR THREE YEARS. I have applied to over 35,000 jobs - maybe as many as 50,000. I am NOT failing to do what I can, but once I have scoured the net for jobs to apply to, there is not much else I can do for about a day, and I will work my ass off to save this economy from killing us all.


Sorry to say, once you become a mother, what you wanted in life is dead and gone. It's all about your kid now. You need to live for them. Your dreams come 2nd to their needs... PERIOD


So? What's your point?.


If you can't accept that, and live as such, then you cannot expect everyone else around you to cater to what YOU want.


I accept that just fine, thank you very much. And, in fact, it is because I want my daughter to live in a better future that I am so driven. Read my threads before you start flapping your metaphorical gums.



posted on Apr, 21 2011 @ 11:45 AM
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Originally posted by Chai_An

Originally posted by davidgrouchy
You, just as everyone I have known my entire life, are suffering from Antinomia.

I say send it.
Send it every day.
Send it to everyone.
Parents, friends, neigbors.
Mail copies of it to them weekly.

Do this for years on end. Never change a word,
and everytime they try to contact you notify the police you are being stalked.

Unless it's your child.


David Grouchy
edit on 20-4-2011 by davidgrouchy because: (no reason given)


I've read and re-read your comment and it makes no sense for her to do what you suggest. Why would she waste her time and money sending these folks this letter over and over when the guilty parties know what they did and how they hurt her? She would be wise to attempt positive contact with her child without any mention of the adult deceit that lead to the current living situation. In the end her child will realize he or she was always loved and apart of their parents' thoughts. Sending that long letter rehashing betrayal would serve only to give legal substance to her adversaries, in reality she would be harassing them thusly creating more problems for herself.


To be fair, the letter I wrote dealt mainly with comments and attitudes I encountered on the trip and I never got a chance to address them. But more and more, I'm thinking they're not worth the effort. I'll just not contact them if I can help it.



posted on Apr, 21 2011 @ 11:47 AM
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reply to post by Binder
 


Good for you! I'm glad you won. [smile] I hope I can accomplish this, but I have a disadvantage - I can't get ONE job, let alone three. LOL!



posted on Apr, 21 2011 @ 12:48 PM
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Originally posted by TrowaBarton
First off the fact that this is even in General conspiracies amazes me.

I don't have much to say and what I do you will not like so I will try to make it short.

You have a long way to go it seems before you can take care of yourself let alone a child. You have no residence or employment. Yet you somehow think that you are able to take care of a child?


I have had a residence for the last three years. Yes, I am certain I can take care of her. Maybe not buy her 30 pairs of new shoes like my sister did (the new Imelda Marcos, perhaps?), but I surely can put a roof over her head, food in her belly, clothes on her back, and more love than anyone might think possible. So I have her needs covered.


You wrote an e-mail which you should not send in any way shape or form. You put things on their which no one should say to any eight year old and then tell everyone here that they wouldn't show it to her.


Again, I know they would not show her that. That was for her in the future and for them now to know what they are doing with her.


So let me get this straight The people who are trying to "brainwash" your daughter wouldn't use fuel that you, yourself are supplying them to do this? That doesn't make sense to me and how it has to so many others ..... just boggles my mind.


Boggles my mind, too, trying to figure out what you're trying to say here. My family brainwashed my child into seeing only the few times her father raised his voice and hand to her. He overreacted the one time she came out of her room with her poop smeared all over herself - he slapped her and made her take a cold shower. Though harsh, it made an impression - she never did it again. Once, when she was kicking and hitting him, and he repeatedly asked her to stop, he cuffed her shoulder, and said, "See, it hurts, doesn't it?" She stopped hitting him (and ceased hitting altogether). And the third time he laid hand to her, he pressed at her neck,a push, and she fell onto her tail end. This incident he torments himself over even to this day. There was really no reason for him to have done that and he has asked her forgiveness over and over.

He can be a bit gruff, and every now and then, I saw it bother my child, but maybe a couple times a month...and it was usually when she was doing something he asked her to stop doing (yelling, running around, that sort of thing) and when she kept doing it, eventually he would raise his voice, and she would then cry.

These few incidents were focused on, and she was told what a bad daddy she had, and wasn't it awful what he did, and daddy and mommy made mistakes and they'll never change... After nearly four years of that, yeah. She thinks her father was a child abuser. Never did they ask what FUN things she did with her daddy - and there was MUCH of that.

Her father's step-mother was not a successful parent, really, and has a distance in her relationship with her daughter. My daughter's father and I had a very close, happy, relationship. On top of that, the step-mother had asked my husband if she could adopt him when she first came on the scene in his life (he was about 8 or 10ish...) and his mother lived just down the road. He thought only orphans got adopted, so he said No. She has been less than kind to him since then - to put it mildly.

