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Why is there an obsession with a ring?
I couldn't tell you why women want them.
Originally posted by Gazrok
No matter how nice, kind, or grounded a woman is....the ONE thing that will ALWAYS make her day, is the respect and admiration of other women, and a big, fancy ring is an easy way to get this. (not a cheap way, but an easy way if one has the means).
Originally posted by Jess_Undefined
Well first of all the size or price of the ring should not matter. Its the thought and commitment that counts. As far as marrage goes I guess most woman are just brought up always seeing it on TV and dreaming of how there wedding will be, its just something most or alot have always wanted.
I dont think its that important. If you love someone, getting married shouldnt matter. Its just a piece of paper. But if it happens, great. I think the obession with it is stupid. It should be something both people do if they both feel its a step they want to take. But it shouldnt break the relationship if one or either dont want it.
Originally posted by Gazrok
Yes, but I'm betting the women who are saying this have more life experience (aren't necessarily older, there is a difference)....and are already more grounded, so yes, it isn't as important to them (and they've probably already had a wedding, etc.
Originally posted by dr_strangecraft
I'm a male. I think that women (as usual) get blamed a lot, when we have to try and talk "around" what is going on.
The true reason for refusing to marry is simply because you want to keep your options open. As long as you don't legally commit, you can leave with a lot fewer repercussions.
Giving a woman a ring (proposing) is a way of saying you trust her with something valuable; that you're not going to just abandon her when a supermodel asks you for directions to the train station. Basically that you'll be there for tomorrow, and every day after.
Refusal to marry is basically refusal to tie yourself to one person. A legitimate reason for either party to break off the relationship.
The thing is, most guys in "western culture" will not come out and tell a woman that she is ok to sleep with, but they have no intention of sticking around from then on. Since women are often ridiculed for wanting a permanent relationship, and men don't want to deal with the consequences of the fact that they intend to move on later....
...people use objects like rings to symbolize what they plan for the future.
Since people cannot be forthright about what they need and expect, they use objects to "test" each other, as the OP put it.
Think of it from the woman's perspective. If he says he loves you, but is unwilling to go to the trouble of saving up for a gift or a wedding, or even a surprise on your birthday, how is he ever going to "celebrate" anything else in life with you? If he won't scrimp and save for a wedding ring, do you really think he'll be willing to support you while you go to law school? If your emotional needs are not worth a portion of his annual income... do you honestly thinks he will personally invest in your happiness as a spouse?
Writing her a love song gets the point across just as well. But then, the guy usually can't to that, either.
Two years into the relationship, he will ignore her and play video games all evening. She wasn't worth a ring, and then isn't worth paying attention to, later. And he isn't even man enough to admit it, to her or himself.
Originally posted by RRstl1000
Im not a women but the following tends to pretty accurate imo.
Men are logical, woman are emotional. Men act on what makes sense, woman rely on how they feel about something. It's just how it is. Too bad we can't coexist and embrace these attributes more effectively... This world would probably be be a much more peaceful place.edit on 24-3-2011 by RRstl1000 because: (no reason given)