Is being gay a choice/lifestyle?, page 1

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 07:49 AM

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I thought it would be interesting to investigate how many ATS members still think that being gay is a choice/lifestyle, rather than a way of being born.

What surprises me in discussions about gay-marriage/adoption is that noones talks about what being gay really is.
It's not strange that peoples opinions will differ greatly, when half of the people does not even know what we're talking about.

So for everyone to answer.

Do you think that being gay is a choice/lifestyle or a way of being born?

[edit on 22-7-2004 by Jakko]

TrueLies

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 07:56 AM

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Your born with it, who's supposed to know it is when your a baby? Your brain is a sponge, I don't knowi 'm not a scientist, but as your grow you develop a personality you develop intuition, you develop ideas thoughts feelings....

Some people are drawn to the same sex, they can't explain they just know they are, so yes, they would obviously make the decision to go with their gut instinct/intuition.

It's not like they woke up one day and said wow I really like the culture and lifestyle, I think i'm going to be gay! yay!

Many straights don't understand it, but they will claim they do and their reasoning is based just off their opinion is which largely impacted by their emotion... If your phobic of the whole idea it's discusting these people decided they want to be like this they like things in their ass so their gay.
blah blah blah barf... anger, lack of compassion, lack of understanding lack of ect...

Again i'm not a scholar on the subject, but I do know a many gay people and this conversation isn't new to me, just my 2 cents i'm sharing with ya'll...

Quest

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 08:37 AM

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Well I've had so many horrible relationships with women that I would be gay if I could. Yes, i'm just a bitter person, but if i could choose to be gay i would just not to deal with women any more. (Sorry ladies, maybe i just had a bad run.)

But, I am not gay. I have a natural repulsion at the thought of sexual activity with men, and a desire to be sexual with women.

Based on the fact that I can't choose to be gay, i would think the same can be said from the other side. So once you are an adult, I believe your sexuality is rather set even if it is bisexual.

Now how you get to this point can be debated. Is it genetic? Mental predisposition? Enviromental?

Freenrgy2

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 08:52 AM

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My brother is gay and I never saw it growing up. My mother was a big proponent of him being born that way. Me, I think it is an excuse not to accept personal responsibility. You see, when the questions get too tough or too personal then we go into defense mode and it must be someone else's fault. What better excuse to say that you are born this way.

I'm a christian and I know that this statement will bother some of you. No, I won't beat it over your heads, but I don't believe that God created man to love the same sex. I think that this is a deception of Satan and one of the many devices he uses to try and divide and destroy us.

I also don't believe that a homosexual living in this sinful (and we all have sin, I'm no exception) who is not willing to repent may not see the kingdom of heaven. There are many who believe that you can be gay and still see the pearly gates.

My best guess is that there are trigger events that happen within our lives, many subconsciously. The events effect us in very profound ways. For the gay person, it could be a home situation or a personal trauma. It could be peer pressure growing up and thinking you have to experiment.

Most of all it comes down to the fact that there is a void in everyone of us that only Christ can fill. Some fill it with drugs or alcohol. Some with pornography. And some, yes, will seek out a gay lifestyle to fill that void. The gay person doesn't understand this.

But there are many former gay people who have come to realize that their lifestyle was wrong and repented. They now speak out on the deception and the horrible agenda of today's gay community.

Everywhere I look it's gay; t.v., movies, parades, lawsuits, marriage (yuck!). Why such an agenda to brainwash/desensitize as many as you can? And remeber the truth that we (as in christian/striaght folks) have be tolerant of your beliefs but that you don't have to return the favor. If a gay is talked about, it's a "hate crime". If somebody scrawls "Satan Rules" on the side of a Christian bus, then it isn't. Go figure. I would be that had that been a gay pride bus and someone wrote something like "Christ lives" on the side, that the perpetrators would have been hunted down, the ACLU would have taken the case and those individuals lives would have been ruined. But if it happens to someone who is straight or a christian, then absolutely nothing would be done about it. Guess this is fair, don't ya think?

[edit on 22-7-2004 by Freenrgy2]

Jakko

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 09:22 AM

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Okay, so what about recent scientific experiments, showing that sheep that are gay, are actually born this way as shown by the size of certain hormone-related brainparts.

Would this be the same for humans?
If so it would prove that gay people are born this way...

rai76

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 09:34 AM

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For me personally.

