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University Ship Le'Tres welcomes guest speaker Glon Vindal. Subject American United States studies
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Dean Commander Snu Choco: .....so without further adue, high students and prima guests, please stand for the astute Post Master Doctor Glon Vindal of
American United States studies!
(applause)
Glon Vindal: Thank you. Thank you Dean Commander Choco.
Choco: It's an honor. I just want to say that Post Master Doctor received his doctorate in American United States studies at the tender age of 23. He received his master doctorate at 31, just incredible. And when he was 75, he announced his intent to retire at 80. He received his post honors at the age of 79 but as you all know, you have to retire before you are officially a post. Post Master Doctor is the only basehuman in this super sector to receive qualify for Post before he actually retired. Because you can't even start your post studies until you announce your intent to retire. Post Master Doctor, it's truely an honor.
Vindal: Thank you again Dean Commander. High students, prima guests, thank you. I appreciate it. For those of you that attend here, I know it isn't easy living on a university ship. You Le'Tres students should be proud of yourselves. I attended a number of university ships decades ago and I can tell you, the food is the same. The quarters are the same. The engine drives are the same. The hulls are the same. When they scan your biochip for payment, do you ever wonder were all the credits go?
(cheers)
Vindal: Alright well, settle in. They assured me the gravity drive has been repaired. It's amazing what a three second pulse can do to a gravity drive. What a mess. I stepped off my transport shuttle and no more then 30 seconds pass and I'm drifting, the shuttle is drifting. I was two feet off the floor when the drive reactivated. I heard about the gravity issues at Le'Tres but I really hoped I would be in and out before anything.......Like you say, you haven't been to Le'Tres until you've been here during a gravity pulse. But let's forget about that and just jump right in.
I'm Glon Vindal. I was born on Sni in the Thulalunge sector about 8 1/2 decades ago. Sni is a 3Earth planet, most of you should know that from your basic studies. It's only three super sectors away. And as you know, I am regarded somewhat as a paratike in my field. I think that's pretty unfair. Those of you that are not from this galaxy may be unfamiliar with a paratike. They are disgusting little creatures from my home planet, Sni.
A paratike defends itself with a scaley cord that sits on top of it's head. It has five eyes all the way around it's little head and when it feels threatened, it sprays the most nasty, smelly, disgusting flume of fecal matter I have ever known. It has a firing range of about 70 feet and it can send out about 3 gallons of liquid fecal matter in about 4 seconds.
If your in the special forces for planet operations on the ground, you have to run up to that thing and catch it. They call it the fecal shower and everybody in that force gets wet. Everybody.
It's a bisexual animal and I don't mean it swings both ways. It's got both sets of organs between it's legs and when it wants to reproduce or have a little fun with itself, it inserts A into B and it shrieks when it does it.
When you hear that ugly thing screaming, were ever you are, you start heading some place else.
And it only eats it's own kind. If it isn't around it's own, it will let itself die, it will not eat.
So other then giving you a good spray, it's really only a psychological threat. They don't effect the food chain at all because nothing wants to eat it and it won't eat anything else. There isn't a single insect on Sni that will eat it.
I think they should round them all up and just burn them but they are protected species. So your not supposed to kill them. But people do; may the Lords of the Galaxies bless them all. But yes, they call me a paratike because I chose to only study the American United States rather then study the entire history of Earth1.
You all know that Earth1 is commonly referred to as the great grand father planet. If your a human of any kind, your related to someone that was born and died on Earth1.
It was a curious planet but of all the mononations that came and went during it's existence, the most curious of all was the American United States, commonly referred to as the AUS.
Here you had one of the largest countries on the planet and when it was discovered by Sir Christopher Columbus born in a country called Spain but raised in a near rival called the English United Kingdom, the only intelligent life they found when they arrived in the early 1800s, some say even the late 1700s, the only intelligent life they encountered were the last of Earth1's caveman generation. Truly an astonishing find.
So then you had the youngest nation on the planet with this incredible mass of land. And somehow in the course of about 200 years, it converts itself to the most powerful mononation in the history of Earth1 up until that time.
