Wedding bands

Why is it necessary to have wedding rings? Other than the obvious (to me) fact that they are a marker of property, there seems like few other reasons that someone would have to sow their affection with a band of gold.

I understand that wedding bands are always unbroken and complete circles to show unending love and luck in the relationship, but still it seems odd that they are needed.

Also, why are diamonds a girls best friend? Why couldn't... Oh... Like... Steel... Or Quartz? Marilyn sang it wonderful in a song, but I think Madonna had it correct by stating she was a material girl, showing the true colors of women.

Now I can understand that a guy should want the best for his wife, naturally so. But feeding the machine for jewelers everywhere is not helping. Don't believe me... Look at a diamond solitaire ring, then look at an “engagement” ring of the same size.

I know I will catch a lot of flack here, but I assure you, I am not a chauvinistic pig. Just listen and try to explain my last fact.

A guy gets a band. A gold band. The woman... You guessed it. Gets the big diamond AND a band. But wait... There's more! She can also get a wedding set, complete with the obvious wedding band, nice big solitary diamond and... Pause for effect... a THIRD ring. Usually endowed with more diamonds.

So please... Women of the world... Explain to me how a wedding set is not a show of “how great/rich a guy I have” while the guy has nothing more than the proverbial ball and chain of a plain band.

reply to post by Jkd Up


So you're getting married and totally bummed you don't get an engagement ring.. and your wedding band gotts to be so bland.. I feel ya.. had the same issue 2 years ago.. I don't know what to say really.. except... its an investment.. if I go broke, I can always make my wife sell her ring..

reply to post by Jkd Up


It is a marketing ploy by De Beers plain and simple and the women of the west fell for it completely. At least that is the reason for the diamonds.

I can see a symbolic show of love and I can also see that in times past a man's ability to take care of a woman could be verified by how much he could spend on a ring. These days it is all princess BS pushed by a marketing machine and really pisses me off.

I wound up putting a slightly more than token effort into my wife's ring but I seriously reconsidered the marriage when I realized she really wanted a ring. Eventually I decided I love her more than my principals in that particular regard. But it was very close I must say.

I think it's primarily supposed to be a reminder that you're married.

It also lets other people know you're married and could even preemptively avoid incidences where temptation may get the better of you...

Also it's tradition - society has always had traditions and I think unfortunately humanity has lost a lot of their uniqueness, tradition and culture due to our media driven environments & the active campaign to turn us all into identical consumerist zombies.

I don't generally believe tradition is a bad thing (of course there are a few that should stay in the annals of history only) but I think it's healthy to hang on to some of them...it's part of what helps to makes us human...

The wedding band and marriage are a couple of the traditions I think would be best held on to.

reply to post by Jinglelord


Yeah - the fact that it MUST be a diamond is ridiculous - I agree that is a marketing campaign driven phenomenon ...I don't think it should HAVE to be a diamond.

But it does need to be metal & durable - otherwise it won't last through the day to day use for years (which of course you're always hoping that the marriage lasts for years...but the divorce rates in this country are a whole other issue)

My problem is with engagement rings. Why the hell should i have to flaunt some ridiculous ring stating to the whole world , "IM TAKEN, GO AWAY"... But my fiance doesnt have to wear anything of the sort.. Unless he tells a girl hes engaged they dont know!
I think we should make men wear the diamonds. (JUST MY OPINION (: )

Yeah it's a sham, but there's nothing we can do about it. I don't think you'll find a girl in the world who will honestly tell you she doesn't want one. Then we have to spend the rule of thumb 3 months salary, or 3 years salary if you're Michaels Scott Then the wedding itself is another $20k, followed by valentines day and anniversary celebrations for the years after that. The romance industry makes a killing, but on the flip side, so does the porn industry.

reply to post by cleverhans


Hate to burst your bubble. My wife has never cared for diamonds or gold. I got her a decent silver ring. She told me flat out that she didn't want overblown diamonds. Our wedding was way under 10k, and it was a halloween theme. There are women out there that don't go for that propaganda marketing schemes. I've known a few. I love my wife because she is more about the simpler things in life.

Wedding bands are important. It lets everyone know you are taken. Cuts down on the energy it would take to say so. The rest is just pointless commercialism.

I am more concerned that YOU NEED A LICENSE to get married...isn't that something? You need a license? What the hell? Do you know where marriage licenses originated? With SLAVES.

Originally posted by intrepid
Wedding bands are important. It lets everyone know you are taken. Cuts down on the energy it would take to say so. The rest is just pointless commercialism.

Your soul tells you you are taken... The ring is just an advertisment.

reply to post by SmokeandShadow


We are all slaves in the Land of the Free It is kind of disturbing though...

Wedding set? Never heard of that. However, I think the engagement thing is just a massive money maker. A previous poster mentioned 'three months wages' on one? What a waste! There is no real need to have one.
Although, in my opinion, if you are married you should be wearing a wedding band.

The bands tend to remind you that there is now another half of you that you need to consider when making decisions now. Atleast that is how I view it. It is there as a constant reminder. Not as a sign of bondage, property, or to warn others away.... as if that even worked.