I strongly suspect that she wanted to mess with us.


You seem to be an idealist and I envy that. I however am not and as a poster above stated Once you have a child your ideals, hopes, dreams etc. either get put on hold until they can take care of themselves or they just go out the window all together.


Or there's plenty of time available for them. And I am NOT an idealist. I am a pragmatist with a pragmatic solution to the issues on this planet, and for my daughter's sake, I will do what it takes to get the ideas, to get the solution, out there. If I let it go "out the window," not only am I not being true to her or myself, I am not being true to Humanity.


My advice would be to stop posting on here from the public library or wherever you post from. Drop the I'm gonna change the world crap, and get your life in order. Get a job, get an apartment, an auto, an actual cell phone (not one issued from where/what ever company or organization that only issues you 68 minutes a month). Live like this for a year or two, save up money get a real attorney and then go get your child back.


I have an apartment. Been here three years. I have been trying to get a job. 35,000+ attempts in five years. I can't get or afford a car until I am offered a job. I have the only phone I can afford until I get a job. It's a free phone/free minutes, and I take what I can get. I would love to, but you be arthritic, 54, female and competing with fifty 20- and 30-somethings for every job you apply to. See how far in today's economy THAT runs.

Lovely advice - only I would have done that five years ago if that was an option.


I'm sorry for coming off as mean, however my father left when I was 3 and I didn't see nor hear from him for 14 years after. Although we repaired our relationship it was never what I wanted and he passed just a few months ago. I have had a hard time with it and I still sit and wonder what things would've been like if (thinking about this is actually why I posted) ............ . Alas at the end of the day it was his choice to continue to live his life and not be there for his children.


I'm so sorry to hear. I hope you find peace in your heart.


It sounds to me like you are doing the same and have been told as much by people in the "real world". You didn't like it so you came here to get sympathy and help re -affirm you imo skewed beliefs. Sorry I'm not going to co-sign your BS like many of the posters in here have done.


I recommend reevaluation, given the number of incorrect assumptions you have made here.


Lets be honest OP you are not looking for people to tell you not to send this letter you are looking for sympathy so you can feel justified to continue doing things your way and play the victim instead of living how you should and doing what you must to get your daughter back.


No. I'm looking for advice. And what I am doing is the very best I have had the opportunity to try for.


I hope you come to your senses and do what must be done and not what you feel should be done. In the mean time I feel your daughter is right where she should be.


All I can do I have been doing. Y'know... There's an identifiable look employers often get when I walk in to an interview. For a while, I didn't know what it was - and then, one day it dawned on me. That look said clearly, "Oh. She's old." I mean, I can dress professionally as the best of 'em. I was in banking for many years, after all.

When one is up against that in administration, graphics, video production, web animation (Flash), and even chicken plucker, there's nothing one can do.


Best of Luck


Thank you. I haven't seen any of that around for a long while - not since I was Art Director on a civilian contract with the USMC and making $60,000 a year. Lost that job when 9/11 happened.


P.S. Please realize every second of everyday you are away from your child is time with her that you will never get back


This has not escaped my awareness. Why do you think I am so angry with these who reneged on their agreement when we asked for her back three years ago.
edit on 4/21/2011 by Amaterasu because: tags



posted on Apr, 21 2011 @ 12:54 PM
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Originally posted by DAVID64

Originally posted by davidgrouchy
You, just as everyone I have known my entire life, are suffering from Antinomia.

I say send it.
Send it every day.
Send it to everyone.
Parents, friends, neigbors.
Mail copies of it to them weekly.

Do this for years on end. Never change a word,
and everytime they try to contact you notify the police you are being stalked.

Unless it's your child.


David Grouchy
edit on 20-4-2011 by davidgrouchy because: (no reason given)



I agree %100. These people screwed you over and should know how you feel about it. They may think that somewhere down the road, all will be forgiven. Don't. These are the kind of people who deserved to be hated and reminded constantly of why. Your friend is wrong. SEND IT. Take out the "Please" when you tell them not to contact you.


I thank you so much for your view. I agree that they deserve nothing, but I believe wisdom falls on the side of holding onto it. I have the satisfaction of posting it on the web, and getting many bits of input. That's enough for now.



posted on Apr, 21 2011 @ 12:55 PM
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Allow me to say that I apologize for my incorrect statements and that I was wrong in saying them. I will evaluate some of my post. In the mean time as before I wish you best of luck in getting your daughter back.

