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**To All ATSers**,Why cant we make All Members feel Welcome?

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posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 07:19 PM
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Ok,I know what some are gonna think by reading the title. I have a feeling that some will take this thread the wron way and might think that Im complaining,but Im not...I am just asking the question, "why cant we here at ATS make all members, new or old, feel welcome instead of feeling like an outsider or that their opinions dont matter?"

I myself am a newer member and I have gotten this first hand. I know I have only been here for just over a month and a 1/2 but Im starting to feel more and mor comfortable with posting, threads and stuff like that. When I first joined I shied away a little but I soon decided to jump in,go for it and get my opinions and points out amongst the others. Thats one of the reasons why I finally joined,so I could learn new things about most of the material on this site and put my 2 cents in along the way...I have personnaly seen posts by members saying that they dont even read posts by members that havent been a member for at least 6 months..Why is this? I believe that whether youre new or old that an opinion is an opinion and good points no matter who theyre from should still be heard...Im new but sometimes I'll find newer members post just as good if not better than members that have been here for awhile...I dont see the point of discriminating and making people feel unwanted or that their point of views or opinions arent as important as others..The only difference I see between newbies and vets are their stars and flags..Newbies need to be giving a chance to get their credability built up so they one day can join the higher ranks one day and not just brush em off because they are new. Everone here was once a newbie and know what I am saying..I thought we all joined this site for our voices to be heard?

I have also noticed favoritism towards other posters. I dont understand why members choose to star and flag a thread a gazillion times depending on who the OP is and their stats. I know people will say this isnt true and the dont pay attention to the who the OP is or look at stats. They'll say it depends on what the subject of the thread is. I have been shot done before on the theory before. But I have seen it happen even if the info provided in the thread was not any better or different then another thread that will end disappearing into the long list without even being noticed sometimes. I believe in giving everyone a shot and not picking and choosing depending how long the OP has been a member...

What got me to write this was a U2U message I recieved from a fellow member that has actually been here for over a year and still feels like shes being ignored..It made me feel horrible and I didnt even mean to ignore her. I mean I starred her posts and everything I just didnt get a chance to respond to everyone and now I feel horrible because she actually made good points and shared her opinions and expeiances with me and she deserverd a response...heres the U2U she sent...
____________________________________________________________________________________________

"Is there a specific reason why you chose to ignore my comment to you on your thread. In fact is there a specific reason you are completely ignoring me in your thread? Did I say something to offend you? Is it something that I did to somebody else you know?

I'm asking you this, as this is not the first time I've been given the cold shoulder like this it happens all the time. And I wish somebody would for crying out loud just tell me what I did wrong? It has seriously made me feel like I am unworthy of posting in threads, hence more and more I have chosen to just not post at all. Maybe you will explain to me then, since you did it too, what's with the ignoring of people, who speak to you directly?

I actually believe you, and tried to post a comment that would be helpful, which is what you asked for, I was not one of the ones trying to diss you, I even stand up for you and what you believe happened to you. Yet I see you replying to even those that did try to offend you, and diss you, and not me, therefor, yes, I'm taking it personally. I after months of this treatment from ATS I am asking you, why? What did I do wrong? What was my huge unforgivable sin that I get this treatment from 99% of ATS? Is it just my profile? I make a comment and ATS'ers visit the person's profile first to get an impression and decide then if they will answer them or not? If so, what on my profile don't you like?

I used to think, you know , it's probably just a common ATS thing or maybe because I'm new, but after seeing you reply to even people that diss you, and not me, I'm realizing, that no, it's not a common thing, this is actually against me personally, and I don't know why or what it is that I did wrong.

Actually, you know, what, I'm probably not going to get an answer from you anyway, why on earth would you acknowledge me here, if you don't answer me in public. Don't worry about it, I'm just going to leave ATS. I've had enough of the "some are better and more worthy than others" attitude. I'm just sending it anyway, so that you know, that I am aware of the ignoring. Whatever man. "
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

See I know from now on I am going to make sure that if someone even only shares some advice Im going to at least make an effort to get a reply to them,whether its on the thread or U2U...Afetr reading that I instantly messaged back an apologized for being a turd...

