Understanding Why You Are, And How You Got Here.

We as a people are serious of many things. Some about "why" were here, and some about "where" we are going. But everyone needs a place. A place to feel like they have come into their own, make accomplishments, or even moved forward.

When some do NOT find their place, they are left with feelings of inadequacy, or loneliness, and need a place of their very own. Whether it is in a clique, or a smaller group. But a feeling like "fitting" in is needed by many. We as a unit/family/group need and are brought up to feel as the only way we will be fulfilled would be through human acceptance, and interaction.

This IMHO is false. Our differences out weigh our similarities. I know that this is a different concept and even one that many cannot understand. While we are taught that we live and die alone, we are also taught that we could never be complete without family, or those around us that feel the same.

So we strive for whatever we feel we were taught, and even denounce our natural inclinations of being individuals in order to fit in. Either it be drinking, drugs, hanging out with the wrong people, or even NOT being yourself. Many of us weigh the difference, but when we do, we seem we be separated from the group. Many of us tend to get angry, and lonely, and even abusive, because us "fitting" in just doesn't do it.

We turn away from diversity, difference, and in turn, turn away from excelling by going with the grain. Our natural inclination is to bring something to the table, it always has been. This is how our species has advance. You bring fire, I bring grill (in a sense). If we become the norm we are in fact contributing to the demise of individuality, and all of the good things that come with it.

So, I say, be yourself. Notice your qualities, bring your best foot forward, and make a difference. Thanks for your time.

Peace, NRE.

As someone who loves to write essays and such, I wanted to say something.

Could you possibly do a once over of your OP for me PLEASE???

Interesting topic, but if can, you can da kine do one more edit? if can can, if no can, no can.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


It's easier said than done..but we as a species have blinded ourself with fashion,media,stereotypes,etc that most have forgot what it means to be human.

NoRegretsEver,

That plot twist in paragraph 3 caught me by surprise.



I don't know how to agree, or to disagree with what is written in the opening post. So, I guess I'll just have to add my opinion all on it's own.


It's the range of normalcy that our explorations in individuality can expand.

I can bring butane, charcoal, or wood for the fire.
You can bring iron, alluminum, even steel for the grill.

Can we be a disfunctional family?


David Grouchy

Its not just about being human, but about being different and that being ok. Not wanting to be like the crowd, because the mind normally wants to be free to explore. We have forced ourselves to be the same, when all we want to do is be different.

This is why I feel that so many people lie so much. If we were given the option to be honest about how we feel all the time, we would have advanced farther then we are now, because ideas would have been exchanged, as opposed to everyone using group think.

Peace, NRE.

Originally posted by NoRegretsEver
This is why I feel that so many people lie so much. If we were given the option to be honest about how we feel all the time, we would have advanced farther then we are now, because ideas would have been exchanged, as opposed to everyone using group think.

Peace, NRE.

Game, set, and match.
You've got me on that one.

Yes, fear of deviation is a very strong normalizer.
Or, so-called normalizer I should say.


David Grouchy

Originally posted by davidgrouchy
NoRegretsEver,

That plot twist in paragraph 3 caught me by surprise.

I don't know how to agree, or to disagree with what is written in the opening post. So, I guess I'll just have to add my opinion all on it's own.


It's the range of normalcy that our explorations in individuality can expand.

I can bring butane, charcoal, or wood for the fire.
You can bring iron, alluminum, even steel for the grill.

Can we be a disfunctional family?

David Grouchy

edit on 31-3-2011 by davidgrouchy because: (no reason given)

We can both bring something to the table in different ways, and look for the same result. Both are indeed different, but we respect each other opinions, applied them and got a great result in two different ways.

Peace, NRE.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


Edit to add: Will stay on topic here.