It was responsible for the victory of what was called the Great War or the Last War. You may recognize it as the World War or One World War in the very early 2000s. Then in the mid 2000s, they had Two World War which was ten times worse then what many believed would be the last great war known to humans.
Then something strange happened, right around 2100, Three World War began but it wasn't until about 2120, about 20 full years after the first attack, that they realized they were fighting the Third Great War. This was the two tower war, some of you should be quite familiar with it. By the time Three World War was over, some five decades after it began, the entire world had been set back over 100 years. Many nations fells during this war.
And shortly after that war concluded, Four World War broke out, the first atomic war. That was the war, you all know this, that was the war that would end Earth1. Within 200 years after that war, Earth1 was void of all life down to the most microscopic level. The first space transport ships were built during this time, the death ships as they were commonly called. In 200 years, over 3 billion humans perished on those first generation ships. Not by attack, simply due to immature science. The engineers of that day had no concept of base 8 subatomic science so those first transport ships, the bulk of them never had a chance.
Some lucky humans did survive but that was mearly a numbers game. If you remained on Earth1, your chance of survival was 0. If you boarded a transport ship, those odds went up to 3. 3.
So the Fifth World War, the first of three short Galactic Wars for Earth1, the Fifth great war broke out. The "aliens" came and they had to take the approach of beating the child because you love them to make humans of that day understand.
So while many from that time referred to it as a take over and conquer approach, humans of that day were not at that time prepared to survive on or off Earth1 for any more time. Without the so called aliens, humans had literally reached the end.
But I am here today to focus not on the broad history of Earth1 itself, but rather the impact that the American United States, the AUS if you will, had on this overall outcome.
There were a number of important figures from the AUS, there was the very first President George Washington. He was the great general in the war for independence in 1876. There was the great Abraham Lincoln during the civil war in the 1960s. Then, 100 years later, President Kennedy and Vice President Johnson were asassinated by their great rival the Union of Soviets sometimes referred to as the Soviet Union by lower institutions of learning.
(laughter)
But as you may know, this led to the Emergency Elections Act of 2062 which allowed the election of the first black President, Martin King. But there is much dispute about this. Some scholars suggest Richard Nixon was the President and Martin King was the Vice President. But Richard Nixon stepped down in 2074 while President King was killed in 2068 so I really fail to understand were the dispute is. There is always a faction that insists on ignoring the facts.
But I have a multi dimensional hologram I want to show you about the life of the first President George Washington. It has sensory so your biochips should already be dialed down to avoid seizure. Remember, I'm a paratike.
(laughter)
But listen, I know you all are interested in my opinion on the theory of the lost Presidents. Those of you that have studied Earth1 history should be familiar with the arguements. Jimmy Carter, Barrack Obama, the George Bush confusion.
Look, it doesn't add up. Much was lost when Earth1 was evacuated, there was the atomic war, the three galatic wars-however short those all were-, and the massive loss of life unrelated to war. Just immature science.
But it doesn't add up. If George Washington was elected in 1876, by basic math, you can't fit the lost Presidents in. It's just not possible. I haven't seen any concrete evidence of Jimmy Carter. And if Barrack Obama was the first black President of the AUS, you have to come up with a zicanion arguement to explain President King away. his policies, President King's...........there is absolute proof of the laws he was responsible for passing. You can't make this up. His policies can't be dismissed.
For the George Bush arguement, it's clear there was only one. He was one of only two Presidents elected to three terms. If you get into to many of these conspiracy theories, pretty soon you aren't going to know any history at all.
Let me toot my own kye if a moment. There are over one million humans who have doctorates in Earth1 studies. But there are less then 100 of us in the entire universe with Post Master Doctorates in AUS history. You have to spend 2/3 of your life just to get a Post. You have to trust the science. At some point, you just have to decide the direction you want to go with your studies.
If they can me a paratike but I have worked hard for the Post and I've earned it. They don't have to respect me but I've worked very hard my entire life. History certainly has a way of rewriting itself over the course of 2,000 years but you have to decide if your going to accept it or dismiss it and move in that choosen direction.