Being Gay is not my lifestyle but it's how I was born. If I look back, I had all the simptons. Without getting into details I was already having a sort of fantasize from when I was 6 years old, and at highschool I started to have sex with guys. I had a girlfriend from when I 16 for just one year and all the time I knew that I liked guys more, but I couldn't give it any name. Now I defenetly can. I simply cannot shoose and say from no one I am gay or straight. If I would say I am straight, the same thing that happend with older guys that are married and have childeren, will happen to me. And im glad that I live in atime and part of the world ofcourse, that I can truly be who I am.

The reason that there are so many gay people over the last years is because alot of older guys couldn''t come out of the closet and now they can and suddenly it looks if almost everyone is gay. It's also more accepted by teenagers on school.

Ohh, yes, I had a perfect childhood, no problems at all. It's not true that all gay people have personal trauma or whatsovever. This is just Christian people that want to find a reason why someone is gay. Because then they can say that you can be cured of the trauma if you join God. That's so grap!! They have to face the facts and admitt that it's not a decise, but just the way you were born. I can also tell you that God does not exist. If he would really exist and would be the man everyone says, it's should not matter who or what you are. God is created by humans.

[edit on 11/8/2004 by rai76]

Freenrgy2

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 09:52 AM

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Typical rebuttle. The gay attacks the chrisitan and immeidaltey recites that God doesn't exist. My brother spews the same mantra. Must be in the gay handbook. It's too bad that you can see it as a deception, for this is what it really is. Perhaps you had the perfect childhood, but you made a choice. How would it sound if I said that I was dort of having sex with my nieces at 6 years old. Tell me what CHILD is 'sort of having sexual relations' at that age if there isn't some sort of abuse? This does not sound like a PERFECT childhood.

You mean scientists have never, ever made up a finding? You mean that scientists have found the "gay" gene? That's a bunch of crap. I bet that somewhere there is either a "gay" scientist or some collaboration with the gay community to prove that being gay is genetic.

I have also found out that MOST, but not all, gay people do not believe in God. To do so would bring them under God's laws and would, therefore, be in direct conflict with the word of God. So, believe in anything else but God and, voila, problem solved! But, it is the evil christian who wants to hurt the gay, right? I mean, after all God wouldn't let wars happen or children starve to death in Africa. God wouldn't allow AIDS or cancer to happen, would he? Yeah, if God were just the man he should be. What does that mean? What's YOUR defeinition of God.

I think that you had more in you childhood than you speak of. To be sexually aroused at 6 years old is not "normal". Maybe your family did not bring you up to have faith in God. Maybe you had a bad experience with a christian. (remember that nobody is perfect and there are no excuses for sin). Maybe you came from a single-parent home. There are some many things that could happen to you. May be you live in a community with a very large gay community that has a far-reaching influence over children.

SpittinCobra

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 09:57 AM

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I have a couple of Gay friends, It is not a choice for them. they have always been gay.

Me personaly think that some pick the lifestiyle because of thing that have happen in thier life. And some dont know any other way.

LadyV

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 10:02 AM

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I always find this topic odd. You are attracted to, what you are attracted to. What's so hard about that? I like men, I'm not in the least way attracted to woman, I look at a woman, and never get that feeling, that pull of attraction, or excited feeling......if your a man and you feel that toward another man....than that's what your feeling...why is that so hard for someone to understand? It really baffles me....you will be with what attracts you...simple...and who cares? Him being gay, you being gay, they being gay...doesn't effect my life! We all have problems of our own to deal with without worrying about who others are attracted to? If they get married, so what? It doesn't effect my marriage...why shouldn't they have the same legal rights? The whole thing is silly, and the religious implications....well, if your a Christian, your not supposed to judge....that's to be left to your god, not you.

deeprivergal

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 10:02 AM

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In times like this it is Politically Correct to be homosexual.

My best friend of several years was gay. I loved him, he was someone that I could always talk to about anything. However, he started to hit on my husband and that bothered me. He would look at gay pornography with my children in the house and that bothered me.

I don't think he had a choice being gay I think it was a hormonal imbalance of whatever in his brain. He was definately gay. He wasn't pretending, that part was obvious.

I don't talk to him anymore because of his behavior around my husband and kids, but I miss him.

Here's a question:

The majority of men find homosexuality repulsive. They think Ellen Degeneres is disgusting, what I don't understand is that if that disgusts them, then why do they look at lesbian pornography? What's the difference? For some reason men find two blonde haired, model type women together sexy. I don't get it.

