posted on Apr, 13 2011 @ 09:46 PM
I'm a male. I think that women (as usual) get blamed a lot, when we have to try and talk "around" what is going on.
The true reason for refusing to marry is simply because you want to keep your options open. As long as you don't legally commit, you can leave with
a lot fewer repercussions.
Giving a woman a ring (proposing) is a way of saying you trust her with something valuable; that you're not going to just abandon her when a
supermodel asks you for directions to the train station. Basically that you'll be there for tomorrow, and every day after.
Refusal to marry is basically refusal to tie yourself to one person. A legitimate reason for either party to break off the relationship.
The thing is, most guys in "western culture" will not come out and tell a woman that she is ok to sleep with, but they have no intention of sticking
around from then on. Since women are often ridiculed for wanting a permanent relationship, and men don't want to deal with the consequences of the
fact that they intend to move on later....
...people use objects like rings to symbolize what they plan for the future.
Since people cannot be forthright about what they need and expect, they use objects to "test" each other, as the OP put it.
Think of it from the woman's perspective. If he says he loves you, but is unwilling to go to the trouble of saving up for a gift or a wedding, or
even a surprise on your birthday, how is he ever going to "celebrate" anything else in life with you? If he won't scrimp and save for a wedding
ring, do you really think he'll be willing to support you while you go to law school? If your emotional needs are not worth a portion of his annual
income... do you honestly thinks he will personally invest in your happiness as a spouse?
Writing her a love song gets the point across just as well. But then, the guy usually can't to that, either.
Two years into the relationship, he will ignore her and play video games all evening. She wasn't worth a ring, and then isn't worth paying
attention to, later. And he isn't even man enough to admit it, to her or himself.