This is what is taught in respected universities. Higher learning will teach that the lost Presidents theory is a conspiracy theory. If you want to learn about conspiracy theory, the Le'Tres University Ship is the wrong ship for you.
(clapping)
Let's go ahead with the hologram. I was told you have a HAL system here? Hyper Automated Langauge. Lords of the Galaxies, you have to love bioprocessors. Great time to be alive if you enjoy computers. HAL, are you with us?
HAL: Hello Post Master Doctor.
Vindal: Hello HAL. Can you dim the lights please?
HAL: Certainly. I hope you were not injured by the most unfortunate gravity pulse upon your arrival. I'm aware of your medical condition.
Vindal: I'm fine HAL. Thank you. HAL, can you start the hologram?
HAL: I'm most pleased that your okay. Given your medical condition, the situation was most regretable. Have you spoken to my upgrade engineer recently? His opinions on Earth1 differ vastly from yours. How enlightening such a conversation could be.
Vindal: The engineer with a nano degree in conspiracy theory? .....kiddingme..... Dean Commander, can we dial? Down alittle?
Choco: Not with the pulses in the gravity drive. All the bioprocessing goes through the HAL system for evaluation.
Vindal: That's fine. Come on, the hologram.
(hologram begins)
(applause)
Glon Vindal: Thank you. Thank you Dean Commander Choco.
Choco: It's an honor. I just want to say that Post Master Doctor received his doctorate in American United States studies at the tender age of 23. He received his master doctorate at 31, just incredible. And when he was 75, he announced his intent to retire at 80. He received his post honors at the age of 79 but as you all know, you have to retire before you are officially a post. Post Master Doctor is the only basehuman in this super sector to receive qualify for Post before he actually retired. Because you can't even start your post studies until you announce your intent to retire. Post Master Doctor, it's truely an honor.
Vindal: Thank you again Dean Commander. High students, prima guests, thank you. I appreciate it. For those of you that attend here, I know it isn't easy living on a university ship. You Le'Tres students should be proud of yourselves. I attended a number of university ships decades ago and I can tell you, the food is the same. The quarters are the same. The engine drives are the same. The hulls are the same. When they scan your biochip for payment, do you ever wonder were all the credits go?
(cheers)
Vindal: Alright well, settle in. They assured me the gravity drive has been repaired. It's amazing what a three second pulse can do to a gravity drive. What a mess. I stepped off my transport shuttle and no more then 30 seconds pass and I'm drifting, the shuttle is drifting. I was two feet off the floor when the drive reactivated. I heard about the gravity issues at Le'Tres but I really hoped I would be in and out before anything.......Like you say, you haven't been to Le'Tres until you've been here during a gravity pulse. But let's forget about that and just jump right in.
I'm Glon Vindal. I was born on Sni in the Thulalunge sector about 8 1/2 decades ago. Sni is a 3Earth planet, most of you should know that from your basic studies. It's only three super sectors away. And as you know, I am regarded somewhat as a paratike in my field. I think that's pretty unfair. Those of you that are not from this galaxy may be unfamiliar with a paratike. They are disgusting little creatures from my home planet, Sni.
A paratike defends itself with a scaley cord that sits on top of it's head. It has five eyes all the way around it's little head and when it feels threatened, it sprays the most nasty, smelly, disgusting flume of fecal matter I have ever known. It has a firing range of about 70 feet and it can send out about 3 gallons of liquid fecal matter in about 4 seconds.
If your in the special forces for planet operations on the ground, you have to run up to that thing and catch it. They call it the fecal shower and everybody in that force gets wet. Everybody.
It's a bisexual animal and I don't mean it swings both ways. It's got both sets of organs between it's legs and when it wants to reproduce or have a little fun with itself, it inserts A into B and it shrieks when it does it.
When you hear that ugly thing screaming, were ever you are, you start heading some place else.
And it only eats it's own kind. If it isn't around it's own, it will let itself die, it will not eat.