So the questions are.......

How many others feel like their points and opinions get ignored?

Who else sees discrimination on here and why is it okay?

why not make everyone feel like they are a part of something special when they join ATS?


We are all here for the same reasons,ANSWERS and to learn,so why cant we all be treated equally and fairly and NOT SEGREGATE ourselves? I believe ATS to be a community,at last when I joined, I figured that the way people treat others in the real world would at least stay there and that everyone that decided to join ATS would be different then the other people that have ruined the real world for all of us...




edit on 16-4-2011 by gdaub23 because: (no reason given)




posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 07:32 PM
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That's just the way the cookie crumbles nowadays...nobody cares...and trampeling on people with less social status is just part of the fun apparently, even on a damn website...



posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 07:38 PM
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reply to post by gdaub23
 


To be quite honest, I ignore many "points" that are dumb. Many of us have been on boards for quite some time and do not wish to continuously state our facts over and over and over again when people (especially teenagers) make statements and opinions on subjects that are half baked (Communist Cuba is great), irrelevant statements (I think), circular arguments (there is no God), etc.



posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 07:40 PM
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I appreciate your expressions here, and am familiar with the member you mention, who I believe after stating her concerns, received numerous positive posts. The vets getting s&f's, well it is partially because of popularity I reckon, but more so imo, most of them write quality posts. I do notice when new members sign on, there are always supportive and welcoming members graciously acknowledging them.

These boards are so busy these days that lack of responses sometimes comes down to amount of exposure the thread got. It is also good to not expect specific responses sometimes. Quite often I am on so many boards that some responses fall through the cracks. Other times, well, life itself gets in the way of fully adequate responses.

It would be nice if everyone responded to the comments directed at them, but that seems impractical. However, we should not take it personally, rather we should be grateful for what responses we do get and focus more on the overall benefit of ATS, which is being provided with a plethora of interesting subjects and information. Maybe it is a newbie thing, because I have experienced the same thing, "why didn't they respond?" But ultimately, there will always be something and someone to correspond to, maybe just not as much as we would hope for.
STill, though, my experience here has been way more pos than neg, and sometimes it could be just a matter of perspective.
ETA: Is there room for improvement? Sure, and you bringing attention to this may lend to that notion.

Peace,
spec
edit on 16-4-2011 by speculativeoptimist because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 07:42 PM
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reply to post by infolurker
 


so instead of having to repeate yourself,you would rather not and keep the info from people that you know and that they are seeking? how is that going to help deny ignorance? if those who are ignorant of certain things arent informed...



posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 07:46 PM
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I would imagine the older members have seen it all before.
Ive not been a member long, i had another account a few years ago and forgot my login so joined back up last year.

Ive seen threads about all sorts....some things are just too unbelievable to be true, and there are several trolls who keep signing up in different names only to get banned after a month or two because everyone realizes its the same dudes over and over.

Not everyone who joins up are serious....some people make things up (loners, trolls etc), some people have mental health problems (depression, paranoia, delusional etc), and some are just plain weird. I think people do take time to determine if you fall into any of the above categories, i want to know if the person im replying to is serious about what they are saying, and proof is always good, but sometimes lacking, or just completely ridiculous.

This site has a lot of good posters, but there are a few people that i suspect are trolls, and a bit mental. I try and avoid threads that these people post in as its a pointless waste of time talking to them.

Dont take anything to heart, its the internet people say things because they can


I personally reply to most people if i see i have a message, if i open a message then forget to reply....thats just cos im getting old haha



posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 07:50 PM
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Why is there so much drama in this forum? It's like a TV show.

Post your ideas, regardless of how ridiculous they may be. The people that matter are the people that payed attention to them.
edit on 16-4-2011 by Somehumanbeing because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 07:50 PM
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There are always going to be a few people that will fell that way, and I feel for that member. I to get U2U's and I answer them all, and I try to be polite as much as I can. You have to have tough skin to be here I must say. I no longer take things personally.

