Addiction

Hello everyone. I don't really know how to start this off so here's a shot.

Addiction is viral in almost every country now, especially here in America. As an addict in recovery myself, I have found that many around me cannot grasp why I am an addict, and why it is so difficult to say no. Each addict has his own demons whether it be alcohol, drugs, porn, as well as many others. Different treatment is needed to not necessarily cure the person, but to help them deal with the problems going on around them. Many people for instance turn to drugs and alcohol to mask hurt and trauma that they have experienced sometime throughout their lives. This could be anything from sexual abuse, to emotional trauma, to depression.

Why are so many people suffering from addiction now?

Society now has in a way embraced and glamorized addicts. Charlie Sheen for example. This is a major problem that really needs to be fixed. Another reason which is a major one for me was the availability to do it without anyone knowing. I was able to hide my addiction from my parents and my woman. Part. Of this was because they had never experienced this from their own family members. My father is a police officer, and my mother and fiance are both nurses. The fact that I was able to hide it from them crushed and shocked them.

Some signs you may want to look for is mood swings and change in personality. I was the sweetest guy and best friend to everyone I knew. When I came back from my job...that all changed. I turned to a substance to mask my emotions and therefore I became one angry sob. I hated everyone around me. I didn't trust anyone anymore and alot of that was because I didn't trust myself. Another sign is distancing and financial issues. I was spending tons of money on booze and had the mindset that I could compensate for it. Never happened. I broke my bank. I distanced myself from my family and from society. I didn't want to go out anymore, and I didn't want to spend time doing the things I enjoyed. I had no out. My only hobby was drinking.

My whole point in all of this is to try and give families, wives, husbands, some kind of insight on how we think. With addiction at such a high rate we have to do something. Here is a wonderful website which gives some facts and input on addiction. If you have any questions or want to know anything, please ask.
Addiction Info

Hello, friend, good thoughtful post.
I am a recovering gambling addict. Just a few nights ago I said "I haven't been in 6 months..but that doesn't mean I wouldn't blow all our money at the first chance". I don't know why, although I know how it started, and I wish it would go away. The only thing I can do is physically stay away from any gambling establishment. I have been through counseling, and I have sought help in a church (although I have since moved away) and received an incredible amount of support through them and the few people who know the extent of the problem. I also tell every person I know! I am a gambling addict! I am not proud but I want them to know, because there had been times I tried to sneak away and was afraid someone would see me, and with good reason! I was guilty. Unfortunately I had the hush-hush type of friends who wouldn't say anything, and now I have befriended a bunch of tattle tales which in this case, is good. Not only do I need to do self control for myself, but I need to also make sure nobody sees me.....BY NOT GOING AT ALL!!!!! and now I am proudly at my 6 months. I also have a tattoo on my arm...it is a poker hand of cards that read "3,7,6,5,9" and say "Know when to hold em". the 3/7 is my son's birthday, 6/5 is when I got married, and they were both in 2009. I had to know when to hold em...I almost lost both of them to this stupid, ridiculous addiction. I am reminded permanently how important it is for me to show self control and to battle and maybe someday completely overcome the addiction.
I pray for anyone who is affected by addiction. Anything from picking their nose, to gambling, to alcohol or drugs...Lord knows I have had the "is it even a real addiction?" argument 10000 times. But there is hope, and I hope everybody out there knows there are other people who care.

One of the worst thing about addiction that helps perpetuate the disease is mistrust.

Often, someone has traits inherent to them that are expressed while under the influence, and people come to assume that one is because of the other.

Most times this is not true - the actor Oliver Reed is alleged to have said “A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.” ... Meaning that we say what we mean under the influence.

Yet how many times, in sobriety have people assumed you're using or are incoherent for stating what you really feel?

People who expect you to be a certain way while using, will never accept your similar attitude sober, and continually accuse.

At least in my case.

And it just makes you throw your arms in the air and say "FRAK IT.. WHY BOTHER..."

