Is being gay a choice/lifestyle?

I believe being gay is something you are born with, at least in most cases.

However, society affects ppl as well. maybe not their feelings, but who they choose to become intimate with. my main example is bisexual chicks. I know some chicks that will say they are bi and engage in sexual activitys with other women in order to arrouse the men they want to attract. This is the only form of sexual behavoir that really bothers me. Lying about your desires to attract others...terrible.

---pineapple

Jakko: "And of course you can have other friends that are the gender you're attracted to as well, but I don't think that's usual. " Thats not usual? where do you live? I have plenty of close friends that are the gender i am attracted to...and trust me, there is no sexual desire for the other on either side.

lovemydvr: " Just as I tend to gossip, I am not content with it because I know it is sinful. " Exactly. I dont know how a homosexual's mind works, but i have to imagine that, just as you havent-nor plan to is my guess-stopped gossiping, they have no intention of actually stopping. It just feels too good and its a very strong temptation.

James the Lesser: "So, all you christians sayong gays are evil and not born gay and are disgusting, you all going to hell. " HAHAHAHAHA, that was one of the best "lightening ups" of this thread that ive seen, weither or not you realized it



[edit on 24-7-2004 by pineappleupsidedown]

Dr Strangecraft I really don't see what your point is, gay people may be born with a certain genetic urge but they still 'choose to act on it', and????

Is your argument that because they 'choose to act on it' this makes it wrong/right/completely irrelevent. I don't understand what your driving at.

Ivanhoe or whatever your name is, did you glean all your extensive knowledge of gay people from studying Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. Sorry on this subject you really are struggling.

its a choice, youre not born racist, youre not born liking blondes or brunettes, youre not born with a political view or religious belief, all of it is from emotional and enviromental stimuli, and being gay is no different, its not like being black, white, male, female, disabled, short, tall or whatever, those cant be controlled but emotional choice can be- i know, i have those feelings towards men but i choose not to be gay because i feel its wrong and i know it wont make me happy, i know its from a pshycological issue i have with women, it is a choice to be gay, noone put a gun to their head and told to be gay.


[edit on 24-7-2004 by namehere]

Originally posted by badkitty
I'm not getting where you're coming from with this. How can we "find out wether their desire for woman is a choice/lifestyle or something they're born with" other than through scientific/medical study? How can the average hetro know what goes on in the mind, heart and body of the average homo?

How? I explained how.
There is no difference between being gay or straight, besides that it's the other way around. Do I choose to get turned on by other woman? No, I just do.
It does not take any study to understand it's the exact same way for gay people.

Originally posted by pineappleupsidedown

Jakko: "And of course you can have other friends that are the gender you're attracted to as well, but I don't think that's usual. " Thats not usual? where do you live? I have plenty of close friends that are the gender i am attracted to...and trust me, there is no sexual desire for the other on either side.

I didn't mean it like that.
Usually, generally, on average most friends that a person has are not the gender they are attracted to. That's just statistics.
I'm not saying it's wrong, weird or strange to have a lot of friends of the gender you are attracted to, because it's not. It's just the facts that most people tend to have friends of the gender they are not attracted to.

OEDIPE once again !

I don't think people born gay, but I don't think it's a lifestyle choice. To me it's an education question. Gays often have a very possessive mother, or they are children of divorced parents. Also, some people who have been sexually abused become gay or lesbian because they are disguted or they fear having relations with other sex partners.

But it's different for the trangender persons, they often say that they are borned in a body of one sex, but them mind is of the other sex...

I know someone, who was raped by four men at the age of fozrteen, and he decided from then on, that he will only be gay. Before that, he was a normal boy. Sorry, but being gay has nothing to do with biologics or being disabled.

People could have emotions towards their own gender, but in a cultural society they have the chance to take control over them, because the right thing is to be with women.

OK - Just one last counterattack, as I can't stand to argue with ignorance. I have read very few posts where the "facts" posted resembled anything close to a fact. First, we are encouraged to keep religion out of these posts. However, the entire topic is about creation. Hmmm. I guess the only people posting would be athiests. Second, whoever posted that anyone judging gays is going straight to hell...please read the bible if you're going to quote it. You're right when you say we shouldn't judge gays, but remember - sin is sin. If people who judge are going to hell, then so are gays. The bible calls both a sin! Thirdly, using the Catholic Priest issue to support "gay from birth" is the saddest reasoning I've seen yet. You take a man, exclude him from female relationships, put him in the middle of men and boys for years on end, and think that because he rapes them that he must've been gay from birth??? I suppose the burly men raping other men in prison are also gay. I dare you to tell them that to their face. Enjoy the continuation of this never-ending debate!

Originally posted by lovemydvr
OK - Just one last counterattack, as I can't stand to argue with ignorance. I have read very few posts where the "facts" posted resembled anything close to a fact. First, we are encouraged to keep religion out of these posts. However, the entire topic is about creation. Hmmm. I guess the only people posting would be athiests. Second, whoever posted that anyone judging gays is going straight to hell...please read the bible if you're going to quote it. You're right when you say we shouldn't judge gays, but remember - sin is sin. If people who judge are going to hell, then so are gays. The bible calls both a sin! Thirdly, using the Catholic Priest issue to support "gay from birth" is the saddest reasoning I've seen yet. You take a man, exclude him from female relationships, put him in the middle of men and boys for years on end, and think that because he rapes them that he must've been gay from birth??? I suppose the burly men raping other men in prison are also gay. I dare you to tell them that to their face. Enjoy the continuation of this never-ending debate!

The burly men that you are talking about are sick, they take any hole they can and that has nothing to do with being gay, but just raping and frustration.

I know that I like girls, have always liked girls and always will.

The thought of having sex with a man makes me puke. No offense.