Respectfully

DeWayne
edit on 21/4/11 by TrowaBarton because: Spelling



posted on Apr, 21 2011 @ 01:11 PM
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Originally posted by TrowaBarton
Allow me to say that I apologize for my incorrect statements and that I was wrong in saying them. I will evaluate some of my post. In the mean time as before I wish you best of luck in getting your daughter back.

Respectfully

DeWayne


Not a problem, DeWayne. Thank you for your input. [smile]



posted on Apr, 22 2011 @ 11:29 AM
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Originally posted by Amaterasu

Congratulations on all the stars. First, where did you get this "wandering vagabond style mess" from? I have been at the same residence for three years. Maybe you should examine some of your assumptions.

You've been living with your sister or brother, or whatever, and a "life partner" and their "life partner" and your ex, and whatever. Your home life is not stable. It's a confusing mess.




I was laid off in 2006. I have applied to over 35,000 jobs since then. In person and on the net. I have had a hundred or more interviews. I am limited to desk jobs. No one is hiring old arthritic ladies when they have 50 or more 20- and 30-somethings applying. I went through savings, I went through 401K, all the support my friends and family could offer, and and went homeless because when I finally went to social services, I made the error of telling them I used to have a 401K but it was gone and that was why I was there.

They insisted I prove I DIDN'T have a 401K. The closing statement would be ok. In moves, the statement had been lost, and I called the company who bought out the company I had worked for and after being referred to about eight numbers, I was routed back to the original number. I wrote a letter but it vanished into corporate hell, and meanwhile...we sent my daughter to stay with my sister until we were stable. We were stable three years ago and that is when we first tried to terminate the guardianship.

What? Seriously? You're gonna throw out you've applied for 35,000 jobs? Do the math, that's like 32 jobs EVER SINGLE DAY OF ALL THREE YEARS. That's a freakin' lie and we both know it.
Besides, McDonalds is hiring 50k people?

Also, you're "confined to a desk job" and "no one hires old arthritic women"... you have an eight year old daughter... even if you had her at 42, you're at best 50... hell yes people hire 50 year olds, unless they're recycled hippies with no degree and no related job experience...

Oh wait - are you holding out for a "management position"?

So... We have an apartment, ok?

Who's "we"? Who has an apartment? Who's name is the lease in? Are you paying rent? Who else lives there? This whole "we" thing needs to get dropped. Unless you've got a mouse in your pocket?



No. And I'll tell you why. I believe I bring a solution to poverty on this planet, and I will fight to make it well-known. Because it won't work otherwise. There's plenty of time to look for work and take care of business. No "idealistic dream" or "political party," sir/madam. A solution for the planet in these troubled times.

You can't even solve your own "poverty" problem... how in the hell can you solve the world's? Clean up your own back yard before you decide to venture out to save the world.

Idealistic is exactly what you are - you don't like your life so you're escaping it with this garbage (and I'd bet a heaping portion of exotic plants and chemicals).


I accept that just fine, thank you very much. And, in fact, it is because I want my daughter to live in a better future that I am so driven. Read my threads before you start flapping your metaphorical gums.

Obviously you accept none of it.... or you wouldn't be on here desperately seeking affirmation that you're not a selfish nut job and you actually deserve custody of your daughter.

If you pull yourself out of the situation and read this as a news article, you'd be shaking your head at the mom and saying "thank goodness someone cares about the little girl".

Instead - you've made yourself into some bologna super-victim that everyone's just got it out for....

Like I said - we grown ups don't get to have our cake and eat it too. You want to be a fringe political activist out there trying to save the world one troubled starbucks after another - fine... just don't expect everyone else to be ok with you dragging your daughter along for the ride.



posted on Apr, 23 2011 @ 01:59 AM
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Originally posted by gncnew

Originally posted by Amaterasu

Congratulations on all the stars. First, where did you get this "wandering vagabond style mess" from? I have been at the same residence for three years. Maybe you should examine some of your assumptions.


You've been living with your sister or brother, or whatever, and a "life partner" and their "life partner" and your ex, and whatever. Your home life is not stable. It's a confusing mess.


No. Me and my daughter's father (my husband) have been living on one coast. My sister, her partner, her ex-husband and my daughter have been living on the other.

My home is very normal. One man, one woman, and a place in our hearts for our daughter. We rent an apartment.



I was laid off in 2006. I have applied to over 35,000 jobs since then. In person and on the net. I have had a hundred or more interviews. I am limited to desk jobs. No one is hiring old arthritic ladies when they have 50 or more 20- and 30-somethings applying. I went through savings, I went through 401K, all the support my friends and family could offer, and and went homeless because when I finally went to social services, I made the error of telling them I used to have a 401K but it was gone and that was why I was there.