[edit on 22-7-2004 by deeprivergal]

marg6043

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 10:05 AM

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rai76,

To me you are no more human than any other human in this earth, I don't believe in the religious bible myth made by men and neither the Christian created and portrayed devil, we all human and we all have the natural right to choose with who to share our affections.

The debate about homosexuality in this country is founded in the religious believes, to sorry to say that as long as people relay in a myth for morals and righteousness people that do not follow this myths will be persecuted.

Homosexuality should not be an issue in our society..

LadyV

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 10:06 AM

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Originally posted by deeprivergal
I

he started to hit on my husband and that bothered me. He would look at gay pornography with my children in the house and that bothered me.

But that had nothing to do with him being gay and more to do with his ethics. If he were not gay, he may of been hitting on you, and looking at hetero porn in front of your kids

rai76

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 10:31 AM

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The reason that no gay people believes in God is because of the Church is saying that it's not right to be gay and they wont accept you. On the other hand the Church is saying, God from everyone! Yeah, right!! That's why we don't believe in God.

Second, when i said I had sex with my nephew, I do not say really have sex, but just what a lot of people do at that age and you do more when you grow older and are a teenager, that's called experiment, that's perfectly normal.

Quest

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 10:36 AM

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Originally posted by deeprivergal
Here's a question:

The majority of men find homosexuality repulsive. They think Ellen Degeneres is disgusting, what I don't understand is that if that disgusts them, then why do they look at lesbian pornography? What's the difference? For some reason men find two blonde haired, model type women together sexy. I don't get it.

Have you ever seen Ellen Degeneres? She isn't exactly a young attractive woman. I wouldn't want to see her having sex with a man or a woman. Actually, she should just keep her clothes on if I'm around. So the two female models may work for some guys because they are attracted to "attractive women". (Personally I think most models are hideous.) As far as I know most people prefer porn in general with atractive people, be it hetro or lezbian/gay.

As for the being repulsed by homosexual sex, that too gets a bad rap. I do not like seeing homosexual sexuality. I have gay friends, I have no problem with them being gay, but seeing two men kiss or be intimate causes a natural mild level of disgust. This is probably evolutionary, since if men condoned gay relationships then reproduction rates would drop. Where as lesbianism wouldn't have hindered reproduction much because the men could still rape the women.

So while my social upbringing and conscoius thought are accepting of gay men, my instincts find it repulsive. I'm not a homophobe, I can look at gay porn, but I react to it the same as seeing a dead body or act of violence. I know it is there, I accept it, but i don't like seeing it.

People too often deny their instincts, though society for the most part has out grown them.

LadyV

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 10:38 AM

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Here's a question:

The majority of men find homosexuality repulsive. They think Ellen Degeneres is disgusting, what I don't understand is that if that disgusts them, then why do they look at lesbian pornography? What's the difference? For some reason men find two blonde haired, model type women together sexy. I don't get it.

[edit on 22-7-2004 by deeprivergal]

I have thought of this many times....it's simply double standard. Men can rationalize all they want, I have always been the lone female in a band from about the age of about 13 so I have heard it all, but the fact remains. Gay is gay, male or female...pure double standard because it's two females being together. For many men, it's not homosexuality "per say" they are bothered by...but "male" homosexuality. Many men will ask their SO to engage in homosexuality for them....a "threesome", but will be appalled if you were to ask the same thing of them...

astrocreep

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 10:49 AM
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My opinion is that homosexuality is a level of deviation. Now, thats just my personal opinion...and I'm entitled to it. You asked so I told you. I, however, don't make it my personal goal to enforce this opinion on anyone who doesn't ask or agree with it. I agree that there may be several real medical causes including electro-chemical to the spiritual causes such as possession. I mean, there are hundreds of theories and who knows which of them are right or wrong?

But, one thing that we cannot ignore, as others have brought up, is that homosexuality exist throughout other species in nature as well though defenetly not the dominant lifestyle for either. Another point is certain practices of homosexuals carry over to the more "active" hetero lifestyle as well. These facts lead me to belive that these compulsions are but levels of deviation from the established norm and that as they become passe', said norm will continue to be re-defined with each and every generation. When the norm expands to include and accpet fully, homosexuality, then we will be faced with pedophilia, necromancy and other "backroom" desires. Why? Because, IMO, there will always be the compulsion in some to push the factor of acceptance of this norm and push further others who are content to only be on the outside of it not willfully but instinctively.