So other then giving you a good spray, it's really only a psychological threat. They don't effect the food chain at all because nothing wants to eat it and it won't eat anything else. There isn't a single insect on Sni that will eat it.
I think they should round them all up and just burn them but they are protected species. So your not supposed to kill them. But people do; may the Lords of the Galaxies bless them all. But yes, they call me a paratike because I chose to only study the American United States rather then study the entire history of Earth1.
You all know that Earth1 is commonly referred to as the great grand father planet. If your a human of any kind, your related to someone that was born and died on Earth1.
It was a curious planet but of all the mononations that came and went during it's existence, the most curious of all was the American United States, commonly referred to as the AUS.
Here you had one of the largest countries on the planet and when it was discovered by Sir Christopher Columbus born in a country called Spain but raised in a near rival called the English United Kingdom, the only intelligent life they found when they arrived in the early 1800s, some say even the late 1700s, the only intelligent life they encountered were the last of Earth1's caveman generation. Truly an astonishing find.
So then you had the youngest nation on the planet with this incredible mass of land. And somehow in the course of about 200 years, it converts itself to the most powerful mononation in the history of Earth1 up until that time.
It was responsible for the victory of what was called the Great War or the Last War. You may recognize it as the World War or One World War in the very early 2000s. Then in the mid 2000s, they had Two World War which was ten times worse then what many believed would be the last great war known to humans.
Then something strange happened, right around 2100, Three World War began but it wasn't until about 2120, about 20 full years after the first attack, that they realized they were fighting the Third Great War. This was the two tower war, some of you should be quite familiar with it. By the time Three World War was over, some five decades after it began, the entire world had been set back over 100 years. Many nations fells during this war.
And shortly after that war concluded, Four World War broke out, the first atomic war. That was the war, you all know this, that was the war that would end Earth1. Within 200 years after that war, Earth1 was void of all life down to the most microscopic level. The first space transport ships were built during this time, the death ships as they were commonly called. In 200 years, over 3 billion humans perished on those first generation ships. Not by attack, simply due to immature science. The engineers of that day had no concept of base 8 subatomic science so those first transport ships, the bulk of them never had a chance.
Some lucky humans did survive but that was mearly a numbers game. If you remained on Earth1, your chance of survival was 0. If you boarded a transport ship, those odds went up to 3. 3.
So the Fifth World War, the first of three short Galactic Wars for Earth1, the Fifth great war broke out. The "aliens" came and they had to take the approach of beating the child because you love them to make humans of that day understand.
So while many from that time referred to it as a take over and conquer approach, humans of that day were not at that time prepared to survive on or off Earth1 for any more time. Without the so called aliens, humans had literally reached the end.
But I am here today to focus not on the broad history of Earth1 itself, but rather the impact that the American United States, the AUS if you will, had on this overall outcome.
There were a number of important figures from the AUS, there was the very first President George Washington. He was the great general in the war for independence in 1876. There was the great Abraham Lincoln during the civil war in the 1960s. Then, 100 years later, President Kennedy and Vice President Johnson were asassinated by their great rival the Union of Soviets sometimes referred to as the Soviet Union by lower institutions of learning.
(laughter)
But as you may know, this led to the Emergency Elections Act of 2062 which allowed the election of the first black President, Martin King. But there is much dispute about this. Some scholars suggest Richard Nixon was the President and Martin King was the Vice President. But Richard Nixon stepped down in 2074 while President King was killed in 2068 so I really fail to understand were the dispute is. There is always a faction that insists on ignoring the facts.
But I have a multi dimensional hologram I want to show you about the life of the first President George Washington. It has sensory so your biochips should already be dialed down to avoid seizure. Remember, I'm a paratike.
(laughter)
But listen, I know you all are interested in my opinion on the theory of the lost Presidents. Those of you that have studied Earth1 history should be familiar with the arguements. Jimmy Carter, Barrack Obama, the George Bush confusion.
Look, it doesn't add up. Much was lost when Earth1 was evacuated, there was the atomic war, the three galatic wars-however short those all were-, and the massive loss of life unrelated to war. Just immature science.
