Let me start by saying I am the Pope.
I started the church. So I am the Pope.
I'm going to cheat here and repost my original idea statement from another thread. That thread is too important to ruin with my sermons on unrelated
Here's the thread...
I started it because I was hoping to save some lives. The gas companies are going to cause a catastrope.
Now back to the purpose of the Church of Carlin.
Ah, screw it. I'm tired and I've already ranted on my other thread today so I'm out of steam and am running out of witty things to write. So, you all
can say what you want about our God.
Some rules for the membership.
You're gonna hate me. But so what. I'm the Pope.
Rule number one. You cannot be a member until swear an oath. Using your real name. I use my real name. So I don't want any 2012endtimesbob joining my
church. I'll come up with the oath later. It's just a bunch of words anyways. It is just to prove you'll say whatever I tell you to say. Hell, if you
want to come up with an oath. Go to town. I'm open.
You can comment here using your online handles. But you won't become a real member until you start a new account with your real name. Don't be afraid.
I'm not. Only people brave enough to drop the phony identities can join my church. If your one of the first to join. You can become a cardinal. Or is
it a bishop that's next in line? Who cares. I'll have thirteen cardinals. Why thirteen? Because it's holy I say. It's my favorite number.
It's great to be a member of the Church of Carlin. Because we don't have an actual building. So you don't have to dress up in your Sunday Best. The
computer screen is our temple. You can sit in your dirty underwear and pray if you want. I don't care. As long as you pray. Pray to our God, George
Carlin. For stuff.
Here's another one of those commandent type things. You know, rules. No New World Order Bullpucky.
Our lord spoke of world dominatino by the owners. But it doesn't need any extra conspiracy overtones. It's simply the owners and the workers. Simple
class struggle. As Pope, I deem it a sin to say that distracts from the simple struggle between the rich and the poor, between the haves' and
havenots. Please try to use the same common sense that our Lord Carlin used in his sermons. It's really simple.
The word HAARP here is blasphemy. HAARP and other ideas are put out there as distractions. Don't fall into the trap. The simple answer is that we are
not free. The corportations and the wealthy are trying to monopolize the world. I would call it the New World Order but it's not so. It's the same
fracking people that have always determined when countries went to war. It is the same order that has always made up the rules and run the culture.
It's the Old World Order.
So please spare me your new conspiracies and save them for the other threads. I'm still raging against the orignal ones,so I will excommunicate anyone
that doesn't understand this order from you God, George Carlin.
Ok, I've gone too far, too fast. Here's the post where I was divinly inspired by our Lord...
"I've concluded that I have no control over my writing anymore.
I could write on my alternative thread, Robinesque Ruminations.
But that is a disappointment, because it failed at it's real purpose.
I won't elaborate on that subject.
It is obvious that I am not focused here. My frustration is too great. It is contaminating this valuable discussion. So I need to find another outlet.
Since I can't stop writing. And since I have no control. The subject needs to be grand and I feel compelled to find a truth which will comfort me. I
was having trouble figuring out what to do. I can't finish my novel. I'm not able to find the right frame of mind. I'm too stressed. I had find
Then I figured it all out. I found my purpose.
I need something to believe in. I need faith. The only thing I believe in now is my writing. When I think I am right, and I think I have something
important to say, I write. It's like I'm possessed. It's a complusion akin to a spiritual awakening of sorts. When I write, I want to preach. But I
follow no organized faith. I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member. So how can I preach the truth when I can't find anyone who
believes in everything that I do?
Well I found once person.
But he's dead.
He was a prophet and was the most truthful person I've ever heard speak.
He spoke my language. He thinks about things in the same way I do.
I'm starting a new religion.
The prophet's name is George Carlin.
I am going to found the Church of Carlin.
I am the first Carlinite.
And since I am the first Carlinite.
I'm the Pope of the church.
That ought to keep me busy. I need to organize a new religion into a movement.
Wow. Hard work sucks.
So I'm going to start a new thread. I'll post the link after I start it. I just need to spare you my sermons on this thread."
So my brothers and sisters, join the Church of Carlin and spread the good word. Well, words more precisely. You know, the seven dirty words you can't
say on television.
Imagine this. If I were to say fu... or the other dirty words, this post would be removed.
What a strange world. So if you want to understand the world, join today.
And to hell with any errors or grammical mutilations. I am infallible. Just change the way to spell words from now on to follow my example. I am the
Do you remember the Monty Python gag called the bishop? I should find a You Tube link.....
This scene ends with me walking away from my computer to have a cigarette, the whole time muttering and fretting as I fade from view.
edit on 11-4-2011 by Robin Marks because: (no reason given)