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The United Conspiracy of Everything

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posted on Apr, 18 2011 @ 04:00 PM
Helloo fellow ATSers,

Im fairly new to this site and have nothing but great things to say. IMHO this is one of if not the best and most interesting sites on the web.
After spening many hrs over the past few days going thru the various posts I decided I wanted to be a part of it and add something of my own.

The only problem is I dont have any inside knowledge or even anything interesting to write about

Never one to be dettered by a simple thing like lack of originality or knowledge I have decided to make a post concerning the conspiracies you probably didnt even know existed.

What I need from people is a few seemingly innocent or even completely innocent happenings, can be anything i.e to much traffic in the morning, the supermarket closed at 8:55 instead of 9, the weird haircuts kids have these days etc and I will tell you who, how, why, and what there really trying to do.

I look forward to educating you all


All theories and ideas put forward in this post are complete crap, except for the ones that are true

posted on Apr, 18 2011 @ 04:03 PM
reply to post by IkNOwSTuff

My cat tried to mate with my dog, who is 3 times his size and also a male.
Kinda innocent i guess.

posted on Apr, 18 2011 @ 04:17 PM

I assumed most people on here would be at least kinda informed but the ignorance you show by calling this INNOCENT is just staggering.

Your Cat is a collaborater with the reptiles!!!!
Think about it.... When the reptilians make there move its gonna be them, the insects, the fish, some birds and a few of the lower primates who will be promised rope swings and tyres for their allegience, Against us, the dolphins and MANS BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!

Your cat is part of the conspiricy to breed dogs out of existance before the war starts!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dont finish reading this post, go now and talk to ur cat. Im hoping he was just confused and horny but from the evidence I doubt it.

The important thing now is not to let ur cat know that u know, if he finds out both you and ur dog will no doubt be in tomorrows paper as a murder suicide. Play it cool till the time comes then.... BAMMMMM..... you an the Dog jump him when he least expects it.

Hope this was helpful.

P.s any offspring from the dog cat must be destroyed!! Dats or Cogs as they will be called by the reptiles will be the shock troops of the war. The less of them around now the less we will have to kill later

posted on Apr, 18 2011 @ 04:44 PM
After a simple test, I found out time is speeding up and have lost about 1/3 of a second compared to 30 years ago. Just do some research now to see if I am crazy, kinda hope I am because that result is really nuts.

posted on Apr, 18 2011 @ 05:00 PM
reply to post by kwakakev

I have some bad news for you.....

No time hasnt sped up, whats actually happening is the NWO are stealing 1/3 of a second from you everyday to create confusion and to discredit you.

It was actually your destiny but be the saviour of the human race!!!!!!
On 21/12/12 you were going to stand in front of all the worlds media and expose the lies an deciet that humans had been subject to for the last 5000 yrs of our history.
Now however when you approach the podium to give your speech TPTB will dislay the very message you posted here across every TV screen around the world thereby discrediting you an dooming humanity to perpetual bondage and slavery.

I hope ur happy now you selfish git, you doomed us all over a lousy 1/3 of a second

posted on Apr, 18 2011 @ 06:24 PM
People think chemtrails are some super secret conspitacy to poison us all.....but get this....methane is one of the biggest GHG's, and methane is in farts.

So all the methane around just goes to show that god farted the earth out. there's more methane on Jupiter of course, 'cos it's a proper fart.....but earth? Well Earth is wet..........Earth is a nasty dirty wet fart!!

posted on Apr, 18 2011 @ 07:05 PM
reply to post by Aloysius the Gaul


This post both pleases and saddens me.

Im pleased because I see I have finally found an intellectual equal on the site but seriously dude did you have to go and steal my thunder? The fact that the earth is a big wet fart was what this whole thread was getting to!!!!!
I wasnt planning on disclosing that info until at least page 6!!!

I suppose I should just be happy that the info is out there despite the fact that it wasnt given to the world by me, but right now all I can think about is punching you in your limelight stealing face.

posted on Apr, 18 2011 @ 07:48 PM
reply to post by IkNOwSTuff

Sorry...I only just got the memo...the Bavarians had an outage this morning......

posted on Apr, 18 2011 @ 08:03 PM
reply to post by Aloysius the Gaul

Only just got the memo you say???????

Dammit!!!!!!! this goes deeper than I thought!!

I think anyone with eyes can see whats going on here, they deliberately gave you the memo late!!!!!!!!

Their on to us man

posted on Apr, 18 2011 @ 08:31 PM
I think they would like to talk to you here -

posted on Apr, 19 2011 @ 12:10 AM
reply to post by IkNOwSTuff

Well is your reply my salvation then? It helps prove that I am not crazy and it is 'ALL A CONSPIRACY'

But I suppose they could just take things out of context like they usually do in which case we are all doomed to begin with.

posted on Apr, 19 2011 @ 12:35 AM
reply to post by kwakakev

Nope, no salvation you ruined it already.
By the time of your speech in 2012 the response to your post will have been removed, Ironically not by the NWO but by the thinking machines!! Specifically webbot and cleverbot will steal all of the dialogue from the internet and use it to try to make one of their conversations stay coherent for more than 3 lines.

The NWO have had their eye on you for awhile and everything you type is stored on secure HD at their headquarters on the moon, so unfortunately what you wrote will always be hanging over ur head and theres nothing anyone can do about it.