But it doesn't add up. If George Washington was elected in 1876, by basic math, you can't fit the lost Presidents in. It's just not possible. I haven't seen any concrete evidence of Jimmy Carter. And if Barrack Obama was the first black President of the AUS, you have to come up with a zicanion arguement to explain President King away. his policies, President King's...........there is absolute proof of the laws he was responsible for passing. You can't make this up. His policies can't be dismissed.
For the George Bush arguement, it's clear there was only one. He was one of only two Presidents elected to three terms. If you get into to many of these conspiracy theories, pretty soon you aren't going to know any history at all.
Let me toot my own kye if a moment. There are over one million humans who have doctorates in Earth1 studies. But there are less then 100 of us in the entire universe with Post Master Doctorates in AUS history. You have to spend 2/3 of your life just to get a Post. You have to trust the science. At some point, you just have to decide the direction you want to go with your studies.
If they can me a paratike but I have worked hard for the Post and I've earned it. They don't have to respect me but I've worked very hard my entire life. History certainly has a way of rewriting itself over the course of 2,000 years but you have to decide if your going to accept it or dismiss it and move in that choosen direction.
This is what is taught in respected universities. Higher learning will teach that the lost Presidents theory is a conspiracy theory. If you want to learn about conspiracy theory, the Le'Tres University Ship is the wrong ship for you.
(clapping)
Let's go ahead with the hologram. I was told you have a HAL system here? Hyper Automated Langauge. Lords of the Galaxies, you have to love bioprocessors. Great time to be alive if you enjoy computers. HAL, are you with us?
HAL: Hello Post Master Doctor.
Vindal: Hello HAL. Can you dim the lights please?
HAL: Certainly. I hope you were not injured by the most unfortunate gravity pulse upon your arrival. I'm aware of your medical condition.
Vindal: I'm fine HAL. Thank you. HAL, can you start the hologram?
HAL: I'm most pleased that your okay. Given your medical condition, the situation was most regretable. Have you spoken to my upgrade engineer recently? His opinions on Earth1 differ vastly from yours. How enlightening such a conversation could be.
Vindal: The engineer with a nano degree in conspiracy theory? .....kiddingme..... Dean Commander, can we dial? Down alittle?
Choco: Not with the pulses in the gravity drive. All the bioprocessing goes through the HAL system for evaluation.
Vindal: That's fine. Come on, the hologram.
(hologram begins)
edit on 4/19/2011 by Genfinity because: adding a final line: Any opinions would be great. Thanks!
Lim: Going up?
Vindal: I am. Can you hold it?
Lim: Sure. .......... What deck?
Vindal: 47.
Lim: Oh, you must be a prima guest.
Vindal: (chuckles) You could say that. My name is Glon Vindal. And you are?
Lim: embarrassed......
Vindal: There's no need to be. Your a high student I presume?
Lim: Yes sir, straight 0's. My name is Paul Lim.
Vindal: Pleasure to meet you. Deck 21. Come on, I'll walk you to your quarters.
Lim: Can I introduce you to my quarter mates?
Vindal: I think I have time, sure.
Lim: Wow, they're going to freak. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you. I think I was 8 rows up from the back wall on the upper deck.
Vindal: Lords of the Galaxies! You were in the back! So are you studying the great grandfather planet?
Lim: No sir, bio-robotic engineering. Probably why I was in the back. But when I heard a Post was coming, a Post in anything, no way was I going to miss it.
Vindal: Ah, we Posts are over rated. It's just another level of learning.
(they laugh)
Lim: Your crazy.
Vindal: What do you expect? I'm a paratike.
Lim: That's so wrong when they say that. But let me ask you an honest question.
Vindal: Are most of your questions dishonest?
Lim: (laugh) Stop. Do you think there is any truth to the Lost Presidents theory?
Vindal: (sigh)
Lim: I'm sorry.