I don't expect a gay person could ignore their feelings anymore than I could ignore my hetero feelings. Its a state of mind and so far, the triggers are unknown and because of PC and the fear of offending, we may never be allowed to find out why. Its a state of mind many have when commiting suicide. Most of us could never imagine doing such a thing yet many simply carry it out every day. What triggers the state of mind that turns off that defense mechanism? Is it chemical, is it cause by emotional stress?

Anything we do that is considered out of the norm with our fellow man is caused by a state of mind including the desire for the unknown that we all share who visit this message board. Should we be billyfied because we are not content to leave well enough alone and go with the flow? No, but it is a level of deviation from the norm and caused by a certain state of mind.

Faisca

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 10:54 AM
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Originally posted by LadyV
I have thought of this many times....it's simply double standard. Men can rationalize all they want, I have always been the lone female in a band from about the age of about 13 so I have heard it all, but the fact remains. Gay is gay, male or female...pure double standard because it's two females being together. For many men, it's not homosexuality "per say" they are bothered by...but "male" homosexuality. Many men will ask their SO to engage in homosexuality for them....a "threesome", but will be appalled if you were to ask the same thing of them...

Well let me tell you that I am one man who doesn't hold to this double standard. I personally find lesbianism offensive, and I don't enjoy looking at lesbian porn as much as other guys do. I would never engage in any kind of threesome, and I'd be pissed off if my girlfriend decided she was bi. I don't agree with homosexuality in any form, whether its lesbians or men.

I think the reason guys enjoy watching two lesbians and get grossed out at two guys is purely because we are attracted to women and not men. You can't expect a guy to think two guys making out is a good thing, because us straight ones don't find other guys attractive. We do find women attractive, so for most guys it's something like more of a good thing. But again, I personally don't get too much enjoyment from lesbian porn other than the fact that the two girls may be hot. Their actions don't give me any enjoyment.

Quest

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 10:55 AM
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Originally posted by LadyV
I have thought of this many times....it's simply double standard. Men can rationalize all they want, I have always been the lone female in a band from about the age of about 13 so I have heard it all, but the fact remains. Gay is gay, male or female...pure double standard because it's two females being together. For many men, it's not homosexuality "per say" they are bothered by...but "male" homosexuality. Many men will ask their SO to engage in homosexuality for them....a "threesome", but will be appalled if you were to ask the same thing of them...

If it is natural to be homosexual, it is natural to be repulsed by homosexuality. Either they are both a CHOICE or they are both natural.

Its in no way a double standard as in men are being oppressive or claiming more rights than women. Rather it is what they are and are not attracted to.

You said:

You are attracted to, what you are attracted to. What's so hard about that?

Whats so hard about accepting what men are and are not attracted too? Rather than claiming a double standard. These aren't standards, they are natrual attractions.

I am a man. I find two women engaging in sexual activity arousing. I find two men engaging in sexual activity repulsing. If these attractions are a choice...so is homosexuality. I don't think either are choices.

Jakko

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 11:11 AM
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Let's not forget that there are a lot of christian people who are homosexual. It's not a gay people vs christian people thing.
Christianity surely did damage to gay people in the past, but if it would not have been christianity, people would have found another way to act out their ignorance.

Again, what if gay people are born like this? What if it would be proven?
Should such discoveries lead to changes in law? Should such knowledge be taught to children at school?

dolphinguy2004

posted on Jul, 22 2004 @ 11:42 AM
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Originally posted by Freenrgy2

No, I won't beat it over your heads, but I don't believe that God created man to love the same sex. I think that this is a deception of Satan and one of the many devices he uses to try and divide and destroy us.

Freenrgy2, I'm curious to know why you think that God doesn't want man to love the same sex. What do you base this belief in? The bible maybe? Interesting, I always thought that the good book was man's intrepretation of God's word. Throughout history, man has been wrong many times.

And then you go on to say this:
quote:"I have also found out that MOST, but not all, gay people do not believe in God."

How have you found this? I'm really interested to know. Is there some kind of poll out there that shows this? And if there are straight people who don't believe in some form of higher being, does that mean that they are really gay?

And this quote from you is a real beauty:
quote:"I think that you had more in you childhood than you speak of. To be sexually aroused at 6 years old is not "normal". "

I always understood that male babies do have regular erections. Is this not normal as well? I mean, after all, to get an erection is caused by being aroused. Maybe you can enlighten us and define what you believe to be 'normal'.