I have 4 rings. A simple wide band of gold that is all I received before and after the wedding itself. One is my mothers wedding band that was purchased for her at a pawn shop upon her marriage, containing two entwined hearts with two small chips of diamond (could qualify as dust it is so minute). I wear it for the sentimental value. The other two is a tiny solitaire with a band that my husband purchased at a consignment shop 10 years after we were married for Christmas. His idea that he never purchased a "proper" engagement ring. I could not have cared less. I didn't need it to get married and I certainly didn't need it to stay married. He put thought into it, it meant something to him so it does to me and I wear it for that reason.

Cherishing the simple things is what will help a marriage stay strong through the tough times. In this economy many are parting with their huge diamonds, bands, and marriages for that matter. When the money gets tight, and the gifts become fewer, the nights out get farther apart, so do the couples that put material things and money ahead of what really matters. Who has your back when you have nothing left?

We started with nothing. Not even a honeymoon. Over 14 years later we still don't have as much as others, but we have each other and our family.

IMO Too much emphasis is put on what you describe. I apologize for my long winded post getting to that point.

Eta.. We got married at the magistrates office with both sets of our parents in attendance and my dad filmed it. Total cost... About $60.00. Most of that was for the license. Friends and family made food and the reception was at my in-laws house. All women are not the same. As I would not have done it any other way.

I thought wedding rings symbol never ending love, since a ring is circular and never has an end.

Every woman is different, some want fancy rings, other want big,expensive ones. It depends on how materialistic the woman is or how much the man wants to show off.
.
Diamonds are just a marketing ploy, if I remember correctly, other gemstones are more rare.

Also, men and women can both get fancy rings, rings with diamonds, engagement rings (for men too) or plain rings. It depends on the person. My husband and I have rings that reflect our personalities and we both do not have plain bands. I also have a small, matching, diamond engagement ring that I never wear with my band unless I am going out.

If you are looking to get married, shop around. Lots of people aren't falling in to the marketing trap but getting more meaningful symbols of love. .

reply to post by collietta


I think we should also consider that not all women who want jewelry are being materialistic and like to show off.

My wife and I both really enjoy all kinds of precious and semi precious gems as well as the craftsmanship that goes into a nice piece of jewelry. While this is technically materialistic I think it isn't quite what you meant and also in my estimation is much different than wanting a nice piece of jewelry to "show off" rather than one to keep locked up and appreciate strictly for it's beauty and craftsmanship.

Originally posted by Jkd Up
Your soul tells you you are taken... The ring is just an advertisment.

That's my point. Ergonomics. Ring on my finger I don't have to say I'm taken, it's evident. If you're single, ring on her finger and you know she's taken. Less energy spent by all.

reply to post by SmokeandShadow


Call it a licence, call it a bit of paper which formally registers the union, whatever

Did your parents get married ? Would you prefer to be illegitimate ? Would you choose for your children to be illegitimate ? What would they prefer when they're older and the issue arises ?

reply to post by coldkidc


I used to make ornate rings out of hardwood. To me they were as beautiful as any gold ring but are fragile and you need to be careful when wearing them because they get damaged and break easily. I always thought this would be a great wedding ring because like any marriage it is fragile and if you don't take care or it and abuse it it will break.

Love might be eternal but marriage is work and requires a level of thoughtfulness and respect modern society has quit enforcing.

reply to post by Jkd Up


Jkd Up there nice part of life is you're in charge of yours. What happens to you is because you allow it to. If you don't mind being with a woman that has firm opinions of you buying her expensive diamond and gold engagement or wedding jewelry, all is well. Flip side, if you object to the tradition, the expense or the idea, you know not to pursue a mate that has such a priority.

I do the food shopping. For years I see there are around 24 different magazines by the check-out register devoted to instructing women on how to apply war paint, dress to seduce, land a guy, rip him apart and put him back together again. Women in America have this mentality shoved in their faces all their lives. A huge portion of advertisement is based on sex sells, youth sells, sexy youths sell. Marketing and advertising people do not care about morals and virtues, and what their constant barrage of imagery does to peoples viewpoints. Women have a lot of people competing for their money and the money they influence. But I figure I someone as dull as me can see this, so can they.

I found happiness by avoiding airheads, demanding shrews, head cases and dullards. Women that would jump at anybody with a big, fat, thick wallet never saw money dripping from this boy so those whores were never an issue. I can appreciate a person enjoying a nice jewelry gift, especially when its a better quality piece of value. I've learned many women consider their better jewelry to be a go-to in case of emergency. They can jump ship, cash in and wash you out of their hair when they land in Miami. I LOL'd hard when I read another posters comment about 'selling his wifes ring if they need money'! bwahaha! He'll learn!

Jkd Up, if this thread was inspired because, as someone thought in another post, you are getting married, I'll pass along what I've lived. The bottom line, gifts come and gifts go, but the gifts my wife cherishes and uses the most are the really nice pieces of jewelry I've gifted her over the many years. Most other things I gave her were clutter that went unused, kid you not. And my wife is not a flashy, demanding woman. She just loves her Opal birthstone and enjoys my taste in jewelry. Cheers!