Vindal: No it's just....here, let's take a seat. Look, you have to think about were these crazy conspiracy theories are coming from. Okay? Who spreads this waste? The Naturalists. What's the old saying, "Naturalistism is a mental disorder." How can someone live in a society that uses bio computers and bio processors but they are going to reject the benefit a neurological based bio chip. These things are perfected. Everybody has one. The sensory enhancements and memory upgrade alone are worth it. So you have these naturlist idiots that reject it and then they want to "enlighten" us with all their ridiculious conspiracy theories about the lost presidents and what not.
So are we supposed to simply ignore university ship standards taught for 2,000 years because some Naturalist idiot with a limited brain and nothing more zicanion then some pure research theory, says we're missing a few Presidents from history? Lords of the Galaxies, what do these people believe a Post is?! They walk around with their simple little brains and my Post means nothing to them. I'm a paratike.
You know Paul, I am 85 years old. You commit your life to becoming a Post knowing that once you get it, it doesn't stop there. Post education is a never ending process. My head has been buried in holograms for over 80 years so I know a little something about reality. But I'm a paratike. How am I supposed to get through to a paper brain? These Naturlists....
Lim: A what? A paper brain???
Vindal: Just a simple minded fool that lives in the past. A suk that thinks he's a see.
Lim: That's horrible. (laugh) I haven't heard that expression in years.
Vindal: Well, I probably shouldn't say things like that.
Lim: Just because you say that, doesn't make you a xenophobe. Besides, it's just us humans. Real humans.
Vindal: Paul, are you a meat eater? You eat meat?
Lim: Well sure, what ever the food proctor makes and once in a while, I'll go to Eat Meat. They sell the real stuff.
Vindal: I'm talking about meat from a planet. Not that paratike garbage. Something from a planet that lives in the middle of a food chain.
Lim: I've never even been to a planet. I've flown by them but I haven't ever actually flown into one.
Vindal: I'm having a little something tonight called pork chop. Cut out of an animal on a planet in the middle of the food chain. You want to try it?
Lim: Pork chop. I don't know what that is but it sounds fantastic.
Vindal: It's about the finest meat you'll ever put in your mouth. You come to deck 47 for din. I'm in the quad quarter. You won't miss it. I'm going to eat at 4500, you be there by 4475, okay?
Lim: I can't get on deck 47.
Vindal: I'll get you on deck 47. You'll be my prima guest tonight.
Lim:
Vindal: Can you talk to HAL?
Lim: Everybody has access to HAL.
Vindal: HAL will let you know when I get you cleared. I'll go back to my quad quarter, it'll all be done in about 25 tics.
Lim: Do you still have time to meet my quarter mates?
Vindal: Well, sure why not? But I don't want to hear anymore about this Lost Presidents garbage, okay? You show me evidence of a President Jimmy Carter, laws he passed, policies he put in place. Show me something that says "Jimmy Carter was here. Two George Bushes were there. Barrack Obama was the first black President and he was right over there." And then how are you going to explain President Martin King away with all the laws he put in place? The first black President for real. It makes sense right?
Lim: It does. It's like you said, "They are naturlists."
Vindal: That's right. And the are trying to tell us how to think. Paul, you have the upgrades right in your head and so do I. So does every single human on this ship. No Naturlists has to tell Le'Tres how to think. I think we have that covered.
Lim: (smile) So do I.
Vindal: That's why your a high student. That's why tonight, I am making you my personal prima guest. Your going to deck 47 tonight. A quad quarter. I'm the only one in it. Your going to eat pork chop and your going to drink wat.
Lim: What's wat?
Vindal: Water that isn't made in a proctol.
Lim: Water that isn't made in a proctol? That sounds gross.
Vindal: Paul my boy, it's the exact opposite of gross.
Lim: Okay, this is my quarter. Are you ready?
Vindal: Does a nubil like to mate?
Lim: What's a nubil?
Vindal: Your a nubil, open the hatch.
Lim: Is it okay to be a nubil?
Vindal: When you said you'd never been on a planet, you weren't kidding. We need to get you in a planet suit and get you on the ground boy!
Lim: That's okay.
Vindal: That's okay?? THAT'S OKAY?! Lords of the Galaxies! Are you afraid of planets?
