Drinkings and doing drugs to make friends

Originally posted by lonegurkha
Lasting friendships are not formed with drugs and alcohol.

some are. enjoy yourself and do what feels right to you... horses for courses kinda thing..

kx

reply to post by purplemer


drugs and alcohol make for short lived and shallow relationships.

Originally posted by lonegurkha
reply to post by heyJude

 

You have a shallow "buddy" Is she gonna have your back when you need it. Or will she betray you when you least expect it?

It's an open relationship

I've lived in the best places in Germany and New England, and I can say is that I can not relate to Southerners.

It feels like their IQ really is lower. And in a small university town, people like me rarely come into contact with each other and which means that there is no group that I can join.

reply to post by heyJude


I'm so happy for you. Ask some one with an open relationship how well it works. They usually don't last long.

Originally posted by lonegurkha
reply to post by heyJude

 

I'm so happy for you. Ask some one with an open relationship how well it works. They usually don't last long.

Well I've been seeing her too for the last 15 years too and things are fine. I had to drop her friend lady H though a few years back . It was for the better.

Stay Green avoid anything white or brown.

That is all

Trowa

The problem is, when the party is over so is the friendship usually.

You know the answer already, otherwise you wouldn't have asked (not trying to be mean, just a fact).

I still enjoy a couple of drinks here or there with the people that have been with me for years, but it is rare that my intake exceeds a six pack or (more likely) a bottle of wine. Maybe once or twice a year I'll cut loose but it's under specific circumstances (at a cottage/camp...etc).

There are things you can learn about both yourself and others by joining in, sadly though most of those lessons stem from negative consequences (for you or others.

What matters is what YOU are comfortable with.


ETA...

As the above poster said...stay away from hard drugs, if it doesn't grow naturally the way it is sold leave it alone.

The catch22 here is that wisdom comes from experience and mistakes are the quickest way to gain valuable experience.

reply to post by die_another_day


Don't ever move to the New Mexico then. I'm from NJ and have lived in Savanna and Nashville, now I'm in the dreaded state of NM. The people in the southeast are like brain surgeons to people out here. And the funny thing was while I was there, in the SE, I said the same thing as you did.

Of course there are always exceptions to the rule. . .

Originally posted by [davinci]
The problem is, when the party is over so is the friendship usually.

You know the answer already, otherwise you wouldn't have asked (not trying to be mean, just a fact).

I still enjoy a couple of drinks here or there with the people that have been with me for years, but it is rare that my intake exceeds a six pack or (more likely) a bottle of wine. Maybe once or twice a year I'll cut loose but it's under specific circumstances (at a cottage/camp...etc).

There are things you can learn about both yourself and others by joining in, sadly though most of those lessons stem from negative consequences (for you or others.

What matters is what YOU are comfortable with.


ETA...

As the above poster said...stay away from hard drugs, if it doesn't grow naturally the way it is sold leave it alone.

The catch22 here is that wisdom comes from experience and mistakes are the quickest way to gain valuable experience.

edit on 7-4-2011 by [davinci] because: (no reason given)

I've learned a lot from economic loss.

Do you guys think that college is not a time to play around anymore?

Sometimes I just think that I've had my share of fun as a kid.

reply to post by die_another_day


College is a great time to go in different directions and see who you are.

However this can be hard to do if you are surrounded by the same people that where there from highschool. When I went to university part of the reason I went to the school I did was because none of my friends were going there.

The whole time I was there I only came across 3 people that I had known from home.

For me this was great because I was able start with a blank slate without having any attachments from the past to weigh me down...something that would not have been possible living at home or going to the school(s) that everyone else went to.

You are going to have to experiment and learn who you are at some point, the earlier you start down that path the better you will be in the long run. Living in a protected bubble will only make things harder as these types of discoveries are more difficult/more problematic to make as you get older (too many expectations, too many responsibilities).

A prime example is the stereotypical 'mid-life crisis' that many men go through.

Why does it happen? They got themselves married, mortgaged and generally just settled into a life without actually learning about themselves or whether that was what they wanted. Years later they wake up and look around and realize that they did exactly what everyone else expected of them; they took the default path in life (white picket fences, 2.3 children...etc).

In short, they don't know who THEY are.

I cannot give you an answer specifically; I don't know you to give that type of advice. I will offer you a serious word of caution...

Be mindfull of your surroundings.

Both of the things you have asked about WILL impare your judgement, do not mix that with a situation where you can be abandonned or stuck in a bad situation. Know who you are with if you are going to try something new...can you trust them, can you trust them to look out for/after you.

Also remember that with alcohol what you feel is 2-3 drinks behind what is in your system.

reply to post by [davinci]


Wow thanks for the lecture . I like talking with older people for some reason. Especially at my lab.

reply to post by die_another_day


Your welcome?

The problem with text is that there are no other cues as to how a comment is intended.

I have read many of your personal posts and have seen a darkness that, based on personal experience, can become all encompassing if left unchecked.

Where I have been through many of the things you discuss having trouble with I thought I could offer a perspective that may be of some help.

-sigh-

At least I tried.