They insisted I prove I DIDN'T have a 401K. The closing statement would be ok. In moves, the statement had been lost, and I called the company who bought out the company I had worked for and after being referred to about eight numbers, I was routed back to the original number. I wrote a letter but it vanished into corporate hell, and meanwhile...we sent my daughter to stay with my sister until we were stable. We were stable three years ago and that is when we first tried to terminate the guardianship.

What? Seriously? You're gonna throw out you've applied for 35,000 jobs? Do the math, that's like 32 jobs EVER SINGLE DAY OF ALL THREE YEARS. That's a freakin' lie and we both know it.
Besides, McDonalds is hiring 50k people?


[sigh] FIVE years. FIVE years. And I can easily apply over the Interweb to 25-50 jobs a day. EASILY. So though I don't apply every day, I may have applied to as many as 50,000. So that's a freaking failure to read. I have been out of work five years. After two years I went homeless for a few months, and have been in this apartment for three.

Besides, I can't stand for more than 1/2 hour at a stretch, and Mickey D's has no jobs, therefore, that I can do.


Also, you're "confined to a desk job" and "no one hires old arthritic women"... you have an eight year old daughter... even if you had her at 42, you're at best 50... hell yes people hire 50 year olds, unless they're recycled hippies with no degree and no related job experience...


I had my daughter 12 days before my 46th birthday. I am 54 now. And if one is lucky, one can be hired, but I haven't been lucky yet. I apply for banking, administrative, graphics, video production, Flash animation, and even chicken plucker. I compete with about 30-50 other applicants, for every job I have tried for - and virtually all of them are 20- or 30-something. If you were an employer and you were choosing between a 25 year old and a creaky 54 year old with roughly the same knowledge...which would YOU hire?


Oh wait - are you holding out for a "management position"?


Does chicken plucker sound like management to you?



So... We have an apartment, ok?

Who's "we"? Who has an apartment? Who's name is the lease in? Are you paying rent? Who else lives there? This whole "we" thing needs to get dropped. Unless you've got a mouse in your pocket?


We is my daughter's father (my husband in some states by common law) and myself. We both are. He pays half, Dept of Soc. Serv. pays mine. No one but us two. No. My husband and I are in this together. We are BOTH my daughter's parents.



No. And I'll tell you why. I believe I bring a solution to poverty on this planet, and I will fight to make it well-known. Because it won't work otherwise. There's plenty of time to look for work and take care of business. No "idealistic dream" or "political party," sir/madam. A solution for the planet in these troubled times.

You can't even solve your own "poverty" problem... how in the hell can you solve the world's? Clean up your own back yard before you decide to venture out to save the world.


Read my threads and then if you want to be rude, at least you'll have a clue while you're doing it. End of Entropy and Ethical Planetarian. Just because I have been unlucky does NOT follow that I have nothing to offer.


Idealistic is exactly what you are - you don't like your life so you're escaping it with this garbage (and I'd bet a heaping portion of exotic plants and chemicals).


I am NOT an idealist. I'm a pragmatist with a pragmatic solution. And because this is so, the fact that you are spewing the above makes it abundantly clear you haven't read my solution. You would lose that bet, by the way.



I accept that just fine, thank you very much. And, in fact, it is because I want my daughter to live in a better future that I am so driven. Read my threads before you start flapping your metaphorical gums.

Obviously you accept none of it.... or you wouldn't be on here desperately seeking affirmation that you're not a selfish nut job and you actually deserve custody of your daughter.


In case you missed it, the post was giving background and asking for input on whether I should send a letter or not. And in case you missed it, I used that input and made my choice. That you have a reading comprehension problem such that you somehow came away with the idea I was seeking affirmations of any kind is a sad reflection on you.


If you pull yourself out of the situation and read this as a news article, you'd be shaking your head at the mom and saying "thank goodness someone cares about the little girl".


Or... I would say, gee, that person is asking for advice and was screwed by the attorney she was assigned. Let me offer my views in hopes they may help her make a choice. Depends on whether I'm the sort to crap on others or not, I suppose.


Instead - you've made yourself into some bologna super-victim that everyone's just got it out for....


No. I merely asked for advice. YOU painted me with that brush.


Like I said - we grown ups don't get to have our cake and eat it too. You want to be a fringe political activist out there trying to save the world one troubled starbucks after another - fine... just don't expect everyone else to be ok with you dragging your daughter along for the ride.


Said like a true ignorant. Read my work. It is NOT political. It is a pragmatic solution and my involvement in no way takes away from my ability to care for and raise my child.



posted on Apr, 23 2011 @ 03:45 AM
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reply to post by Amaterasu
 



Originally posted by Amaterasu

No. And I'll tell you why. I believe I bring a solution to poverty on this planet, and I will fight to make it well-known. Because it won't work otherwise. There's plenty of time to look for work and take care of business. No "idealistic dream" or "political party," sir/madam. A solution for the planet in these troubled times.


