posted on Apr, 15 2011 @ 05:54 AM
Hi this is my first time I posted on a site like this, mostly because I can't handle whats going on it's only gotten worse and I need advice. If
I'm braking rules by posting this here i apologize but I just need some help.
Let me give you a little background just so you understand somethings when I say them when I tell you the problem.
I can't remember the exact date but it was after I got out of the marine corps I found by focusing on my hands and breathing deep I could stop the
panic attacks (mostly just focusing on something other then the fact that I couldn't breath). But then after doing it many times a day I started
feeling as though my hands where holding something. I kept trying to do it because at this point my curiosity was peeked. It was also fun and I
noticed that when I held my hands close together when doing it in the dark it almost looked like I could see something really faint swirling in
between my hands. (of topic thought I need to get batteries for my camera and see if I can record it for you guys) needless to say after this I was
hooked, I was always doing it and wondering what it is. I have my own theory, the human body radiates infrared radiation and perhaps that is just
directing that energy to my hands, not sure if anything useful could come from it. But I also don't do it every night anymore.
Every now and then, I've gotten the feeling like I was being watched, I chocked it up to the normal paranoia that comes with PTSD. But then I
started seeing things and feeling things, at first the feeling was just the hair on the back of my neck going up and the seeing things was just out of
the corner of my eyes and little flashes of light. But now I see almost what looks like outlines in the failing light and when I'm tring to sleep it
will feel like someone just sat on the bed or is poking me slightly. The reason for the background info was because every time i do that it feels
like whatever it is goes away or if I get really angry and start flipping out. But tonight it's worse I just want to go to sleep but I'm too wide
awake because whatever this is keeps messing with me it hits the back of my computer chair or makes it rotate a little I'm flipping out but it wont
go away. Also, I keep seeing something out of the corner of my eye almost like it's looking at the computer screen as I type. I know this is going
to sound crazy so please don't say it I know how it sounds but I almost get a feeling like it's trying to show me off, like you would to your
something else that I think is strange is the fact that out of the blue I get the damnedest urge to switch to a vegan diet and I'm not sure why also
I don't know why but I feel bad when people hurt each other I used to just not give a damn but now I'm concerned about animals and plants and people
and have a hard time wondering why we can't just help each other and why humans have to breed so much. Our planet can't support our population
growth for very long, resource wise. See I never gave a damn about any of this what is going on with me whatever this is wont give me answers so I
need some kind of explanation.
any help would be greatly appreciated