Where am I? = Original Short Story, page 1

Where am I? = Original Short Story, page

privacy

Pages:
ATS Members have flagged this thread 9 times

Topic started on 2-4-2011 @ 01:56 AM by boncho

Sammy cupped his elbow with his hand. Pain: tingling and burning. He ran his palm down his arm. A bump in his forearm pricked his fingers as though it could cut them.

Light penetrated the creases in his worn, half-shut eyes. He didn't know where he was or what had happened. The last image in his mind: his girlfriend saying goodbye, driving away from him on her way home. Had he gone inside the house? He didn't remember. Eyes burning, too much light. Where the hell am I? He thought.

Cracked concrete walls and hanging sodium lights surrounded him. A room the size of a jail cell, dark in the corners and burning bright in the middle. He touched the steel table in front of him. A feeling of sleep was in his nerves. Everything dull to the touch.

Musky odor permeated his nostrils. Clicking sounds rattled his ears. The clicking grew louder, his body turned in an aggressive burst for him to see a black door rush open. A dark figure entered. Strong jawline and crew cut hair, the man's green camouflage came into focus.

"You want to start talking now kid?"

Sammy put his head down. Gibberish. Why is this guy speaking in tongues? He thought.

"You going to speak up or you want to go water boarding?" The soldier hammered Sammy's eardrums with his voice.

The English language came back to him.

"Aah, I... Don't know what's going on." Sammy's body shook.

"You don't know what's going on?"

A mop top of brown hair shook back and forth.

"You know where you are?"

"No." Sammy pleaded.

"I don't need this crap kid, I got a wife at home cooking and a kid waiting for her dad to show for dinner. Tell me how you got in the base and we can end this. The longer you hold out, the longer you are gonna spend here."

Sammy burst from his chair. Clanking metal pulled him back into it. He looked down to see his legs shackled against the table. He waved his hands and screamed...

"I don't know where I am. Oh my god, please, what the hell is going on."

Tears came down his cheek.

"Stop messing around kid. You broke into a top-secret-god-damned-military-base. Do you know what that means dumbass?"

Sammy heaved and his body shook in quick vibrations.

"It means I can put a bullet in your head right now and no one will have anything to say about it." The soldiers fist crashed into the metal table and Sammy's ears bleed in pain.

"I don't know where I am, I swear to god I don't know where I am." Snot and mucus dripped from Sammy's mouth and the bright lights were drowned out from his tears.

"You got five minutes to figure it out but if you don't give us something you are going swimming." Spit flew from the soldiers mouth, his body lurched to the side and the black door closed behind him.

Cold and lonely. Scared, with shock. With fear. Sammy ran his hand over his arm again. The bump pressed back on his hand. What the hell is going on, what the hell is going on? He yelled inside of his mind.

The bump in his arm grew, skin raised and turned red-transparent. Looking at the lights he choked on his own fear and then everything turned black. Silence. Nothing. Like a rush of ecstasy thoughts flooded his mind. He saw everything now, Jenna driving off in the night. A light above her car. Changing colors from green to red to blue. It came closer. Above his head. He could still see Jenna in the distance when it happened.

"Ahhhh, oh no. Please" Sammy yelled. He screamed and the metal table rang with his arms crashing of it. His knuckles split open as he beat his fists. "Nooooo." He screamed.

He grabbed the lump in his forearm and squeezed it in his fingers. He pulled as hard as he could. Nothing happened. His teeth clamped down on his skin and he bite with frantic force. Blood filled his mouth. He could feel metal in between his teeth.

His head whipped back from an electrical shock. The bump in his arm turned bright. Brighter than the lights of the room. The black door swung open. The soldier's boots stopped dead in their tracks. Sammy screamed, the light in his arm blocked out the soldiers view. Overpowering everything in the room.

And then nothing. The room was empty. Sammy was gone.

The soldier stood with a gaze of awe. He had a dinner to get to. None of this ever really happened.

edit on 2-4-2011 by boncho because: Format

reply posted on 2-4-2011 @ 02:07 AM by boncho

If anyone has questions about what is going on in the story I can help but anyone who wants to provide their own feedback of interpretation is more than welcome to.

reply posted on 2-4-2011 @ 04:50 AM by Claudius

This is indeed a very nice story!
Well done.