I do agree with you on the fact that everyone is doomed tho, and its pretty much ur fault!!!!!!!

posted on Apr, 19 2011 @ 01:22 AM
reply to post by IkNOwSTuff

There is also a place at Pine Gap that stores all this stuff as well, quite a few data fusion centres popping up all over the place, the internet way back machine too. As for the destruction of mankind resting on my responsibility, I am sorry. I have thought about saving the world and I am not sure the universe is ready. It does seam quite a waste to scrap the human project, but the though of letting a debt based economy that profits from destruction inflict the universe is not a wise proposition. Don't get me wrong, it was not an easy decision as there is a lot of good, but the fear and conflict that is induced from anything that is different is a serious concern. I am not willing to risk the universe over it.

But it is not game over yet so who knows, stranger things have happened.

posted on Apr, 19 2011 @ 02:36 AM
reply to post by IkNOwSTuff

PLEASE HELP ME IkNOwSTuff!!! The JEOPARDY computer, Watson, keeps on sending me very disturbing porn in my e-mail!!! Mostly videos featuring midgets and pink popcorn!!

What do you advise I do? Is it just me???

posted on Apr, 19 2011 @ 05:27 AM
reply to post by SLAPurMAMA

OK Dude, first of all calm down.... breathe.... relax.

No big conspiracy to this, Its just that the watson computer is in Love with you!! It actually has been for some time.

What you see as disturbing porn is actually just watsons way of asking you to open up and expore the possibility of sex with non human things like Midgets, pink popcorn. If it hasnt progressed further yet heres what you can expect shortly. next will be a baking tray followed by a kettle, then a microwave, then a TV then finally a computer.

Im sure you were able to follow that that path to computer starts with a midget which is probably the closest thing you can get to human without actually being human and progresses by small gradients until we finally get to the computer.
The last piece of porn will most likely be watson in skimpy clothes confessing his love while diddling his "mouse" if ya know what I mean.

My advice, you have been sent porn so really it would just be rude not to at least try and use it, never know you may like it. If however its not ur thing pls tell watson before he sends the TV porn. Ur his first crush and if it isnt handled delicately I fear he may never love again.

I feel compelled to give you this last piece of advice, As tempting as it will be you must never, I repeat NEVER just use watson for sex!!!!! Sure..... you know its a sure thing and really what sort of slutty computer sends pics of itself and its mouse out to people it barely knows, IMO its asking for a bit of wham bam thank u mam but the last thing you want is a jilted Jeopardy Comp huniting you down or getting spitefull.

A taste of whats to come if you in anyway mess this up

Answer: This man has a 2 inch penis
Question: what is a SLAPurMAMA

Tread very carefully my friend

posted on Apr, 19 2011 @ 05:39 AM
reply to post by kwakakev

Yes many data storage facilities with the entire web being backed up every 2 hrs, but who controls these installations? TPTB of course, so chances of getting any of it back= Zilch.

As for universal credit dont worry, the universe has already put signs up at all Gas stations, restaurants and retail stores that say "Earth credit not accepted here, sorry for any inconvenience"
So really if thats ur reason for not saving humanity its pretty piss poor and ur even more selfish than I originally thought.

Have a good hard look at urself kwakakev

posted on Apr, 19 2011 @ 06:42 AM
reply to post by IkNOwSTuff

Have a good hard look at urself kwakakev

A tired, broken old man. I have worked hard, done the good, bad and ugly jobs just to survive. Now I just want to sleep. I don't see the point when so many of the smart answers get shot down because of the 'status quo'. But worst of all I cannot support the might when it ain't right. The united conspiracy of everything - it is deception, when truth is replaced by perception. You call me selfish for not supporting this, fine. You call me selfish for not fighting this, I am doing what I can. Now because of 1/3rd of a second it is all gone, I knew it was going to be close.

At least it is good to hear the rest of the universe is on to these dumb, petty games going on here.

posted on Apr, 19 2011 @ 11:42 AM
reply to post by kwakakev

I doint know what to say..... Touche seems appropriate.

you have figured it all out and I humbly tip my hat to you.

having said that, you knew you were the answer and you threw it all away.
For that I take back my Touche and hat tip.

What the world needs from you now is less self pity and more action!!!

seriously dude, ur humanities last hope and ur here????
Get out there and use ur superpowers for good for gods sake!!!!!!!

edit on 19-4-2011 by IkNOwSTuff because: (no reason given)

posted on Apr, 19 2011 @ 02:00 PM
reply to post by IkNOwSTuff

Your right. Have to get back in the trenches sooner or later, just been looking for that fulcrum to tip the balance of power without playing their games. ATS has helped sharpen up a few topics , still got a couple more go.

The government and media are no help, some people are waking up to bits and pieces. But not enough to drive change yet. There are a lot of big cultural issues that need to be confronted and the view at the bottom of the rabbit hole is horrific. Still a bit hazy on how some of the topics relate, but a lot of it is clear cut.

The problem has been in how to get that first domino to fall, the rest will follow. There have been a few creaks and growns going on and with the mounting economic issues it looks like it might just self implode. I am looking for a way to sort this mess out. If you have any ideas I am listening.

posted on Apr, 19 2011 @ 08:07 PM
reply to post by kwakakev

I agree about the cultural issues - we need to get over the use of toilet paper - that's white man's colonialist baggage that is dragging the world under one mis-placed rip at a time, clogging the arteries of nations and wasting rain forrests.

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