Heartbreak is a nagging pain

i recently lost the love of my life,it hurts especially bad cuzz she cut me off with no formal break up,just out of nowhere stopped talking,so then i got a facebook to view her wall and seen that she was "getting close" to someone but messed it up, ive been thru this before but its unbearable,its also a physical pain, any suggestions on how to deal?

story of my life here

I definatly know how you feel, I almost killed myself because of a break up. Love is a fickle whore.

I found that listening to rage against the machine and going to rave parties quickly ended my heartbreak. Also, playing like you really don't care (even though you do) will have her wondering why you aren't upset. She will then break down and try to see what you are doing and probably try to make contact with you. Delete her from your facebook friends, act like an ass (even though you probably arent) and watch the magic happen. Whatever you do, don't call her crying. Then all bets are off and she will do the "Finish him" heart rip out thing from Mortal Kombat. lol

I would rather be single than to experience the problems the OP have. I'm sure dating isn't the right thing for me ( I never dated)

I feel your pain. I have found out that acting you are moving on and are ok with everything is the one thing that will bring them back. Kind of like reverse psychology, but it seems to work.

I feel you bro, and it's true what other posters are saying, if you treat them like crap they come back, unfortunately I was never able to bring myself to do that. Good guys do wind up losing. It sux and is unbearable, I have even contemplated the whole suicide thing during such moments, but it is best to know that it is just a reaction to the throes of delirium. The only thing that makes it go away, distract yourself, do your best not to think about it, and time will take care of the rest. .....I know, easier said than done.

Originally posted by tinker9917
I feel your pain. I have found out that acting you are moving on and are ok with everything is the one thing that will bring them back. Kind of like reverse psychology, but it seems to work.

Exactly, its so evil. I'd rather just play my guitar and not be bothered.

Originally posted by CUJOCREEP
i recently lost the love of my life,it hurts especially bad cuzz she cut me off with no formal break up,just out of nowhere stopped talking,so then i got a facebook to view her wall and seen that she was "getting close" to someone but messed it up, ive been thru this before but its unbearable,its also a physical pain, any suggestions on how to deal?

First off, she wasnt the "love of your life" GET THAT THRU YOUR HEAD!

It may feel like she was, but I assure you she wasnt. Its been 2 yrs since my breakup and I can assure you the only thing that will help you is: 1. Time 2. Distractions 3.TIME

Nobody who is the love of your life will simply cut you off. My guess is that you relied on her waaay too much to make your own decisions. Im sure the first thing you asked her when you were going out was "where do you want to go sweetie pie?"

Take control of your own life, and things will be OK.

Just ask yourself, were you that important to her? I think not, otherwise what kind of creature would just cut you off with no explanation?

Try and remember all those annoying, nagging, repetitive things she did, things that were unattractive and made you mad, and you will understand that you are BETTER OFF WITHOUT HER.

If you want to talk more, you can PM me brother.

Open up a beer and get on with your life!

---GeminiSky

reply to post by CUJOCREEP


The simple answer is to not fall in love with other people - fall in love with the things that can't hurt you (at least emotionally) eg. hobbies and the beauty of nature. This is easier said than done though...

Break ups are really hard and hurt a lot. My advice for getting over it: go out to clubs or social events to meet new girls (or guys). It's a big ego boost - it's a distraction and you'll find you hurt less the more people you see and the more you do to avoid thinking about the ex. Think about the positives in life! It can be very hard but if you believe you can make it through you will be back to happiness in no time

Also avoid thinking about what you might have done wrong. Everyone makes mistakes in life and if you overthink it your just gonna end up on a downward spiral. Think about how you can learn from your experience and how you can apply that knowledge to your next relationship (but never make it overcomplicated because relationships should be natural and of passion rather than neccessity)

Hope that helps!

if they break up..they allready have chosen to leave you a while ago...
when i read "i saw on facebook..." i get eyecancer....something maybe wasnt like it was before...maybe you didnt realize...now its to late..

only help is...go out...drink...find a new one...

dont stalk her....and stop checking your relationship on facebook :S...

try to be a friend...she never come back when you stalk her..

find a way to go on..on your own...

reply to post by CUJOCREEP


Feel ya bro, heartbreak is like a "little death." Fortunately, you will get over it. I just had the craziest, most troublesome woman leave me. and I am still somewhere between doing cartwheels and calling her up to take me back. We were together for quite some time. Mostly habit I figure by now.

reply to post by CUJOCREEP


Never make anyone a priority,
Who treats you as an option

reply to post by CUJOCREEP


Move on.
You'll find someone else.
Plenty of fish in the sea.

There's a reason people say such things so much.
It's because it's true.
I'm also betting you are WAY too young to actually call anyone the "love of your life"...
Years from now, you'll look back and say, "What was I thinking?"....

Believe me when I say "I feel ya." All you have to do is look at my threads from January to see what my ex did to me.

I flew to Italy for 3wks, had a wonderful time and thought everything was just perfect...THEN I get back to the states and the next day he breaks up with me with some BS excuse and hasn't talked to me since.

He sent me a few things I left there and NO note in the box. That really pissed me off too lol.

It was really hard for me at first and if it wasn't for my close personal friends and the friendships I have with people on here I would have lost it. It was completely out of nowhere as well and most people thought I was kidding so I do know how you feel.

I can say that I am happy and seeing someone new. It's nice because I wasn't expecting this person to come into my life and well they kind of just walked in and smacked me lol. He has all the traits I want in a guy and he has the two main ones most guys I date lack!

So time is pretty much the only thing that will help. Believe me I HATED that saying but it is true. The more I thought about what happened and the more he just ignored me the more I got pissed off and told myself he wasn't going to keep me down anymore. I did nothing wrong to deserve the treatment he gave me and it is his loss all the way. I guarantee he will regret it one day but that is fine, I do forgive him.


Hope it all works out for you in the end....
There is someone out there deserving of you...


I like to think that one door closed and another one opened with better opportunities

Honestly,
I dont think its right to just wake up the next day and pretend like nothing happend and just move on to a different person. If you do that, you'll only be trying to find your ex in the new person which will make the pain 10x worse.

Instead, take your time and be sad. Cry it all out if you need to and soon you'll realize that person didnt deserve you afterall. Then you'll be so much more happier than you ever were with your ex. Go out, do things that you like and enjoy the freedom.

reply to post by CUJOCREEP


Bummer man, breakups are never fun... Best advice i could give you is this...

The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else