But can you clarify the last part of it please?

reply posted on 2-4-2011 @ 10:10 AM by boncho

reply to post by Claudius

Sammy was retaken by the alien ship in front of the soldier. He had the bug in his arm that was tracking him. When it was activated he disappeared in front of the soldier, and since it was a classified base, there would be no record of Sammy. That's why it ends with "this never really happened"

Hope this clears it up.

ETA: the last line probably should've been:

The soldier stood with a gaze of awe. He had a dinner to get to. None of this officially happened.

edit on 2-4-2011 by boncho because: (no reason given)

reply posted on 3-4-2011 @ 12:00 AM by Claudius

reply to post by boncho

That was a great ending!

I liked the entire story very much.

reply posted on 7-4-2011 @ 08:49 AM by Arbitrageur

reply to post by boncho

Nice story!

I kind of guess the part about biting the device in his arm at the end having something to do with aliens.

But I'm less clear on why the aliens put him into the secret military base to begin with. Is it because they abducted him earlier, and then just picked some random place to return him to and it happened to be on the secret base?

By the way I also like your posts in the other threads, we need some open-minded skeptics on ATS. I've starred a bunch of your posts.

reply posted on 7-4-2011 @ 11:20 AM by boncho

reply to post by Arbitrageur

Thanks for the kind comments. I enjoy your posts too.

The reasons behind the actions of the aliens in this story is up for interpretation for the reader. I don't like to spell everything out, so that way each person can come to their own conclusions. It is no Dan Brown style of writing, but I enjoy stories like that because they change over your lifetime.

My thoughts when writing it were that the kid was programmed to go into the base and retrieve something but he was caught. It's up to the reader to think of why it happened though.

reply posted on 10-4-2011 @ 02:20 PM by ElusiveMonty

Wow what an amazing short story. Some of the things that were said like "Snot and mucus dripped from Sammy's mouth and the bright lights were drowned out from his tears." really made me feel for Sammy and the fear he had and how violent the soldiers were being toward him really pulled me into the story and I was getting anxious! Such an intense story with such a simple ending too. You've inspired me to write one

reply posted on 30-7-2011 @ 03:29 AM by Kandinsky

reply to post by boncho

I noticed this in your sig and had a look. It's a good story and the length is ideally suited for a storyboard presentation in a comic. The guy gets screwed pretty badly; loses his missus, implanted by aliens, interrogated by the military and then abducted.

reply posted on 30-7-2011 @ 11:09 AM by boncho

Originally posted by Kandinsky
reply to post by boncho

I noticed this in your sig and had a look. It's a good story and the length is ideally suited for a storyboard presentation in a comic. The guy gets screwed pretty badly; loses his missus, implanted by aliens, interrogated by the military and then abducted.

Thanks for reading.

And your breakdown was spot on.

reply posted on 30-7-2011 @ 11:13 AM by hillynilly

Absolutely brilliant!!

S and F op S and F

reply posted on 30-7-2011 @ 11:19 AM by InnerTruths

Cool story bro

I enjoyed the short read. It was intense right off the bat.

Your sig caught my attention (because it's like mine).

Looking forward to more

reply posted on 30-7-2011 @ 11:37 AM by boncho

Originally posted by InnerTruths
Cool story bro

I enjoyed the short read. It was intense right off the bat.

Your sig caught my attention (because it's like mine).

Looking forward to more

Every time people take the time to read some of my old stuff it usually motivates me to write new stuff.

Should have some soon.

reply posted on 5-8-2011 @ 08:48 PM by Qwenn

Do you provide the refreshments ?

I feel strange and drowsy, is it something that you put in the story ?

reply posted on 29-8-2011 @ 08:09 PM by Sphota

reply to post by boncho

No, I like "None of this really happened." Better, because it leaves the reader to think what I thought. (I think anyway). In my mind, I thought, did it not really happen because the soldier was dreaming it or did it not really happen because it was a secret base. It's good that way.

reply posted on 29-8-2011 @ 09:22 PM by boncho

Originally posted by Sphota
reply to post by boncho

No, I like "None of this really happened." Better, because it leaves the reader to think what I thought. (I think anyway). In my mind, I thought, did it not really happen because the soldier was dreaming it or did it not really happen because it was a secret base. It's good that way.

Thanks for the input.

Very much appreciated.

reply posted on 8-9-2011 @ 09:53 AM by JoeDaShom

I liked this very much! S&F

Let me know when you write more!

If you have time, please check my short story in my sig. Thanks!

Pages: ^^TOP^^