So how is that solution coming? How much poverty have you ended? If you can’t even end your own poverty, do you really expect people to believe you have the answer? What makes you any different from a 300 pound guy telling everybody that he discovered a super-effective weight loss strategy?

Making up your own idealistic political party and then deluding yourself into believing that you’re changing the world is nothing more than a naive fantasy.

There are people with real jobs and real solutions out in the real world right now working to alleviate poverty. I’ve read your ideas. What makes you think an unemployed person living on 58 dollars a month spreading your fanciful ideas on conspiracy websites is so much more capable of solving the problem of poverty than all these huge humanitarian organizations with millions of dollars, thousands of volunteers and workers, and highly educated personnel that have been doing this for decades and have achieved real results?


I AM NOT HOMELESS NOW AND HAVEN'T BEEN FOR THREE YEARS. I have applied to over 35,000 jobs - maybe as many as 50,000. I am NOT failing to do what I can, but once I have scoured the net for jobs to apply to, there is not much else I can do for about a day, and I will work my ass off to save this economy from killing us all.


The fact that you’ve applied to over 50,000 jobs only demonstrates how incredibly obstinate and persistent you are in your delusions. At what point are you going to stop and admit to yourself that you’re going about it the wrong way?

You throw out these huge numbers in a sorry attempt to convince yourself that you’ve done all you can and that there must be something wrong with the world and not you. Perhaps instead of making thousands of posts on a conspiracy forum you could be developing skills, learning new trades, and gaining practical knowledge that could help you get a job.

In this day and age, there is absolutely no reason any reasonable educated American citizen cannot get some sort of job.

No 8 year old girl deserves to live in such destitute conditions. If you can’t even support yourself, then there is no reason to believe that you can support an 8 year old girl. You would be doing her a disservice to remove her from a financial stable environment during such an important stage of her life.



posted on Apr, 23 2011 @ 04:36 AM
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the most important thing is your daughter is happy and safe even if she aint with her real mom you should be grateful your sister was there for her and she was not put in to care .i don`t really know the laws but surely as your daughter gets older she will be able to make her own mind up they can`t brain wash her that much ,and chances are she will resent your sister for any lies she was fed .Hope everything works out for the best .



posted on Apr, 23 2011 @ 07:02 AM
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Originally posted by Epiphron
reply to post by Amaterasu
 



Originally posted by Amaterasu

No. And I'll tell you why. I believe I bring a solution to poverty on this planet, and I will fight to make it well-known. Because it won't work otherwise. There's plenty of time to look for work and take care of business. No "idealistic dream" or "political party," sir/madam. A solution for the planet in these troubled times.


So how is that solution coming? How much poverty have you ended? If you can’t even end your own poverty, do you really expect people to believe you have the answer? What makes you any different from a 300 pound guy telling everybody that he discovered a super-effective weight loss strategy?


Given that in order for it to work, awareness of the solution needs to hit the tipping point, and I have no way of telling how many now know, I cannot effectively assess. But if it does reach the tipping point then virtually everybody will make it happen. It's slow going. And the difference is that the solution only requires enough awareness and is irrelevant to my financial status.


Making up your own idealistic political party and then deluding yourself into believing that you’re changing the world is nothing more than a naive fantasy.


Again... It's NOT idealistic, it's pragmatic. It's NOT a political party but a Human one. And I do NOT delude myself - I have spent 50+ years looking for a solution and I believe I have found one. For my daughter's sake - so she doesn't live as a slave for a police state, I am driven. Maybe you too should actually read what I present so that you have a clue before you attack.


There are people with real jobs and real solutions out in the real world right now working to alleviate poverty. I’ve read your ideas. What makes you think an unemployed person living on 58 dollars a month spreading your fanciful ideas on conspiracy websites is so much more capable of solving the problem of poverty than all these huge humanitarian organizations with millions of dollars, thousands of volunteers and workers, and highly educated personnel that have been doing this for decades and have achieved real results?


Oh. You say you DID read. I couldn't tell. You sound so ignorant of what I wrote. What makes you think that good ideas cannot be had by those who are reasonably bright but short on luck? What makes you think that ideas are tied to how much money someone is making at the moment? What makes you think there is any "fancy" involved? Poverty CANNOT be solved as long as We have a society with a money system (scarcity of energy and a need for money to account for meaningful expenditure of it). So... Until the plenum energy extraction methods are released, until We have effectively infinite energy, We will need money. Once that energy is released to Us, We will see the need for money dissipate.

Until then, We can have all the "experts" and all the dollars and all the volunteers and all the workers and all the education in the world and poverty will stay.



