posted on Apr, 20 2011 @ 01:02 PM
I had an experience I talked about publicly a few months back that may apply to tulpa theory....
I was sitting at my computer desk in my living room when I saw something stumble across the door frame to the hall. It was a fleeting something or
other, maybe just my eyes playing tricks, so I didn't give it much thought. Then it stumbled into the room: a little brown mouse. It walked to the
center of the living room and sat there. I was horrified.
Crap, a mouse! I never get mice!
A friend slept over on the couch the previous night and she'd left food on the floor. Who does that? Kinda rude, but I digress--between the food and
the fact that there was some construction going on underneath my apartment, I think the little fella must have been displaced and smelled the grub.
Still,what mouse in its right mind just plunks down in the middle of a room with you in it? Usually, they run along floor boards and try not to get
I stared at it for a good long minute, not sure what to do. Then I made a move to stand up and the mouse wobble-ran under the couch. I overturned
everything trying to find it but I couldn't. It was gone.
I obsessed about this thing the rest of the day. Had it been poisoned? Was it dying? Is that why it was discombobulated?
Crap! NOT MICE!
I ran out and bought traps and the such. Blocked any potential entryways I could find. This was the first time I'd seen a mouse in this apartment and
I was determined it would be the last, but the fact that I hadn't caught it just bore into my obsessing mind. It was awful! Like that song that gets
stuck in your head and you can't shake it, times a thousand.
The obsessing was so bad that I found it hard to sleep and when I did sleep, I dreamed of the mouse. I dreamed of catching it in a glass with some
bugs. The dream was extremely vivid, lucid, and kind of gross with the bugs.
Now here comes the tulpa part (or really crazy part, for those of you keeping score)....
As I'm dreaming this, I feel the mouse come out of a nonexistent hole at the nape of my neck. I feel the weight of it on its tiny claws as it runs
across my head and jumps. I hear its pitter-pattering on my hair. This is all very quick and so real that it startles me awake. I open my eyes and see
the mouse leap off my head and dissolve midair.
So what happened?
I think the simplest explanation is that a dying mouse stumbled into my living room and when I couldn't catch it, I obsessed about it for nearly 8
hours to the exclusion of everything else. Longer, in fact, well into my dreams. That lengthy, strong singular focus "pulled out of me" this
extremely realistic hallucination of the mouse. So real that "hallucination" may not be the right word. "Facsimile" is more like it.
Now, imagine if I had done that on purpose? Imagine if it hadn't been a mouse but a situation I was focusing on, or an alien, or a dead relative? I
think that quality of focus is hard to come by because when you intend to focus on something that hard, the intention gets in the way. The mere
thought of intending becomes an oh-so-slight barrier between you and the focus. I was at one with the focus. I mean there was no me focusing--I was
the action of focusing. I was obsession itself and THAT is what drew this out of me.
Still, the implications are staggering and I'm certain someone somewhere in history has invented or had the epiphany of a workaround to that little
barrier. One wonders if they also figured out a work around to the fleeting nature of the facsimile.
Is there something about the dream state that is important here? Obsess until you lucid dream and from that realm of superposition make real the
Or is it that I created a momentary schizophrenia? A burp of mental illness from such unhealthy obsession? Would anyone else have seen the mouse jump
from my head if they'd been in my room?
This really did happen to me. Beyond the question of, "What is it" lies the question, "Does it have a practical use?"
To me, that's where the issue of the tulpa stands.