Please refer to my following posts.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


That is a really interesting concept you have there.
I agree with alot of it but ill what i think:
I think that people do all of this to fit in definately for the social acceptance and what not, but its not because they are going the wrong path because they should be finding individuality. This is how people find there individuality, they do it through other people. Ive experienced this myself in my earlier stages of high school. You go from one group to another for the acceptance and emotional comfort but ultimately you are trying to find yourself in these people as you are drawn to people with your own interests thus finding out these aspects of yourself. As you travel from peer group to peer group you find out more about yourself and your own likes untill you find a group of people you ultimately sit well with and if you are now content with who you are and your 'individuality' there you will stay.

Although, people do go the wrong way to try to be like others, because they dont know themselves. They want to be like these people because it will be portrayed as cool or whatever, this is why i think my generation is so lost at the moment because they get bombarded with so much cra.p before they truly know who they are so they go towards what is portrayed and then they turn into carbon copies of that. How can you know what you want and need when you dont even know yourself? i think this is why people get in behaviors such as drugs because it fills these empty spaces of knowing yourself and being an individual. It will work for a while but it will be a placebo, as its like trying to shove a triangle puzzle peice into a diamond one.

So yes, i definately agree with you with people striving to find themselves and be an individual, but i think they do this by socializing with other people.

reply to post by SolarE-Souljah


I am sorry that you are having a hard time understanding the subject. It wasn't meant to be confusing. Maybe you can read the posts by myself and David Grouchy, as I feel we are having a conversation, see is as that and see if you can understand a bit better.

Peace, NRE.

reply to post by littlecloud


Thanks for your reply, and yes I think that is a part of life, we are faced with making decisions that in the past, we may have done different now. But there are many that have lost their way in fear of losing the acceptance of a group and they do not choose to be individuals, for fear of being ostracized. So the cycle continues.

Peace, NRE.

I totally agree we need to keep our individuality.

There are many things today that try to influence us to act a certain way etc. etc. We are above that and we can be an individual and we certainly do not need to act like the celebrities do.

I can understand how some people would want to follow the latest trends and fit in. I'm not really like that.

I have always been different. First of all, I am about 16 different ethnicities, so people have a hard time categorizing me. I like this personally. People can't just look at me and be like "typical white kid." Because I am not white and I am not typical.

So in that sense, I know what it is like to be on the outside looking in. There have been times where I have visited the American Mainland where the White population will actually think I'm Mexican, and they think I'm like an illegal immigrant or something. It's silly. There were times I would try to be crossing the road and white people would try and run me over because they thought I was like crossing the border or something. LOL. Not even kidding.

Anyway, basically the gist of this post is, it is fun to be an individual.

reply to post by SolarE-Souljah


I am aware that you do not want to derail the thread, so I will "rephrase" the OP as much as I can. This may either be or more or less helpful then the OP, so sorry in advance.

"We" and I mean anyone thats reading this, have a right to not feel "wrong" for wanting to be different. Those who have had a feeling that they are "separated" from many, is almost solely based on group think that is provided "harmlessly" by parents/guardians/loved ones/, such as the first day of school.. I'm sure you'll find a friend/dont ruffle feathers.

Our "unnatural" inclination (due to upbringing etc,.) is to try to be in the best/biggest group, which many of us find is not the best decision. When realized we are already either in a rut, or afraid to go outside the box. So we maintain the status-quo, and are unable to make a difference where it matters most.

Hope this helped

Peace, NRE.

Originally posted by NoRegretsEver

So, I say, be yourself. Notice your qualities, bring your best foot forward, and make a difference. Thanks for your time.

Peace, NRE.

lovely thread, I second that emotion,insight or vision. It funny how this has become an above top secret file. Shows what a mess we have got ourselves in to. What can be done can easily be undone, for those willing and confident enough. Thanks for the inspiration.

reply to post by ancientthunder

Thanks for the inspiration.

And thank you for your participation. Just as much as it is important to have a good topic, is is even better when those of you who have participated, become part of the topic. Thank you all.

Peace, NRE.