I AM NOT HOMELESS NOW AND HAVEN'T BEEN FOR THREE YEARS. I have applied to over 35,000 jobs - maybe as many as 50,000. I am NOT failing to do what I can, but once I have scoured the net for jobs to apply to, there is not much else I can do for about a day, and I will work my ass off to save this economy from killing us all.


The fact that you’ve applied to over 50,000 jobs only demonstrates how incredibly obstinate and persistent you are in your delusions. At what point are you going to stop and admit to yourself that you’re going about it the wrong way?


Hey. Lay those ideas on me! How do you propose an arthritic old lady go about getting a job? I have scoured the Interweb, I have pounded the pavement, I have gone to job fairs, I have looked through publications, I have asked friends and acquaintances - and even strangers. I have cold called. Please tell me what else I should be doing! (I used to work for the Employment Development Department - I have a clue about looking for work. But maybe you have info I never ran across...)


You throw out these huge numbers in a sorry attempt to convince yourself that you’ve done all you can and that there must be something wrong with the world and not you.


No. I throw out those numbers in a sorry attempt to answer someone's questions. I never said there was "something wrong with the world. I AM saying I have hurdles now I did not have when I was 20- and 30-something and could ace out any 54 year old lady in getting a job. Now, I have FAR more competition from the 20- and 30-somethings than that old lady I could easily ace out. She may have had 10 competitors. I have 20, 30, sometimes 50.

I'm being realistic.


Perhaps instead of making thousands of posts on a conspiracy forum you could be developing skills, learning new trades, and gaining practical knowledge that could help you get a job.


Perhaps I could give up on my daughter living in a world worth living, too. And to be fair, my skill set is wide ranged. I have been in banking (14 years), newspaper production, instructional software development, print graphics, editing, web graphics, writing, retail, theatre, and even poked my nose into programming (which I suck at). What skill can a desk-bound 54-year old lady learn - for free - that will land her a job. Beyond what is known?


In this day and age, there is absolutely no reason any reasonable educated American citizen cannot get some sort of job.


This was tongue in cheek, right? You are aware that the "official" unemployment rate is a lie, right? Many people I know - friends across the country who were programmers, call center service techs, bankers, artists, architects, ad infinitum - lost their job, couldn't find another one, ran out of unemployment - and now don't count in those totals. It's probably closer to 25% than their paltry figures.

Which means in all jobs, I have a LOT of younger competition. And I mean a LOT. I don't know any employer who will hire a creaky old lady over a 20- or 30-something. Not a one.


No 8 year old girl deserves to live in such destitute conditions. If you can’t even support yourself, then there is no reason to believe that you can support an 8 year old girl. You would be doing her a disservice to remove her from a financial stable environment during such an important stage of her life.


Oh. I see. MONEY is more important than love. Forget that she is turning out spoiled, haughty, judgmental, plastic and a Disney Consumer Doll where she is now. (Not to mention she seems to want to give Imelda Marcos a run for her money - with 30!!! pairs of shoes.) Yeah, I'm sure that she's better off with money. The loving, spontaneously giving, warm, empathetic, caring child I sent to my sister's is no more - and it wasn't ME who created that. I am stable (been here three years) - I can provide food, clothing, shelter, and more love than anyone can conceive of. Needs met.

This is something I wrote before I saw her when I went across country:

When My Daughter Left My Care She Was Becoming…

When my daughter left my care she was becoming my best friend. She was becoming one who chose joy over sadness, one with whimsical sense of humor. She was becoming one who contemplated things and made insightful observations. She was becoming spontaneously giving. She was becoming one who called for family hugs and got them. She was becoming assertive – yet polite and dignified, especially in public. She was becoming a good conversationalist – even at four years old. She was becoming helpful and concerned, warm and open – a loving, creative Being.

All these things I encouraged in her. All these things made her a delight to have as a daughter and a friend. I am so blessed for the years that I had with her.

When my daughter left my care it broke my heart. When the system failed us and our Awesome Family (as she called us) was to be homeless, I sent her to my sister 3000 miles away, in open trust that my daughter would be well cared for and with the agreement she would come home to us when we were stable.

For over two year we have been trying to get her back, but she has been legally kidnapped… And now my heart is doubly broke. If what my daughter was becoming was a sign of “bad parent(s),” I’ll eat my hat.

I wonder who she is becoming now.
edit on 4/23/2011 by Amaterasu because: clarification



posted on Apr, 23 2011 @ 07:16 AM
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Originally posted by shambles84
the most important thing is your daughter is happy and safe even if she aint with her real mom you should be grateful your sister was there for her and she was not put in to care .i don`t really know the laws but surely as your daughter gets older she will be able to make her own mind up they can`t brain wash her that much ,and chances are she will resent your sister for any lies she was fed .Hope everything works out for the best .


Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I am grateful my sister was there when we went homeless. But I am NOT grateful my sister legally kidnapped her, reneging on her word. Nor do I like the person my daughter is becoming in their care.

When she's older - we will see.



posted on Apr, 24 2011 @ 10:51 AM
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Wow, I can't even imagine the pain your going through right now. I agree with everything that Annee has said with respect to sending nothing other than loving, positive messages to your daughter. I have absolutely no experience with this type of situation but I am confident that so long as your daughter knows that you love and care for her, she will seek you out in time on her own. I will keep both of you in my prayers.

With regards to sending letters to the other parties involved, personally, I would not. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I disagree with your position, it's just that I believe in the principle that negative energy only attracts more negative energy and the same principle applies to positive energy or thoughts.

The reason I say these things because of my belief in "Divine Order." That is to say, I believe that everything happens for a reason and that we, as spiritual beings, choose our life experiences based on our individual paths to divine expression. Your daughter choose you & your husband, precisely because of the unique life experience you offered to her spirit and whatever lessons she derives from this experience, just know that it was a necessary phase of her spiritual enlightenment chosen by her on a much higher level.

The only thing I can say with respect to you and your husband is that there must be lessons of spiritual enlightenment to be gained from this experience for you as well. I don't know, maybe it's a lesson in learning how to forgive those who commit grievances against us or something like that. For instance; I can't imagine how difficult it would be to forgive someone who had murdered one of my loved ones, but from everything I've seen on the subject, forgiveness seems to be the only way to overcome the hatred.

I'm going to cut and paste a couple of post I made in another thread regarding the subject of forgiveness, hope it helps to ease the pain.



I remember a quote that goes something like this; "One act of kindness can erase a multitude of sins." Now I don't believe that it's actually the kind deed that brings on the forgiveness but rather it's the mindset behind the good deed.

Regarding the title question of your thread, I definitely believe that's there is good in all of us. Actually, I believe that good is at the very core of our nature and our oneness. This is exactly why I don't approve of "hate" or the expression thereof.

I not a huge fan of organized religion although I do believe that there is some truth in the bible. When Jesus was nailed to the cross and he said; "Forgive them lord for they know not what they do," he was making a direct recognition of the good in all of us. Despite the atrocities being carried out against him, he still felt it was important to recognize the good in his attackers and forgive them for their bad choices. At least that's the message I get from it.





If we listen to and follow our inner guidance we will create and enjoy a much more harmonious world for us all to live in.

Free will is something that sometimes results in bad choices and we all make them from time to time. Bad choices are usually the result of not taking the time to listen to our inner guidance and making the best choice for ourself and others. Sometimes we listen to our individual ego instead and the result is always negative, not just for us but for everyone concerned.

You know, there are physical laws that govern our actions here on earth and to the best of our abilities, we all try not to go against them. Like gravity, we all basically know it's effects and try not to violate it's laws by jumping off tall buildings etc.. (at least, not without a parachute)

I believe there are also some much less recognized laws that govern our existence on a much larger scale, probably universal. One of them goes like this: "It's impossible to harm another individual without also harming yourself, just as it's impossible to help another individual without also helping yourself." This is because "We Are One."

Based on this universal law of nature, I believe that it's quite clear just where forgiveness comes from. For instance; As we learn to realize the good in others and forgive them for their actions us, (which were the result of their bad choices) we also learn to forgive ourselves for our own bad choices and actions against others.

This is the fundamental reason that I don't support "Hate" in any form. Just think about it, quite often when you hate someone, the one you hate doesn't even know it. So while you're sitting there expelling time and energy on thoughts of hatred, this person isn't even aware of it much less harmed. (at this point you are the only one harmed by your hatred) Not to change the subject but there's another universal law that goes like this; "Thoughts held in mind, produce of their kind," that I'll explain now. When the thoughts of hatred have festered long enough they produce actions, usually resulting in harm to the one you hated. (now both parties have been harmed)

In other words, you have to project the good that comes from within yourself in order to see the good in others.



I'm also confident that those who have taken your child are on their own spiritual path to enlightenment and that they will be dealing with lessons derived from this experience. IMO, probably having more to do with forgiveness of self.

I don't pretent to understand all of these lessons, I only know that we are here to evolve both physically and spiritually and that this is part of that process. As physically painful as many of life's lessons seem to be, I am learning to seek my peace through knowing that everything is in divine order.

