One of the many reasons why I am no longer a nice guy

Back when financial times were great, I was pulling in 600-2000 a week. Yeah it was great. I had friends that were down on their luck, and asked to borrow money, many times over. A few hundred here, a few hundred there. Was no big deal to me, and I was always willing to help my friends. Funny though, when I bring it up, no one remembers right? How can you not remember when you call a buddy telling them you have no food in the house, asking to borrow a few hundred bucks to fill the pantry? Everytime I borrowed any money from anyone, down to a tab at the local town store, as soon as I get money I repaid my debt. I only borrowed when I had already MADE that money, I was just waiting on a paycheck at the end of the job.

This is why if people ever want to borrow anything from me now, I write up a goddamn contract. People are obviously don't think like me.... Borrowing money is a last resort, and I always waited on borrowing until I knew I had the money coming to me in the near future, it just wasn't in my pocket. Makes me so mad people take advantage of other people willing to give the shirt off their back for their friends, then play stupid when that friend is down on their luck needing to be paid back...................

I know exactly what you mean. People are extremely selfish these days.

reply to post by Razmijix


Being a proud man I am, it took me a whole lot to even ask people.... It is a total slap in my face to have people either not remember when I bailed them out, or play stupid. And literally some of that money I loaned was to bail people out, of jail....

reply to post by TKDRL






I was brought up to believe "never a lender or a borrower be." More problems and relationships

break up over money. Another thing i was taught was NEVER lend what you are not prepared

to loose, and there by i never lend a second time if i have not been repaid back for the first time

My dad used to tell me that if I really wanted to see who my real friends were, line them all up and lend them $20 with a week to pay it back. On the 8th day, you'll have your answer.

The other interesting thing he said was the $20 was the cheapest way to get a non-friend out of my life.

Good lesson.

reply to post by TKDRL


bet they remember everything you owe them, however

giggidy

My rule is simple:

Don't loan money to family or friends and expect to ever get it back.

Look at the deal as a gift to them despite their earnest agreement otherwise.

Rarely will you be pleasently surprised.

Amen my friend. It even goes beyond money. My BEST friend recently had a major surgery. I was there before and after. Months before I was there offering emotional support. I helped her get around after her surgery. Visiting her constantly. Doing everything I could to make sure she was comfortable and not having self esteem issues. Well crap hit the fan within my family. Both of my sons will need surgery (for completely separate things) over the next couple months and I had to go in for an emergency surgery the day before yesterday to have a lump removed. Do you think she offered even an "are you ok? Do you need anything?" No. I put my obviously very busy life on hold for her for a good 3 weeks. I know you aren't suppose to expect anything in return when you do things for people... but when it's your friends.... that's a different story.

I had a discussion similar to this with my girlfriend today, she told me her friend called her too nice (which she is, I'll be honest) and was worried about me getting bored of always having a girlfriend who'll do anything I ask and always give me anything I want.
I basically told her to grow a pair and tell people to # off every once and a while, including me.
OP, has grown a pair and told people to # off every once and a while, including his friends, you deserve a hug...

...As long as I get one back.

reply to post by ampar84


I think you have found out the difference between a true friend and a user, sadly.

reply to post by eletheia


At the time, that was my mentality. I never dreamed that I would stop making money, lose my house that was 3/4 paid, etc. It's not like I planned to stop making money. Times are way different now. Lost my house, lost my business, life is tough. The thermostat is kept at 45, just to make sure pipes don't freeze and bust.

reply to post by TKDRL


A wise man once told me, the surest way for a man to develop amnesia... is to loan him money.

Some will say "I suffer from CRS!!!" (Can't remember sh!+). Or I will say it for them. I have family members who I have loaned money to, and they definitely fit this profile.

I run my own business. On the wall I have a couple of invoices that have never been payed, 2+ years old. When I think of these people, they were really small potatoes, and a pain in the you know...; I hope I don't hear from them again. Don't need that kind of customer, IMO.

ETA
BUT: I will not quit being a nice guy for the rest of the majority who are A-OK in my book.

reply to post by jude11


Glad I was always under the blue collar mentality I have been....
Never borrow until you made the money, and just don't have it in your hand yet.

reply to post by Aliensun


My family is always consistent, I have never had a problem lending money to my blood. I guess maybe it is because we were all raised under the same mentality. Been working men for at least 6 generations now.

reply to post by ampar84


That is sad as hell, makes me want to reach out and give you a hug. I know what it is like to have close family in the hospital, and not knowing what was going to happen. My baby sister got hit by a dick in a van not paying attention to the road. My mom got all kinds of messed up here, thanks to the great canadian healthcare, a simple appendix operation turned into a 2 month nightmare. I know how it feels to be helpless.

reply to post by squizzy


I thought I had found that out when I stopped using and dealing drugs, and having plenty to share. A whole lot dissapeared from my life after I went legit and working for a living. I guess some fake stragglers held on, and played at my heart strings.

reply to post by 1SawSomeThings


Yeah, I hear ya, there is a fine line between being a moron and a nice guy. Thanks for reminding me, there are some people that have never had a problem paying me back, they are like me.

I hate to say it but money isn't the only place people fall down. I used to always be the guy that had a truck and would help out all my friends move. Hell if they were broke due to the move (usually the case) I'd even supply pizza and beer. Last time I moved it was about 45 minutes outside of town and too much of a bother for anyone to help. My wife was sick and family was busy. I practically moved the entire house by myself.

It is truly amazing to me how when you're there for people during their time of need those same people can't even give a token help at your time. Granted I rarely if ever ask for help in doing anything and only borrow money from my parents (and nobody else) if absolutely necessary due to an emergency and then it isn't for me it is for my kid.

I empathize with you on this one. But I am a firm believer that everything you give does come back to you when there is a true need.

My mum frequently tells me that, 'you should never lend money with the intention of getting it back.'

reply to post by Jinglelord


Yeah you are right, money is not the only thing at all. I cannot count all the times I have done work for people, my personal business is hard wood floors, tiling, and sheetrocking. I have done people's houses for nothing more than a case of beer per day, and a hot meal at the end of the day. I have done families house for less, but family is always willing to help me with their expertise as well. I guess maybe I should just adopt the mentality of screw anyone that is not real family. There are people I have thought of as family that have screwed me over.