I start threads, no one cares, so I move on. I cannot take it personal, its just that some are looking for more sensational threads, or even sensational and disruptive threads, so they have something to bicker about. I try to be positive. I also find that when this happens we can sometimes make friends through U2U's.

When this dies down... if it dies down, we all have to be fair, and practical. These seems like things that make sense to many of us, but for a few this is not.

Peace, NRE.



posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 07:52 PM
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Social groups will invariably dissolve into cliques. It's always been that way and always will.



I find it a tad disturbing that some adults can't get past the things they learned in high school. I was always, well, I wasn't one of the "cool kids" let me put it that way. But I think you are right OP; ATS is THE most intelligent community I have every been a part of, and I think that each member is a valuable source of information. No one should ever be made to feel marginalized.

Peace.



posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 07:55 PM
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(Straps on helmet)

S&F OP. I think that as much as I would like to see this it's never going to happen. In one way or another we are all outcast because of our beliefs which is the reason that many of us looked for a place of like minded individuals and found ATS.

The problem is IMO is that too many here have been ridiculed, made fun of etc for the beliefs in the past in real life and now since they are on the net hiding behind a comp screen they feel the right to be as ignorant as possible because they can conduct themselves in such a manner with no real consequences.

Now I m all for speaking your beliefs. However I am also for listening to everything and not ruling anything out. It just seems that way to many folk here are either...

1. Incapable of listening to anything that goes against their belief and for this reason are (2.) to conceited or elitist to try and teach, help educate the new comers and would rather just, bash, ignore or complain about them.

Now I know that some are going to come in and flack me for this but, I could prove a hundred examples of this. Go look at the 9/11 forums....................... they are the main reason I joined ATS and yet I have posted in there maybe 10 times and I have about 400 posts under my belt.


My suggestion to everyone would be this.

If you disagree, state why. argue your point present your facts and then leave it. No need for bashing, name calling cries of dis-info agent or shill etc. If someone disagrees still then just let it go. Its that simple. Let it go.

Even more so if you do not like something From the Headline or the OP then leave it go entirely. You don't have to post and you can get your stars and flags in other Threads by stating something meaningful rather than by being an a** to someone else . There are a lot of subjects that I have no interest in or dilslike on here so guess what I don't post or even read them(cryptozoology, the bully pulpit are just two examples).

Don't come in to BTS and complain that its a stain on this site which was made to discuss serious topics in guess what ATS. ATS ...BTS... .BTS .... ATS two different sections. Same site but totally different.

While we are on the topic of BTS I personally think If the site owners thought that BTS was so bad it wouldn't be here. My guess is that they made it to help alleviate some doom and gloom and make folks laugh and be able to discuss other things rather than OMG were going to die , The Govt. is f'ng you in every way possible etc.

In the end though you can't tell most people that they are wrong about anything, especially on this site. I would like to see a little more unity but god forbid thousands of others here don't get to feel better about themselves for name calling and bashing anyone who doesn't stroke their egos and praise them for being the smartest person in the room.

That is all

Trowa


edit on 16/4/11 by TrowaBarton because: Spelling and punctuation


P.S If you stop feeding the animals they will go away. If we all ignored the threads that we did not like or thought were garbage and did not goad the poster(s) we disliked or argued (fed) with them they would go seek the attention they so sadly need elsewhere, I truly believe this board would clean itself up with post haste if we all could follow this suggestion.

edit on 16/4/11 by TrowaBarton because: Spelling , Punctuation, Post Script and to add content



posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 08:03 PM
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I appreciate the few that have posted so far and added their opinions and maybe something i forgot...i dont care about the stars and flags,i just want the people that need it to see this thread and maybe change their minds about the way they act here....



posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 08:21 PM
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Yeah, I admit that I'm guilty of it. I'm moody just like everyone else. It's the nature of the beast. I sometimes react negatively from what I consider to be a negative attitude. I'm working on it. I could just suddenly change my attitude on here, but I'd be forfeiting a bit of honesty by doing that. So I'll just follow my natural progression of being more patient of peoples posts.



posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 08:24 PM
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Originally posted by gdaub23
I appreciate the few that have posted so far and added their opinions and maybe something i forgot...i dont care about the stars and flags,i just want the people that need it to see this thread and maybe change their minds about the way they act here....


