Suicidal Tendencies.

Originally posted by lpowell0627
There is a very fine line between helping and enabling, even for those with the best of intentions.

Sometimes the best way to help someone is to simply remove yourself and wait until he/she hits rock bottom and be there for him/her when they do...and IF he/she wants your help at that point.

If you really feel this person is serious and in imminent danger of killing himself/herself, contact this persons' parents, relatives, etc., or if that's not possible, contact a hospital, suicide hotline, and/or police.

Once that is done, don't look back and be confident that you did everything you could do.

Yes, it all reads a lot easier than it actually is, however, sometimes the best thing you can do, given what you've already done, is to now save yourself.

The Op didn't say he was on drugs, he is depressed! Waiting for him to hit rock bottom might be to late.

reply to post by Praetorius

Be well, sister. Just remember and do better next time.

I will never forget..I shared my story of loss..and guilt so 12voltz would know the aftermath of loosing a friend to suicide..thanks so much for the book suggestion, I will be sure to pick one up and read it, also thanks for your compassion and kindness..cheers coco

reply to post by 12voltz


I'd say don't risk giving your friend the cold shoulder. Maybe explain to him how you feel instead? Make him realise that only through sharing and mutual understanding will he manage to get through this, keep reassuring your friend, maybe organise some activities with him?. I was recently severely depresed and the only way I got through it was by talking to people, if someone said to me they'd had enough of listening to me moan or grovel about how bad i felt then I'm sure I would have felt a whole lot worse.

reply to post by 12voltz

Basically i have had enough of his refusal to help himself,so i am pretty much over it,but the only way to know if he is serious is for him to dangle from a rope.

There are many people in this world that really don't know how to help themselves. They need someone that can point them in the right direction.Don't get me wrong it is an uphill battle, because they need someone that is going to help them move forward and did you really need to add that last part.? You need to do what feels right to you. Good Luck...

Originally posted by kittendaydreamer
reply to post by 12voltz

 

That's awesome that you offered a way out of the bad situation for your friend

...as far as being cold to them or give hope how about a little of both. Something to the effect of yes ___________ sucks but if you _________ eventually things will get better (list how) and that's what you want right? Or do you want to stay in this funk you're in? So suck it up and lets get things going well for you again.
Of course that's just my opinion.

I dunno, seems like good advice and some would actually say that but as someone who suffers depression, I can say that if anyone said that to me, I'd honestly say something like " F you then, I don't need you" before sinking even further into despair at someone close being so heartless and uncaring.

It's tough to deal with on both sides but honestly, havng been there and still being there, I'd say that your friend probably doesn't want your help because that makes him feel even more worthless and in denial that he can't deal with it himself but at the same time is angling for you to take an initiative and just be there.

Trust me, I was given medication and attended two counselling sessions (I've given up on both, they didn't do anything for me against medical advice) but just talking to someone I really like and get on with very well has made me feel a lot better recently.

Hope it helps, give your friend my best and that there are others just like him. He can get through it, just takes time.

That's a very hard situation to go through. I've been there with friends and family. Maybe you can try, as you say he has an addiction, to get his family's influence on getting him the help he needs. As a last resort...such as, well in Florida with the Baker Act(See Wiki), if where you live can allow this-not all places have it- have the law step in. Especially if the situation is life and death for him, which it seems.
I know it's a hard way to face things, you've done all you can and for sure need a break from him before you end close to how he is feeling.

reply to post by dreamingawake


,Its hard to know if he is serious and i will only find out if he does it.It has been playing on my mind for a while because as i said i (and im sure many others ) have lost friends this way before.You know i told my wife i was depressed once and she said ,snap out of it and help me do some housework,sort of worked If i called authorities it could turn out bad for him and make things worse,,I told him he was selfish because he has a child and a very worried mother.In the end its up to him because the only way i could prevent it is to physically take him out into the desert and a change of scenery.bad situation but i can switch off and be heartless if need be. Thanks

Originally posted by 12voltz
I have had enough of the self indulgent ,selfish ,suicidal ramblings of a good friend,I started offering help and a way out of his predicament.A new start if you will ,a chance to pick up the pieces and turn his life around,but No ,always an excuse not to break out of the routine,to scared to leave the box ,rather just wallow in his own self pity.
Now i have become cold to his struggle ,i'm over it.I feel used for showing compassion and dont care anymore to the point where i just think i might tell him to stop talking about it and just get on with it.He is obviously depressed ,and i know how depression can be like a virus that spreads through your body and just eats away at any self worth.But what can you say to these people?.Should i be cold and heartless or just swallow my pride and keep crawling ,telling him how things will be better,Things always get better.

I know exactly what you are saying! I have the same thing!

This person needs someone in his life (a girlfriend of vice versa). Are they mentally ill (not just depressed).

There is nothing you can do. It will burn you out. Let them deal with it.

There is a BIG difference between being suicidal and wanting attention.

from what I have read, he his just thriving on your attention.

no offense to the OP