Lim: No, I'm not afraid of planets. I just haven't ever been on one.
Vindal: I'm not leaving this university ship until you have orders to walk on a planet.
Lim: It's no big deal.
Vindal: Oh no, your walking on a planet! Yes sir you are. You'll be fine. And you don't have to worry about gravity pulses either. Come on, let's meet your friends. It's funny. I thought you might be soft on Naturalists. Your not soft on them at all, your afraid of them.
Lim: I am not.
Student: Post Vindal?
Another Student: What did you say?
Lim: Come on in.
Student: No way!
Another Student:
Third Student: Somebody get the girls! SOMEBODY GO GET THE GIRLS RIGHT NOW!!!
Fourth Student: Lords of the Galaxies, can I take a senosry hologram? Please?
Vindal: Go get these girls first and then we'll take one with everybody, okay? I'm a little pressed for time, there are only 50 toks in a cycle and I've got a meeting with the Alpha Command Deck very soon.
Student: ..star birth...
Vindal: You alright? (snaps fingers) Did you just call me a star birth?
Fourth Student: Don't turn your back on him. He's a little funny Post Vindal.
Vindal: (sigh) University ships haven't changed one bit. Lords of the Galaxies, I miss it.
Vindal: I am. Can you hold it?
Lim: Sure. .......... What deck?
Vindal: 47.
Lim: Oh, you must be a prima guest.
Vindal: (chuckles) You could say that. My name is Glon Vindal. And you are?
Lim: embarrassed......
Vindal: There's no need to be. Your a high student I presume?
Lim: Yes sir, straight 0's. My name is Paul Lim.
Vindal: Pleasure to meet you. Deck 21. Come on, I'll walk you to your quarters.
Lim: Can I introduce you to my quarter mates?
Vindal: I think I have time, sure.
Lim: Wow, they're going to freak. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you. I think I was 8 rows up from the back wall on the upper deck.
Vindal: Lords of the Galaxies! You were in the back! So are you studying the great grandfather planet?
Lim: No sir, bio-robotic engineering. Probably why I was in the back. But when I heard a Post was coming, a Post in anything, no way was I going to miss it.
Vindal: Ah, we Posts are over rated. It's just another level of learning.
(they laugh)
Lim: Your crazy.
Vindal: What do you expect? I'm a paratike.
Lim: That's so wrong when they say that. But let me ask you an honest question.
Vindal: Are most of your questions dishonest?
Lim: (laugh) Stop. Do you think there is any truth to the Lost Presidents theory?
Vindal: (sigh)
Lim: I'm sorry.
Vindal: No it's just....here, let's take a seat. Look, you have to think about were these crazy conspiracy theories are coming from. Okay? Who spreads this waste? The Naturalists. What's the old saying, "Naturalistism is a mental disorder." How can someone live in a society that uses bio computers and bio processors but they are going to reject the benefit a neurological based bio chip. These things are perfected. Everybody has one. The sensory enhancements and memory upgrade alone are worth it. So you have these naturlist idiots that reject it and then they want to "enlighten" us with all their ridiculious conspiracy theories about the lost presidents and what not.
So are we supposed to simply ignore university ship standards taught for 2,000 years because some Naturalist idiot with a limited brain and nothing more zicanion then some pure research theory, says we're missing a few Presidents from history? Lords of the Galaxies, what do these people believe a Post is?! They walk around with their simple little brains and my Post means nothing to them. I'm a paratike.
You know Paul, I am 85 years old. You commit your life to becoming a Post knowing that once you get it, it doesn't stop there. Post education is a never ending process. My head has been buried in holograms for over 80 years so I know a little something about reality. But I'm a paratike. How am I supposed to get through to a paper brain? These Naturlists....
Lim: A what? A paper brain???
Vindal: Just a simple minded fool that lives in the past. A suk that thinks he's a see.
Lim: That's horrible. (laugh) I haven't heard that expression in years.
Vindal: Well, I probably shouldn't say things like that.