Well if we S & F your OP it it helps to keep it at the top of the page and more members will (hopefully) read and comment.
edit on 16/4/11 by TrowaBarton because: n/m



posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 08:27 PM
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I just want to throw my hat in the ring and say that I think that most of the time you spend as a newcomer to the site is on figuring out how to use the site & be a good member. When you finally do figure that out one of 2 things happen, you either hardly ever post anything because you never have the time to put into something that "meets the standard", or you do have the time & dedicate your daily life to posting quality stuff & being a friend around the site.

just my 2 cent but that's how I've experienced it & I can think of people who fit both categories


Peace,
-Bob
edit on 16/4/11 by B.Morrison because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 08:43 PM
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reply to post by gdaub23
 


I believe I understand the phenomenon of which you speak. If I do not, pardon the presumption.

I would like to take the liberty of sharing my thoughts on this, and hope that it might help others who have encountered this as well. There's no real guarantee of that though, as mentioned above, it really depends on many factors that have absolutely nothing to do with your thread.

ATS hovered, for a period, in a circumstance that was purely temporary; that circumstance made for a unique nexus when several things seemed to have happened. You and I may be two very different people. In many ways we may disagree and even find each others viewpoints repugnant (not saying this is so, just that it is possible.) We are, however, voluntary presences on the forums, willing to share our thoughts where we feel it is appropriate. Most of us understand that there is an amount of social risk opening up like that. Some still find being overlooked, or not included, is a reflection of a social 'decision' on the part of others in the dialog.

The nexus I referred to was the coming together of people - some innocent consumers of interest.. looking casually for interesting things to read about or discuss; some were more inclined to seize the opportunity to speak to the 'news', by which I mean, to end the one-way dialog of talking heads and grace their news with our feedback - whether they (or others) like it or not. Some who arrived here were students - diligent researchers in their field of interest; hoping to either get the opportunity to stand on the shoulders of giants, or maybe discover something on their own. Lastly, you might even have those who were sent here - why, or how would be irrelevant, they are not relevant to the community.

What happened at the nexus was important. Most people started to respect the idea that moderated dialog has more potential for value here than anywhere else. I happen to agree.

Because of the seniority or experience some members have, they may appear to be more beloved. But it is hardly as it appears; it's familiarity, which does not occur without time.

There are those who identify with each other here, and it is natural that they might share group identity between themselves. But that is not an ATS thing, it's a primate thing. That's an "anywhere" thing.

The key question "Why cant we make All Members feel Welcome?" has to be, in my estimation, assessed from the perspective I have laid out above.

There is a big difference between being welcomed and being accepted. Both acts are of inclusion, which no amount of community ATS intervention can force to happen. I have to grant that some members clearly have the mindset to enjoy what they think is 'being right' and for those it is often a lonely road. When they find like minds they will cling to each other, vicariously enjoying each others 'wins'. It works for them, I suppose.

As for us humans, we frequently show weaknesses that include dragging 'power' and 'prestige' into interactions where it is unproductive and - in a virtual environment - ironically moronic.

Having said all this, if I ever fail to respond to a direct question, or comment when one was requested, it is not because I don't care, or I don't regard you highly... it means precisely this: I failed to respond to a direct question, or comment when one was requested. Attributing some kind of personal reason to it is not reasonable because I may have wanted to, I may have intended to, I may have been unable to....... choosing to assume its because I didn't want to is a rather damning choice of supposed reasons.

I know that among the younger, more social-networking active members, it becomes difficult to separate the ATS community, from a tweeting circle or 'friends' group; but not everyone is so inclined, until such a time as everyone thinks that stars and flags have 'value' it will never be that way. These things mean different things to different people, and as you can attest, to some it means nothing at all.

Sorry about the painfully long response. I felt like it mattered.

"Why cant we make All Members feel Welcome?"

Short answer: Be yourself. Be patient with strangers. Demonstrate the respect you desire. Understand that a forum is for speech, not offense. Lastly, do not seek offenses that are not actually offered.