I have several gay friends both male and female and they tell me the same.


I never made a choice to be stright. I was born that way and NO amount of TV shows or gay teletubbies or gay marriges or whatever will change that.

If you are secure in your own sexuality what are you scared of?

Thank God Im not a twisted heterosexual, having that kinky sex with a completely opposite gender. Commiting those filty depraved acts. That is just sick. Heterosexuals are overpopulating and poisoning the planet.

HOW IS IT HOMOSEXUALITY IS AN 'ISSUE' WHEN HETEROSEXUALITLY IS WRECKING THE PLANET?

[note: most of this is rhetorical, I just don't know how to get through to some of these thick headed bigots. The above would be the thoughts of a homosexual bigot.]

edit for emphasis

[edit on 24-7-2004 by slank]

I admit being gay myself till now no one has ever proven that gays are born the way they are, but only .....

www.narth.com...

I can only say for myself that I always knew that I was gay, even when I look back at my childhood. Yes, I played with barbies from when I can remember. I always had more girls as friends then boys. This has always been since I can remember myself. So for me it feels like I was born like it. It was simply always there, not knowing it was called gay. I also never had any interest in woman then in a friendly way. When I became sixteem I decide to told this to my parents and since then I live a gay life.

For bisexual people it can be maybe a disicion to be gay or lesbian, but on the other hand im pretty sure that you alwas end up with sexuality you really like.

When people ask me do you like woman, I can say yes, but only woman that are extremely extremely beautifull, everything must be perfect on the body, not just the ordinary woman on the street. But still I can't think sexual about it.

For me it doesn't matter if I was gay from my birth, because simply cannot remember that I wasn't when I look back and that's the most important thing for me. I know myself and I live the life I am happy with.

I just can't imagine being gay, I hope, this is the right way of thinking. Do we see the world being overpopulated? Well, people who are a bit self concious, will not make children upon each other, like in the poor countries, where children are starving to their death because their parents can't feed them...

I changed my opinion and I am not going to proceed with my online and open investigation about gays. It may be harmful to some people, and I am not a doctor.

The last thing I wanted to say to homosexual men is to analyse themselves deeply - they will find that they are men and not women, and that they immitate women as punishment to themselves from a failure taking place deep in their early years. In fact, you will find that the female behaviour that you immitate is the behaviour of the woman you want in bed!

Originally posted by masterp
I changed my opinion and I am not going to proceed with my online and open investigation about gays. It may be harmful to some people, and I am not a doctor.

The last thing I wanted to say to homosexual men is to analyse themselves deeply - they will find that they are men and not women, and that they immitate women as punishment to themselves from a failure taking place deep in their early years. In fact, you will find that the female behaviour that you immitate is the behaviour of the woman you want in bed!

This is really rediculous!! You are saying now all homosexual guys acting like girls and immitate women as punishment to themselves from a failure....ok maybe you should go investigate homosexuality to see that most of them are just normal men and not acting like girls, you watched to much TV.

Originally posted by masterp
I changed my opinion and I am not going to proceed with my online and open investigation about gays. It may be harmful to some people, and I am not a doctor.

The last thing I wanted to say to homosexual men is to analyse themselves deeply - they will find that they are men and not women, and that they immitate women as punishment to themselves from a failure taking place deep in their early years. In fact, you will find that the female behaviour that you immitate is the behaviour of the woman you want in bed!

Man you need to get out more often

Not all gays are girlie men just like not all lesibans are crew-cut truck drivers. I knew some in prison that would REALLY love to hear you say how womanish they are. I also knew them in the army, among the police force, back in my biker days, etc.


They are just people dude, just like we are.

They just happen to like men.

It really amazes me to see how many people still think being gay is a choice or lifestyle.
You would expect members of a community that attempts to "deny ignorance" to know better than this.

The "sheep researches" are either utterly ignored, or simply dismissed as unreliable or not in relation to humans.

Some christians openly admit they rather not use their brains if it's slightly possible to let the bible think for them.

It really is sad and I can not stress enough that God gave us our brains for a reason.

A close relative just found out that she's gay, and she's really struggling with it. My guess was that in our world, 2004, being gay is no longer a problem, but when I look at this board it seems that half of you does not even know what being gay is.

I hope this topic changed something.

[edit on 24-7-2004 by Jakko]

Sorry but some of the people posting on this thread really do not have a clue.

Has anyone ever considered the fact that if we let people choose who they want to sleep / live with, there'd be less people settling into gay relationships? The fact is, sexuality is a dynamic in all relationships. The degree to which an individual is sexually inclined to their own gender is as varied as human individuality. Some boys are going to strongly like boys but not have the morale courage to defy society. Thus they end up taking the 'straight' life to the disservice of the poor wife he's not interested in and to himself. Some girls will strongly like girls and not give a # what society says and live that lifestyle. Some men will like men, but they really like females. They may explore sex with men but decide it's just not their thing. Other men are straight men and have no inclination to having sex with men, but like women's clothing. This is because they have an innate urge to be appreciated as an object of beauty, to which the female clothing and the female aspect in modern society is prone to. In other societies, men beautify themselves and women are much more mundane. The men that choose not to adorn themselves are the ones considered queer.

Sexuality is something that is extremely complex, and education and human understanding of it is lacking. Sexuality and sexual preference and it's associated liberties often are suppressed in times of cultural oppression due to the collective need to survive. When a country comes to liberty and abundance, the collective sexuality becomes more open. Even great leaders who people have total faith in can have sex with partners of the same sex, and people don't blink twice at it because it's accepted.

Can anyone tell me, what it feels like in bed with a male? I mean, having sex, etc... Is it really true, that gays rarely keep their partners? I am really interested in, what is that good in being a gay?