Lim: Just because you say that, doesn't make you a xenophobe. Besides, it's just us humans. Real humans.
Vindal: Paul, are you a meat eater? You eat meat?
Lim: Well sure, what ever the food proctor makes and once in a while, I'll go to Eat Meat. They sell the real stuff.
Vindal: I'm talking about meat from a planet. Not that paratike garbage. Something from a planet that lives in the middle of a food chain.
Lim: I've never even been to a planet. I've flown by them but I haven't ever actually flown into one.
Vindal: I'm having a little something tonight called pork chop. Cut out of an animal on a planet in the middle of the food chain. You want to try it?
Lim: Pork chop. I don't know what that is but it sounds fantastic.
Vindal: It's about the finest meat you'll ever put in your mouth. You come to deck 47 for din. I'm in the quad quarter. You won't miss it. I'm going to eat at 4500, you be there by 4475, okay?
Lim: I can't get on deck 47.
Vindal: I'll get you on deck 47. You'll be my prima guest tonight.
Lim:
Vindal: Can you talk to HAL?
Lim: Everybody has access to HAL.
Vindal: HAL will let you know when I get you cleared. I'll go back to my quad quarter, it'll all be done in about 25 tics.
Lim: Do you still have time to meet my quarter mates?
Vindal: Well, sure why not? But I don't want to hear anymore about this Lost Presidents garbage, okay? You show me evidence of a President Jimmy Carter, laws he passed, policies he put in place. Show me something that says "Jimmy Carter was here. Two George Bushes were there. Barrack Obama was the first black President and he was right over there." And then how are you going to explain President Martin King away with all the laws he put in place? The first black President for real. It makes sense right?
Lim: It does. It's like you said, "They are naturlists."
Vindal: That's right. And the are trying to tell us how to think. Paul, you have the upgrades right in your head and so do I. So does every single human on this ship. No Naturlists has to tell Le'Tres how to think. I think we have that covered.
Lim: (smile) So do I.
Vindal: That's why your a high student. That's why tonight, I am making you my personal prima guest. Your going to deck 47 tonight. A quad quarter. I'm the only one in it. Your going to eat pork chop and your going to drink wat.
Lim: What's wat?
Vindal: Water that isn't made in a proctol.
Lim: Water that isn't made in a proctol? That sounds gross.
Vindal: Paul my boy, it's the exact opposite of gross.
Lim: Okay, this is my quarter. Are you ready?
Vindal: Does a nubil like to mate?
Lim: What's a nubil?
Vindal: Your a nubil, open the hatch.
Lim: Is it okay to be a nubil?
Vindal: When you said you'd never been on a planet, you weren't kidding. We need to get you in a planet suit and get you on the ground boy!
Lim: That's okay.
Vindal: That's okay?? THAT'S OKAY?! Lords of the Galaxies! Are you afraid of planets?
Lim: No, I'm not afraid of planets. I just haven't ever been on one.
Vindal: I'm not leaving this university ship until you have orders to walk on a planet.
Lim: It's no big deal.
Vindal: Oh no, your walking on a planet! Yes sir you are. You'll be fine. And you don't have to worry about gravity pulses either. Come on, let's meet your friends. It's funny. I thought you might be soft on Naturalists. Your not soft on them at all, your afraid of them.
Lim: I am not.
Student: Post Vindal?
Another Student: What did you say?
Lim: Come on in.
Student: No way!
Another Student:
Third Student: Somebody get the girls! SOMEBODY GO GET THE GIRLS RIGHT NOW!!!
Fourth Student: Lords of the Galaxies, can I take a senosry hologram? Please?
Vindal: Go get these girls first and then we'll take one with everybody, okay? I'm a little pressed for time, there are only 50 toks in a cycle and I've got a meeting with the Alpha Command Deck very soon.
Student: ..star birth...
Vindal: You alright? (snaps fingers) Did you just call me a star birth?
Fourth Student: Don't turn your back on him. He's a little funny Post Vindal.
Vindal: (sigh) University ships haven't changed one bit. Lords of the Galaxies, I miss it.
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