Thanks for listening.

MM



posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 08:57 PM
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reply to post by Maxmars
 


thank you for adding ypur thoughts and opinions into this thread...i appreciate it much...i hope that others realize what i am saying is not me complaing like some but just asking why...why cant we distance ourselves from the cruel world at least on here and make it a place that everyone feels welcome and where everyone feels that some of what they say is appreciated...



posted on Apr, 16 2011 @ 10:27 PM
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I've had a few new members make their first posts in my threads and I always take it as a great compliment. It can be daunting posting here so I'm happy that someone sees my thread as an opportunity to dip their toes in the water.

My threads are usually quite light hearted and I make a point of welcoming the newcomer.

What I find difficult is when only a few members post and there is just one post out of the few that doesn't require a reply. If I can't find something to say I feel as if I have blatantly ignored someone, but when the thread has obviously run its course it's ok to thank everyone for taking the trouble to post.

It's sad that new people feel that they are not making any impact but I remember when I first joined that I found it very hard to remember individual members. The ones who 'registered' first probably were older members who might have posted more regularly or who had memorable avatars. Also, a new person might look through and post in several forums before finding the few where they will feel most at home, so it will take time before others remember them.

I don't think it is necessarily right that threads or posts get starred according to the popularity of the member, but people like to encourage and support their friends. They can hardly be blamed for it. After all, if you encourage someone whose contributions you enjoy they are more likely to continue what they're doing.

It just may take a little longer for people to appreciate the contributions made by newer members, although a good post should always be starred, I think, regardless of who made it.

My best advice is to give things a chance to develop at their own pace, don't give up. Keep going and you'll start to find some friends. I've been astonished at the number of people who 'friended' me, it doesn't happen in real life
It's just my misfortune that about a third of them managed to get themselves banned. See what unsavoury company a person can fall into when they come to a site like this



edit on 16-4-2011 by berenike because: rounding up stray smilies



posted on Apr, 17 2011 @ 12:22 AM
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We're talking about making posters feel welcome and something was overlooked... did I even read that op correctly?
I cant believe you got a wall of text u2u chastising you for not starring a poster... THAT is bizarre. IMO people need to get over this childish star obsession. This is a message board.. why are people writing u2u's like the OP received when they dont get pat on the head or validation of their existence stars?

Im a member here from a while back, moved and made this account. People come and go.. some are foolish enough to judge by a sign up date and play this weird condescending "noob" game. Ego Ego Ego. Know people for their words and how they post.. not by length of membership or amount of truly meaningless and valueless stars.

Personally, I wouldnt deal with a person who was so unnaturally obsessed with a message board that they would write u2us or post complaints over not getting their "validation of existence stars". How bizarre...



posted on Apr, 17 2011 @ 05:41 AM
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reply to post by Advantage
 


never once in my post did i say anthing about geting upset for not recievinh stars..thats not the point i was trying to make, the point is that proplr that have good points and talk directly to the op being ingnored when it seems like they are responding to everyone else..it has nothing to do woth stars its more like common courtesy...and excuse me if i am not makinh much since right now...i have been up for awhile..it seems like my problem that i have and posyed in a earlied thread of mine has gotten bigger
edit on 17-4-2011 by gdaub23 because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 17 2011 @ 12:34 PM
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Originally posted by gdaub23
reply to post by Advantage
 


never once in my post did i say anthing about geting upset for not recievinh stars..thats not the point i was trying to make, the point is that proplr that have good points and talk directly to the op being ingnored when it seems like they are responding to everyone else..it has nothing to do woth stars its more like common courtesy...and excuse me if i am not makinh much since right now...i have been up for awhile..it seems like my problem that i have and posyed in a earlied thread of mine has gotten bigger
edit on 17-4-2011 by gdaub23 because: (no reason given)

Read closer, I said I was amazed you recieved a u2u from someone chastising you about responses and stars.. and thats what I was speaking about. But hey, if you want to lump me in with others who ignore newbies... go ahead.
edit on 17-4-2011 by Advantage because: (no reason given)



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