I was never a saint, so screw those who put blame on me for things I am not guilty of, simply because they never knew me sober...

lol

reply to post by Vanna


Gambling is definitely an addiction! 6 months, wow. You should be so proud of yourself and im certain your family is as well. I love the tattoo also. How did you get involved in gambling was it just a fun thing that turned into an addiction or was it something you did to get away from everything? My demon is alcohol. I came back from my second tour in Iraq and I just lost it. I turned to alcohol because it was fun and made me feel great at the time. My turning point was I put my pistol to my head and pulled the trigger in front of my fiance. I had one in the chamber but it didn't discharge. Of course she told me family so my only choice was to get help and take my life back, or keep on going down the same road and end up without a family. Im here if you ever need to talk. You can't get through it without some kind of support. I have a friend, he's a coach. He is a former meth and coc aine addict. I call him at 4 in the morning sometimes but he always is there for me. If you need anything many of us are here.

reply to post by badw0lf


Excellent point. I think many of us come into that. I personally get furious when you get into an arguement and you get accused of "drinking again". I understand where your coming from.

reply to post by LoverBoy


My sister helped me get a job in a casino as a waitress. I walked around for 9 hours a day seeing people win jackpots, sometimes 10+ a day! I saw people win cars, tickets to Vegas, etc etc. It was just too alluring, and before you know it, there I was.
My sister and I have always had a rocky relationship, and one of her vices is gambling...she may not be "as bad" as she was, but she still goes, and when we went together, we got along, and I believe that helped it along a great deal. At one point I was making $320 a week(which is beans to begin with) and I would immediately lose $280 of it. I was living with my parents to "get out of debt" and, well, I was still in debt at the end of it...and lived with them for way too long.
Looking back, I can't tell you if it has made me stronger, but it has definitely made me realize what hangs in the balance.
I am glad you're on a path to recovery as well...addiction is so very, very hard. I want to eventually become someone's sponsor...but I'm just not there yet.

reply to post by badw0lf


I am married to an alcoholic. His longest run on the wagon was about 8 months...but he recently fell off. He used to say some very hurtful things to me in his drunkenness, and I will admit we have exchanged hurtful words even as he was sober, because I was unable to forgive him for things he has said, and we had to seek counseling. So far, he hasn't gotten to "the bottom" as he did before,so we'll see how it goes. He is also an Iraq veteran twice, and that's what fuels the fire, so to speak. Good luck in your journey for recovery.

reply to post by Vanna


Oh wow im sure that definitely was tempting. I hope you still don't work there! I would love to be a coach or sponsor but as you said, I have a long way to go. Im almost 4 months in.

reply to post by LoverBoy


And no matter how hard you try and explain it, you just seem to find they have re and more against you for it.

A lose/lose situation.

Easier to distance yourself from those kin, and focus on yourself - if possible, hard for me, but at the end of the day, I know where I am..

The world is a big pool of bollocks if you ask me.. lol .. So many nuts, and so few nut crackers...

Originally posted by Vanna
reply to post by badw0lf

 

I am married to an alcoholic. His longest run on the wagon was about 8 months...but he recently fell off. He used to say some very hurtful things to me in his drunkenness, and I will admit we have exchanged hurtful words even as he was sober, because I was unable to forgive him for things he has said, and we had to seek counseling. So far, he hasn't gotten to "the bottom" as he did before,so we'll see how it goes. He is also an Iraq veteran twice, and that's what fuels the fire, so to speak. Good luck in your journey for recovery.

Oh there is a very very big difference between being hurtful, and being honest.. Believe me.

They just mingle so close when you're in that state -- I have said some god awful things.. and I'm not a bad person.. Im not a tyrant nor a hateful person - I have my moments, etc.. but overall I am entirely a non-confrontational type of guy.

To people I love I've said some of the worst things - which haunt me.. but those were never things I thought sober - they were intended to hurt.

I can't speak for anyone else, but you can be so god damned evil when you feel someone's trying to hurt you emotionally. And then realise you were completely wrong when you're sober and can never get that trust back.

If you're still married, I pray he gets help - I lost so much because I went absolutely mental, but I was also on zoloft..

You can never take back the tears of those you hurt.. once wept they are forever cried.

I'd do anything to go back in time...

reply to post by badw0lf


Amen to that. Reminds of of something one of my fiance's ghetto friends say all the time. "Don't worry about anyone else, just do you boo boo". Hilarious but it is true.