Hope I've helped to ease your pain. Peace & Love



posted on Apr, 24 2011 @ 12:07 PM
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reply to post by Flatfish
 


Thank you, fish. [smile] I am unsure whether I can forgive...I waited over 45 years to have this special gift, this child of mine. I cherish her and miss her every day. How does one forgive betrayal on this level?

Still... I will try very hard to let go. I have decided not to send this, so maybe that's the first step.



posted on Apr, 24 2011 @ 12:28 PM
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reply to post by Amaterasu
 


To be honest, I'm not sure that I could either. I'm sure that it will probably be the hardest thing you've ever attempted but I know in my heart that if we don't learn to forgive those who have harmed us, then the resulting hatred will eat us up.

For now I would concentrate on making sure that your daughter knows that you love her and that you want her in your life. I wish I had some advice that would ease your broken heart but I'm at a loss for words. Really sounds like you could use some heart felt hugs right now and I wish I were there to give you one myself.



posted on Apr, 24 2011 @ 12:52 PM
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reply to post by Flatfish
 


[hugs!] I don't hate them. I just want nothing further to do with them. Sadly, they have my daughter.

I appreciate your concern very much. Thank you.



posted on Apr, 25 2011 @ 11:44 AM
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Originally posted by Amaterasu

No. Me and my daughter's father (my husband) have been living on one coast. My sister, her partner, her ex-husband and my daughter have been living on the other.

My home is very normal. One man, one woman, and a place in our hearts for our daughter. We rent an apartment.


Look, you don't have to agree with me - but you came on here asking ATS of all things for input. This means either you are seeking affirmation for your choices, or you're actually confused and need guidance.

I suspect the former - but it doesn't really matter what I think. I'm simply calling things as I see them from the limited amount I know of your life from this post.

BUT

If your lesbian sister is living with her girlfriend and her ex husband - and the judge still gave them custody over you - chances are you're not fit to be a mom.

Unless your sister is related to the Trumps or something, she's not a power player with the money to make this a "conspiracy".

And your common-law husband (funny how you left that out at first) was fighting for custody on his own? What the hell is going on exactly? The whole thing sounds high degrees of absurd.

You've been out of work for 5 years, and per your own ridiculous estimation you've applied to 35,000 jobs (an average of 20 a day, every day, for five years???).

We can just ignore that entire statement as it's patently fictional. You need to get a job. Period. Then, you need to get married - in front of a judge or a pastor - with a legit license.

Then, you need to take your sister to court with a lawyer that you've hired.

Your lawyer will cite precedent after precedent where the state consistently awards custody to the birth parents even after previous judgements. Your lawyer can then cite the obvious unstable home life your sister is providing by living a confusing mix of lifestyle.

But - my guess is that you'll do none of this, you'll instead choose to fight poverty with ATS links and forum posts (still just shaking my head at this whole gimmick you've got going) and pretty much have zero impact in any measurable way in either your own life, or your daughters.

Like I said before - it's harsh, but someone needs to tell you the truth in love. I don't judge you a bit. Do your thing girl, just don't expect others to placate to it.



posted on Apr, 25 2011 @ 12:31 PM
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I've been reading this drama for quite awhile now. If you take all the emotion out of this (which is just about everything) what we have here is one side of a story. We don't know what is really happening here. We know she gave up custody voluntarily when she was going through bad times. We know that the opposing party has been successful in court and the OP has not. Given the reported relationships between the parties that is puzzling. What kind of case did the opposing party make that was so compelling that a judge was willing to terminate the OP's parental rights? That's really very rare, so it has to be something pretty dramatic. OP says it's all lies, but the fact is we do not have the benefit of being able to talk to the opposing side.

I think you can see hints of what has happened by simply reading this thread. OP is a good writer and has laid out an extensive set of grievances. When people reply to her and the reply is not to her liking, she just attacks and more often than not, calls them names. She seethes in anger, whether it is in court where her own lawyer says she is screwed, or whether she is on ATS taking on all comers, lashing back at every single point made, defending her every phrase. And doing all this on ATS?

Is this rational behavior? Has she really applied for 35,000 jobs and not got a one? She blames it all on age discrimination, but maybe it's her attitude. Albert Einstein said the definition of "insanity" is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. Clearly, what she is doing is not working, therefore her goals must be somewhat different than what she claims. I suspect she gets quite a lot of satisfaction coming here on ATS and throwing her weight around. It's cathartic. Unlike the real world, she can always "win" here because she ALWAYS has the last word.

If you were in a position to do so, would you hire this person? I surely would not. I wouldn't hire her for the front line at McDonald's. This is a package of C-4 that could explode at any moment. If you were a judge and this is what you had to go on, would you award custody? I surely wouldn't do that either. Kids need stability and you're not going to find that here.
edit on 4/25/2011 by schuyler because: (no reason given)





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